Question for the smart girls who snag the good guys early in life

[Anonymous]

My dad was an ahole to my mom. I knew I wanted to marry someone kind. I was lucky to meet my dh in college. I did not know his earning potential, but we were at a good school and he worked hard. we don't have a huge HHI (175kish?) and we don't have family money, kids in Public school, not a ton of fancy vacations or big lavish gifts, but we are so so happy. 😊

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In reference to the other thread where it was concluded that the good guys with the potential to make good money are always paired up very early in life- in college or before. This makes me feel major FOMO because in high school and college, I had 0 idea what a “marriage material” guy was and how to identify them. But I had a roomate, I recall, who had been dating her engineer bf since hs. They were monogamous throughout college and he went to an Ivy League across the country. They already had it all mapped out. What jobs they were going to do; how many kids they would have.

How did she know so early what’s a good guy? And how to keep him?

I was so clueless and only now in my thirties am remembering the things she said about marriage and husbands.

Who teaches these girls? How they know? What do they know?

Nobody teaches anything. They just got lucky.

[Anonymous]

Maybe their moms taught them? I remember my mom was only ever enthusiastic about one guy I dated in college. She insisted he was marriage material and really pushed me to stick with him. Just the fact that she was so pushy about him turned me off! Thinking back of course she was right.
My type back then was the skinny hipster artsy guy...those ones always string girls along and never commit. None of the guys I dated in college except the good one ever got married and it's been 20 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A man is not a plan 🙌

This^. You have to have your own plan.

[Anonymous]

Because it's boring!

I married my college sweetheart.

Yes, it's good. And it's also boring

[Anonymous]

At 33 it's already slim pickings. Over the past year I've been on so many dates but all the men are either super slimy or totally awkward.

[Anonymous]

Those girls are smart and mature, they attract smart and mature guys. They support each other and come out ahead of others.

[Anonymous]

Couples who met early, have to go through a lot with each other so its not all fun and games.

[Anonymous]

I met mine law school. It was obvious he was smart, hardworking and had a plan. He was/is also good looking but that was a bonus.

[Anonymous]

I know several women who met and married their husbands early and supported them for years and years, only to get divorced when they started making big bucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Couples who met early, have to go through a lot with each other so its not all fun and games.

Yes, but they also mould each other as they grow up together, which can make for really strong partnerships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:don't go for looks; go for the slightly nerdy guys who will treat you like a queen and who aren't into partying.

My sister's goal was to marry an engineer, which she did at 23.

Op here. Well I wasted my time on the social good looking frat boys.

Well if you stayed with one he makes $$$ in sales now. Maybe hook up at a reunion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In reference to the other thread where it was concluded that the good guys with the potential to make good money are always paired up very early in life- in college or before. This makes me feel major FOMO because in high school and college, I had 0 idea what a “marriage material” guy was and how to identify them. But I had a roomate, I recall, who had been dating her engineer bf since hs. They were monogamous throughout college and he went to an Ivy League across the country. They already had it all mapped out. What jobs they were going to do; how many kids they would have.

How did she know so early what’s a good guy? And how to keep him?

I was so clueless and only now in my thirties am remembering the things she said about marriage and husbands.

Who teaches these girls? How they know? What do they know?

Their mothers.

[Anonymous]

We teach women they don't need to even start getting serious about men until their early 30s. By then, a single 32-year-old man is looking for a woman in her 20s.

We can mock the women who settled down in their early 20s as not being modern, ambitious, independent, motivated, or smart. Women are told that making marriage a priority in her 20s makes her a loser.

Then she gets into her 30s and says "I'm ready to settle down" and she can't find anyone.

A woman who makes marriage a priority at age 23 is sort of a rebel today. Seriously. She is going against the grain of her peers, bucking the message society keeps sending her and doing the opposite.

Maybe it's the message society is sending you?

[Anonymous]

Is Princeton mom on this thread?