So are we to never have a husband-wife trip without kids for another 14 years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love travel but I travel with my kids only. I think it's shitty to leave your kids for a week.

I hope you say that to people's faces so they know who you really are.

+1 That part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love travel but I travel with my kids only. I think it's shitty to leave your kids for a week.

I hope you say that to people's faces so they know who you really are.

I sure do. Funny, I have a great marriage. My SIL who insisted on week vacations without kids from the time they were 4 months old---she divorced after 6 years.

I think some people just cope with parenting and life better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never felt the need to have parent-only trips during our kids' childhoods, OP, so I guess everyone's different. We enjoyed our family vacations. Having kids never felt like a sacrifice. Oldest is in college now.

Same

+1

Mostly the same. We left them overnight here and there but usually out of necessity (attending a wedding or other event). We’ve never both (at the same time) been a plane ride away from our kids- but our oldest hasn’t graduated HS yet. We’ll have plenty of time for that in a few years. It goes by so fast.

You actually don’t know that. Seems extreme to only vacation for 16-18 years or more with children in tow.

I love my children but also go away with only my husband and girls trips too. It’s important to me to have a life outside of my children and trips like these are fun and also help me appreciate my family life.

Focusing on only your kids for decades of life and then BOOM they are gone - will be a rude awakening and a challenging transition.

+1000

But PP, you'll never reason with these people. They'll just start asking you why you bothered to have kids at all if you were going to spend one week out of 52 each year away from them.

Honestly, this question is a great litmus test for when you meet new people - ask them if they'd ever spend a weekend away without their kids. If they say no, hard pass.

Good call - hard pass on the people who make it a litmus test. They are too black and white and not very creative.

It's ironic that you're not calling the people who say they will NEVER take time away from their kids the black-and-white thinkers...

Doesn’t sound like they are the ones dropping friendship.

What are you talking about? The point of using a litmus test is to decide if you're going to be friends with people, not to decide which friendships you're going to drop.

Ok. You are the only one refusing to get to know anyone because of their stance on vacations without children.

[Anonymous]

I don't get why this has become some weird face off between parents who travel without kids and those who don't. I've been a parent for 9 years and this has literally never come up in my interactions with other parents, I don't get it.

There are lots of different ways family set up their lives. People saying "if you travel without your kids you are a bad parent" and "if you never travel without your kids you have a bad marriage" are obviously both wrong and engaged in bizarre black and white thinking with little basis in reality.

Traveling without my kids makes no senses for us given our budget, resources, and the ages of our kids, but I don't judge anyone who does it. It's just not something that works for our family, at least not at the moment. It doesn't seem like a big deal to me either way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're so mad your mother in law is too old to do this and so anxious to blame your husband, you ignored a half dozen obvious solutions.

I understand now why marriages fade out.

Why are you assuming op is a wife? I was getting husband vibes or it could be same sex couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never felt the need to have parent-only trips during our kids' childhoods, OP, so I guess everyone's different. We enjoyed our family vacations. Having kids never felt like a sacrifice. Oldest is in college now.

Your medal is in the mail. Thank you so much for your contribution to this discussion.

dp Why are you so offended that pp did not want to go away without kids? I never did either but, don't begrudge anyone who does. Different families do different things! And no medal is required either way If friends told me that they are having a child free vacation I always said 'have fun!'

[Anonymous]

These responses 😬

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love travel but I travel with my kids only. I think it's shitty to leave your kids for a week.

I hope you say that to people's faces so they know who you really are.

I sure do. Funny, I have a great marriage. My SIL who insisted on week vacations without kids from the time they were 4 months old---she divorced after 6 years.

I think some people just cope with parenting and life better.

Wow, way to double down. Again, please make sure you say these things when you first meet people so they know who you are and can avoid you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never felt the need to have parent-only trips during our kids' childhoods, OP, so I guess everyone's different. We enjoyed our family vacations. Having kids never felt like a sacrifice. Oldest is in college now.

Same

+1

Mostly the same. We left them overnight here and there but usually out of necessity (attending a wedding or other event). We’ve never both (at the same time) been a plane ride away from our kids- but our oldest hasn’t graduated HS yet. We’ll have plenty of time for that in a few years. It goes by so fast.

You actually don’t know that. Seems extreme to only vacation for 16-18 years or more with children in tow.

I love my children but also go away with only my husband and girls trips too. It’s important to me to have a life outside of my children and trips like these are fun and also help me appreciate my family life.

Focusing on only your kids for decades of life and then BOOM they are gone - will be a rude awakening and a challenging transition.

+1000

But PP, you'll never reason with these people. They'll just start asking you why you bothered to have kids at all if you were going to spend one week out of 52 each year away from them.

Honestly, this question is a great litmus test for when you meet new people - ask them if they'd ever spend a weekend away without their kids. If they say no, hard pass.

Good call - hard pass on the people who make it a litmus test. They are too black and white and not very creative.

It's ironic that you're not calling the people who say they will NEVER take time away from their kids the black-and-white thinkers...

Doesn’t sound like they are the ones dropping friendship.

What are you talking about? The point of using a litmus test is to decide if you're going to be friends with people, not to decide which friendships you're going to drop.

Ok. You are the only one refusing to get to know anyone because of their stance on vacations without children.

Yeah, if someone approached the topic the way the PP did, I'm good because it's pretty clear that their line of thinking on that topic would extend to other issues and life is too short to be friends with people like that. I'm sure they can find their own tribe. I don't know why this bothers you so much - I wouldn't be remotely offended if someone didn't want to be friends with me because I am a working mom or because I have a hobby or because I spend time away from my kids or because I go on trips with my friends. Truly, I'm good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never felt the need to have parent-only trips during our kids' childhoods, OP, so I guess everyone's different. We enjoyed our family vacations. Having kids never felt like a sacrifice. Oldest is in college now.

Your medal is in the mail. Thank you so much for your contribution to this discussion.

dp Why are you so offended that pp did not want to go away without kids? I never did either but, don't begrudge anyone who does. Different families do different things! And no medal is required either way If friends told me that they are having a child free vacation I always said 'have fun!'

I'm sorry that you missed the sanctimony of the post. Perhaps certain things fall flat to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents never took a weekend away just them. That is a newer trend among the affluent and those with young local family. We took one vacation without our kids and our younger one cried for us. Didn’t vacation without the kids for another 15 years.

Mine did. I'm 46. This isn't a "trend."

I’m 48 and I don’t know one family that took a weekend away trip without their kids from my childhood at all. This was not a thing if your parents did it was certainly an exception. It is a trend that more younger people are doing it now, but in the past, people did not have the time or the resources to take weekend away trips without their kids.

[Anonymous]

You take time off work for day dates and have sex while the kids are in a hot childcare. We had one child free trip in the 21 years we had minor children living at home - 5 days long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You take time off work for day dates and have sex while the kids are in a hot childcare. We had one child free trip in the 21 years we had minor children living at home - 5 days long.

Sorry - school or daycare not a hot childcare

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is second generation Italian, and his family is always eager to watch our kids whenever needed. Sometimes, MIL just comes over and takes the kids. In fact, we're abroad right now and have been for a few days now, MIL is with the kids. Whether it's for travel, work, or just a normal Monday, they’re happy to help out for however long. Our kids are only 11 months, 2 years, 4 years old, and we mostly travel without them at this point. Usually, MIL, who’s 54, watches them, and sometimes one of his sisters, married w/kids or single, will step in. They all do it willingly and never say no. Honestly, without their help, I don’t think we'd be able to take vacations without the kids, so we are so incredibly grateful.

Wow! My mil was 60 when our oldest was born. You are lucky

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love travel but I travel with my kids only. I think it's shitty to leave your kids for a week.

I hope you say that to people's faces so they know who you really are.

I sure do. Funny, I have a great marriage. My SIL who insisted on week vacations without kids from the time they were 4 months old---she divorced after 6 years.

I think some people just cope with parenting and life better.

I hope that smugness bites you right in the butt