SAHDs are not lepers

[Anonymous]

The complaining makes you seem creepy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

Swim meet, regular dslr only took pics of MY kid no one else’s. Women with DSLR camera were never approached.

Soccer, followed the ball but mostly my kid. Shared pics with other parents in our own private FB group. Other moms and dads would approach our side and me and ask why I was roaming around the side of the field to take pics yes with a telephoto lens. Never once did I see this happen to women with a telephoto lens. And yes if you want better action Pictures, you move around the field with the sun at your back or behind the side of the goal to catch a shot or goal.

Women would grab their purse and move away or side eye me when at the park watching my toddler play. Frankly they did the same with other dads and granddads. Never once did I see this happen with women. Nothing creepy at all, no lurking about in the shadows.

It must be the way you look. I can’t imagine anyone grabbing their purse if Dh went to the playground with our kids. He goes to sports games all the time but he is not the type to take pictures. I often ask him for a picture and he tells me he took none.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a SAHD. I can’t tell you the number of times I was treated as suspect at the mall play area or the playground.

I was told I couldn’t photograph swim meets for mom when no female I saw taking pictures was asked to put the camera or phone away.

Sitting away from the soccer pitch with a long telephoto was seen as suspect. (I never wanted the kid watching me and not the game).

We are not lepers; we just have a reverse of the “normal” life.

Bro, either you’re a pedo or you have some weird getoff on “pretending” to be one and then standing your ground and making space for pedos. Either way, it’s creepy and that’s your goal. So what next?

[Anonymous]

This has nothing to do with your working status.

I have a friend with two daughters. The dad looks a bit overeager. He wants to attend all the kid stuff and takes a lot of pictures. I can’t explain it but he gives off a kind of horny perverted vibe. I would never tell them this in real life. My friend is the SAHM and the husband works and is the breadwinner. If I didn’t know them, I wouldn’t want him taking pictures of my daughter at a swim meet.

[Anonymous]

If I saw someone looking at kids through a telephoto lens I’d think they were a pervert and act accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

Swim meet, regular dslr only took pics of MY kid no one else’s. Women with DSLR camera were never approached.

Soccer, followed the ball but mostly my kid. Shared pics with other parents in our own private FB group. Other moms and dads would approach our side and me and ask why I was roaming around the side of the field to take pics yes with a telephoto lens. Never once did I see this happen to women with a telephoto lens. And yes if you want better action Pictures, you move around the field with the sun at your back or behind the side of the goal to catch a shot or goal.

Women would grab their purse and move away or side eye me when at the park watching my toddler play. Frankly they did the same with other dads and granddads. Never once did I see this happen with women. Nothing creepy at all, no lurking about in the shadows.

Have all of the parents given you the okay to be the team photographer and take photos of their kids and post them online? It really annoys me when people post photos of my kids online without my permission. And yes, “private Facebook group” is posting online. Maybe they’ve heard/seen that you publish the photos and that’s what they have a problem with. I know that if they complained to Facebook that they are the parent of one of the kids and have not given permission then you’d need to take down those photos. Do you realize that?

[Anonymous]

You seem creepy. It’s not dads, it’s you specifically.

[Anonymous]

It's you, bro.

I've been doing this SAHM thing for 8 years. Seen plenty of Das out and about. A very seldom few have set off my creep meter and yes I act accordingly.

Knock it off with the stupid soccer photos, no one wants that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has nothing to do with your working status.

I have a friend with two daughters. The dad looks a bit overeager. He wants to attend all the kid stuff and takes a lot of pictures. I can’t explain it but he gives off a kind of horny perverted vibe. I would never tell them this in real life. My friend is the SAHM and the husband works and is the breadwinner. If I didn’t know them, I wouldn’t want him taking pictures of my daughter at a swim meet.

I think it's person specific too.

I am friendly to all but my kid's friend had a dad as their main contact for school stuff. He started favorably commenting on my appearance beyond what's appropriate and I had to avoid him completely after. He puts off that vibe mentioned by pp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

Swim meet, regular dslr only took pics of MY kid no one else’s. Women with DSLR camera were never approached.

Soccer, followed the ball but mostly my kid. Shared pics with other parents in our own private FB group. Other moms and dads would approach our side and me and ask why I was roaming around the side of the field to take pics yes with a telephoto lens. Never once did I see this happen to women with a telephoto lens. And yes if you want better action Pictures, you move around the field with the sun at your back or behind the side of the goal to catch a shot or goal.

Women would grab their purse and move away or side eye me when at the park watching my toddler play. Frankly they did the same with other dads and granddads. Never once did I see this happen with women. Nothing creepy at all, no lurking about in the shadows.

I never see people standing at distance from a soccer field with a telephoto lens. If I did, I would think it was creepy regardless of gender. WhY are you acting like everyone does what you are doing?

[Anonymous]

I get along great with the local dads at our playground (no SAHDs that I know of but plenty of dads who are the "default parent" as DCUM would say, and do more of the pickups/dropoffs than Mom). They are often less petty and uptight than the moms. And fwiw I have plenty of wonderful mom friends, I'm not a "cool girl" who dislikes women...but no dad has ever given me snark for only breastfeeding 2 months.

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of trolls on this thread. Particularly the one who keeps using "bro."

[Anonymous]

Sorry that men commit SA all the time and we have to be vigilant. What a pity that this affects your ability to not work.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think the telephoto lens is necessarily weird unless it’s paparazzi length or something. But a larger lens for a DSLR isn’t unusual because it can be hard to get good photos of sports. And presumably the parents on your kid’s team are used to seeing you so are these parents from the other team approaching you? If it’s the parents on your own team, something else is going on.

Look, SAHDs are not widely accepted in certain areas, which is sad. There are many reasons why—all antiquated and rooted in traditional gender roles—and there will always be people who look down on you. You can’t change that. Just keep providing for your family and find the people who don’t care about this nonsense. They are out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

Swim meet, regular dslr only took pics of MY kid no one else’s. Women with DSLR camera were never approached.

Soccer, followed the ball but mostly my kid. Shared pics with other parents in our own private FB group. Other moms and dads would approach our side and me and ask why I was roaming around the side of the field to take pics yes with a telephoto lens. Never once did I see this happen to women with a telephoto lens. And yes if you want better action Pictures, you move around the field with the sun at your back or behind the side of the goal to catch a shot or goal.

Women would grab their purse and move away or side eye me when at the park watching my toddler play. Frankly they did the same with other dads and granddads. Never once did I see this happen with women. Nothing creepy at all, no lurking about in the shadows.

I’m sorry this is happening to you. That is very strange. Several dads take pictures at my kids, soccer club and I don’t think anybody bats an eye. Most people know what a telephoto lens is for. And I can’t speak for other people, but I don’t think it’s strange to see her dad at the park with their kids.

Please take what I’m asking you kindly are you shifty or are you constantly looking around and other people which might make you look suspicious?