Are you starting to resent your elderly parent being alive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she has low income she can go into a nursing home on long term care medicaid.

He said she had no ailments. You can’t just drop your unwanted mother off in a nursing home. She has to medically qualify.

Being 92, there is probably qualifying factors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What? No.

Even if my parents live beyond their ability to fully live, I won't resent them for it.

NP here

Well, circle back after you've had a 90 year old living with you for more than two weeks.

If you know, you know.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Hell no. What kind of ingrate are you, op?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of replies from people who do not live with their parents here! My mom lives with us, she's not that old yet, and I could see it getting to this stage. When she moved in my husband told her "you have a place to live for the rest of your life" and I was like ?!!!?!?!!?!?!

She gets a pension and still has her own home that she rents out, so if she ever needs more supported care we can sell the house to get her into a home. But sometimes it's very annoying to have her underfoot and I think people who are calling OP ugly names need to realize it's easier to love a person from a distance. My mom didn't annoy me at all when she lived 7 states away!

What a lovely DH you have!

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you have depression OP, and are perhaps resentful that she’s healthier than you. Take some time to work on yourself. Go do something fun with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love my mother but I never thought she would live this long, now 92 and going healthy strong. She lives with us and is easy going and helpful but my spouse and I are older- mid 60’s. Unlike her, we have ailments.

She can’t afford a nursing home, we can’t afford to pay one for her, my sibling can’t be counted on. I am starting to hate her, I feel awful. I’m at least glad to vent my feelings out here. thanks.

I wish there was an end date where you die in your sleep at 85.

Wait, what? Why would you want her gone when she can take care of you? She’s in better health than you.

[Anonymous]

No, I could never hate my parents. I don't care how burdensome or difficult caregiving becomes. And I've already been through it with one of my parents. It was probably the most stressful time in my life.

[Anonymous]

Seems like most people commenting have no idea how hard it is to be a constant caregiver. I do think it's a challenge for caregivers that medications are allowing many people to live to very old age

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of replies from people who do not live with their parents here! My mom lives with us, she's not that old yet, and I could see it getting to this stage. When she moved in my husband told her "you have a place to live for the rest of your life" and I was like ?!!!?!?!!?!?!

She gets a pension and still has her own home that she rents out, so if she ever needs more supported care we can sell the house to get her into a home. But sometimes it's very annoying to have her underfoot and I think people who are calling OP ugly names need to realize it's easier to love a person from a distance. My mom didn't annoy me at all when she lived 7 states away!

You’re crazy. My mom lives with us. She’s a godsend. She cooks, cleans, does the laundry, helps the kids with homework, etc. Without her I’d have to outsource all that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems like most people commenting have no idea how hard it is to be a constant caregiver. I do think it's a challenge for caregivers that medications are allowing many people to live to very old age

Except in OP’s situation, the mom is the caregiver because she’s healthier than OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems like most people commenting have no idea how hard it is to be a constant caregiver. I do think it's a challenge for caregivers that medications are allowing many people to live to very old age

Except in OP’s situation, the mom is the caregiver because she’s healthier than OP.

+1. That’s what’s being misunderstood here. OP is resenting that her mom is in better health than she is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of replies from people who do not live with their parents here! My mom lives with us, she's not that old yet, and I could see it getting to this stage. When she moved in my husband told her "you have a place to live for the rest of your life" and I was like ?!!!?!?!!?!?!

She gets a pension and still has her own home that she rents out, so if she ever needs more supported care we can sell the house to get her into a home. But sometimes it's very annoying to have her underfoot and I think people who are calling OP ugly names need to realize it's easier to love a person from a distance. My mom didn't annoy me at all when she lived 7 states away!

You’re crazy. My mom lives with us. She’s a godsend. She cooks, cleans, does the laundry, helps the kids with homework, etc. Without her I’d have to outsource all that.

Yeah, but if she stops pulling her weight, you are pulling the plug, right?

[Anonymous]

yes boomers are selfish

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:yes boomers are selfish

You must mean OP, because a 92 year old isn’t a Boomer.

[Anonymous]

So she will most likely be taking care of you in your 70s. Should be nice to her, she will pick your nursing home.