Single mom, 34 and twice divorced...will my stats scare potential mates?
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Anonymous
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I married young the first time, at 23 and my husband was ex military and very damaged - tough childhood, years of untreated bi polar, emotional abuser. We divorced and remain friends - he has been in extensive therapy since we split and continues to get the help he needs.
Second marriage was at 29. Childhood sweetheart, a lot of support of the relationship from friends and family. But he never broke up with his ex (I didn't know until months after marriage and pregnant with my son). We seperated and soon divorce will be over. I've been in therapy for a while myself to establish why I pick these kind of men etc. I've made progress, I've grown! They say 3rd times the charm, but I am worried what the dating pool will be like for me. When people hear twice divorced and with a kid, will they hold that against me? I am otherwise a professional, liberal level headed woman who dots over my child and wants a long term companion. Not sure if I am open to marriage again, but you never know. Thoughts? |
Anonymous
| If I were you, I would focus on yourself and your child right now. If the right guy is out there, he'll make himself known eventually. You've gone through a lot of heartbreak and unhappiness and deserve to make these next 10 years or so your own. Plus, I wouldn't trust any man with my child until the child is old enough to decide if he wants to be around the guy or not. Work on yourself. Raise your child. Live your life. |
Anonymous
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"They say 3rd times the charm"
What are 3rd time divorce stats? |
Anonymous
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One mistake = Something' s wrong with him
Two mistakes = Something's wrong with you |
Anonymous
| Your selecting skills may need re-adjusting. |
Anonymous
| If you are already looking at dating, maybe the issue is you? |
Anonymous
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man here.
the story about your two divorces are red flags like shit. i sense you rush into things so i wouldnt be looking for anything more than fucking with you if it had to go there. the second you bring up getting serious or moving to the next level, id be out of there. you sound like you dont like being lonely and you deal with shady fucked up men so not sure what to tell you beyond that |
Anonymous
I agree. OP, you are barely out of marriage #2 and you are thinking about marriage #3? Forget about men. Focus on your child and yourself. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
| I think folks are being a little harsh on the OP. She's been in therapy, she's working on it and she says she's not sure she wants to get married again, just wants to date/find a companion. Nothing wrong with that. I agree that focusing on yourself and child is first and foremost. Yes, two divorces will be red flags, but I think if you really have grown and come acriss as grounded and self-aware (not depsrate, clingy, crazy, etc) you will find a companion. It will just take more effort. good luck. |
Anonymous
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OP here: My second husband and I seperated when I was 5 months pregnant. My son is now 15 months old and I have been in therapy since the seperation.
I agree, my selection skills needed readjusting. It is the reason I sought and continue to see a therapist - went from twice weekly in the beginning, to once a month now. I am doing the work. |
Anonymous
Why are you thinking about a partner at all? |
Anonymous
Fool me once shame on me. fool me twice shame on you, a fooled man can't get fooled again |
Anonymous
| OP here: To the 15:53 poster - I just thought I'd get some views on what impression my stats would recieve. I am still working on myself and do not want to get into anything serious right now. I cannot and do not want to expose my child to any man/relationship I am not 100% confident about and ready for. |
Anonymous
| My ex husband is on his 4th wife. Maybe when they get divorced, I can set you guys up? |