SAHDs are not lepers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh and please explain how I’m supposed to “convince other men to stop raping, assaulting, and murdering at such alarming rates“?

I really want to do this. What should be the first step? Where can I find some criminals to chat with?

A good first step is not posting online about your hurt feelings to people who are worried about their physical safety and that of their children.

A good second step would be to get trained by or volunteer with a group like this:

https://www.acalltomen.org/

You might even find quite a lot of support for involved male parenting in such a group if you are willing to shift your focus to the behavior of men and not their perceived victimization.

The problem is that I have always been a sensitive man that has opposed toxic masculinity and fought for women. What could be more challenging to the patriarchy than being a SAHD while my wife builds her career? The men you are treating like shit are already in your corner. Focus your hate on something real. Men taking photos at sports games are not the problem and no I will not allow you to malign me for things I have no control over. I will not just keep quiet while you treat me like a sick criminal. Wouldn’t it be far more productive if you could join up with SAHDs to fight a shared enemy rather than treat me like one of the bad people? Nobody wants to be labeled with a group identity that they don't identify with. I thought a woman would understand that.

So, you didn’t actually want steps about how to convince other men. You weren’t looking for steps and suggestions. You just wanted to be told you’re amazing.

You’re not amazing. You’re not an ally. You are making women feel unsafe (which is why they’re moving away from you and taking their purses) and you want to be told you’re a victim.

I don’t have power over other men. Jesus christ you’re being such a jerk. I also am not responsible for what people think in their own mind so no I don’t “make women feel unsafe” just some of you that hate men. I spend my entire day with SAHMs and they don’t treat me like a criminal. It’s a you thing.

You asked for how you could convince other men, said you really wanted to do that, and then when given concrete suggestions for ways to do so with organizations who even focus on things like involved fatherhood— you reverted back to your victimhood.

You said women get up and take their purses and move away from you at the mall. Do you think they do that because they think they’re safe in your presence?

I think you may have some of us confused. I am not the only one responding.

I am literally not even in contact with other men. I take care of the kids and household. That takes 110% of my time. That is my contribution. I advocate against toxic masculinity every time I witness it. I don’t have to jump through your prescribed hoops just to want to be treated as an individual and not a violent rapist. Nobody ever deserves to be judged as a member of a group they want to be judged on their individual character.

Are you not reverting back to your own victimhood with every example you post? Hypocritical. Sorry I don't like being teated like a criminal any more than women want to be treated like a subservient housewife. I’m whining I guess. Oh well.

Then why did you ask for suggestions how you could convince other men if you had no interest in doing so?

It’s called a rhetorical question. I am not responsible for other men any more than you are responsible for bad women.

I do what I can but nothing allows me to stop bad men from being bad. I fight against bad men when I encounter them but even that has never changed any of their minds. I have been assaulted myself by bad men. How do you imagine SAHDs get treated by the toxic men? You think I would just let that happen if there was something that I could do about it? You think they actually listen to a man who takes care of babies all day? Please see what you are saying.

Many men are total aholes. The whole concept of masculinity is flawed. All I am asking is to not be treated like one of them when I am the complete opposite and actually working against the patriarchy by supporting my wife who works.

You would benefit from reading some of the linked material. Supporting your wife’s career doesn’t mean you’re fighting the patriarchy, particularly if you’re also hurling accusations of man hating and damage and ugliness and other gender based abuse at women on the internet while you’re home spending “110%” of your time on your kids and household. And if you’re not the OP, how are you being “treated like a criminal” unless that’s how you feel about being disagreed with by those you claim to support.

Supporting my wife certainly does fight the patriarchy. You can imagine what those men think of me. I am not hurling gender based insults. Have you missed the last dozen pages trying to justify treating all men like violent criminals? Talk about gender based insults! I am not the OP and I have a horse in this race because this thread has been really eye opening about how some women must be thinking about my mere existence. I also do not support you if you align yourself with the vitriol directed at innocent men. I support people who treat others well. I don’t view all women as a monolith and am asking for the same in return. Are you implying that I can’t be taking care of the house while posting on DCUM? Did you ever say that to a woman on here?

Supporting your wife supports…yourself and your wife. It has no impact on the patriarchy or the experience of any other woman. It’s the same way having one Black friend does not fight racism. Being disliked by toxic men doesn’t mean you yourself aren’t one.

How are you being treated like a criminal? Because women here say they’d feel unsafe by an unidentified man standing back from the field taking telephoto shots of their kids at their soccer games?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
How are you being treated like a criminal? Because women here say they’d feel unsafe by an unidentified man standing back from the field taking telephoto shots of their kids at their soccer games?

How do you know what the man is shooting?

You haven’t explained how that makes you feel unsafe! You haven’t explained how you’d feel about a woman doing the same thing. You have also failed to equate photos to SA.

More giant leaps of conjecture and zero substance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh and please explain how I’m supposed to “convince other men to stop raping, assaulting, and murdering at such alarming rates“?

I really want to do this. What should be the first step? Where can I find some criminals to chat with?

A good first step is not posting online about your hurt feelings to people who are worried about their physical safety and that of their children.

A good second step would be to get trained by or volunteer with a group like this:

https://www.acalltomen.org/

You might even find quite a lot of support for involved male parenting in such a group if you are willing to shift your focus to the behavior of men and not their perceived victimization.

The problem is that I have always been a sensitive man that has opposed toxic masculinity and fought for women. What could be more challenging to the patriarchy than being a SAHD while my wife builds her career? The men you are treating like shit are already in your corner. Focus your hate on something real. Men taking photos at sports games are not the problem and no I will not allow you to malign me for things I have no control over. I will not just keep quiet while you treat me like a sick criminal. Wouldn’t it be far more productive if you could join up with SAHDs to fight a shared enemy rather than treat me like one of the bad people? Nobody wants to be labeled with a group identity that they don't identify with. I thought a woman would understand that.

So, you didn’t actually want steps about how to convince other men. You weren’t looking for steps and suggestions. You just wanted to be told you’re amazing.

You’re not amazing. You’re not an ally. You are making women feel unsafe (which is why they’re moving away from you and taking their purses) and you want to be told you’re a victim.

I don’t have power over other men. Jesus christ you’re being such a jerk. I also am not responsible for what people think in their own mind so no I don’t “make women feel unsafe” just some of you that hate men. I spend my entire day with SAHMs and they don’t treat me like a criminal. It’s a you thing.

You asked for how you could convince other men, said you really wanted to do that, and then when given concrete suggestions for ways to do so with organizations who even focus on things like involved fatherhood— you reverted back to your victimhood.

You said women get up and take their purses and move away from you at the mall. Do you think they do that because they think they’re safe in your presence?

Go do that when a BiPOV sits down at the mall and your racist roots will be showing. But is okay to be a sexist. Got it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women don’t have the luxury of treating every man as an individual. If you had an ounce of EQ you would go to the game and introduce yourself to the other parents “I’m Larla’s dad. I’m gonna be taking pictures of the game.” But the fact that you want to lurk and then have people not treat you like a lurker is not upholding your part of the social contract. You know why no one says anything to the woman? Because they know her.

Every member of the team knows him or her. Most team parents do not really communicate nor do they introduce the photographers male or female to each other. My gosh your ignorance of team sports is showing.

[Anonymous]

I’ve seen men at a swim meet told to put the cameras away while the women are never told the same. All they are doing is taking pictures of THEIR KID in an individual race. A kid who is wearing much more than they do at a regular day at the pool.

So sexist and unfair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry that men commit SA all the time and we have to be vigilant. What a pity that this affects your ability to not work.

What is wrong with you?

This. I love the poster who shared all the male violence stats. If men don’t want to be profiled, they should stop committing so much violence. OP acts like it’s irrational for moms to fear men around children. It’s not. Get over it and convince other men to stop raping, assaulting, and murdering at such alarming rates. You’re blaming women for our reaction to male violence. Ridiculous.

This deserves a bump!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
How are you being treated like a criminal? Because women here say they’d feel unsafe by an unidentified man standing back from the field taking telephoto shots of their kids at their soccer games?

How do you know what the man is shooting?

You haven’t explained how that makes you feel unsafe! You haven’t explained how you’d feel about a woman doing the same thing. You have also failed to equate photos to SA.

More giant leaps of conjecture and zero substance.

Because the OP said he was.

I would feel unsafe because sexual predators have been arrested taking long lens photos of children on school and other public grounds and I don’t want my child being photographed by a pedophile for their gratification.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh and please explain how I’m supposed to “convince other men to stop raping, assaulting, and murdering at such alarming rates“?

I really want to do this. What should be the first step? Where can I find some criminals to chat with?

A good first step is not posting online about your hurt feelings to people who are worried about their physical safety and that of their children.

A good second step would be to get trained by or volunteer with a group like this:

https://www.acalltomen.org/

You might even find quite a lot of support for involved male parenting in such a group if you are willing to shift your focus to the behavior of men and not their perceived victimization.

The problem is that I have always been a sensitive man that has opposed toxic masculinity and fought for women. What could be more challenging to the patriarchy than being a SAHD while my wife builds her career? The men you are treating like shit are already in your corner. Focus your hate on something real. Men taking photos at sports games are not the problem and no I will not allow you to malign me for things I have no control over. I will not just keep quiet while you treat me like a sick criminal. Wouldn’t it be far more productive if you could join up with SAHDs to fight a shared enemy rather than treat me like one of the bad people? Nobody wants to be labeled with a group identity that they don't identify with. I thought a woman would understand that.

So, you didn’t actually want steps about how to convince other men. You weren’t looking for steps and suggestions. You just wanted to be told you’re amazing.

You’re not amazing. You’re not an ally. You are making women feel unsafe (which is why they’re moving away from you and taking their purses) and you want to be told you’re a victim.

I don’t have power over other men. Jesus christ you’re being such a jerk. I also am not responsible for what people think in their own mind so no I don’t “make women feel unsafe” just some of you that hate men. I spend my entire day with SAHMs and they don’t treat me like a criminal. It’s a you thing.

You asked for how you could convince other men, said you really wanted to do that, and then when given concrete suggestions for ways to do so with organizations who even focus on things like involved fatherhood— you reverted back to your victimhood.

You said women get up and take their purses and move away from you at the mall. Do you think they do that because they think they’re safe in your presence?

I think you may have some of us confused. I am not the only one responding.

I am literally not even in contact with other men. I take care of the kids and household. That takes 110% of my time. That is my contribution. I advocate against toxic masculinity every time I witness it. I don’t have to jump through your prescribed hoops just to want to be treated as an individual and not a violent rapist. Nobody ever deserves to be judged as a member of a group they want to be judged on their individual character.

Are you not reverting back to your own victimhood with every example you post? Hypocritical. Sorry I don't like being teated like a criminal any more than women want to be treated like a subservient housewife. I’m whining I guess. Oh well.

Then why did you ask for suggestions how you could convince other men if you had no interest in doing so?

It’s called a rhetorical question. I am not responsible for other men any more than you are responsible for bad women.

I do what I can but nothing allows me to stop bad men from being bad. I fight against bad men when I encounter them but even that has never changed any of their minds. I have been assaulted myself by bad men. How do you imagine SAHDs get treated by the toxic men? You think I would just let that happen if there was something that I could do about it? You think they actually listen to a man who takes care of babies all day? Please see what you are saying.

Many men are total aholes. The whole concept of masculinity is flawed. All I am asking is to not be treated like one of them when I am the complete opposite and actually working against the patriarchy by supporting my wife who works.

You would benefit from reading some of the linked material. Supporting your wife’s career doesn’t mean you’re fighting the patriarchy, particularly if you’re also hurling accusations of man hating and damage and ugliness and other gender based abuse at women on the internet while you’re home spending “110%” of your time on your kids and household. And if you’re not the OP, how are you being “treated like a criminal” unless that’s how you feel about being disagreed with by those you claim to support.

Supporting my wife certainly does fight the patriarchy. You can imagine what those men think of me. I am not hurling gender based insults. Have you missed the last dozen pages trying to justify treating all men like violent criminals? Talk about gender based insults! I am not the OP and I have a horse in this race because this thread has been really eye opening about how some women must be thinking about my mere existence. I also do not support you if you align yourself with the vitriol directed at innocent men. I support people who treat others well. I don’t view all women as a monolith and am asking for the same in return. Are you implying that I can’t be taking care of the house while posting on DCUM? Did you ever say that to a woman on here?

Supporting your wife supports…yourself and your wife. It has no impact on the patriarchy or the experience of any other woman. It’s the same way having one Black friend does not fight racism. Being disliked by toxic men doesn’t mean you yourself aren’t one.

How are you being treated like a criminal? Because women here say they’d feel unsafe by an unidentified man standing back from the field taking telephoto shots of their kids at their soccer games?

My wife being able to rise to director level and beyond in a male dominated industry very much does have an impact on the patriarchy. Far more of an effect than treating innocent men like criminals. Sorry that you can’t see that.

As for being treated like a criminal there are more than a few posts back there recommending to call the cops on a father taking photos at a his kids sports game. Usually when people call the cops on you that qualifies as being treated like a criminal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
How are you being treated like a criminal? Because women here say they’d feel unsafe by an unidentified man standing back from the field taking telephoto shots of their kids at their soccer games?

How do you know what the man is shooting?

You haven’t explained how that makes you feel unsafe! You haven’t explained how you’d feel about a woman doing the same thing. You have also failed to equate photos to SA.

More giant leaps of conjecture and zero substance.

Because the OP said he was.

I would feel unsafe because sexual predators have been arrested taking long lens photos of children on school and other public grounds and I don’t want my child being photographed by a pedophile for their gratification.

And, PP, just to make it extra clear, the sexual predators in my neighborhood/zip code who are on the watch list for sexual abuse against children are male. That is why I would feel differently if a woman was doing it. If there was a neighborhood sexual predator who was female and a woman matching her description was taking telephoto shots of my child, I would feel uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh and please explain how I’m supposed to “convince other men to stop raping, assaulting, and murdering at such alarming rates“?

I really want to do this. What should be the first step? Where can I find some criminals to chat with?

A good first step is not posting online about your hurt feelings to people who are worried about their physical safety and that of their children.

A good second step would be to get trained by or volunteer with a group like this:

https://www.acalltomen.org/

You might even find quite a lot of support for involved male parenting in such a group if you are willing to shift your focus to the behavior of men and not their perceived victimization.

The problem is that I have always been a sensitive man that has opposed toxic masculinity and fought for women. What could be more challenging to the patriarchy than being a SAHD while my wife builds her career? The men you are treating like shit are already in your corner. Focus your hate on something real. Men taking photos at sports games are not the problem and no I will not allow you to malign me for things I have no control over. I will not just keep quiet while you treat me like a sick criminal. Wouldn’t it be far more productive if you could join up with SAHDs to fight a shared enemy rather than treat me like one of the bad people? Nobody wants to be labeled with a group identity that they don't identify with. I thought a woman would understand that.

So, you didn’t actually want steps about how to convince other men. You weren’t looking for steps and suggestions. You just wanted to be told you’re amazing.

You’re not amazing. You’re not an ally. You are making women feel unsafe (which is why they’re moving away from you and taking their purses) and you want to be told you’re a victim.

I don’t have power over other men. Jesus christ you’re being such a jerk. I also am not responsible for what people think in their own mind so no I don’t “make women feel unsafe” just some of you that hate men. I spend my entire day with SAHMs and they don’t treat me like a criminal. It’s a you thing.

You asked for how you could convince other men, said you really wanted to do that, and then when given concrete suggestions for ways to do so with organizations who even focus on things like involved fatherhood— you reverted back to your victimhood.

You said women get up and take their purses and move away from you at the mall. Do you think they do that because they think they’re safe in your presence?

I think you may have some of us confused. I am not the only one responding.

I am literally not even in contact with other men. I take care of the kids and household. That takes 110% of my time. That is my contribution. I advocate against toxic masculinity every time I witness it. I don’t have to jump through your prescribed hoops just to want to be treated as an individual and not a violent rapist. Nobody ever deserves to be judged as a member of a group they want to be judged on their individual character.

Are you not reverting back to your own victimhood with every example you post? Hypocritical. Sorry I don't like being teated like a criminal any more than women want to be treated like a subservient housewife. I’m whining I guess. Oh well.

Then why did you ask for suggestions how you could convince other men if you had no interest in doing so?

It’s called a rhetorical question. I am not responsible for other men any more than you are responsible for bad women.

I do what I can but nothing allows me to stop bad men from being bad. I fight against bad men when I encounter them but even that has never changed any of their minds. I have been assaulted myself by bad men. How do you imagine SAHDs get treated by the toxic men? You think I would just let that happen if there was something that I could do about it? You think they actually listen to a man who takes care of babies all day? Please see what you are saying.

Many men are total aholes. The whole concept of masculinity is flawed. All I am asking is to not be treated like one of them when I am the complete opposite and actually working against the patriarchy by supporting my wife who works.

You would benefit from reading some of the linked material. Supporting your wife’s career doesn’t mean you’re fighting the patriarchy, particularly if you’re also hurling accusations of man hating and damage and ugliness and other gender based abuse at women on the internet while you’re home spending “110%” of your time on your kids and household. And if you’re not the OP, how are you being “treated like a criminal” unless that’s how you feel about being disagreed with by those you claim to support.

Supporting my wife certainly does fight the patriarchy. You can imagine what those men think of me. I am not hurling gender based insults. Have you missed the last dozen pages trying to justify treating all men like violent criminals? Talk about gender based insults! I am not the OP and I have a horse in this race because this thread has been really eye opening about how some women must be thinking about my mere existence. I also do not support you if you align yourself with the vitriol directed at innocent men. I support people who treat others well. I don’t view all women as a monolith and am asking for the same in return. Are you implying that I can’t be taking care of the house while posting on DCUM? Did you ever say that to a woman on here?

Supporting your wife supports…yourself and your wife. It has no impact on the patriarchy or the experience of any other woman. It’s the same way having one Black friend does not fight racism. Being disliked by toxic men doesn’t mean you yourself aren’t one.

How are you being treated like a criminal? Because women here say they’d feel unsafe by an unidentified man standing back from the field taking telephoto shots of their kids at their soccer games?

My wife being able to rise to director level and beyond in a male dominated industry very much does have an impact on the patriarchy. Far more of an effect than treating innocent men like criminals. Sorry that you can’t see that.

As for being treated like a criminal there are more than a few posts back there recommending to call the cops on a father taking photos at a his kids sports game. Usually when people call the cops on you that qualifies as being treated like a criminal.

No one has called the cops on you. So you’re not being treated like a criminal. You’re just trying to invalidate the experiences of women on the internet. What an ally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
How are you being treated like a criminal? Because women here say they’d feel unsafe by an unidentified man standing back from the field taking telephoto shots of their kids at their soccer games?

How do you know what the man is shooting?

You haven’t explained how that makes you feel unsafe! You haven’t explained how you’d feel about a woman doing the same thing. You have also failed to equate photos to SA.

More giant leaps of conjecture and zero substance.

Because the OP said he was.

I would feel unsafe because sexual predators have been arrested taking long lens photos of children on school and other public grounds and I don’t want my child being photographed by a pedophile for their gratification.

Sexual predators taking photos of random kids is exceedingly rare. Far more rare than the frequency of women abusing children. Are you aware that most abuse happens at the hands of someone close to the family and not random strangers? You are not being rational.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh and please explain how I’m supposed to “convince other men to stop raping, assaulting, and murdering at such alarming rates“?

I really want to do this. What should be the first step? Where can I find some criminals to chat with?

A good first step is not posting online about your hurt feelings to people who are worried about their physical safety and that of their children.

A good second step would be to get trained by or volunteer with a group like this:

https://www.acalltomen.org/

You might even find quite a lot of support for involved male parenting in such a group if you are willing to shift your focus to the behavior of men and not their perceived victimization.

The problem is that I have always been a sensitive man that has opposed toxic masculinity and fought for women. What could be more challenging to the patriarchy than being a SAHD while my wife builds her career? The men you are treating like shit are already in your corner. Focus your hate on something real. Men taking photos at sports games are not the problem and no I will not allow you to malign me for things I have no control over. I will not just keep quiet while you treat me like a sick criminal. Wouldn’t it be far more productive if you could join up with SAHDs to fight a shared enemy rather than treat me like one of the bad people? Nobody wants to be labeled with a group identity that they don't identify with. I thought a woman would understand that.

So, you didn’t actually want steps about how to convince other men. You weren’t looking for steps and suggestions. You just wanted to be told you’re amazing.

You’re not amazing. You’re not an ally. You are making women feel unsafe (which is why they’re moving away from you and taking their purses) and you want to be told you’re a victim.

I don’t have power over other men. Jesus christ you’re being such a jerk. I also am not responsible for what people think in their own mind so no I don’t “make women feel unsafe” just some of you that hate men. I spend my entire day with SAHMs and they don’t treat me like a criminal. It’s a you thing.

You asked for how you could convince other men, said you really wanted to do that, and then when given concrete suggestions for ways to do so with organizations who even focus on things like involved fatherhood— you reverted back to your victimhood.

You said women get up and take their purses and move away from you at the mall. Do you think they do that because they think they’re safe in your presence?

I think you may have some of us confused. I am not the only one responding.

I am literally not even in contact with other men. I take care of the kids and household. That takes 110% of my time. That is my contribution. I advocate against toxic masculinity every time I witness it. I don’t have to jump through your prescribed hoops just to want to be treated as an individual and not a violent rapist. Nobody ever deserves to be judged as a member of a group they want to be judged on their individual character.

Are you not reverting back to your own victimhood with every example you post? Hypocritical. Sorry I don't like being teated like a criminal any more than women want to be treated like a subservient housewife. I’m whining I guess. Oh well.

Then why did you ask for suggestions how you could convince other men if you had no interest in doing so?

It’s called a rhetorical question. I am not responsible for other men any more than you are responsible for bad women.

I do what I can but nothing allows me to stop bad men from being bad. I fight against bad men when I encounter them but even that has never changed any of their minds. I have been assaulted myself by bad men. How do you imagine SAHDs get treated by the toxic men? You think I would just let that happen if there was something that I could do about it? You think they actually listen to a man who takes care of babies all day? Please see what you are saying.

Many men are total aholes. The whole concept of masculinity is flawed. All I am asking is to not be treated like one of them when I am the complete opposite and actually working against the patriarchy by supporting my wife who works.

You would benefit from reading some of the linked material. Supporting your wife’s career doesn’t mean you’re fighting the patriarchy, particularly if you’re also hurling accusations of man hating and damage and ugliness and other gender based abuse at women on the internet while you’re home spending “110%” of your time on your kids and household. And if you’re not the OP, how are you being “treated like a criminal” unless that’s how you feel about being disagreed with by those you claim to support.

Supporting my wife certainly does fight the patriarchy. You can imagine what those men think of me. I am not hurling gender based insults. Have you missed the last dozen pages trying to justify treating all men like violent criminals? Talk about gender based insults! I am not the OP and I have a horse in this race because this thread has been really eye opening about how some women must be thinking about my mere existence. I also do not support you if you align yourself with the vitriol directed at innocent men. I support people who treat others well. I don’t view all women as a monolith and am asking for the same in return. Are you implying that I can’t be taking care of the house while posting on DCUM? Did you ever say that to a woman on here?

Supporting your wife supports…yourself and your wife. It has no impact on the patriarchy or the experience of any other woman. It’s the same way having one Black friend does not fight racism. Being disliked by toxic men doesn’t mean you yourself aren’t one.

How are you being treated like a criminal? Because women here say they’d feel unsafe by an unidentified man standing back from the field taking telephoto shots of their kids at their soccer games?

My wife being able to rise to director level and beyond in a male dominated industry very much does have an impact on the patriarchy. Far more of an effect than treating innocent men like criminals. Sorry that you can’t see that.

As for being treated like a criminal there are more than a few posts back there recommending to call the cops on a father taking photos at a his kids sports game. Usually when people call the cops on you that qualifies as being treated like a criminal.

No one has called the cops on you. So you’re not being treated like a criminal. You’re just trying to invalidate the experiences of women on the internet. What an ally.

Do I really need to quote the multiple posts recommending to call the cops? Do people usually recommend calling the cops on people who they are not accusing of being criminal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
How are you being treated like a criminal? Because women here say they’d feel unsafe by an unidentified man standing back from the field taking telephoto shots of their kids at their soccer games?

How do you know what the man is shooting?

You haven’t explained how that makes you feel unsafe! You haven’t explained how you’d feel about a woman doing the same thing. You have also failed to equate photos to SA.

More giant leaps of conjecture and zero substance.

Because the OP said he was.

I would feel unsafe because sexual predators have been arrested taking long lens photos of children on school and other public grounds and I don’t want my child being photographed by a pedophile for their gratification.

And you have yet to explain how a photographer can take pictures of a team sport without taking pictures of other kids. Again doing so in Public is not against the law. This is not some random person taking pictures at a public park or swim meet or a soccer game.

You’re just a sexist admit it.

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Anonymous wrote:Oh and please explain how I’m supposed to “convince other men to stop raping, assaulting, and murdering at such alarming rates“?

I really want to do this. What should be the first step? Where can I find some criminals to chat with?

A good first step is not posting online about your hurt feelings to people who are worried about their physical safety and that of their children.

A good second step would be to get trained by or volunteer with a group like this:

https://www.acalltomen.org/

You might even find quite a lot of support for involved male parenting in such a group if you are willing to shift your focus to the behavior of men and not their perceived victimization.

The problem is that I have always been a sensitive man that has opposed toxic masculinity and fought for women. What could be more challenging to the patriarchy than being a SAHD while my wife builds her career? The men you are treating like shit are already in your corner. Focus your hate on something real. Men taking photos at sports games are not the problem and no I will not allow you to malign me for things I have no control over. I will not just keep quiet while you treat me like a sick criminal. Wouldn’t it be far more productive if you could join up with SAHDs to fight a shared enemy rather than treat me like one of the bad people? Nobody wants to be labeled with a group identity that they don't identify with. I thought a woman would understand that.

So, you didn’t actually want steps about how to convince other men. You weren’t looking for steps and suggestions. You just wanted to be told you’re amazing.

You’re not amazing. You’re not an ally. You are making women feel unsafe (which is why they’re moving away from you and taking their purses) and you want to be told you’re a victim.

I don’t have power over other men. Jesus christ you’re being such a jerk. I also am not responsible for what people think in their own mind so no I don’t “make women feel unsafe” just some of you that hate men. I spend my entire day with SAHMs and they don’t treat me like a criminal. It’s a you thing.

You asked for how you could convince other men, said you really wanted to do that, and then when given concrete suggestions for ways to do so with organizations who even focus on things like involved fatherhood— you reverted back to your victimhood.

You said women get up and take their purses and move away from you at the mall. Do you think they do that because they think they’re safe in your presence?

I think you may have some of us confused. I am not the only one responding.

I am literally not even in contact with other men. I take care of the kids and household. That takes 110% of my time. That is my contribution. I advocate against toxic masculinity every time I witness it. I don’t have to jump through your prescribed hoops just to want to be treated as an individual and not a violent rapist. Nobody ever deserves to be judged as a member of a group they want to be judged on their individual character.

Are you not reverting back to your own victimhood with every example you post? Hypocritical. Sorry I don't like being teated like a criminal any more than women want to be treated like a subservient housewife. I’m whining I guess. Oh well.

Then why did you ask for suggestions how you could convince other men if you had no interest in doing so?

It’s called a rhetorical question. I am not responsible for other men any more than you are responsible for bad women.

I do what I can but nothing allows me to stop bad men from being bad. I fight against bad men when I encounter them but even that has never changed any of their minds. I have been assaulted myself by bad men. How do you imagine SAHDs get treated by the toxic men? You think I would just let that happen if there was something that I could do about it? You think they actually listen to a man who takes care of babies all day? Please see what you are saying.

Many men are total aholes. The whole concept of masculinity is flawed. All I am asking is to not be treated like one of them when I am the complete opposite and actually working against the patriarchy by supporting my wife who works.

You would benefit from reading some of the linked material. Supporting your wife’s career doesn’t mean you’re fighting the patriarchy, particularly if you’re also hurling accusations of man hating and damage and ugliness and other gender based abuse at women on the internet while you’re home spending “110%” of your time on your kids and household. And if you’re not the OP, how are you being “treated like a criminal” unless that’s how you feel about being disagreed with by those you claim to support.

Supporting my wife certainly does fight the patriarchy. You can imagine what those men think of me. I am not hurling gender based insults. Have you missed the last dozen pages trying to justify treating all men like violent criminals? Talk about gender based insults! I am not the OP and I have a horse in this race because this thread has been really eye opening about how some women must be thinking about my mere existence. I also do not support you if you align yourself with the vitriol directed at innocent men. I support people who treat others well. I don’t view all women as a monolith and am asking for the same in return. Are you implying that I can’t be taking care of the house while posting on DCUM? Did you ever say that to a woman on here?

Supporting your wife supports…yourself and your wife. It has no impact on the patriarchy or the experience of any other woman. It’s the same way having one Black friend does not fight racism. Being disliked by toxic men doesn’t mean you yourself aren’t one.

How are you being treated like a criminal? Because women here say they’d feel unsafe by an unidentified man standing back from the field taking telephoto shots of their kids at their soccer games?

My wife being able to rise to director level and beyond in a male dominated industry very much does have an impact on the patriarchy. Far more of an effect than treating innocent men like criminals. Sorry that you can’t see that.

As for being treated like a criminal there are more than a few posts back there recommending to call the cops on a father taking photos at a his kids sports game. Usually when people call the cops on you that qualifies as being treated like a criminal.

No one has called the cops on you. So you’re not being treated like a criminal. You’re just trying to invalidate the experiences of women on the internet. What an ally.

Do I really need to quote the multiple posts recommending to call the cops? Do people usually recommend calling the cops on people who they are not accusing of being criminal?

Have they called the cops on you personally? No? Then no one is treating you like a criminal. Telling you that they don’t agree with you or they would call the police on someone who was photographing their children is not treating you like a criminal. You are neither a victim nor an ally.

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How are you being treated like a criminal? Because women here say they’d feel unsafe by an unidentified man standing back from the field taking telephoto shots of their kids at their soccer games?

How do you know what the man is shooting?

You haven’t explained how that makes you feel unsafe! You haven’t explained how you’d feel about a woman doing the same thing. You have also failed to equate photos to SA.

More giant leaps of conjecture and zero substance.

Because the OP said he was.

I would feel unsafe because sexual predators have been arrested taking long lens photos of children on school and other public grounds and I don’t want my child being photographed by a pedophile for their gratification.

And you have yet to explain how a photographer can take pictures of a team sport without taking pictures of other kids. Again doing so in Public is not against the law. This is not some random person taking pictures at a public park or swim meet or a soccer game.

You’re just a sexist admit it.

It is in fact some random person taking picture at a public park or swim meet. Because the opposing team has no idea who he is— therefor he is A Random Person taking photos at a swim meet or school.

If he cannot zoom in to only photograph his own child, he can decide that his photographs are less important than the people in his community feeling safe and rely on the team or school photographer. He can ask the coach to check with the opposing team before a match to ask if everyone is ok with him photographing. He is choosing to do none of those things and so yes, it is likely someone will call the police to check out the random man taking photos of children.