Any men here who walked away from their families?

Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.


Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?


1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.


No, it’s not. Default is 50/50. If you don’t have 50%, it’s because you don’t want it.

Also, my dad was awarded full custody in the 90s, and my mom wasn’t even crazy or a bad mom. He was just a more involved parent than she was. Anyone who says the court systems don’t award custody to fathers hasn’t really been through the court system, it’s usually because they are completely checked out.


I realize it’s hard to understand but there are in fact women who will lie and cheat their way to alienating the father. is the father blameless - no. But having seen this dynamic up close, I cannot fully blame the man who concludes that continually triggering the BPD antics is not good for anyone, and takes a big step back.


Excuses, excuses. I 100% fully blame the man who "takes a big step back" from his own children, because he's an asshat.


And no blame on the mother? yeah right. as I said nobody’s a hero in this scenario but it’s not true that the mom is purely blameless.


lol Now you’ve convinced yourself that a divorced woman is somehow able to control her ex husband.

Dude, if she could get him to work the job she wanted and spend time with the kids when she wanted, there’s no way in hell she’d be divorcing him.

Instead, the divorced guy is mad because the ex wife isn’t covering for him anymore. He doesn’t like that his actions “look bad” and he thinks his ex wife is soooo mean for not being at his beck and call to produce the kids whenever it’s convenient all the while doing the emotional labor to convince the kids that their dad’s (chosen) absence is an act of love. F that


Ok … if the mom gets full custody because of the dad’s work schedule (and of course putting food on the table is a parental responsibility) but puts up obstacles to visitation …. whose fault is that? You live in a real fantasy land if you believe all men can snap their fingers and get a 9-5 job close to wherever their ex decided to move.


lol that’s not how it works. Parents can’t just move kids, and the default is 50/50 custody, no matter what your schedule is. If he works overnights, great, that means he has plenty of time to spend with the kids during the day and can still do 50/50.

If you view your parental responsibility solely as putting food on the table, then don’t be surprised when you are treated like nothing more than an ATM.


Ok thanks for that fact-free post. here in the real world, moms that want to effectively make the case for greater than 50% custody all the time, and then either move or get permission to move from the courts. Nobody is saying that men in this scenario are blameless - just, you have some real axe to grind if you deny women ever have a role in pushing dads away. You are not the smartest cookie.



Custody impacts child support as well. The more time share dad has, the less money they get. Many don't get court permission and just move and refuse contact. You can go to court but they just repremand mom and say let dad see the kids but there are no consequences behind the refusal.
Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.


Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?


1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.


No, it’s not. Default is 50/50. If you don’t have 50%, it’s because you don’t want it.

Also, my dad was awarded full custody in the 90s, and my mom wasn’t even crazy or a bad mom. He was just a more involved parent than she was. Anyone who says the court systems don’t award custody to fathers hasn’t really been through the court system, it’s usually because they are completely checked out.


Mom - refuses to work
Dad - in the military or has a job that requires unpredictable hours or late nights.

Result - full custody to mom.


You could get a different job. One that fits with your parenting needs. That's normal for women. Ever think of it?


Ever think that people have very different economic situations from you?


Nope. You make it work.

My dad was the CEO of a large tech company when my parents split. And mom did absolutely everything to alienate us from him.

He quit his job and started a new career in something far less lucrative so he could be there for his kids. Yes, he had to downsize. Yes, money was tight. And he took a crappy job so he could have time to volunteer at our school and be home when we got home.

Bottom line is if you care about your kids, you do whatever it takes. Moms do it all the time. I know moms who get up at 3am to work while their kids sleep.

If you can’t prioritize your kids, you’re not a real man. Period.

Wow, that's so awesome he was so committed to being your dad. It's really sad that some people have the bar set so low for men.


And not a word for the mom in this situation, whose crazy BPD antics led to a pretty significant economic blow to the family?


I’m the PP whose mom you are referencing. That’s not the point. The point is my dad didn’t use her behavior as an excuse to bail on his kids, which is what a good parent does. The devil himself couldn’t keep me away from my kids, and if you let an ex who just talks sh!t about you behind your back keep you away from your kids, you’re a bad parent. Period.


You know who can keep you away from your kids? A spouse/ex-spouse who files PPOs based on false allegations, who calls CPS with false allegations, who files for 100% custody of a kid they didn't have much of an interest in the last few years but are now using as leverage, etc. Those moves get shot down, but it takes time. Also, when the kid isn't old enough to have their own method of communication or transportation, then yeah, the kid is kept from their other parent.


Yep. Or a spouse who is so volatile and high conflict that a person reaches the point of believing that the kids are in fact better served by removing the source of conflict and disappearing. I would not do that myself but again I think that is a different scenario from a man just deciding he doesn’t want to parent.

If you cared an oz about your children you would fight for them to NOT be in the custody of someone "so volatile and high conflict".

Again, a bad parent is one who leaves their children with an unfit caregiver. So either you dont care about your children being with an unfit caregiver, or you just dont want to care for them yourself.


Ask yourself why you are so triggered at people relating that in some cases the mom in fact drove the dad off through toxic behavior and manipulation of the courts?

I'm not triggered, I'm saying it's incredibly rare. This is not statistically relevant.


Its not rare, but most men know there is nothing that can be done because courts will not hold mom accountable. You don't think it's not that common mom has an affair and leaves to be with her AP, taking the kids. Then, makes AP the dad. It's more common then you think. It's also probably common that the dad's aren't the actual dads which is why they should require paternity testing at the hospital.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.


Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?


1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.


No, it’s not. Default is 50/50. If you don’t have 50%, it’s because you don’t want it.

Also, my dad was awarded full custody in the 90s, and my mom wasn’t even crazy or a bad mom. He was just a more involved parent than she was. Anyone who says the court systems don’t award custody to fathers hasn’t really been through the court system, it’s usually because they are completely checked out.


I realize it’s hard to understand but there are in fact women who will lie and cheat their way to alienating the father. is the father blameless - no. But having seen this dynamic up close, I cannot fully blame the man who concludes that continually triggering the BPD antics is not good for anyone, and takes a big step back.


Excuses, excuses. I 100% fully blame the man who "takes a big step back" from his own children, because he's an asshat.


And no blame on the mother? yeah right. as I said nobody’s a hero in this scenario but it’s not true that the mom is purely blameless.


lol Now you’ve convinced yourself that a divorced woman is somehow able to control her ex husband.

Dude, if she could get him to work the job she wanted and spend time with the kids when she wanted, there’s no way in hell she’d be divorcing him.

Instead, the divorced guy is mad because the ex wife isn’t covering for him anymore. He doesn’t like that his actions “look bad” and he thinks his ex wife is soooo mean for not being at his beck and call to produce the kids whenever it’s convenient all the while doing the emotional labor to convince the kids that their dad’s (chosen) absence is an act of love. F that


Ok … if the mom gets full custody because of the dad’s work schedule (and of course putting food on the table is a parental responsibility) but puts up obstacles to visitation …. whose fault is that? You live in a real fantasy land if you believe all men can snap their fingers and get a 9-5 job close to wherever their ex decided to move.


lol that’s not how it works. Parents can’t just move kids, and the default is 50/50 custody, no matter what your schedule is. If he works overnights, great, that means he has plenty of time to spend with the kids during the day and can still do 50/50.

If you view your parental responsibility solely as putting food on the table, then don’t be surprised when you are treated like nothing more than an ATM.


Ok thanks for that fact-free post. here in the real world, moms that want to effectively make the case for greater than 50% custody all the time, and then either move or get permission to move from the courts. Nobody is saying that men in this scenario are blameless - just, you have some real axe to grind if you deny women ever have a role in pushing dads away. You are not the smartest cookie.



Custody impacts child support as well. The more time share dad has, the less money they get. Many don't get court permission and just move and refuse contact. You can go to court but they just repremand mom and say let dad see the kids but there are no consequences behind the refusal.

Now you're just talking out your a$$. This is totally incorrect lol. You literally have no idea how the courts work. No wonder you keep making up these stories, none of it is based in fact or reality.
Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.


Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?


1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.


No, it’s not. Default is 50/50. If you don’t have 50%, it’s because you don’t want it.

Also, my dad was awarded full custody in the 90s, and my mom wasn’t even crazy or a bad mom. He was just a more involved parent than she was. Anyone who says the court systems don’t award custody to fathers hasn’t really been through the court system, it’s usually because they are completely checked out.


Mom - refuses to work
Dad - in the military or has a job that requires unpredictable hours or late nights.

Result - full custody to mom.


You could get a different job. One that fits with your parenting needs. That's normal for women. Ever think of it?


Ever think that people have very different economic situations from you?


Nope. You make it work.

My dad was the CEO of a large tech company when my parents split. And mom did absolutely everything to alienate us from him.

He quit his job and started a new career in something far less lucrative so he could be there for his kids. Yes, he had to downsize. Yes, money was tight. And he took a crappy job so he could have time to volunteer at our school and be home when we got home.

Bottom line is if you care about your kids, you do whatever it takes. Moms do it all the time. I know moms who get up at 3am to work while their kids sleep.

If you can’t prioritize your kids, you’re not a real man. Period.

Wow, that's so awesome he was so committed to being your dad. It's really sad that some people have the bar set so low for men.


And not a word for the mom in this situation, whose crazy BPD antics led to a pretty significant economic blow to the family?


I’m the PP whose mom you are referencing. That’s not the point. The point is my dad didn’t use her behavior as an excuse to bail on his kids, which is what a good parent does. The devil himself couldn’t keep me away from my kids, and if you let an ex who just talks sh!t about you behind your back keep you away from your kids, you’re a bad parent. Period.


You know who can keep you away from your kids? A spouse/ex-spouse who files PPOs based on false allegations, who calls CPS with false allegations, who files for 100% custody of a kid they didn't have much of an interest in the last few years but are now using as leverage, etc. Those moves get shot down, but it takes time. Also, when the kid isn't old enough to have their own method of communication or transportation, then yeah, the kid is kept from their other parent.


Yep. Or a spouse who is so volatile and high conflict that a person reaches the point of believing that the kids are in fact better served by removing the source of conflict and disappearing. I would not do that myself but again I think that is a different scenario from a man just deciding he doesn’t want to parent.

If you cared an oz about your children you would fight for them to NOT be in the custody of someone "so volatile and high conflict".

Again, a bad parent is one who leaves their children with an unfit caregiver. So either you dont care about your children being with an unfit caregiver, or you just dont want to care for them yourself.


Ask yourself why you are so triggered at people relating that in some cases the mom in fact drove the dad off through toxic behavior and manipulation of the courts?

I'm not triggered, I'm saying it's incredibly rare. This is not statistically relevant.


Its not rare, but most men know there is nothing that can be done because courts will not hold mom accountable. You don't think it's not that common mom has an affair and leaves to be with her AP, taking the kids. Then, makes AP the dad. It's more common then you think. It's also probably common that the dad's aren't the actual dads which is why they should require paternity testing at the hospital.

Okie dokie, this is just red pill manosphere talking points. Not based in reality.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.


Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?


1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.


No, it’s not. Default is 50/50. If you don’t have 50%, it’s because you don’t want it.

Also, my dad was awarded full custody in the 90s, and my mom wasn’t even crazy or a bad mom. He was just a more involved parent than she was. Anyone who says the court systems don’t award custody to fathers hasn’t really been through the court system, it’s usually because they are completely checked out.


Mom - refuses to work
Dad - in the military or has a job that requires unpredictable hours or late nights.

Result - full custody to mom.


You could get a different job. One that fits with your parenting needs. That's normal for women. Ever think of it?


Ever think that people have very different economic situations from you?


Nope. You make it work.

My dad was the CEO of a large tech company when my parents split. And mom did absolutely everything to alienate us from him.

He quit his job and started a new career in something far less lucrative so he could be there for his kids. Yes, he had to downsize. Yes, money was tight. And he took a crappy job so he could have time to volunteer at our school and be home when we got home.

Bottom line is if you care about your kids, you do whatever it takes. Moms do it all the time. I know moms who get up at 3am to work while their kids sleep.

If you can’t prioritize your kids, you’re not a real man. Period.


Sure, a CEO is exactly the same as an enlisted Marine.


Your situation is not everyone's. You can prioritize your kids but mom will just not have the kids at home or the pick up location or refuse to anwser the phone. She will tell the school you cannot have contact or access and depending on the school, they will follow it. There was no need for your dad to step down. He should have kept his job and flown regularly and flown you all out.

Military and others cannot just move and even if they move they still cannot be involved.
Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.


Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?


1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.


No, it’s not. Default is 50/50. If you don’t have 50%, it’s because you don’t want it.

Also, my dad was awarded full custody in the 90s, and my mom wasn’t even crazy or a bad mom. He was just a more involved parent than she was. Anyone who says the court systems don’t award custody to fathers hasn’t really been through the court system, it’s usually because they are completely checked out.


Mom - refuses to work
Dad - in the military or has a job that requires unpredictable hours or late nights.

Result - full custody to mom.


You could get a different job. One that fits with your parenting needs. That's normal for women. Ever think of it?


Ever think that people have very different economic situations from you?


Nope. You make it work.

My dad was the CEO of a large tech company when my parents split. And mom did absolutely everything to alienate us from him.

He quit his job and started a new career in something far less lucrative so he could be there for his kids. Yes, he had to downsize. Yes, money was tight. And he took a crappy job so he could have time to volunteer at our school and be home when we got home.

Bottom line is if you care about your kids, you do whatever it takes. Moms do it all the time. I know moms who get up at 3am to work while their kids sleep.

If you can’t prioritize your kids, you’re not a real man. Period.

Wow, that's so awesome he was so committed to being your dad. It's really sad that some people have the bar set so low for men.


And not a word for the mom in this situation, whose crazy BPD antics led to a pretty significant economic blow to the family?


I’m the PP whose mom you are referencing. That’s not the point. The point is my dad didn’t use her behavior as an excuse to bail on his kids, which is what a good parent does. The devil himself couldn’t keep me away from my kids, and if you let an ex who just talks sh!t about you behind your back keep you away from your kids, you’re a bad parent. Period.


You know who can keep you away from your kids? A spouse/ex-spouse who files PPOs based on false allegations, who calls CPS with false allegations, who files for 100% custody of a kid they didn't have much of an interest in the last few years but are now using as leverage, etc. Those moves get shot down, but it takes time. Also, when the kid isn't old enough to have their own method of communication or transportation, then yeah, the kid is kept from their other parent.


Yep. Or a spouse who is so volatile and high conflict that a person reaches the point of believing that the kids are in fact better served by removing the source of conflict and disappearing. I would not do that myself but again I think that is a different scenario from a man just deciding he doesn’t want to parent.

If you cared an oz about your children you would fight for them to NOT be in the custody of someone "so volatile and high conflict".

Again, a bad parent is one who leaves their children with an unfit caregiver. So either you dont care about your children being with an unfit caregiver, or you just dont want to care for them yourself.


Ask yourself why you are so triggered at people relating that in some cases the mom in fact drove the dad off through toxic behavior and manipulation of the courts?

I'm not triggered, I'm saying it's incredibly rare. This is not statistically relevant.


Its not rare, but most men know there is nothing that can be done because courts will not hold mom accountable. You don't think it's not that common mom has an affair and leaves to be with her AP, taking the kids. Then, makes AP the dad. It's more common then you think. It's also probably common that the dad's aren't the actual dads which is why they should require paternity testing at the hospital.

Okie dokie, this is just red pill manosphere talking points. Not based in reality.


You aren't based in reality and trying to justify your poor behavior. You want your ex to chase you and you are blocking everything and proud of it.
Anonymous
Honestly, this just shows how little how you or the men in your life care about their kids.

"What Happens if a Mother Refuses Access?
If there’s a court order granting visitation and the mother refuses to comply, she could face legal consequences. The father can go back to court and file a motion to enforce visitation. If she continues to block access, she could be found in contempt of court, which might lead to fines or other penalties. In some cases, a judge could even modify custody arrangements in favor of the father."

So instead of whining and complaining about their ex on the internet, they could have been doing the work and getting even more custody. Oh wait, it's working exactly as planned because these men didn't even want custody in the first place.
Anonymous
I think we can identify the parents on this thread who clearly are deadbeats but blame everyone else for their own failures.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I think we can identify the parents on this thread who clearly are deadbeats but blame everyone else for their own failures.

Yup.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote: For the longest time I tried to convince myself that these things happen, people are complicated, etc. Then I had my own kid who is now the age I was when my Dad essentially chose a new family, and I'm horrified.



God, this, 1000 times, this. I would never do to my kids the things my dad did to us.
Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:My husband did. Took 2 yrs. to get to the truth which was that he was gay.
That at least seems forgivable on most levels. Mine bolted from a decades long marriage. The marriage did indeed need to end. It's unfortunate for him that he didn't see the need to try to wrap it up in a civilized way even as I was saying "I agree with you." He took all his toys and ran away. I don't bother trying to get inside his head to get to the bottom of why he left the way he did.

I focused on my own side of the street. Even though I'm the one who was dumped, I'm in a better place emotionally. He's chasing happiness but he's certainly not at peace. It's a bummer for our kids. Spoiler: permanent state of "happiness" is unrealistic. A more permanent state of peace is possible with a lot of honest work.


Why do the work when you can just ghost on your responsibilities and blame your ex?
I know. His behavior was and is terrible. I wish the best for him even though I have been cast as the crazy ex. I took the divorce as an opportunity to work on myself and the issues I brought to that relationship, or at least the ones I am aware of since he wanted no part of post-marriage therapy. Everyone deserves to live a peaceful life. I fought for mine, if that makes sense. He wanted me to drown. I seem to have ended up with the better deal and I'm grateful now for the kick in the pants that brought me to this place.


You sound in denial talking bad about him while pretending to wish him joy and your dismissiveness of someone else's pain having a gay husband and being lied to likely from the beginning is disturbing.


Two (or more) contradictory emotions can exist at the same time.
Anonymous
So far no one has outright admitted they've walked away from their family. But a few of the posts on here tell a different story.

It's anonymous. You don't have to hide behind a facade or pretend to be a woman. You can just admit you walked away.

Did you start a new life? Do you still think about your (old) kids? Will you ever see them again? Do you keep tabs on their lives in any way (family, social media)?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband did. Took 2 yrs. to get to the truth which was that he was gay.


I think mine is but will never even admit it to himself. It’s sad for both of us.


What were your clues?


His face sometimes flashed an expression of repulsion during physical intimacy.



Oh wow.

My clues were that he was a V at 22 and in no hurry to do the deed. Was not eager to go downtown.

My boyfriend before him sometimes made me feel like he was going to eat me alive, metaphorically speaking. This guy was trying to live a fantasy in which he was straight.

Sadly, he married a woman and has a kid. I believe he is still in denial.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's obviously really bad for society in many ways- bad for families, bad for the children involved, bad for the second set of kids, just generally destructive of family life. It also messes with the dating pool and is damaging for women in general.

So I'm not sure why it's not more openly condemned or talked about. I guess since most media and public outlets are controlled by older men.

It's interesting to me that with all the talk about traditional families and conservative culture now, people don't talk about this more. Maybe young conservative women are content to marry middle-aged men on their second or third families? But men leaving their families to start a second family is pretty high on the list of societal dysfunction.


It is not talked about for several reasons. The first of which is that our society prioritizes freedom and choice above almost all else, especially responsibility and tradition. The second of which is that the concept that marriage is between one man and one woman is also viewed as outdated, old-fashioned, and an outdated relic of Christian morality. The third of which is that it is a currently popular espoused belief among elites that all different types of family structures are equally good for raising children.


Meh, my grandpa abandoned his three kids in 1960s. My GGpa sired a daughter outside of his marriage in 1920s. My ultra MAGA dad had an affair, divorce, new family when I was young. "currently popular belief among elites" my a s s.

It's hyporisy all the way. Affairs and divorce and multiple baby mommas for me, but bad for thee.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Honestly, this just shows how little how you or the men in your life care about their kids.

"What Happens if a Mother Refuses Access?
If there’s a court order granting visitation and the mother refuses to comply, she could face legal consequences. The father can go back to court and file a motion to enforce visitation. If she continues to block access, she could be found in contempt of court, which might lead to fines or other penalties. In some cases, a judge could even modify custody arrangements in favor of the father."

So instead of whining and complaining about their ex on the internet, they could have been doing the work and getting even more custody. Oh wait, it's working exactly as planned because these men didn't even want custody in the first place.


I am just one (there are multiple) posters arguing with you (I'm sure you'd like to think it's just one absent father but I'm a woman and at least some other posters have identified as women as well).

Of course a dad can fight a mom in court for custody. Do you have any idea how much time that can take? It's like you think the dad just calls the court at 2 pm when mom doesn't drop the kids off and by 2:30 he has them. That's not how it works. Some people abuse the system and don't comply with orders. Your black and white way of thinking is unhelpful but just goes to show how small-minded you are. Keep on preaching like you're some sort of feminist and won't apologize for men's bad behavior. No one arguing with you is doing that either. We're just saying you seem to have little grasp on what the world is really like.
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