When does the chair thrower have to leave school?

[Anonymous]

General question because we deal with a violent child every single year in school between my kids- if my child is hit by another child do I need to go through school? Can I call the cops? Isn’t it assault? If my child ended up in the ICU can I file charges and sue? It’s not the first time the school has seen the kid be violent, they did nothing to protect my child, and I think they’re negligent? And if it’s something lesser like a black eye from a chair thrower- can I still go to the cops?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:General question because we deal with a violent child every single year in school between my kids- if my child is hit by another child do I need to go through school? Can I call the cops? Isn’t it assault? If my child ended up in the ICU can I file charges and sue? It’s not the first time the school has seen the kid be violent, they did nothing to protect my child, and I think they’re negligent? And if it’s something lesser like a black eye from a chair thrower- can I still go to the cops?

You do not need to go through the school. You can and should file a police report.

[Anonymous]

We have a chair thrower as president and a lot of the country is tolerating it. A lot of people didn’t vote for him or didn’t vote, but these convos are often terribly disingenuous.

How can we expect children to behave when there’s a toddler throwing tantrums every day at the White House?

I bet there’s a lot of crossover between people who want to see this boy punished and not work to help him with people who think it’s NBD for Trump to bully and tear down half the country (or class).

We have to decide what are values are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a chair thrower as president and a lot of the country is tolerating it. A lot of people didn’t vote for him or didn’t vote, but these convos are often terribly disingenuous.

How can we expect children to behave when there’s a toddler throwing tantrums every day at the White House?

I bet there’s a lot of crossover between people who want to see this boy punished and not work to help him with people who think it’s NBD for Trump to bully and tear down half the country (or class).

Yea, no. You just won worst take of the thread, which is quite a feat given the anti-“ableist” woke word salad up above.

We have to decide what are values are.

[Anonymous]

I think sometimes parents of really smart and well-behaved kids have difficulty seeing the full picture with respect to a problem child. Is the other child a 5th grader or something more like a 1st grader? Does the other child occasionally have full-on sensory-related fight or flight meltdowns? Is the classroom teacher somewhat inexperienced and not the absolute best at maintaining calm routines and expectations? If the child is younger, this type of behavior can be outgrown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a chair thrower as president and a lot of the country is tolerating it. A lot of people didn’t vote for him or didn’t vote, but these convos are often terribly disingenuous.

How can we expect children to behave when there’s a toddler throwing tantrums every day at the White House?

I bet there’s a lot of crossover between people who want to see this boy punished and not work to help him with people who think it’s NBD for Trump to bully and tear down half the country (or class).

We have to decide what are values are.

This is gibberish. I want kids like this to get help. But when they already have several teachers and staff focused on them to the detriment of every other kid and YET the kid still can’t stop being violent, something needs to change with the kid. They should not be allowed to continue being violent just to see if they can get better when they’ve shown they can’t or won’t.

This is not about the president. Just stop.

[Anonymous]

Ask DCPS. They refuse to provide the kinds of interventions and services needed, even if the parents beg for it. Ask me how I know!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this pop up from time to time and are almost never productive or helpful - just filled with generalizations or hearsay that don't reflect the actual law, policies, or contexts that schools and families are working within. I wish Jeff would do more to moderate or remove them because they are ableist and often inaccurate.

Also, we're talking about a child in your school community who needs support - maybe use that framing instead of "chair thrower." It's not like there are one-size-fits-all spaces in self-contained classrooms or good special ed private schools for every student who would benefit from them.

The only good advice here is what a PP said about documenting and sharing with the teacher/principal factual info about the impact on your own child.

Whenever I see “ableist” used I just know there’s gonna be an uninterrupted streak of nonsense

I see what you think about disabled kids. You are sick.
Even if this child doesn’t have a disability, it’s clear they have trauma and no clear boundaries at home or at school. They need support and it’s clear that school does not know what to do. I was previously a special education teacher who now teachers general education, I have had a student who shattered a glass window by the door, I have had students throw items, and hit. Those students all stopped within a month. One took 2 months because it took me a while to get through to the parents.

In the meantime, I made sure NONE of my students got hurt and learning continued. It was difficult that first month but we got through it. The other students learned empathy and how to advocate for themselves as well.

The ‘chair thrower’ will not be leaving. You better ask the school what plan is in place and ask the teacher if they are actually able to follow the plan. Ask them what they are doing to ensure learning is continuing and how they are ensuring the safety of your child. If they cannot answer these simple questions fully the school isn’t actually doing much but running around like a chicken with its head cut off or seeing a fire and screaming ‘fire!’

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this pop up from time to time and are almost never productive or helpful - just filled with generalizations or hearsay that don't reflect the actual law, policies, or contexts that schools and families are working within. I wish Jeff would do more to moderate or remove them because they are ableist and often inaccurate.

Also, we're talking about a child in your school community who needs support - maybe use that framing instead of "chair thrower." It's not like there are one-size-fits-all spaces in self-contained classrooms or good special ed private schools for every student who would benefit from them.

The only good advice here is what a PP said about documenting and sharing with the teacher/principal factual info about the impact on your own child.

Whenever I see “ableist” used I just know there’s gonna be an uninterrupted streak of nonsense

I see what you think about disabled kids. You are sick.
Even if this child doesn’t have a disability, it’s clear they have trauma and no clear boundaries at home or at school. They need support and it’s clear that school does not know what to do. I was previously a special education teacher who now teachers general education, I have had a student who shattered a glass window by the door, I have had students throw items, and hit. Those students all stopped within a month. One took 2 months because it took me a while to get through to the parents.

In the meantime, I made sure NONE of my students got hurt and learning continued. It was difficult that first month but we got through it. The other students learned empathy and how to advocate for themselves as well.

The ‘chair thrower’ will not be leaving. You better ask the school what plan is in place and ask the teacher if they are actually able to follow the plan. Ask them what they are doing to ensure learning is continuing and how they are ensuring the safety of your child. If they cannot answer these simple questions fully the school isn’t actually doing much but running around like a chicken with its head cut off or seeing a fire and screaming ‘fire!’

Great perspective. In my experience most schools have zero plan and just hope the teacher can manage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this pop up from time to time and are almost never productive or helpful - just filled with generalizations or hearsay that don't reflect the actual law, policies, or contexts that schools and families are working within. I wish Jeff would do more to moderate or remove them because they are ableist and often inaccurate.

Also, we're talking about a child in your school community who needs support - maybe use that framing instead of "chair thrower." It's not like there are one-size-fits-all spaces in self-contained classrooms or good special ed private schools for every student who would benefit from them.

The only good advice here is what a PP said about documenting and sharing with the teacher/principal factual info about the impact on your own child.

Whenever I see “ableist” used I just know there’s gonna be an uninterrupted streak of nonsense

I see what you think about disabled kids. You are sick.
Even if this child doesn’t have a disability, it’s clear they have trauma and no clear boundaries at home or at school. They need support and it’s clear that school does not know what to do. I was previously a special education teacher who now teachers general education, I have had a student who shattered a glass window by the door, I have had students throw items, and hit. Those students all stopped within a month. One took 2 months because it took me a while to get through to the parents.

In the meantime, I made sure NONE of my students got hurt and learning continued. It was difficult that first month but we got through it. The other students learned empathy and how to advocate for themselves as well.

The ‘chair thrower’ will not be leaving. You better ask the school what plan is in place and ask the teacher if they are actually able to follow the plan. Ask them what they are doing to ensure learning is continuing and how they are ensuring the safety of your child. If they cannot answer these simple questions fully the school isn’t actually doing much but running around like a chicken with its head cut off or seeing a fire and screaming ‘fire!’

Too bad. It’s a new world in 2025. You’re kidding yourself if you don’t think we will finally be able to get these violent kids out of the classrooms. The days of spending years to document are soon to be in the past.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this pop up from time to time and are almost never productive or helpful - just filled with generalizations or hearsay that don't reflect the actual law, policies, or contexts that schools and families are working within. I wish Jeff would do more to moderate or remove them because they are ableist and often inaccurate.

Also, we're talking about a child in your school community who needs support - maybe use that framing instead of "chair thrower." It's not like there are one-size-fits-all spaces in self-contained classrooms or good special ed private schools for every student who would benefit from them.

The only good advice here is what a PP said about documenting and sharing with the teacher/principal factual info about the impact on your own child.

Whenever I see “ableist” used I just know there’s gonna be an uninterrupted streak of nonsense

I see what you think about disabled kids. You are sick.
Even if this child doesn’t have a disability, it’s clear they have trauma and no clear boundaries at home or at school. They need support and it’s clear that school does not know what to do. I was previously a special education teacher who now teachers general education, I have had a student who shattered a glass window by the door, I have had students throw items, and hit. Those students all stopped within a month. One took 2 months because it took me a while to get through to the parents.

In the meantime, I made sure NONE of my students got hurt and learning continued. It was difficult that first month but we got through it. The other students learned empathy and how to advocate for themselves as well.

Your heart is in the right place and no doubt you are sincere. But are you secretly superman? Do you have superpowers to protect kids from shattered glass? From getting hit by thrown items? From getting hurt when hit? No, you don't!

The bolded above cannot be reconciled. If a kid is breaking glass or hitting or throwing things then my kid and all other kids are at risk. Like many well meaning educators you are focused on the bad actor to the exclusion of the other kids. If the kid with trauma ends up traumatizing one or more other kids, is it a win because that first kid was allowed to remain?

Kids who are a threat to other kids cannot remain. They should receive all necessary services, but away from kids who are at risk of being hurt by them.

P.S. I assume there will be responses to this calling me cold hearted, etc. As you type your rebuttals please consider you are offended that a parent doesn't want their kid hurt in school, and you think this is an unreasonable position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this pop up from time to time and are almost never productive or helpful - just filled with generalizations or hearsay that don't reflect the actual law, policies, or contexts that schools and families are working within. I wish Jeff would do more to moderate or remove them because they are ableist and often inaccurate.

Also, we're talking about a child in your school community who needs support - maybe use that framing instead of "chair thrower." It's not like there are one-size-fits-all spaces in self-contained classrooms or good special ed private schools for every student who would benefit from them.

The only good advice here is what a PP said about documenting and sharing with the teacher/principal factual info about the impact on your own child.

Whenever I see “ableist” used I just know there’s gonna be an uninterrupted streak of nonsense

I see what you think about disabled kids. You are sick.
Even if this child doesn’t have a disability, it’s clear they have trauma and no clear boundaries at home or at school. They need support and it’s clear that school does not know what to do. I was previously a special education teacher who now teachers general education, I have had a student who shattered a glass window by the door, I have had students throw items, and hit. Those students all stopped within a month. One took 2 months because it took me a while to get through to the parents.

In the meantime, I made sure NONE of my students got hurt and learning continued. It was difficult that first month but we got through it. The other students learned empathy and how to advocate for themselves as well.

The ‘chair thrower’ will not be leaving. You better ask the school what plan is in place and ask the teacher if they are actually able to follow the plan. Ask them what they are doing to ensure learning is continuing and how they are ensuring the safety of your child. If they cannot answer these simple questions fully the school isn’t actually doing much but running around like a chicken with its head cut off or seeing a fire and screaming ‘fire!’

It's scary for kids to be in a classroom with violent kids. You're bigger than the violent kids, but they're not. And it's not like there are violent/traumatized kids vs. everyone else: everyone has different stuff going on, but when kids aren't disruptive, it's assumed they're doing ok even if they're being strongly negatively affected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this pop up from time to time and are almost never productive or helpful - just filled with generalizations or hearsay that don't reflect the actual law, policies, or contexts that schools and families are working within. I wish Jeff would do more to moderate or remove them because they are ableist and often inaccurate.

Also, we're talking about a child in your school community who needs support - maybe use that framing instead of "chair thrower." It's not like there are one-size-fits-all spaces in self-contained classrooms or good special ed private schools for every student who would benefit from them.

The only good advice here is what a PP said about documenting and sharing with the teacher/principal factual info about the impact on your own child.

Whenever I see “ableist” used I just know there’s gonna be an uninterrupted streak of nonsense

I see what you think about disabled kids. You are sick.
Even if this child doesn’t have a disability, it’s clear they have trauma and no clear boundaries at home or at school. They need support and it’s clear that school does not know what to do. I was previously a special education teacher who now teachers general education, I have had a student who shattered a glass window by the door, I have had students throw items, and hit. Those students all stopped within a month. One took 2 months because it took me a while to get through to the parents.

In the meantime, I made sure NONE of my students got hurt and learning continued. It was difficult that first month but we got through it. The other students learned empathy and how to advocate for themselves as well.

The ‘chair thrower’ will not be leaving. You better ask the school what plan is in place and ask the teacher if they are actually able to follow the plan. Ask them what they are doing to ensure learning is continuing and how they are ensuring the safety of your child. If they cannot answer these simple questions fully the school isn’t actually doing much but running around like a chicken with its head cut off or seeing a fire and screaming ‘fire!’

It's scary for kids to be in a classroom with violent kids. You're bigger than the violent kids, but they're not. And it's not like there are violent/traumatized kids vs. everyone else: everyone has different stuff going on, but when kids aren't disruptive, it's assumed they're doing ok even if they're being strongly negatively affected.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think sometimes parents of really smart and well-behaved kids have difficulty seeing the full picture with respect to a problem child. Is the other child a 5th grader or something more like a 1st grader? Does the other child occasionally have full-on sensory-related fight or flight meltdowns? Is the classroom teacher somewhat inexperienced and not the absolute best at maintaining calm routines and expectations? If the child is younger, this type of behavior can be outgrown.

First of all, the "full picture" has to include the experiences of other kids in the classroom. Why do you ONLY care about the full picture on the kid with issues and don't seem to care at all about the child sitting next to him who is just trying to learn and not being allowed to do so thanks to chair throwing and other violent outbursts? What does it take to get you to give a damn about that kid at the next desk?

Second, in my experience many of these kids grow into these behaviors, not out of them. My kid's school never had disruptions like this in PK or K. In 1st, the classroom became more disrupted but generally not with violent behavior -- it was stuff like kids bringing cell phones into the classroom, just not listening, talking back to the teacher, etc. In second some kids started getting more violent and that's when the first chair throwing incidents happened, and when my kid experienced repeatedly having to clear a classroom to deal with a violent child having a meltdown.

We left after second but I know from other parents and from the administration that it tends to get worse as the grades go up. It is not uncommon at that school for there to be multiple days in the school year where MPD is called in for a violent incident involving 4th or 5th grade kids that may lead to criminal charges. The school has multiple social workers, a great sped team, and dedicated staff to help deal with the large at risk population, but it's hard. These kids have problems that are bigger than what a school can help them solve. And because other students (like mine) leave before getting to the upper grades, the issue is compounded.

I think some of us know more of the full picture than you realize. I also think you are ignoring some key components of the picture because they are inconvenient to your narrative, which involves perpetuating a system that teachers, admin, parents, and kids are trying to tell you IS NOT WORKING. Not for the kids with the behavioral issues, and not for anyone else. Yet you persist in saying it's the right way out of this misguided sense that you can empathize the problems away. You can't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Threads like this pop up from time to time and are almost never productive or helpful - just filled with generalizations or hearsay that don't reflect the actual law, policies, or contexts that schools and families are working within. I wish Jeff would do more to moderate or remove them because they are ableist and often inaccurate.

Also, we're talking about a child in your school community who needs support - maybe use that framing instead of "chair thrower." It's not like there are one-size-fits-all spaces in self-contained classrooms or good special ed private schools for every student who would benefit from them.

The only good advice here is what a PP said about documenting and sharing with the teacher/principal factual info about the impact on your own child.

Whenever I see “ableist” used I just know there’s gonna be an uninterrupted streak of nonsense

I'm not the prior poster, but you are so full of shite. You are clearly ignorant. Did you graduate from high school?