Reply to Any men here who walked away from their families?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Any men here who walked away from their families?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and [b]sees child when he can, [/b]but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.[/quote]
Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.[/quote]

Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?[/quote]

1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.[/quote]

No, it’s not. Default is 50/50. If you don’t have 50%, it’s because you don’t want it.

Also, my dad was awarded full custody in the 90s, and my mom wasn’t even crazy or a bad mom. He was just a more involved parent than she was. Anyone who says the court systems don’t award custody to fathers hasn’t really been through the court system, it’s usually because they are completely checked out. [/quote]

Mom - refuses to work
Dad - in the military or has a job that requires unpredictable hours or late nights.

Result - full custody to mom. [/quote]

You could get a different job. One that fits with your parenting needs. That's normal for women. Ever think of it?[/quote]

Ever think that people have very different economic situations from you? [/quote]

Nope. You make it work.

My dad was the CEO of a large tech company when my parents split. And mom did absolutely everything to alienate us from him.

He quit his job and started a new career in something far less lucrative so he could be there for his kids. Yes, he had to downsize. Yes, money was tight. And he took a crappy job so he could have time to volunteer at our school and be home when we got home.

Bottom line is if you care about your kids, you do whatever it takes. Moms do it all the time. I know moms who get up at 3am to work while their kids sleep.

If you can’t prioritize your kids, you’re not a real man. Period. [/quote]
Wow, that's so awesome he was so committed to being your dad. It's really sad that some people have the bar set so low for men. [/quote]

And not a word for the mom in this situation, whose crazy BPD antics led to a pretty significant economic blow to the family? [/quote]

I’m the PP whose mom you are referencing. That’s not the point. The point is my dad didn’t use her behavior as an excuse to bail on his kids, which is what a good parent does. The devil himself couldn’t keep me away from my kids, and if you let an ex who just talks sh!t about you behind your back keep you away from your kids, you’re a bad parent. Period. [/quote]

You know who can keep you away from your kids? A spouse/ex-spouse who files PPOs based on false allegations, who calls CPS with false allegations, who files for 100% custody of a kid they didn't have much of an interest in the last few years but are now using as leverage, etc. Those moves get shot down, but it takes time. Also, when the kid isn't old enough to have their own method of communication or transportation, then yeah, the kid is kept from their other parent.[/quote]

Yep. Or [b]a spouse who is so volatile and high conflict[/b] that a person reaches the point of believing that the kids are in fact better served by removing the source of conflict and disappearing. I would not do that myself but again I think that is a different scenario from a man just deciding he doesn’t want to parent. [/quote]
If you cared an oz about your children you would fight for them to NOT be in the custody of someone "so volatile and high conflict".

Again, a bad parent is one who leaves their children with an unfit caregiver. So either you dont care about your children being with an unfit caregiver, or you just dont want to care for them yourself. [/quote]

Ask yourself why you are so triggered at people relating that in some cases the mom in fact drove the dad off through toxic behavior and manipulation of the courts?
[/quote]
I'm not triggered, I'm saying it's incredibly rare. This is not statistically relevant. [/quote]

Its not rare, but most men know there is nothing that can be done because courts will not hold mom accountable.  You don't think it's not that common mom has an affair and leaves to be with her AP, taking the kids.  Then, makes AP the dad.  It's more common then you think.  It's also probably common that the dad's aren't the actual dads which is why they should require paternity testing at the hospital.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics