Can you tell me about upscale southern culture?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds ... a bit like that anecdote about the perfect private school kids in the coffee shop ...

I remember that post!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:bourbon, horses, seersucker, bow-ties, colors, patterns, historic houses, straw hats.

porches, flowers, benedictine, chicken salad.

Ham biscuits

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds ... a bit like that anecdote about the perfect private school kids in the coffee shop ...

Yes, there’s someone on here who has a hard-on for “the affluent.” Barf.

But hates “strivers”.

Kinda OT but what’s a “striver.” I see that word on these boards a lot recently and I have no idea what it means.

A striver is someone from another part of the country (usually the Midwest) who moved to the DMV after collecting degrees from prestigious universities. The striver then gets a government job and marries another government worker with a similar educational pedigree.

The striver then tries to climb the local social ladder by dumping old friends for new ones who are more connected and useful. The striver also posts threads frequently on DCUM asking if the are “upper class” by virtue of their schooling. Strivers also throw shade on those who do actually have/earn more money than them, but do not have the same impressive degrees.

Whoooaaa! This sounds like some sort of DCUM type definition.

+1

Urban Dictionary’s top definition:

Striver
The striver is an interesting phenomenon that is seen across college campuses. In essence, the striver is an over-achiever who comes from a working or middle class family. He may be an immigrant. He may have been a slacker in HS who was "born again" into an academic wunderkind. Or he may just be an over-achiever who is keeping at it.

The striver is willing to sacrifice his social life at the expense of Phi Beta Kappa and Summa Cum Laude. The striver is the guy who stays at the library long after you are gone. The striver is the guy who takes 30 credits/semester and considers anything below an A/4.0 failure. The striver doesn't work on campus, he is too busy finding ways to pad his resume instead of working retail or workstudy. The striver lets his grades pay his education by applying to ten scholarships a year.

The striver is a future Soros/Fullbright/Rhodes/Gates/Marshall/etc. fellow. The striver lives to study. For the striver, their fun comes from the rewards they expect to receive in return for their diligence. Be it Law School, B-School, academia, or politics. The striver seeks to find the American Dream through academic success.
Anthony was a striver. He transfered from a TTT to an IVY and graduated in 2 years. He studied his ass off and went to Penn Law. He got a Biglaw offer. But lost it all because of an unmoderated mesasgeboard.

Successful strivers:
- Barack Obama
- Harold Koh

I don't think this is it. At all. At least if we're going with how it's typically used on DCUM. The UD definition just sounds like someone who's very academically ambitious...seems like a better fit for the phrase "hungry." A striver is more about how you treat people, obsession with money and class, stuff like that. Like, Barack Obama was obviously very ambitious and strove for great things...but I don't think he would be considered a striver unless he did things like dumping old friends for new ones simply bc the new friends had better connections/prestige and would make him look better and help him become more powerful. Buy certain things solely to make himself look rich/successful. Takes violin lessons not because he wants to learn an instrument or craft, but because he equates playing violin with being wealthy/successful. It's basically being an annoying social climber obsessed with how they appear to others (not just physically). And from what I know about BHO, I don't think he was that way. Maybe.

Meghan Markle is an A+ striver

[Anonymous]

What is the point of striving, though? People, especially the ones strivers wish to impress, aren’t dumb. They’ll know very quickly that you didn’t grow up in the culture you aspire to and that your mannerisms/clothes/credentials are put on. It seems like you’re always acting a part and always having to be conscious of it. So what’s the point, and why not be yourself? Genuinely asking.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP - Markle a striver; Obama not. Obama was massively ambitious and the success of those ambitions changed both his economic and social classes, but that was the result, not the goal. Whereas a striver’s #1 goal is upward social class, and they don’t care about the mechanics of how or why it happens (marriage, career, etc), as long as it does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the point of striving, though? People, especially the ones strivers wish to impress, aren’t dumb. They’ll know very quickly that you didn’t grow up in the culture you aspire to and that your mannerisms/clothes/credentials are put on. It seems like you’re always acting a part and always having to be conscious of it. So what’s the point, and why not be yourself? Genuinely asking.

So, because another characteristic trait of a striver is thinking they can outsmart or charm the gatekeepers, and the belief that they are an exception to other strivers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the point of striving, though? People, especially the ones strivers wish to impress, aren’t dumb. They’ll know very quickly that you didn’t grow up in the culture you aspire to and that your mannerisms/clothes/credentials are put on. It seems like you’re always acting a part and always having to be conscious of it. So what’s the point, and why not be yourself? Genuinely asking.

So, because another characteristic trait of a striver is thinking they can outsmart or charm the gatekeepers, and the belief that they are an exception to other strivers.

Well some as for Markle, feel like they can explain it away. Oh I had to do x because they did this. The strivers are in denial and believe once they gain the status, it won’t matter.

[Anonymous]

"Striver" is what entitled, inherited wealth call people who came from nothing, attend top notch schools on their own merit, and made something of themselves. See: Obama, Bill Clinton (dude came from a trailer park), and even Ted Cruz.

They don't like the competition from upstarts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP - Markle a striver; Obama not. Obama was massively ambitious and the success of those ambitions changed both his economic and social classes, but that was the result, not the goal. Whereas a striver’s #1 goal is upward social class, and they don’t care about the mechanics of how or why it happens (marriage, career, etc), as long as it does.

I don't even know if this is true. It didn't seem like he was an ambitious striver type in school, which was probably part of his charm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:bourbon, horses, seersucker, bow-ties, colors, patterns, historic houses, straw hats.

porches, flowers, benedictine, chicken salad.

The liqueur or the Private, Military school in Richmond??

Neither!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP - Markle a striver; Obama not. Obama was massively ambitious and the success of those ambitions changed both his economic and social classes, but that was the result, not the goal. Whereas a striver’s #1 goal is upward social class, and they don’t care about the mechanics of how or why it happens (marriage, career, etc), as long as it does.

I don't even know if this is true. It didn't seem like he was an ambitious striver type in school, which was probably part of his charm.

It isn’t. There were many people interested in seeing him succeed

[Anonymous]

Ok. There's nothing wrong with striving. Improving your let is a great American pastime and I have every respect for anyone who is ambitious and works hard to get ahead. I absolutely see how some people can be snobs about that.

However, there is also something to be said about trying too hard to appear like you "fit in" by birth into a certain demographic by obscuring your heritage or origins, in short you're not being entirely honest about who you are.

My father came from a small town, his family were quiet, plain people. He was the first to go to college and he has accomplished a great deal through personal ambition and it's brought him into a world where he's surrounded by many peers who went to fancy prep schools and whose families would have once been called "society people." My father has never pretended to be anything other than who he is or who his parents were. He also never tried to look or act a certain way to gain acceptance. Despite all these, for whatever reasons, he's gained entry into places and access to people who would have immediately rejected him if he'd tried to pretend to be something he wasn't.

There is a difference between striving and pretending to be something you're not.