Are you starting to resent your elderly parent being alive?

[Anonymous]

I love my mother but I never thought she would live this long, now 92 and going healthy strong. She lives with us and is easy going and helpful but my spouse and I are older- mid 60’s. Unlike her, we have ailments.

She can’t afford a nursing home, we can’t afford to pay one for her, my sibling can’t be counted on. I am starting to hate her, I feel awful. I’m at least glad to vent my feelings out here. thanks.

I wish there was an end date where you die in your sleep at 85.

[Anonymous]

Nope!

[Anonymous]

No, I’m glad they are. Both reasonably healthy. I’m estranged from mom and low contact w dad so it doesn’t affect me.
I won’t pay for anything due to their continued abuse so I just don’t care.

[Anonymous]

If she has low income she can go into a nursing home on long term care medicaid.

[Anonymous]

Does she qualify for government assistance? Is a government paid nursing home an option?

[Anonymous]

Eesh.

[Anonymous]

If she is easy going, healthy and helpful, what do you resent?

[Anonymous]

What? No.

Even if my parents live beyond their ability to fully live, I won't resent them for it.

[Anonymous]

OP, I completely understand how living with someone is harder than not living with someone, but from your post it's difficult to understand exactly what the issue is. Is it possible that life is just harder with your ailments and you are displacing that frustration onto her?

It could be helpful to figure out what exactly is hard - chores? no vacations? poor sleep? - and address that so you can get a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she has low income she can go into a nursing home on long term care medicaid.

He said she had no ailments. You can’t just drop your unwanted mother off in a nursing home. She has to medically qualify.

[Anonymous]

wow. You are so incredibly selfish and heartless.

[Anonymous]

What is with the threads recently of people sad they still have parents.

[Anonymous]

Yes. There is little quality of life, and I’ve had to quit my job to care for them. It’s hard.

[Anonymous]

Your kids might think the same about you someday. Be careful what you wish for. Karma is real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love my mother but I never thought she would live this long, now 92 and going healthy strong. She lives with us and is easy going and helpful but my spouse and I are older- mid 60’s. Unlike her, we have ailments.

She can’t afford a nursing home, we can’t afford to pay one for her, my sibling can’t be counted on. I am starting to hate her, I feel awful. I’m at least glad to vent my feelings out here. thanks.

I wish there was an end date where you die in your sleep at 85.

Let her be. The chance of you and your DH copping it in your sleep at 65 is higher.