So are we to never have a husband-wife trip without kids for another 14 years?

[Anonymous]

When our kid became a tween/teen he had activities/parties, etc at night so we'd do a date night then. I prefer to travel with my kid. My mom lives locally but will not help. You find ways.

[Anonymous]

Not familiar with sleepaway camps. Looked up a random one in WV. It is $2K for 1 week session during summer. Is this a typical rate? Thanks in advance.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the families and their chill level.

We left DS with a nanny for the weekend when he was 1. At age 4, we left him with Grandma and grandad for a week when we went to Asia. Since then, he's been left with them a ton of times for up to a week. At age 10 he started doing a week at sleep away camp.

He is on the ASD spectrum with a lot of social deficits so were never able to get close enough with other families to do a switcharoo. Now he's a teen, we probably could. But we don't the the need, what with camp and my parents.

DH and I have always been pretty chill about this. Other friends of ours are not chill. My neighbor has super nerdy twin daughters who are 17, and she would never leave them with anyone -- too much anxiety. In fact, one of them is in a school activity with a trip every year, and my friend insists on chaperoning still, even at age 17. And they sent the daughters to one of those sleep away one week academic summer camps at a prestigious college last summer, and my friend took a week off work and stayed 30 minutes away the whole week. I can't imagine living with that level of anxiety, but it is not uncommon. If your wife is one of those, you may be stuck, OP.

[Anonymous]

You’re being very dramatic.

The most obvious solution is to hire a weekend nanny. It sounds like that’s cost prohibitive for you.

Okay. Next option:

Once your kids are in elementary school, it’s fairly easy to arrange sleepovers with friends. Yes, you’ll have to start with one night and work your way up to a weekend, but it’s doable. Obviously, you’ll have to reciprocate too so keep it in mind.

Realistically, there’s a period of roughly 4 or 5 years where it’s logistically difficult. After that, it’s just a matter of setting up sleepovers.

[Anonymous]

When my DCs were young, we only did a few overnights (for weddings or whatever) and otherwise traveled solo when they were away at summer camp.

[Anonymous]

My 19 year old is disabled and will never live alone and is difficult to care for. We have never had a vacation alone and never will.

[Anonymous]

Happily married 20 years. Haven’t taken a trip with spouse in 10+ years. It is what it is. We’ve got 5 more years until youngest goes to college. Not leaving her alone at 16.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re being very dramatic.

The most obvious solution is to hire a weekend nanny. It sounds like that’s cost prohibitive for you.

Okay. Next option:

Once your kids are in elementary school, it’s fairly easy to arrange sleepovers with friends. Yes, you’ll have to start with one night and work your way up to a weekend, but it’s doable. Obviously, you’ll have to reciprocate too so keep it in mind.

Realistically, there’s a period of roughly 4 or 5 years where it’s logistically difficult. After that, it’s just a matter of setting up sleepovers.

An entire weekend is different than a sleepover.

[Anonymous]

Well, we never got one and probably won’t until the kids are in college. It’s not something most people are able to do, OP. You’ll survive.

[Anonymous]

My parents never took a weekend away just them. That is a newer trend among the affluent and those with young local family. We took one vacation without our kids and our younger one cried for us. Didn’t vacation without the kids for another 15 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 19 year old is disabled and will never live alone and is difficult to care for. We have never had a vacation alone and never will.

You may qualify for respite care depending on where you live. You need a break. I know a woman who was taking care of her severely disabled child into their middle age. She was a wonderful and loving woman but she did not sleep through the night caring for her child. Ever. She did, however, get a week or two a year where she could travel and take advantage of respite care. Personally, I think it would keep me alive.

[Anonymous]

When I had kids I had no expectation that I would have anyone to watch them for weekends or longer (some people have this kind of family help, many don’t). Time is flying- my oldest will be in college (hopefully!) in 5 years and by the time the youngest goes off to college we should (hopefully) have many years together and we will miss the good old days with the kids. Life is stages but this is par for the course with kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Couple of things:

I have an almost 16 year old, and I would not take a trip and leave them home alone. 16 seems like an adult when you have tiny kids: 16 is NOT an adult.

If you have the funds to take a trip, you can hire a sitter, right? Or you can find another family that you trust and perhaps even trade off with them for the weekend on occasion. Also, he may change his mind about his mom. Do you have siblings? If they come to visit, perhaps they can extend their visit for a few days for you an DH to get away.

Which sitters watch your kids all weekend? Vast majority of sitters in this area are HS girls and college students who can barely text back their availability in a punctual manner...let alone watch your kids for an entire weekend.

We live in MoCo and I don't know of any other families using overnight sitters. Or at least they are not advertising it publicly!

Professional nannies $350 a night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re being very dramatic.

The most obvious solution is to hire a weekend nanny. It sounds like that’s cost prohibitive for you.

Okay. Next option:

Once your kids are in elementary school, it’s fairly easy to arrange sleepovers with friends. Yes, you’ll have to start with one night and work your way up to a weekend, but it’s doable. Obviously, you’ll have to reciprocate too so keep it in mind.

Realistically, there’s a period of roughly 4 or 5 years where it’s logistically difficult. After that, it’s just a matter of setting up sleepovers.

An entire weekend is different than a sleepover.

Is it? Leave Saturday morning, come back Sunday afternoon?

[Anonymous]

You don’t need adult only trips: I did not do it, my parents did not, his parents did not, grandparents did not. Most people don’t do this. Grow up.