Can you tell me about upscale southern culture?

[Anonymous]

I think southerners are much. more charming, warmer and more refined than most Northerners. But there are indeed differences in both how they look at "outsiders" (aka anyone not family) and their degree of worldliness.

Northerners (the wealthier ones) tend to travel abroad and have had a much broader view of the world. Southerners have a m much more insular view.

They also stay with and believe in traditions, tight families, fierce loyalties to their alma mater, football teams, etc.....

Southern women come across more much feminine, demure and ladylike...its the southern way and a practiced art which is carried one from one generation to another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds ... a bit like that anecdote about the perfect private school kids in the coffee shop ...

Yes, there’s someone on here who has a hard-on for “the affluent.” Barf.

But hates “strivers”.

[Anonymous]

This thread is why I’m getting these horrible fashion ads at the bottom of the screens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Gucci is kind of tacky and Eurotrashy, no?

My DH is from a Virginia plantation family. We're one of the original families of this area. Their hobbies are Dog shows, horses, boats, that kind of thing.

Oh...and their other hobby is casual racism.

think of it as an homage to their history

Keep your racist BS to yourself.

How exactly do you think dynastic wealth centered around plantations was created?

Oh shut up. Accusing them of being racists without merit seems to be your typical agenda.

OP has already said they seem to be a very nice family, stop making things up.

PP was talking about HER southern genteel in-laws, whom she presumably knows well. You are taking this oddly personally.

Another poster here with Southern family from my FIL side. They are super wealthy (2MM vacation house on Lake Martin), educated, and still racist. I know for sure that if my kids will marry POC, forget about getting invited to another Thanksgiving.

[Anonymous]

A question, if your dd is a grad student, is she into CRT and studies the history/political/sociology sciences?
If so, she is well versed in the Lost Cause and fake narratives that the South has propagated about the South, slavery, etc.
How would she feel if they keep getting offended issue bring us the facts of how the South created the Lot Cause fake narrative?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds ... a bit like that anecdote about the perfect private school kids in the coffee shop ...

Yes, there’s someone on here who has a hard-on for “the affluent.” Barf.

But hates “strivers”.

Kinda OT but what’s a “striver.” I see that word on these boards a lot recently and I have no idea what it means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SEC Football rules the roost there. Some people I met disliked that I'm a UMD alum

in South Carolina Clemson is the rich kid school not USC

I'm sure SEC alums consider UMD football to be a non-event. Not sure they would dislike a UMD alum since it's just not in their orbit.

SEC southern here..yes UMD football is not on our radar. Most of the traits pointed out about educated southern family is true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are there asian/black/Spanish/ people in the upscale southern culture? If so, do you posters admire them as well?

No there is not. At least not that I am aware of. Charming Southerner here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's all about church. Where you go to church. I was invite to a Welcome Party, given in my honor when I moved to the neighborhood. All they wanted to ask about was church. Finally, for a few of them, I talked about our very urban church ...thinking, gee I guess they really have an interest. Wrong.

I think mostly, the ladies wanted to know -- which of their social circles I would frequent. When there wasn't any overlap, I was unimportant. I don't think it's that they decided, on any deep level, that we had nothing in common. I think it was more - their relationships are shallow and all they cared about was knowing I wouldn't have any affect on their established social circles.

Not for the wealthy! The wealthy southerners typically attend church, but their social lives and conversations rarely have anything to do with church. Trust me, I know. What you are describing is more middle class southern culture in a rural area or exurb.

+1 Social life revolves more around secular clubs than church for this set. Besides the big obvious ones like a country club and junior league, there are millions of other random clubs. My inlaws belonged to clubs related to things like showing dogs, gardens, sorority alumni, bridge, boats, books, and a bunch of other things I can't remember. All of these clubs have some sort of socializing element.

This. Middle class southerners want to know where you go to church. Rich southerners want to know your favorite drink.


~private school white trash poster

This is so true. Grew up in the south (family been in the area since 1798) and church was never discussed outside of church. Went to church weekly as a child but as teenager just went maybe at holidays if wanted to. No big deal. Methodist. Also, mom quit job and stayed home after a having kids. She did not start having kids until 32, 35 & 38 years old. One child was adopted. I have always worked and started own business (LLC) at 30. Mom is so proud and likes what I am doing with my life. Has never thought I needed to make her life choices and never interferes. She is educate so I assume that helps.
Oh and any transplant will always be “not from there” unless family had been in the area over 100 years.

[Anonymous]

There's a lot of similarities between affluent "old money" South and affluent families in Latin America. Emphasis on impeccable manners, beautifully decorated houses, women really do make an effort to look composed and presented, and many subtle social rules and mannerism that may be hard for outsiders to see but which speak volumes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's all about church. Where you go to church. I was invite to a Welcome Party, given in my honor when I moved to the neighborhood. All they wanted to ask about was church. Finally, for a few of them, I talked about our very urban church ...thinking, gee I guess they really have an interest. Wrong.

I think mostly, the ladies wanted to know -- which of their social circles I would frequent. When there wasn't any overlap, I was unimportant. I don't think it's that they decided, on any deep level, that we had nothing in common. I think it was more - their relationships are shallow and all they cared about was knowing I wouldn't have any affect on their established social circles.

Not for the wealthy! The wealthy southerners typically attend church, but their social lives and conversations rarely have anything to do with church. Trust me, I know. What you are describing is more middle class southern culture in a rural area or exurb.

+1 Social life revolves more around secular clubs than church for this set. Besides the big obvious ones like a country club and junior league, there are millions of other random clubs. My inlaws belonged to clubs related to things like showing dogs, gardens, sorority alumni, bridge, boats, books, and a bunch of other things I can't remember. All of these clubs have some sort of socializing element.

This. Middle class southerners want to know where you go to church. Rich southerners want to know your favorite drink.


~private school white trash poster

This is so true. Grew up in the south (family been in the area since 1798) and church was never discussed outside of church. Went to church weekly as a child but as teenager just went maybe at holidays if wanted to. No big deal. Methodist. Also, mom quit job and stayed home after a having kids. She did not start having kids until 32, 35 & 38 years old. One child was adopted. I have always worked and started own business (LLC) at 30. Mom is so proud and likes what I am doing with my life. Has never thought I needed to make her life choices and never interferes. She is educate so I assume that helps.
Oh and any transplant will always be “not from there” unless family had been in the area over 100 years.

Yeah we're Episcopalians and church was never really talked about outside of church. As adults, DH and I don't go, but my sister and her husband go (but never talk about it outside of church). We might all go when we're back in our hometown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of similarities between affluent "old money" South and affluent families in Latin America. Emphasis on impeccable manners, beautifully decorated houses, women really do make an effort to look composed and presented, and many subtle social rules and mannerism that may be hard for outsiders to see but which speak volumes.

Because they are both servant/colonial cultures. Southeast Asia is also similar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds ... a bit like that anecdote about the perfect private school kids in the coffee shop ...

Yes, there’s someone on here who has a hard-on for “the affluent.” Barf.

But hates “strivers”.

Kinda OT but what’s a “striver.” I see that word on these boards a lot recently and I have no idea what it means.

Someone who doesn't know their place.

[Anonymous]

Southerners do not pee in the shower and we wash our legs and feet regularly unlike yankees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of similarities between affluent "old money" South and affluent families in Latin America. Emphasis on impeccable manners, beautifully decorated houses, women really do make an effort to look composed and presented, and many subtle social rules and mannerism that may be hard for outsiders to see but which speak volumes.

Because they are both servant/colonial cultures. Southeast Asia is also similar.

DP You made me gasp. I was reading this thread mildly amused since I have no intersect with affluent Southern culture, but feeling a sense of familiarity. When you mentioned Southeast Asia, I understood why.