SAHDs are not lepers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry that men commit SA all the time and we have to be vigilant. What a pity that this affects your ability to not work.

What is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

The telephoto lens is creepy. Maybe you’re treated strangely because you’re acting strangely, not because you’re a SAHD.

Btw, it’s common courtesy to not take photos of anyone except your own kids, especially at things like swim meets. If other kids happen to be in the photo that’s okay, but if you’re taking pics of other kids and clearly not just of your own kid then that’s another thing people (including me) will think is weird and creepy.


I would absolutely think you were creepy and not like it if some guy was taking pictures of my kids at a swim meet. I barely know anyone there so I would not think or care about someone’s working status.

Do you people just pull things out of thin air?? OP said nothing about taking photos of any kids but his own!

[Anonymous]

All the PPs who object yo a telephoto lens are just bizarre. My DS and DD both played on teams where a dad served as photographer and sent albums to the team after games. Both used telephoto lenses and one even had two! We appreciated the photos and it never occurred to any parent on the team that the photographers were anything but nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The telephoto lens is creepy. Maybe you’re treated strangely because you’re acting strangely, not because you’re a SAHD.

Btw, it’s common courtesy to not take photos of anyone except your own kids, especially at things like swim meets. If other kids happen to be in the photo that’s okay, but if you’re taking pics of other kids and clearly not just of your own kid then that’s another thing people (including me) will think is weird and creepy.


I would absolutely think you were creepy and not like it if some guy was taking pictures of my kids at a swim meet. I barely know anyone there so I would not think or care about someone’s working status.

Do you people just pull things out of thin air?? OP said nothing about taking photos of any kids but his own!

If he is being very careful to only take photos of his own kid, and making sure that’s obvious to everyone else (putting down the camera when his own kid is at the other side of the pool or not in the pool or at the other side of the field) then I don’t believe that people would have such a problem.

But anyway, OP did actually say that he deliberately takes photos of other kids, you just didn’t bother reading it. He said he “follows the ball” with his camera. That means other kids.

And how many photos do you need?? I’d be annoyed if you took photos of my kid. OP said that he likes to put photos on Facebook. That’s not appropriate, he needs explicit parental consent for every kid in every photo to do that.

[Anonymous]

OP said he was standing far away and using a telephoto lens. That is weird. The team photogs on my kids’ teams were always friendly people that everyone knew. We all appreciated the photos of our kids. If OP is standing far away, how does anyone know he’s a parent? That is creepy.

As for the swim meet, have you asked the team rep if it’s ok for you to take pictures? They might really appreciate having an official photographer. Or are you getting in the coaches and clerks way on deck? That would be annoying.

I’m not saying you’re wrong, perhaps you fell into a cohort of parents that are unfairly stigmatizing SAHDs. But maybe you have some behaviors that are coming off clueless and odd and that raises some eyebrows.

[Anonymous]

You seem very attention starved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has nothing to do with your working status.

I have a friend with two daughters. The dad looks a bit overeager. He wants to attend all the kid stuff and takes a lot of pictures. I can’t explain it but he gives off a kind of horny perverted vibe. I would never tell them this in real life. My friend is the SAHM and the husband works and is the breadwinner. If I didn’t know them, I wouldn’t want him taking pictures of my daughter at a swim meet.

I think it's person specific too.

I am friendly to all but my kid's friend had a dad as their main contact for school stuff. He started favorably commenting on my appearance beyond what's appropriate and I had to avoid him completely after. He puts off that vibe mentioned by pp.

Some men definitely give off a creepy vibe. It can just be the way they look or their facial expressions.

DH gives off a “I don’t want to be here” vibe, which I don’t like either but I guess it is better than a perverted creepy vibe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has nothing to do with your working status.

I have a friend with two daughters. The dad looks a bit overeager. He wants to attend all the kid stuff and takes a lot of pictures. I can’t explain it but he gives off a kind of horny perverted vibe. I would never tell them this in real life. My friend is the SAHM and the husband works and is the breadwinner. If I didn’t know them, I wouldn’t want him taking pictures of my daughter at a swim meet.

I think it's person specific too.

I am friendly to all but my kid's friend had a dad as their main contact for school stuff. He started favorably commenting on my appearance beyond what's appropriate and I had to avoid him completely after. He puts off that vibe mentioned by pp.

Some men definitely give off a creepy vibe. It can just be the way they look or their facial expressions.

DH gives off a “I don’t want to be here” vibe, which I don’t like either but I guess it is better than a perverted creepy vibe.

+1 that isn't the most approachable vibe but it's so much better than the alternative! I will take that over the guy commenting on women's bodies.

[Anonymous]

The telephoto lens is creepy. And I don’t love moms or dads taking photos at my child’s swim lessons. I would have no way of knowing if the dads stay at home or not, of course. They are just dads at swim, not “stay at home dads.” But yeah, don’t video my kid in a swimsuit, please. Our pool actually has a policy discouraging it.

[Anonymous]

For those of you objecting to the telephoto lens, do you even know anything about photography? A telephoto lens isn’t always a long-range lens. It might just look like an ordinary DSLR lens. Maybe the OP likes photography. You can get amazing action shots with a nice camera.

If I saw a dad on the sidelines using a nice camera with a nice lens, I would assume he’s a photography buff. I find it really odd that some of you think automatically think he’s creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those of you objecting to the telephoto lens, do you even know anything about photography? A telephoto lens isn’t always a long-range lens. It might just look like an ordinary DSLR lens. Maybe the OP likes photography. You can get amazing action shots with a nice camera.

If I saw a dad on the sidelines using a nice camera with a nice lens, I would assume he’s a photography buff. I find it really odd that some of you think automatically think he’s creepy.

I’ve seen so many kids at sports being “coached” by their parent instead of the actual coach or looking at their parent instead of their coach or other players. I totally get watching from a distance especially after a certain age.

These people against a male photographer with a telephoto lens wouldn’t cast an eye at a female doing the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Stop doing creepy things things and nobody will have an issue with you.

[Anonymous]

I would often go on playdates with the father of my daughter’s teammate and it did feel awkward because we had stares like we were cheating on our spouses or something. It’s awkward to develop platonic friendships to maintain the playdates when he has a wife that I don’t know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop doing creepy things things and nobody will have an issue with you.

Yeah I have nothing against SAHDs but the fact that OP has gotten so many actual complaints suggests that maybe he should modify his behavior regardless of whether or not he is a safety threat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of trolls on this thread. Particularly the one who keeps using "bro."

I was the first “bro” PP (not the second) and there’s no trolling here other than OP.

Any rationale adult knows exactly why his entire post is creepy. OP obviously knows this also. He’s trying to get a rise out of people and then have the opportunity to argue “hey this is all innocent!”

So either he’s an actual creep (which I think is unlikely). He’s just a loser who likes “debating” on a message board. Or (most likely in my view) he has some fascination or interest in the “idea” of doing creepy/pedo stuff, and like trying to normalize this behavior or justify it in his own head. Whichever of the above, I frankly don’t care. And yes if I saw him pulling any of this crap at a playground or game involving my DCs there would be an issue.