So are we to never have a husband-wife trip without kids for another 14 years?

[Anonymous]

I have paid Nannie’s and babysitters to stay for the weekend over the years. Only
Once they were trusted. My aunt and uncle who were 10 years younger than the grandparents stay with the kids once a year for 8-12 days, but I have sitters that come in and give them a break.

[Anonymous]

We don't have family we can leave our kids with for extended periods (but we have let our kids sleep at grandparents' houses for a night so we could have a local date night), but with kids in middle elementary, I think we'll be able to travel solo, at least for a weekend away, within the next few years. By 8/9 kids are a lot more independent. We've already talked with other families about trading weekend with kids to give each other a break for anniversaries or a big birthday -- I'd happily host their kids for a couple nights and it sounds like they'd do the same.

We've also started looking into sleep away camp. I never thought our DD would be interested in that but she recently made a kind of leap forward in maturity and now I could totally see it and she seems interested.

So no, I don't think you have to wait another 14 years.

I think the people who have relatives they can leave kids with for days at a time are in the minority. I only know a couple people who have this as an option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was speaking with my spouse about getting a weekend away together just the two of us - we need some time to reconnect. We have two young kids. My MIL lives locally, but is getting older. We haven't taken a solo trip together since when our first was an infant and my mother watched him for a weekend.

Asked my spouse if we could inquire with MIL about doing a weekend away in 2025. Spouse put the kibosh on that quickly, saying MIL is too old to watch two young kids.

So - is this it? We won't be taking another kid-free trip until our youngest is 16 and can stay home alone?

If so, I can now understand why marriages fade out.

What the hell do other people do? Or are you with your kids 24/7?

There's no one you can possibly have stay with your kids besides your aging mother-in-law? lol...ok then. Binary thinking usually doesn't land you in a good place.

[Anonymous]

We went on an anniversary weekend almost every year for at least an overnight.

Used babysitters typically.

This is a solvable problem.

[Anonymous]

When my kids were infants, we would do resorts like Club Med with a baby club. My kids also went to an income daycare. The daycare provider was willing to watch for an overnight with enough notice.

As young elem kids, there were opportunities to do sleep over exchanges with other families and then when the kids went to sleep away camp, that was also an opportunity.

[Anonymous]

We never felt the need to have parent-only trips during our kids' childhoods, OP, so I guess everyone's different. We enjoyed our family vacations. Having kids never felt like a sacrifice. Oldest is in college now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Couple of things:

I have an almost 16 year old, and I would not take a trip and leave them home alone. 16 seems like an adult when you have tiny kids: 16 is NOT an adult.

If you have the funds to take a trip, you can hire a sitter, right? Or you can find another family that you trust and perhaps even trade off with them for the weekend on occasion. Also, he may change his mind about his mom. Do you have siblings? If they come to visit, perhaps they can extend their visit for a few days for you an DH to get away.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go to a resort with good childcare.

This is what we did

[Anonymous]

Hire a nanny to go on the trip with you. The kids will be nearby to ease your worry but will be "out of your hair" so to speak, so you can enjoy alone time.

This is a pretty common thing. DD did this a few summers ago while home from college. She only worked when the couple went on two vacations that summer. It was all expenses paid for her. She was given 1 night off during the first 7-day trip and then given a full day off and 1 evening off during their 15-day trip. The couple's usual nanny did not attend either trip, and instead used them being away as her vacation time.

DD was given an itinerary for the first trip as it happened 5 days after she was hired, but for the second trip, the parents allowed her to create her own itinerary for herself and the kids that they approved. The kids were 5 and 8, so they didn't need as long to bond with DD before the trips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't that why kids do short sleepaway camps?

At which age do kids go away to camp?

If you have 2-3 kids, it might be a good 10 years until an adults-only trip via sleepaway camp.

This. We went exactly 10 years with no alone trips. Also agree with the PP about not leaving a 16-year old home alone. Too young.

[Anonymous]

You're so mad your mother in law is too old to do this and so anxious to blame your husband, you ignored a half dozen obvious solutions.

I understand now why marriages fade out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was speaking with my spouse about getting a weekend away together just the two of us - we need some time to reconnect. We have two young kids. My MIL lives locally, but is getting older. We haven't taken a solo trip together since when our first was an infant and my mother watched him for a weekend.

Asked my spouse if we could inquire with MIL about doing a weekend away in 2025. Spouse put the kibosh on that quickly, saying MIL is too old to watch two young kids.

So - is this it? We won't be taking another kid-free trip until our youngest is 16 and can stay home alone?

If so, I can now understand why marriages fade out.

What the hell do other people do? Or are you with your kids 24/7?

Sleep-away camp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're so mad your mother in law is too old to do this and so anxious to blame your husband, you ignored a half dozen obvious solutions.

I understand now why marriages fade out.

OP is a dude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're so mad your mother in law is too old to do this and so anxious to blame your husband, you ignored a half dozen obvious solutions.

I understand now why marriages fade out.

OP is a dude.

Makes the crying butthurt attitude even worse.

[Anonymous]

You can hire someone or go to a place with childcare. I don’t know. This has never been a big issue for us and we don’t have anyone who can stay with our kids while we go on a trip. Kids grow up fast.