Question for the smart girls who snag the good guys early in life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We teach women they don't need to even start getting serious about men until their early 30s. By then, a single 32-year-old man is looking for a woman in her 20s.

We can mock the women who settled down in their early 20s as not being modern, ambitious, independent, motivated, or smart. Women are told that making marriage a priority in her 20s makes her a loser.

Then she gets into her 30s and says "I'm ready to settle down" and she can't find anyone.

A woman who makes marriage a priority at age 23 is sort of a rebel today. Seriously. She is going against the grain of her peers, bucking the message society keeps sending her and doing the opposite.

Maybe it's the message society is sending you?

x 1000

Has anyone else noticed that hookup culture hasn’t really benefitted women at all? It’s nice that we don’t have to marry the first dude we sleep with anymore! So that was progress. But it didn’t stop there and somehow that’s morphed into a bunch of Peter Pans who are socially validated into staying single until their late thirties!

Anyway, why assume a woman who gets married at 23 doesn’t have a job? I would assume that’s rare. People usually don’t quit until the kids come along.

💯

This is why rich girls from gen z are getting married earlier than their gen x and millennial sisters…they saw how things didn’t work out that great for the previous generatio

So true! It isn’t like:
Misogyny is still a thing. Or the former President glorified sexual harassment and assult or that Roe vs. Wade is gone in many areas.

Nope, just those Gen Z girls are SMART, nothing else to see here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, you may think that these women are very smart that they managed to snag the good guys early in life, but I can assure you that it is the guys who are doing the chasing. These good guys -
- think that these women are exceptional and they must snag them fast,
- they don't hesitate to put a ring on it ASAP
- reach their potential as good husband/good father/good earner mainly because they have the backing of the smart girls.

Remember that men can have it all - a fulfilling career, good money, great married life and happy/healthy/high achieving kids. These good guys want the perfect woman who can help them to become successful in professional and personal life.

So it is not the smart girls who snag the good guys early in life, but it is the good guys who don't let the smart girls walk away from them. And when these guys meet these girls they do not wait. They recognize what an asset the right wife is. They also want the right mother for their future children. The marriage-shy, committment-phobic man marries quickly and becomes the perfect man, once he finds the perfect woman.

Don't underestimate men. They will chase down and marry the right woman.

I think this is true. My now husband and I were dating in grad school. We were in love and I was very happy with our dating relationship. He’s the one who proposed and wanted to get married at a certain point.

Now, years later, he has told me that he started to get worried that if he waited too long, I might find someone else I liked better, so he thought, whoa, maybe I should “lock her down”! We laugh about this now because I was extremely loyal to him, even in difficult circumstances, so it is funny to me that he was worried about that. We’ve had a great long term marriage with great kids- we both knew that we were the right ones for each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We teach women they don't need to even start getting serious about men until their early 30s. By then, a single 32-year-old man is looking for a woman in her 20s.

We can mock the women who settled down in their early 20s as not being modern, ambitious, independent, motivated, or smart. Women are told that making marriage a priority in her 20s makes her a loser.

Then she gets into her 30s and says "I'm ready to settle down" and she can't find anyone.

A woman who makes marriage a priority at age 23 is sort of a rebel today. Seriously. She is going against the grain of her peers, bucking the message society keeps sending her and doing the opposite.

Maybe it's the message society is sending you?

x 1000

Has anyone else noticed that hookup culture hasn’t really benefitted women at all? It’s nice that we don’t have to marry the first dude we sleep with anymore! So that was progress. But it didn’t stop there and somehow that’s morphed into a bunch of Peter Pans who are socially validated into staying single until their late thirties!

Anyway, why assume a woman who gets married at 23 doesn’t have a job? I would assume that’s rare. People usually don’t quit until the kids come along.

💯

This is why rich girls from gen z are getting married earlier than their gen x and millennial sisters…they saw how things didn’t work out that great for the previous generatio

So true! It isn’t like:
Misogyny is still a thing. Or the former President glorified sexual harassment and assult or that Roe vs. Wade is gone in many areas.

Nope, just those Gen Z girls are SMART, nothing else to see here.

Yes, educated 24 year old women are marrying because of misogyny and Former President Trump. They have no agency, they merely follow orders from old people’s political miasmas they got from the TV.

[Anonymous]

Even if you’re a high earning single guy in your 30’s you still have to meet women’s looks requirements. I’m short (5’4) and high earning, and get practically no matches from anyone who I find remotely attractive on dating apps. I’ve tried experimenting with changing my height and setting it to 5’10 and the results are very different, so I know it’s height that kills me. I’m thinking about going abroad to find a wife or otherwise stay single. So women here who complain they can’t find a guy with a decent job are still going to reject lots of successful men due to other factors. They want the whole package: high earning, good looking, tall, charismatic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even if you’re a high earning single guy in your 30’s you still have to meet women’s looks requirements. I’m short (5’4) and high earning, and get practically no matches from anyone who I find remotely attractive on dating apps. I’ve tried experimenting with changing my height and setting it to 5’10 and the results are very different, so I know it’s height that kills me. I’m thinking about going abroad to find a wife or otherwise stay single. So women here who complain they can’t find a guy with a decent job are still going to reject lots of successful men due to other factors. They want the whole package: high earning, good looking, tall, charismatic.

Go abroad. Seriously. You don’t even have to go to asia. Spain, Portugal, Colombia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even if you’re a high earning single guy in your 30’s you still have to meet women’s looks requirements. I’m short (5’4) and high earning, and get practically no matches from anyone who I find remotely attractive on dating apps. I’ve tried experimenting with changing my height and setting it to 5’10 and the results are very different, so I know it’s height that kills me. I’m thinking about going abroad to find a wife or otherwise stay single. So women here who complain they can’t find a guy with a decent job are still going to reject lots of successful men due to other factors. They want the whole package: high earning, good looking, tall, charismatic.

I do feel sorry for you. But do you receive a response from women who are themselves in 5'2-5'4 range? Or you yourself prefer women who are taller than you? My grandfather was 5'4 and grandmother 5'8. He always wanted to marry a tall woman because he didn't want his future sons suffer. He ended up having three tall daughters with my grandmother :0) But his male grand kids are indeed all tall (men 6'3 and taller, taking my grand mother's stature). It was after the WW2 and grandma didn't have a choice of tall guys to go around, but she ended up in a happy marriage.

I am 5'8 and generally prefer to date 5'8 and taller guys, just so I could wear hills and not be mounting over him. But I did date a 5'7 guy once, he had a great personality and I regret leaving him. I think you'll do fine if you specifically are not looking only for taller women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, you may think that these women are very smart that they managed to snag the good guys early in life, but I can assure you that it is the guys who are doing the chasing. These good guys -
- think that these women are exceptional and they must snag them fast,
- they don't hesitate to put a ring on it ASAP
- reach their potential as good husband/good father/good earner mainly because they have the backing of the smart girls.

Remember that men can have it all - a fulfilling career, good money, great married life and happy/healthy/high achieving kids. These good guys want the perfect woman who can help them to become successful in professional and personal life.

So it is not the smart girls who snag the good guys early in life, but it is the good guys who don't let the smart girls walk away from them. And when these guys meet these girls they do not wait. They recognize what an asset the right wife is. They also want the right mother for their future children. The marriage-shy, committment-phobic man marries quickly and becomes the perfect man, once he finds the perfect woman.

Don't underestimate men. They will chase down and marry the right woman.

Lol. My commitment phobic boyfriends remained unmarried for quite a long time. They were commitment phobic because of unresolved issues from their childhoods. Don’t romanticize the commitment phobic men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, you may think that these women are very smart that they managed to snag the good guys early in life, but I can assure you that it is the guys who are doing the chasing. These good guys -
- think that these women are exceptional and they must snag them fast,
- they don't hesitate to put a ring on it ASAP
- reach their potential as good husband/good father/good earner mainly because they have the backing of the smart girls.

Remember that men can have it all - a fulfilling career, good money, great married life and happy/healthy/high achieving kids. These good guys want the perfect woman who can help them to become successful in professional and personal life.

So it is not the smart girls who snag the good guys early in life, but it is the good guys who don't let the smart girls walk away from them. And when these guys meet these girls they do not wait. They recognize what an asset the right wife is. They also want the right mother for their future children. The marriage-shy, committment-phobic man marries quickly and becomes the perfect man, once he finds the perfect woman.

Don't underestimate men. They will chase down and marry the right woman.

I think this is true. My now husband and I were dating in grad school. We were in love and I was very happy with our dating relationship. He’s the one who proposed and wanted to get married at a certain point.

Now, years later, he has told me that he started to get worried that if he waited too long, I might find someone else I liked better, so he thought, whoa, maybe I should “lock her down”! We laugh about this now because I was extremely loyal to him, even in difficult circumstances, so it is funny to me that he was worried about that. We’ve had a great long term marriage with great kids- we both knew that we were the right ones for each other.

Agree. It’s why my husband who swore he’d wait until 30 if he ever got married at all…put a ring on it 1.5 years after meeting me when he was 24.5. He married about 6-7 years before his friends. I was quickly absorbed into the bro group as a trusted member and advisor to the friends. They always wanted my approval on girlfriends.

He also would have waited until he was older but didn’t want to lose me. And we use the “lock it down” quote all the time back then. Lol

The good ones on both sides go fast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if you’re a high earning single guy in your 30’s you still have to meet women’s looks requirements. I’m short (5’4) and high earning, and get practically no matches from anyone who I find remotely attractive on dating apps. I’ve tried experimenting with changing my height and setting it to 5’10 and the results are very different, so I know it’s height that kills me. I’m thinking about going abroad to find a wife or otherwise stay single. So women here who complain they can’t find a guy with a decent job are still going to reject lots of successful men due to other factors. They want the whole package: high earning, good looking, tall, charismatic.

I do feel sorry for you. But do you receive a response from women who are themselves in 5'2-5'4 range? Or you yourself prefer women who are taller than you? My grandfather was 5'4 and grandmother 5'8. He always wanted to marry a tall woman because he didn't want his future sons suffer. He ended up having three tall daughters with my grandmother :0) But his male grand kids are indeed all tall (men 6'3 and taller, taking my grand mother's stature). It was after the WW2 and grandma didn't have a choice of tall guys to go around, but she ended up in a happy marriage.

I am 5'8 and generally prefer to date 5'8 and taller guys, just so I could wear hills and not be mounting over him. But I did date a 5'7 guy once, he had a great personality and I regret leaving him. I think you'll do fine if you specifically are not looking only for taller women.

I don’t care about height when choosing a female partner, there are pros and cons for me to date taller/shorter women. I feel like I stick out less in public with a woman my height or shorter, but I would have taller offspring with a woman taller than me. I do find it a bit F’ed up that people will justify discriminating against a partner on height based on not wanting their kids to be discriminated against, it becomes an endless cycle. Imagine someone said they didn’t want to have kids with a black person because their mixed black offspring would face discrimination. I’ve dated women 3-4 inches taller and didn’t feel less attracted to them. It’s generally women who care more about height, men don’t seem to have a problem being attracted to taller women. I would say as long as she’s 5’8 or shorter I would be just fine, if she’s 5’10+ that might get a bit too weird for me but I would still be attracted to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, you may think that these women are very smart that they managed to snag the good guys early in life, but I can assure you that it is the guys who are doing the chasing. These good guys -
- think that these women are exceptional and they must snag them fast,
- they don't hesitate to put a ring on it ASAP
- reach their potential as good husband/good father/good earner mainly because they have the backing of the smart girls.

Remember that men can have it all - a fulfilling career, good money, great married life and happy/healthy/high achieving kids. These good guys want the perfect woman who can help them to become successful in professional and personal life.

So it is not the smart girls who snag the good guys early in life, but it is the good guys who don't let the smart girls walk away from them. And when these guys meet these girls they do not wait. They recognize what an asset the right wife is. They also want the right mother for their future children. The marriage-shy, committment-phobic man marries quickly and becomes the perfect man, once he finds the perfect woman.

Don't underestimate men. They will chase down and marry the right woman.

Lol. My commitment phobic boyfriends remained unmarried for quite a long time. They were commitment phobic because of unresolved issues from their childhoods. Don’t romanticize the commitment phobic men.

Not romanticizing the committment phobic men. Either your boyfriend was not a "good man" or you were not the "smart girl" for him. It is as simple as that. Men pursue the women they think are worth it, and rather persistently too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, you may think that these women are very smart that they managed to snag the good guys early in life, but I can assure you that it is the guys who are doing the chasing. These good guys -
- think that these women are exceptional and they must snag them fast,
- they don't hesitate to put a ring on it ASAP
- reach their potential as good husband/good father/good earner mainly because they have the backing of the smart girls.

Remember that men can have it all - a fulfilling career, good money, great married life and happy/healthy/high achieving kids. These good guys want the perfect woman who can help them to become successful in professional and personal life.

So it is not the smart girls who snag the good guys early in life, but it is the good guys who don't let the smart girls walk away from them. And when these guys meet these girls they do not wait. They recognize what an asset the right wife is. They also want the right mother for their future children. The marriage-shy, committment-phobic man marries quickly and becomes the perfect man, once he finds the perfect woman.

Don't underestimate men. They will chase down and marry the right woman.

I think this is true. My now husband and I were dating in grad school. We were in love and I was very happy with our dating relationship. He’s the one who proposed and wanted to get married at a certain point.

Now, years later, he has told me that he started to get worried that if he waited too long, I might find someone else I liked better, so he thought, whoa, maybe I should “lock her down”! We laugh about this now because I was extremely loyal to him, even in difficult circumstances, so it is funny to me that he was worried about that. We’ve had a great long term marriage with great kids- we both knew that we were the right ones for each other.

Agree. It’s why my husband who swore he’d wait until 30 if he ever got married at all…put a ring on it 1.5 years after meeting me when he was 24.5. He married about 6-7 years before his friends. I was quickly absorbed into the bro group as a trusted member and advisor to the friends. They always wanted my approval on girlfriends.

He also would have waited until he was older but didn’t want to lose me. And we use the “lock it down” quote all the time back then. Lol

The good ones on both sides go fast.

Same, we were 24/25, though neither of us had any thought of marrying that young when we were still in college. It was his idea to marry, but he didn’t have to talk me into it- we both just felt it was right for us to be together. And it has worked out really well for us, more than 3 1/2 decades later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The answer here is easy. Most women marry a man just like their father. I had a fantastic father and knew just what to look for in a spouse and future father of my children. I always felt like I was worthy of love and deserved it.

Yup. I married a brilliant but short-tempered and deeply flawed man. You live what you learned, it seems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The answer here is easy. Most women marry a man just like their father. I had a fantastic father and knew just what to look for in a spouse and future father of my children. I always felt like I was worthy of love and deserved it.

+1
My grandfather was a wonderful father, my dad was a wonderful father and my DH is a wonderful father too. Not worried about DD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:don't go for looks; go for the slightly nerdy guys who will treat you like a queen and who aren't into partying.

My sister's goal was to marry an engineer, which she did at 23.

Who are these guys and how to identify them?

Hang out in the engineering department, and not the frat boy party houses, for one.

Yep, go for brains. Good looks fade or put on weight; brains last longer.

[Anonymous]

Snagging the right person is about coming together for the right reasons. If you aren’t enjoying time in their company when you’re dating, you certainly won’t enjoy them when you’re married and dealing with life’s pressures together. If you wait until you’re thirty to start figuring out what that means and what that looks like in an individual, you may get lucky but the numbers start dwindling and you may be stuck with what’s left. People who are kind, driven, whole enough to want to pursue marriage fully and completely do not stay available for very long.