Svelte teen girls -- being the ugly duckling in a school of swans

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have not read the entire thread but back in the 70's, 80's and 90's all kids in public schools were normal weights. Even kids in poorer areas of Maryland were normal weight. In my classes we probably had 1 student who might have been 10 or 15 pounds heavier but there was not the morbid obesity of today.

Students and families maintained their weight by eating 3 healthy meals a day. We did not have snacks between meals.

Girls did sports but not at the level of today.

WTF? I'm 52 and I remember as a kid riding my bike to 7-11 and loading up on candy.
I spent many an hour in my teens on the couch vegging out to MTV with a bowl of chips of melted cheese.

Agree. Snacking is not a new thing and I feel like we actually might have done more snacking on junk food because I felt like we were less closely watched and less overscheduled. I remember a lot of going to the store for snacks and also the food court in the mall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teen girls are usually thin and weigh 100 pounds.

You don't know many athletes, do you?

This thread illustrates just how girls get eating disorders.

PP doesn’t know many teens, athletes or otherwise.

I have two teen sons. Both play 3 sports each.

My daughter is only in elementary and everyone is stick skinny. I occasionally see a large girl in ballet but in her actual school, I can’t think of any large girls.

All my kids are thin. My boys are muscular.

I haven't been a hundred lbs since 5th grade. You haven't even listed a height with that weight. I assure you my 5'7" teen would look skeletal at 100 lbs.

I agree. Even my very slim (23 in waist at almost 17) daughter is 108-115. When she was 100lb she was struggling with disordered eating. And this was when she was more like 14. I can’t imagine my daughter any smaller, at 5’4.5.

I do think 115-120 might be a typical weight for girls this age. If any are 100 lb theY are well below average height and frame. I know she only has one friend who is overweight. And I know this is tough for this girl to be the fat friend. Very few girls I see are big even at our regular public school

I’m the person who wrote the 100 pound comment. I don’t actually know how much any of these girls weigh. They look skinny to me. My also thin boys weigh around 120-130 pounds. These girls are shorter and thinner so I just assumed they weigh 100. They probably weigh 110-120? I weigh 125 pounds and they are significantly skinner than I am.

Thank you for confirming my long held suspicion that everyone on DCUM is absolutely cr*p about guessing weight. But instead of saying that, they like to spout off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BMI of 25 would be roughly 5’5” and 150 lbs, which isn’t abnormal for a 45 year old woman but I can see it sticking out a little bit for a ritzy private HS kid. Cut way back on snacks, sweets, cook and eat more meals at home/much less restaurant food. It’s easy for the teen age range to drop weight quickly. Also make sure she looks good in her clothes - bras that actually fit and don’t cause back fat and lumps, pants that are the right size and aren’t giving muffin top. Physical activity is important, but just “doing a sport” alone isn’t going to really move the needle on weight if the diet doesn’t improve.

That is some mental weight gymnastic! I am 54, almost 5'5", and weigh 125 lbs. I have a belly and fat in my belly. If I were 150, I would be fat, as plain as that.
Now, you are comparing a teen's weight to grown older women. Teens at that weight are overweight. OP and the child's father are responsible for this, not the child. And now you are telling her mom to help her hide her fat? Hence, teach the kid to be ashamed of her looks. Everything you wrote is messed up. OP needs to accept her responsibility and apologizes to her daughter.

Adults are responsible for their actions, kids are not, not when it comes to weight.

This might be the craziest response yet.

This response is only crazy to people like you who deny their failures. You are a narcissist who knows nothing better than to insult people. You have not argument, let alone a scientific one, to prove a single thing said is wrong. Your poor child has to grow up with a narcissist who abuses them because that is how you get any modicum of self-esteem. It is clear that you are happy your child is overweight or has some other issue. If not weight, you would find something else to abuse them about.

That PP was mistaken. This is the craziest response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow - what is up with these DCUM posters, imagine how angry and sad one must be to go on an anonymous group like this and get your jollies off berating parents looking for advice. Like I’m always shocked at the pathetic responses. Like….people enjoy this?

Anyway yes this is big for a high school girl. Blame game helps no one. It’s likely a lot of different factors. And the situation isn’t changing overnight. Keep her busy, buy healthy food for the house and if you can throw a little money on hair, makeup, dermatologist, the right clothing etc so at least everything else is on point. A pretty girl with perfect blonde highlights, great skin, and great style can get away with being a little bigger.

This is the grossest thread - so everyone should aim to be as close as possible to a little thin blond girl?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow - what is up with these DCUM posters, imagine how angry and sad one must be to go on an anonymous group like this and get your jollies off berating parents looking for advice. Like I’m always shocked at the pathetic responses. Like….people enjoy this?

Anyway yes this is big for a high school girl. Blame game helps no one. It’s likely a lot of different factors. And the situation isn’t changing overnight. Keep her busy, buy healthy food for the house and if you can throw a little money on hair, makeup, dermatologist, the right clothing etc so at least everything else is on point. A pretty girl with perfect blonde highlights, great skin, and great style can get away with being a little bigger.

This is the grossest thread - so everyone should aim to be as close as possible to a little thin blond girl?

little thin white blond girl?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of disordered eating amongst high school girls.

As we can see, perpetuated by their mothers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow - what is up with these DCUM posters, imagine how angry and sad one must be to go on an anonymous group like this and get your jollies off berating parents looking for advice. Like I’m always shocked at the pathetic responses. Like….people enjoy this?

Anyway yes this is big for a high school girl. Blame game helps no one. It’s likely a lot of different factors. And the situation isn’t changing overnight. Keep her busy, buy healthy food for the house and if you can throw a little money on hair, makeup, dermatologist, the right clothing etc so at least everything else is on point. A pretty girl with perfect blonde highlights, great skin, and great style can get away with being a little bigger.

This is the grossest thread - so everyone should aim to be as close as possible to a little thin blond girl?

little thin white blond girl?

Someone posted upthread that rich athletic men marry skinny or thin athletic women.

I do think most men would prefer a not fat woman so if you are a rich successful man and have lots of options, you will likely pick someone thin. Then those people procreate more thin children.

[Anonymous]

Start closing the kitchen and only buy healthy foods!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Start closing the kitchen and only buy healthy foods!

How do you “close” the kitchen?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Start closing the kitchen and only buy healthy foods!

How do you “close” the kitchen?

It’s called “rules” silly. Those are things that children of adequate parents are already familiar with by the time they’re teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Start closing the kitchen and only buy healthy foods!

How do you “close” the kitchen?

It’s called “rules” silly. Those are things that children of adequate parents are already familiar with by the time they’re teens.

m
So then you plan to set out consequences for a 14 year old who eat at off times?

[Anonymous]

My friend who has a chubby 10 year old son has eliminated all junk food from their house. You could start with that.

I was just with some friends who are middle aged and trying to lose weight. They keep calories under 1200 per day and exercise daily. I would encourage exercise whether it is running, biking, yoga, dance, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Start closing the kitchen and only buy healthy foods!

How do you “close” the kitchen?

It’s called “rules” silly. Those are things that children of adequate parents are already familiar with by the time they’re teens.

m
So then you plan to set out consequences for a 14 year old who eat at off times?

I have boys who eat at off times but they are athletes.

OP’s daughter has to want to lose weight. I don’t think OP can force her.

[Anonymous]

Protein.

I have been overweight my entire life. Finally losing. Always thought I ate relatively healthy. Nope. Too many (lower nutrition) carbs and not enough protein. Not saying keto level of rigidity. Just prioritizing protein at meals.

And then just make sure she's moving each day. Take walks together after dinner. Tell her you are doing it for you..but would love the company if she's up for it. Also a great time to just chat about life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Protein.

I have been overweight my entire life. Finally losing. Always thought I ate relatively healthy. Nope. Too many (lower nutrition) carbs and not enough protein. Not saying keto level of rigidity. Just prioritizing protein at meals.

And then just make sure she's moving each day. Take walks together after dinner. Tell her you are doing it for you..but would love the company if she's up for it. Also a great time to just chat about life.

My lean boys are trying to gain weight and eat more protein. I’m not sure this is the answer.