Sister Incorporating My Son into Her Wedding

[Anonymous]

Ew. No. You both need to have an actual adult male fill the role of your father if you insist on that.

[Anonymous]

OP here. By way of context for (1) I lowkey think it is weird to have a child give you away but I want her to be happy. For my wedding I was going to have my mom walk me or walk myself which would probably be the latter. For (2) I think its sweet. For (3) it crosses a line to me in conjunction with the other two because it feels like its too much. For my wedding I didn't want to do the thing where I tap his shoulder and he turns around and is supposed to have a reaction, I just wanted to come out and have a photographer capture us hugging and final moment together where we are just a family of two. I just wanted to make sure I do something special with my son for my own wedding that isn't some big deal but isn't a repeat of what my sister is wanting to do with him.

My son is pretty much a go with the flow person. He already knows about the first 2 and is fine with it. He doesn't know about the 3rd but my sister just told me about it today.


Also is a first look a new thing?? I'm 28 and I thought people have been doing this for years but maybe I'm wrong about that.

[Anonymous]

First looks is fairly new. Definitely a social media thing. And it's pretty dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My son is 12 years old. First look is supposed to be a moment between the bride and someone or a few people (e.g., groom, dad, bridesmaids) where there is essentially a reveal of the bride to that individual. They get a first look at the bride before she walks down the aisle. I always thought of it being a special and private moment. She is wanting to do it with just my son.

+1. Too weird to be true, actually. First dance is bride and groom so OP needs to do more research before her next story post.
The First Look is between the bride and the groom. Why would your child care about seeing his aunt in her wedding dress? I could see you and your mom being there to help her get ready but that's not the same as the First Look. I think walking her down the aisle WITH your mom is kind of cute. Even the cufflinks is nice. The rest is just weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First looks is fairly new. Definitely a social media thing. And it's pretty dumb.

Gotcha. So for any of you who had a child/children before marriage. Did you do anything special to incorporate them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My son is 12 years old. First look is supposed to be a moment between the bride and someone or a few people (e.g., groom, dad, bridesmaids) where there is essentially a reveal of the bride to that individual. They get a first look at the bride before she walks down the aisle. I always thought of it being a special and private moment. She is wanting to do it with just my son.

12 years old….no to everything. Your mom can handle it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. By way of context for (1) I lowkey think it is weird to have a child give you away but I want her to be happy. For my wedding I was going to have my mom walk me or walk myself which would probably be the latter. For (2) I think its sweet. For (3) it crosses a line to me in conjunction with the other two because it feels like its too much. For my wedding I didn't want to do the thing where I tap his shoulder and he turns around and is supposed to have a reaction, I just wanted to come out and have a photographer capture us hugging and final moment together where we are just a family of two. I just wanted to make sure I do something special with my son for my own wedding that isn't some big deal but isn't a repeat of what my sister is wanting to do with him.

My son is pretty much a go with the flow person. He already knows about the first 2 and is fine with it. He doesn't know about the 3rd but my sister just told me about it today.


Also is a first look a new thing?? I'm 28 and I thought people have been doing this for years but maybe I'm wrong about that.

A first look has only been a thing since instagram etc. And it’s usually a picture of the groom seeing the bride in her dress for the first time and being overcome with joy and how lovely she is, it’s one of those things that a wedding photographer stages. It’s all staged. Having it between a 12 year old and his aunt is actually kind of creepy.

[Anonymous]

Imagine an uncle wanting to do all of this with his tween niece. Sound creepy yet??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First looks is fairly new. Definitely a social media thing. And it's pretty dumb.

Gotcha. So for any of you who had a child/children before marriage. Did you do anything special to incorporate them?

It's not her child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First looks is fairly new. Definitely a social media thing. And it's pretty dumb.

Gotcha. So for any of you who had a child/children before marriage. Did you do anything special to incorporate them?

It's not her child.

I know I'm talking about for me when I get married lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. By way of context for (1) I lowkey think it is weird to have a child give you away but I want her to be happy. For my wedding I was going to have my mom walk me or walk myself which would probably be the latter. For (2) I think its sweet. For (3) it crosses a line to me in conjunction with the other two because it feels like its too much. For my wedding I didn't want to do the thing where I tap his shoulder and he turns around and is supposed to have a reaction, I just wanted to come out and have a photographer capture us hugging and final moment together where we are just a family of two. I just wanted to make sure I do something special with my son for my own wedding that isn't some big deal but isn't a repeat of what my sister is wanting to do with him.

My son is pretty much a go with the flow person. He already knows about the first 2 and is fine with it. He doesn't know about the 3rd but my sister just told me about it today.


Also is a first look a new thing?? I'm 28 and I thought people have been doing this for years but maybe I'm wrong about that.

A first look has only been a thing since instagram etc. And it’s usually a picture of the groom seeing the bride in her dress for the first time and being overcome with joy and how lovely she is, it’s one of those things that a wedding photographer stages. It’s all staged. Having it between a 12 year old and his aunt is actually kind of creepy.

It's so fake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First looks is fairly new. Definitely a social media thing. And it's pretty dumb.

Gotcha. So for any of you who had a child/children before marriage. Did you do anything special to incorporate them?

It's not her child.

I know I'm talking about for me when I get married lol

Start your own thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My son is 12 years old. First look is supposed to be a moment between the bride and someone or a few people (e.g., groom, dad, bridesmaids) where there is essentially a reveal of the bride to that individual. They get a first look at the bride before she walks down the aisle. I always thought of it being a special and private moment. She is wanting to do it with just my son.

How is he supposed to walk her down the aisle without seeing her first?

First looks are these staged set up pictures. Like his back will be turned and then she approaches him and he turns around and they capture the looks of love and wonder when he sees her for the first time. Which, won't be there for a 12 year old boy.

So much this.

I love my husband but his reaction to me in my wedding finery at the pre-ceremony photo shoot was not anywhere as impressed as I had expected. Still married though, 25+ years later.

If this shot matters to you this much, tell your sister you had wanted to do it with your son and are afraid he'll be bored if he has to do it twice.

Get your sister to do it with your mom.

[Anonymous]

I could see maybe a “First Look” with your mom. With your son/her 12 yo nephew is weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think first looks are corny and dumb in general so....I especially think doing one between a 12 year old and his aunt is ridiculous. I think the first dance is sweet. Maybe he and your mom can walk her down.

I have a 12 year old and I just can't picture the first look pics will be as sweet as she thinks they will be. My kid is generally pretty sweet and in touch with his feelings, but I'm pretty sure his reaction in those photos would come across as bored out of his mind.

Agreed. I'd tell her no to the first look thing just because it seems really wrong to be doing that with a 12 year old. What a cringy thing your generation has created wrt weddings. Who the heck comes up with this ridiculousness?

I'd be fine with all the rest of it.