Question for the smart girls who snag the good guys early in life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In reference to the other thread where it was concluded that the good guys with the potential to make good money are always paired up very early in life- in college or before. This makes me feel major FOMO because in high school and college, I had 0 idea what a “marriage material” guy was and how to identify them. But I had a roomate, I recall, who had been dating her engineer bf since hs. They were monogamous throughout college and he went to an Ivy League across the country. They already had it all mapped out. What jobs they were going to do; how many kids they would have.

How did she know so early what’s a good guy? And how to keep him?

I was so clueless and only now in my thirties am remembering the things she said about marriage and husbands.

Who teaches these girls? How they know? What do they know?

Funny that I was just having a similar discussion with my high school son the other day about this topic. He was telling me most of the girls he knows seem to be attracted to jerky guys who don't treat them that well. My DS isn't a saint, and definitely isn't a doormat. Enjoys music, playing tennis and cross country, and can be a bit "cerebral" when it comes to philosophical discussions. He also isn't big on social media and prefer to talk to people rather than hang on the phone all day. I think girls think he's an odd ball for not having an instagram account or not being on snapchat. He does not even swear. For me, he's a great guy -- funny, athletic, enjoys cooking and probably on the nerdy side when it comes to academics. Yet, it seems like girls only see him as friends and nothing outside of that at this point. I tried to explain to him that he's growing into a great human being, but that sometimes girls don't appreciate people like him until they are older. He tells me that I'm his mom and that I'm supposed to say nice things to boost his confidence.

I think women can be kinda dumb. We chase the bad boys and then wonder why they treat us so poorly.

Your son is the male version of my DD. Boys can be equally dumb because I am not hearing about any special admirers. She also pretty (in addition to the other qualities you’ve listed).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In reference to the other thread where it was concluded that the good guys with the potential to make good money are always paired up very early in life- in college or before. This makes me feel major FOMO because in high school and college, I had 0 idea what a “marriage material” guy was and how to identify them. But I had a roomate, I recall, who had been dating her engineer bf since hs. They were monogamous throughout college and he went to an Ivy League across the country. They already had it all mapped out. What jobs they were going to do; how many kids they would have.

How did she know so early what’s a good guy? And how to keep him?

I was so clueless and only now in my thirties am remembering the things she said about marriage and husbands.

Who teaches these girls? How they know? What do they know?

Funny that I was just having a similar discussion with my high school son the other day about this topic. He was telling me most of the girls he knows seem to be attracted to jerky guys who don't treat them that well. My DS isn't a saint, and definitely isn't a doormat. Enjoys music, playing tennis and cross country, and can be a bit "cerebral" when it comes to philosophical discussions. He also isn't big on social media and prefer to talk to people rather than hang on the phone all day. I think girls think he's an odd ball for not having an instagram account or not being on snapchat. He does not even swear. For me, he's a great guy -- funny, athletic, enjoys cooking and probably on the nerdy side when it comes to academics. Yet, it seems like girls only see him as friends and nothing outside of that at this point. I tried to explain to him that he's growing into a great human being, but that sometimes girls don't appreciate people like him until they are older. He tells me that I'm his mom and that I'm supposed to say nice things to boost his confidence.

I think women can be kinda dumb. We chase the bad boys and then wonder why they treat us so poorly.

Yikes. Please don’t raise your son to be one of those “nice” guys who gets mad when girls choose others over him. That does not make them dumb.

Also I would be bet that there are girls who have crushes on your son, but they aren’t hot enough for him to give him a second glance. He is probably a 6 and is put out that the girls in the 8-10 range aren’t interested. Guys who are like this are so obnoxious and sometimes become incels, so please make sure this isn’t where he is coming from.

[Anonymous]

I knew my husband in high school. We started dating in college. He was a virgin who came from a very conservative family. I was a little on the wild side. I didn't intend to marry him. We just really got along, and he treated me well. He didn't have any money. I came from a family that was upper middle class. His was solid middle class. I was not that conventionally pretty, but I've always projected confidence (that maybe sometimes I don't feel inside), and I'm funny and smart. I made him laugh.

He was ambitious, which I liked. But I just liked him because he treated me well, was smart, funny, nice, and handsome. He's actually the kind of guy who grew into his looks more as he aged. I made a lot of dumb mistakes, and I still do. But he was not one of them.

However, I was not ambitious in terms of a career, and I do depend on him for most of my money. As much as I love him, if I could have done it over, I would have taken more time for me to have experiences on my own, stand on my own two feet, and develop my own career. I think it's really a trade off if you meet your partner young. You could grow together or grow apart. You are very close with a lot of history that no one else really understands. But you don't really develop as an individual person.

I was never into jocks, but I did like the brooding artists, and I was massively in love with a guy who treated me like a total ass. I am so glad I didn't end up with him. I grew up with a lot of drama and trauma, and my husband helps to keep me...a little bit....grounded.

[Anonymous]

Oh....I'm the PP from the message above. My husband didn't chase me. He was totally oblivious.

It's been my experience that 9/10 guys like it when a woman comes on to them. They rarely get to experience it.

I basically had to knock my husband over the head so he understood I liked him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It's been my experience that 9/10 guys like it when a woman comes on to them. They rarely get to experience it.

Man here. Can confirm.

[Anonymous]

I was not taught anything except that men can’t be trusted and marriage is constant fighting and emotional distance. My parents didn’t model
Anything and I never had any guidance at all. Then suddenly my mom started freaking out about how I was an old maid depriving her of grandchildren(she never put pressure on my brother who never had kids and is divorced from a terrible person/choice). I went to an Ivy League and was very fit pretty and achieving but I didn’t have a date for years and was terrified if j to act. I had no idea what normal was . I really hope I can instill more confidence and model better relationships in my kids (male and female). Yes I eventually got married but I look back and wish I had done it younger with a better partner and parent (emotionally and genetically better parent).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In reference to the other thread where it was concluded that the good guys with the potential to make good money are always paired up very early in life- in college or before. This makes me feel major FOMO because in high school and college, I had 0 idea what a “marriage material” guy was and how to identify them. But I had a roomate, I recall, who had been dating her engineer bf since hs. They were monogamous throughout college and he went to an Ivy League across the country. They already had it all mapped out. What jobs they were going to do; how many kids they would have.

How did she know so early what’s a good guy? And how to keep him?

I was so clueless and only now in my thirties am remembering the things she said about marriage and husbands.

Who teaches these girls? How they know? What do they know?

Funny that I was just having a similar discussion with my high school son the other day about this topic. He was telling me most of the girls he knows seem to be attracted to jerky guys who don't treat them that well. My DS isn't a saint, and definitely isn't a doormat. Enjoys music, playing tennis and cross country, and can be a bit "cerebral" when it comes to philosophical discussions. He also isn't big on social media and prefer to talk to people rather than hang on the phone all day. I think girls think he's an odd ball for not having an instagram account or not being on snapchat. He does not even swear. For me, he's a great guy -- funny, athletic, enjoys cooking and probably on the nerdy side when it comes to academics. Yet, it seems like girls only see him as friends and nothing outside of that at this point. I tried to explain to him that he's growing into a great human being, but that sometimes girls don't appreciate people like him until they are older. He tells me that I'm his mom and that I'm supposed to say nice things to boost his confidence.

I think women can be kinda dumb. We chase the bad boys and then wonder why they treat us so poorly.

Your son is the male version of my DD. Boys can be equally dumb because I am not hearing about any special admirers. She also pretty (in addition to the other qualities you’ve listed).

If your dd is “pretty”, she’s just not telling you who likes her because she’s embarrassed by the caliber of guys that are into her if they aren’t top tier

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was not taught anything except that men can’t be trusted and marriage is constant fighting and emotional distance. My parents didn’t model
Anything and I never had any guidance at all. Then suddenly my mom started freaking out about how I was an old maid depriving her of grandchildren(she never put pressure on my brother who never had kids and is divorced from a terrible person/choice). I went to an Ivy League and was very fit pretty and achieving but I didn’t have a date for years and was terrified if j to act. I had no idea what normal was . I really hope I can instill more confidence and model better relationships in my kids (male and female). Yes I eventually got married but I look back and wish I had done it younger with a better partner and parent (emotionally and genetically better parent).

Lol what do you mean by “genetically better parent”?

Lol does your dh know that you think he is untermenschen?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In reference to the other thread where it was concluded that the good guys with the potential to make good money are always paired up very early in life- in college or before. This makes me feel major FOMO because in high school and college, I had 0 idea what a “marriage material” guy was and how to identify them. But I had a roomate, I recall, who had been dating her engineer bf since hs. They were monogamous throughout college and he went to an Ivy League across the country. They already had it all mapped out. What jobs they were going to do; how many kids they would have.

How did she know so early what’s a good guy? And how to keep him?

I was so clueless and only now in my thirties am remembering the things she said about marriage and husbands.

Who teaches these girls? How they know? What do they know?

Funny that I was just having a similar discussion with my high school son the other day about this topic. He was telling me most of the girls he knows seem to be attracted to jerky guys who don't treat them that well. My DS isn't a saint, and definitely isn't a doormat. Enjoys music, playing tennis and cross country, and can be a bit "cerebral" when it comes to philosophical discussions. He also isn't big on social media and prefer to talk to people rather than hang on the phone all day. I think girls think he's an odd ball for not having an instagram account or not being on snapchat. He does not even swear. For me, he's a great guy -- funny, athletic, enjoys cooking and probably on the nerdy side when it comes to academics. Yet, it seems like girls only see him as friends and nothing outside of that at this point. I tried to explain to him that he's growing into a great human being, but that sometimes girls don't appreciate people like him until they are older. He tells me that I'm his mom and that I'm supposed to say nice things to boost his confidence.

I think women can be kinda dumb. We chase the bad boys and then wonder why they treat us so poorly.

Yikes. Please don’t raise your son to be one of those “nice” guys who gets mad when girls choose others over him. That does not make them dumb.

Also I would be bet that there are girls who have crushes on your son, but they aren’t hot enough for him to give him a second glance. He is probably a 6 and is put out that the girls in the 8-10 range aren’t interested. Guys who are like this are so obnoxious and sometimes become incels, so please make sure this isn’t where he is coming from.

Pp’s kid is way too beta and probably gunning for Stacies.

He needs to gain “abundance mentality” by first shooting for 4-5’s, get some experience, hit the gym, stop cross country if he isn’t going d1 for it (does not build an attractive male physique), pick up a team sport (telling that both the sports are individual) on the side.

Boys/guys like this think that’s because they are slim/lithe themselves that they can have slim/lithe girls in 2022.

This isn’t europe. It isn’t even the 80s or 90s in the us. You have to be top tier to get a thin woman due to supply/demand.

Dating in the us is one of the hardest markets on the planet. This isn’t Spain where the median person is attractive so you can kinda coast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In reference to the other thread where it was concluded that the good guys with the potential to make good money are always paired up very early in life- in college or before. This makes me feel major FOMO because in high school and college, I had 0 idea what a “marriage material” guy was and how to identify them. But I had a roomate, I recall, who had been dating her engineer bf since hs. They were monogamous throughout college and he went to an Ivy League across the country. They already had it all mapped out. What jobs they were going to do; how many kids they would have.

How did she know so early what’s a good guy? And how to keep him?

I was so clueless and only now in my thirties am remembering the things she said about marriage and husbands.

Who teaches these girls? How they know? What do they know?

Funny that I was just having a similar discussion with my high school son the other day about this topic. He was telling me most of the girls he knows seem to be attracted to jerky guys who don't treat them that well. My DS isn't a saint, and definitely isn't a doormat. Enjoys music, playing tennis and cross country, and can be a bit "cerebral" when it comes to philosophical discussions. He also isn't big on social media and prefer to talk to people rather than hang on the phone all day. I think girls think he's an odd ball for not having an instagram account or not being on snapchat. He does not even swear. For me, he's a great guy -- funny, athletic, enjoys cooking and probably on the nerdy side when it comes to academics. Yet, it seems like girls only see him as friends and nothing outside of that at this point. I tried to explain to him that he's growing into a great human being, but that sometimes girls don't appreciate people like him until they are older. He tells me that I'm his mom and that I'm supposed to say nice things to boost his confidence.

I think women can be kinda dumb. We chase the bad boys and then wonder why they treat us so poorly.

Yikes. Please don’t raise your son to be one of those “nice” guys who gets mad when girls choose others over him. That does not make them dumb.

Also I would be bet that there are girls who have crushes on your son, but they aren’t hot enough for him to give him a second glance. He is probably a 6 and is put out that the girls in the 8-10 range aren’t interested. Guys who are like this are so obnoxious and sometimes become incels, so please make sure this isn’t where he is coming from.

Pp’s kid is way too beta and probably gunning for Stacies.

He needs to gain “abundance mentality” by first shooting for 4-5’s, get some experience, hit the gym, stop cross country if he isn’t going d1 for it (does not build an attractive male physique), pick up a team sport (telling that both the sports are individual) on the side.

Boys/guys like this think that’s because they are slim/lithe themselves that they can have slim/lithe girls in 2022.

This isn’t europe. It isn’t even the 80s or 90s in the us. You have to be top tier to get a thin woman due to supply/demand.

Dating in the us is one of the hardest markets on the planet. This isn’t Spain where the median person is attractive so you can kinda coast.

This is one of the dumbest posts I've read on this site.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The answer here is easy. Most women marry a man just like their father. I had a fantastic father and knew just what to look for in a spouse and future father of my children. I always felt like I was worthy of love and deserved it.

+1
My grandfather was a wonderful father, my dad was a wonderful father and my DH is a wonderful father too. Not worried about DD.

#smug

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In reference to the other thread where it was concluded that the good guys with the potential to make good money are always paired up very early in life- in college or before. This makes me feel major FOMO because in high school and college, I had 0 idea what a “marriage material” guy was and how to identify them. But I had a roomate, I recall, who had been dating her engineer bf since hs. They were monogamous throughout college and he went to an Ivy League across the country. They already had it all mapped out. What jobs they were going to do; how many kids they would have.

How did she know so early what’s a good guy? And how to keep him?

I was so clueless and only now in my thirties am remembering the things she said about marriage and husbands.

Who teaches these girls? How they know? What do they know?

Funny that I was just having a similar discussion with my high school son the other day about this topic. He was telling me most of the girls he knows seem to be attracted to jerky guys who don't treat them that well. My DS isn't a saint, and definitely isn't a doormat. Enjoys music, playing tennis and cross country, and can be a bit "cerebral" when it comes to philosophical discussions. He also isn't big on social media and prefer to talk to people rather than hang on the phone all day. I think girls think he's an odd ball for not having an instagram account or not being on snapchat. He does not even swear. For me, he's a great guy -- funny, athletic, enjoys cooking and probably on the nerdy side when it comes to academics. Yet, it seems like girls only see him as friends and nothing outside of that at this point. I tried to explain to him that he's growing into a great human being, but that sometimes girls don't appreciate people like him until they are older. He tells me that I'm his mom and that I'm supposed to say nice things to boost his confidence.

I think women can be kinda dumb. We chase the bad boys and then wonder why they treat us so poorly.

Yikes. Please don’t raise your son to be one of those “nice” guys who gets mad when girls choose others over him. That does not make them dumb.

Also I would be bet that there are girls who have crushes on your son, but they aren’t hot enough for him to give him a second glance. He is probably a 6 and is put out that the girls in the 8-10 range aren’t interested. Guys who are like this are so obnoxious and sometimes become incels, so please make sure this isn’t where he is coming from.

Pp’s kid is way too beta and probably gunning for Stacies.

He needs to gain “abundance mentality” by first shooting for 4-5’s, get some experience, hit the gym, stop cross country if he isn’t going d1 for it (does not build an attractive male physique), pick up a team sport (telling that both the sports are individual) on the side.

Boys/guys like this think that’s because they are slim/lithe themselves that they can have slim/lithe girls in 2022.

This isn’t europe. It isn’t even the 80s or 90s in the us. You have to be top tier to get a thin woman due to supply/demand.

Dating in the us is one of the hardest markets on the planet. This isn’t Spain where the median person is attractive so you can kinda coast.

Based

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We teach women they don't need to even start getting serious about men until their early 30s. By then, a single 32-year-old man is looking for a woman in her 20s.

We can mock the women who settled down in their early 20s as not being modern, ambitious, independent, motivated, or smart. Women are told that making marriage a priority in her 20s makes her a loser.

Then she gets into her 30s and says "I'm ready to settle down" and she can't find anyone.

A woman who makes marriage a priority at age 23 is sort of a rebel today. Seriously. She is going against the grain of her peers, bucking the message society keeps sending her and doing the opposite.

Maybe it's the message society is sending you?

x 1000

Has anyone else noticed that hookup culture hasn’t really benefitted women at all? It’s nice that we don’t have to marry the first dude we sleep with anymore! So that was progress. But it didn’t stop there and somehow that’s morphed into a bunch of Peter Pans who are socially validated into staying single until their late thirties!

Anyway, why assume a woman who gets married at 23 doesn’t have a job? I would assume that’s rare. People usually don’t quit until the kids come along.

💯

This is why rich girls from gen z are getting married earlier than their gen x and millennial sisters…they saw how things didn’t work out that great for the previous generatio

So true! It isn’t like:
Misogyny is still a thing. Or the former President glorified sexual harassment and assult or that Roe vs. Wade is gone in many areas.

Nope, just those Gen Z girls are SMART, nothing else to see here.

Yes, educated 24 year old women are marrying because of misogyny and Former President Trump. They have no agency, they merely follow orders from old people’s political miasmas they got from the TV.

All these decades of acting like we can act like men in finding a partner hasn't made the world any LESS misogynistic or the other stuff. Newsflash we're not male and marriage happens different for us.

[Anonymous]

To answer the OPs question, my dad always acted like he thinks I'm great, and so I got used to being respected/appreciated/listened to. So I really only spent time with people who treated me well/ had no interest in people who were mean to me. Happily married to my high school boyfriend for 15+ years, together for 20+

[Anonymous]

I'm a kindhearted nerd so it only makes sense that I'd find another kindhearted nerd.