Advice Needed: parents who both work long hours

[Anonymous]

For me, "having it all" means both parents are equally engaged at work and at home, because my personal ideal is a household where everythiing is more or less balanced. But I'm not cut out to be a SAHM - I wouldn't enjoy it. I also don't want to work 12 hours/day at my office. So my husband and I are both in 40 hr/week jobs and we're both (or neither) the primary parent.

There are other versions of "having it all" but clearly the OP doesn't feel like she has it all.

[Anonymous]

I "have it all" as a SAHM because I ditched my corporate job, spend time writing which I always wanted to do which didn't play, have a modest but comfortable life, and plenty of time with my kids. We are relaxed because I have so much time to take care of everything. I'm creatively, financially, emotionally fulfilled. I just hope it lasts.

[Anonymous]

Wow, some of you outsources must not be saving very much money! We net about 55k a month after taxes and retirement, etc. which is about where I assume the OP shakes out. I wouldn't dream of thinking we are too rich to clean up after ourselves! I can't believe people are telling her to hire a housekeeper so she doesn't have to do her own dishes or clean up the crumbs after dinner. That's some Kardashian level shit imo.

And if I was going to splurge, I'd much rather splash out on an amazing once-in-a-lifetime bucket list level trip for the whole family for the kind of money ya'll are spending on housekeepers. Something you can EASILY do on your own. Takes 15/20 minutes to wipe down the counters, load the dishwasher, pack food away, and sweep the floor.

If you make 1-2M a year or more? Than yeah sure outsource away. But 750k with 2 kids in private and college to pay for someday is not rich enough for that type of lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, some of you outsources must not be saving very much money! We net about 55k a month after taxes and retirement, etc. which is about where I assume the OP shakes out. I wouldn't dream of thinking we are too rich to clean up after ourselves! I can't believe people are telling her to hire a housekeeper so she doesn't have to do her own dishes or clean up the crumbs after dinner. That's some Kardashian level shit imo.

And if I was going to splurge, I'd much rather splash out on an amazing once-in-a-lifetime bucket list level trip for the whole family for the kind of money ya'll are spending on housekeepers. Something you can EASILY do on your own. Takes 15/20 minutes to wipe down the counters, load the dishwasher, pack food away, and sweep the floor.

If you make 1-2M a year or more? Than yeah sure outsource away. But 750k with 2 kids in private and college to pay for someday is not rich enough for that type of lifestyle.

This. There's a reason people making this much money are making this much money...it's because they're not idiots who would pay 150k+ a year for someone to clean up their dinner dishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me, "having it all" means both parents are equally engaged at work and at home, because my personal ideal is a household where everythiing is more or less balanced. But I'm not cut out to be a SAHM - I wouldn't enjoy it. I also don't want to work 12 hours/day at my office. So my husband and I are both in 40 hr/week jobs and we're both (or neither) the primary parent.

There are other versions of "having it all" but clearly the OP doesn't feel like she has it all.

This is also my definition. My husband and I both work, we both take care of our kids, we both take care of our dogs, and we both take care of our house. We also both maintain relationships with our friends and extended family. I, personally, don't like the idea of imbalance, where one person does all of one thing and the other does all of another. Yes, my husband does 99% of the outside maintenance of the house and I do 99% of the laundry, but neither the house nor the laundry care who is taking care of them. Our kids, family, and friends do care, which is why we both attend to those items.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, some of you outsources must not be saving very much money! We net about 55k a month after taxes and retirement, etc. which is about where I assume the OP shakes out. I wouldn't dream of thinking we are too rich to clean up after ourselves! I can't believe people are telling her to hire a housekeeper so she doesn't have to do her own dishes or clean up the crumbs after dinner. That's some Kardashian level shit imo.

And if I was going to splurge, I'd much rather splash out on an amazing once-in-a-lifetime bucket list level trip for the whole family for the kind of money ya'll are spending on housekeepers. Something you can EASILY do on your own. Takes 15/20 minutes to wipe down the counters, load the dishwasher, pack food away, and sweep the floor.

If you make 1-2M a year or more? Than yeah sure outsource away. But 750k with 2 kids in private and college to pay for someday is not rich enough for that type of lifestyle.

I had a daily housekeeper making less than 1/3 of what the OP makes. I was employed hourly at the time. I worked an extra 3 hours/week doing work that I actually enjoyed that helped people in my community, and in exchange, I got 20 hours/wk of grocery shopping, laundry, cooking, cleaning, organizing, and overall household management. I also, IMHO, provided a fairly decent job for someone who needed one. Seemed like a good deal to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, some of you outsources must not be saving very much money! We net about 55k a month after taxes and retirement, etc. which is about where I assume the OP shakes out. I wouldn't dream of thinking we are too rich to clean up after ourselves! I can't believe people are telling her to hire a housekeeper so she doesn't have to do her own dishes or clean up the crumbs after dinner. That's some Kardashian level shit imo.

And if I was going to splurge, I'd much rather splash out on an amazing once-in-a-lifetime bucket list level trip for the whole family for the kind of money ya'll are spending on housekeepers. Something you can EASILY do on your own. Takes 15/20 minutes to wipe down the counters, load the dishwasher, pack food away, and sweep the floor.

If you make 1-2M a year or more? Than yeah sure outsource away. But 750k with 2 kids in private and college to pay for someday is not rich enough for that type of lifestyle.

This. There's a reason people making this much money are making this much money...it's because they're not idiots who would pay 150k+ a year for someone to clean up their dinner dishes.

No one is going to pay you a doctor’s salary to clean their dinner dishes. It’s a part time job, and not a highly paid one. At most, you might get $30k/yr, but it’s probably going to be half that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, some of you outsources must not be saving very much money! We net about 55k a month after taxes and retirement, etc. which is about where I assume the OP shakes out. I wouldn't dream of thinking we are too rich to clean up after ourselves! I can't believe people are telling her to hire a housekeeper so she doesn't have to do her own dishes or clean up the crumbs after dinner. That's some Kardashian level shit imo.

And if I was going to splurge, I'd much rather splash out on an amazing once-in-a-lifetime bucket list level trip for the whole family for the kind of money ya'll are spending on housekeepers. Something you can EASILY do on your own. Takes 15/20 minutes to wipe down the counters, load the dishwasher, pack food away, and sweep the floor.

If you make 1-2M a year or more? Than yeah sure outsource away. But 750k with 2 kids in private and college to pay for someday is not rich enough for that type of lifestyle.

This. There's a reason people making this much money are making this much money...it's because they're not idiots who would pay 150k+ a year for someone to clean up their dinner dishes.

No one is going to pay you a doctor’s salary to clean their dinner dishes. It’s a part time job, and not a highly paid one. At most, you might get $30k/yr, but it’s probably going to be half that.

A daily person who cleans, cooks, grocery shops, runs errands, and babysits in the afternoon? I think you’re looking at 45 - 50 hours in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, some of you outsources must not be saving very much money! We net about 55k a month after taxes and retirement, etc. which is about where I assume the OP shakes out. I wouldn't dream of thinking we are too rich to clean up after ourselves! I can't believe people are telling her to hire a housekeeper so she doesn't have to do her own dishes or clean up the crumbs after dinner. That's some Kardashian level shit imo.

And if I was going to splurge, I'd much rather splash out on an amazing once-in-a-lifetime bucket list level trip for the whole family for the kind of money ya'll are spending on housekeepers. Something you can EASILY do on your own. Takes 15/20 minutes to wipe down the counters, load the dishwasher, pack food away, and sweep the floor.

If you make 1-2M a year or more? Than yeah sure outsource away. But 750k with 2 kids in private and college to pay for someday is not rich enough for that type of lifestyle.

This. There's a reason people making this much money are making this much money...it's because they're not idiots who would pay 150k+ a year for someone to clean up their dinner dishes.

No one is going to pay you a doctor’s salary to clean their dinner dishes. It’s a part time job, and not a highly paid one. At most, you might get $30k/yr, but it’s probably going to be half that.

If you know someone who will do things for $15k/yr give me their email address. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, some of you outsources must not be saving very much money! We net about 55k a month after taxes and retirement, etc. which is about where I assume the OP shakes out. I wouldn't dream of thinking we are too rich to clean up after ourselves! I can't believe people are telling her to hire a housekeeper so she doesn't have to do her own dishes or clean up the crumbs after dinner. That's some Kardashian level shit imo.

And if I was going to splurge, I'd much rather splash out on an amazing once-in-a-lifetime bucket list level trip for the whole family for the kind of money ya'll are spending on housekeepers. Something you can EASILY do on your own. Takes 15/20 minutes to wipe down the counters, load the dishwasher, pack food away, and sweep the floor.

If you make 1-2M a year or more? Than yeah sure outsource away. But 750k with 2 kids in private and college to pay for someday is not rich enough for that type of lifestyle.

Another completely delusional poster. You net 55k A MONTH? What do you do for that 55k per month? Seriously... many people net that per year here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, "having it all" means both parents are equally engaged at work and at home, because my personal ideal is a household where everythiing is more or less balanced. But I'm not cut out to be a SAHM - I wouldn't enjoy it. I also don't want to work 12 hours/day at my office. So my husband and I are both in 40 hr/week jobs and we're both (or neither) the primary parent.

There are other versions of "having it all" but clearly the OP doesn't feel like she has it all.

This is also my definition. My husband and I both work, we both take care of our kids, we both take care of our dogs, and we both take care of our house. We also both maintain relationships with our friends and extended family. I, personally, don't like the idea of imbalance, where one person does all of one thing and the other does all of another. Yes, my husband does 99% of the outside maintenance of the house and I do 99% of the laundry, but neither the house nor the laundry care who is taking care of them. Our kids, family, and friends do care, which is why we both attend to those items.

Well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, some of you outsources must not be saving very much money! We net about 55k a month after taxes and retirement, etc. which is about where I assume the OP shakes out. I wouldn't dream of thinking we are too rich to clean up after ourselves! I can't believe people are telling her to hire a housekeeper so she doesn't have to do her own dishes or clean up the crumbs after dinner. That's some Kardashian level shit imo.

And if I was going to splurge, I'd much rather splash out on an amazing once-in-a-lifetime bucket list level trip for the whole family for the kind of money ya'll are spending on housekeepers. Something you can EASILY do on your own. Takes 15/20 minutes to wipe down the counters, load the dishwasher, pack food away, and sweep the floor.

If you make 1-2M a year or more? Than yeah sure outsource away. But 750k with 2 kids in private and college to pay for someday is not rich enough for that type of lifestyle.

Another completely delusional poster. You net 55k A MONTH? What do you do for that 55k per month? Seriously... many people net that per year here.

What do you think 750/800k after tax is. That’s what the op says she makes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, some of you outsources must not be saving very much money! We net about 55k a month after taxes and retirement, etc. which is about where I assume the OP shakes out. I wouldn't dream of thinking we are too rich to clean up after ourselves! I can't believe people are telling her to hire a housekeeper so she doesn't have to do her own dishes or clean up the crumbs after dinner. That's some Kardashian level shit imo.

And if I was going to splurge, I'd much rather splash out on an amazing once-in-a-lifetime bucket list level trip for the whole family for the kind of money ya'll are spending on housekeepers. Something you can EASILY do on your own. Takes 15/20 minutes to wipe down the counters, load the dishwasher, pack food away, and sweep the floor.

If you make 1-2M a year or more? Than yeah sure outsource away. But 750k with 2 kids in private and college to pay for someday is not rich enough for that type of lifestyle.

Another completely delusional poster. You net 55k A MONTH? What do you do for that 55k per month? Seriously... many people net that per year here.

DH nets 35k per month and bonuses 500k-1m per year.

We spend about $1500 per month on housekeeping and I’m a SAHM. We have someone deep clean every other week and another person who helps cook, do laundry, tidy up part time.

We do not live a lavish lifestyle but we do live in a large house. I don’t know who thinks a housekeeper makes 150k. People on this site are not in touch with reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, some of you outsources must not be saving very much money! We net about 55k a month after taxes and retirement, etc. which is about where I assume the OP shakes out. I wouldn't dream of thinking we are too rich to clean up after ourselves! I can't believe people are telling her to hire a housekeeper so she doesn't have to do her own dishes or clean up the crumbs after dinner. That's some Kardashian level shit imo.

And if I was going to splurge, I'd much rather splash out on an amazing once-in-a-lifetime bucket list level trip for the whole family for the kind of money ya'll are spending on housekeepers. Something you can EASILY do on your own. Takes 15/20 minutes to wipe down the counters, load the dishwasher, pack food away, and sweep the floor.

If you make 1-2M a year or more? Than yeah sure outsource away. But 750k with 2 kids in private and college to pay for someday is not rich enough for that type of lifestyle.

Another completely delusional poster. You net 55k A MONTH? What do you do for that 55k per month? Seriously... many people net that per year here.

DH nets 35k per month and bonuses 500k-1m per year.

We spend about $1500 per month on housekeeping and I’m a SAHM. We have someone deep clean every other week and another person who helps cook, do laundry, tidy up part time.

We do not live a lavish lifestyle but we do live in a large house. I don’t know who thinks a housekeeper makes 150k. People on this site are not in touch with reality.

You have to pay taxes on bonuses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, some of you outsources must not be saving very much money! We net about 55k a month after taxes and retirement, etc. which is about where I assume the OP shakes out. I wouldn't dream of thinking we are too rich to clean up after ourselves! I can't believe people are telling her to hire a housekeeper so she doesn't have to do her own dishes or clean up the crumbs after dinner. That's some Kardashian level shit imo.

And if I was going to splurge, I'd much rather splash out on an amazing once-in-a-lifetime bucket list level trip for the whole family for the kind of money ya'll are spending on housekeepers. Something you can EASILY do on your own. Takes 15/20 minutes to wipe down the counters, load the dishwasher, pack food away, and sweep the floor.

If you make 1-2M a year or more? Than yeah sure outsource away. But 750k with 2 kids in private and college to pay for someday is not rich enough for that type of lifestyle.

Another completely delusional poster. You net 55k A MONTH? What do you do for that 55k per month? Seriously... many people net that per year here.

What do you think 750/800k after tax is. That’s what the op says she makes.

She said they make that pre-tax?