Family wedding - no kids allowed

[Anonymous]

I get that everyone wants to show off their 2 and 4 year olds, but does anyone actually like other people’s kids at a wedding? Kids really can get out of control and ruin a wedding. I’ve been to so many with bad kids running on the dance floor, spilling drinks, having tantrums, etc. I think once there are more than 5 kids it becomes more unmanageable.

I had a kid free wedding but no one had any children when we were married. My cousins and friends were all in their 20s. I also hate bringing my kids to weddings. I typically get a hotel sitter. My in-laws forced me to bring my kids to my sister in laws wedding and it was horrific. They cried and cried, it was too late and too loud but my MIL just kept passing my baby around. I had brought a nanny to take my kids out, but she wouldn’t let them go. Just a bad situation. It really made us not enjoy the wedding when we’d paid $$ and paid a nanny to come even. Never again. I should have taken the kids from mil and not listened to her but Dh wouldn’t let me. Other wedding attendees judged us too.

[Anonymous]

It can really increase the cost of a wedding! A close friend of mine got married in her late 30s. Many of the couple's cousins and close friends were already married with kids. She did the math and figured that there would be 60 additional guests if she invited kids. None of us took offense - it was fun to celebrate without having to worry about kids staying out late! Just hire a babysitter, or leave her with your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like many people are confusing wedding with family reunion. Yes it’s great to see family and all the cousins babies friends plus1s and anyone else who wants to show up. BUT a wedding is about two people getting married and considerably expensive. It’s their choice not yours.

That is kind of an interesting perspective.

I never really thought about it as being about the two of us. The marriage is about the two of us, for sure. We invited people to the ceremony because people wanted to come and see us get married. We had a reception because a lot of people were flying in or driving a long way, and it seemed kind of crappy not to at least feed them after the ceremony. Maybe the wedding is about the two people getting married, but the reception is for the people who came out to be with you. It isn't about everyone you know trying to give you this special, magical day.

OK Kim Kardashian, everybody doesn’t have thousands or even millions of dollars to invite and pay for hundreds of all of their friends and relatives. And it’s really asinine that you would not admit that, realize that, or take that into consideration when talking about other people’s’ plans for, YES, THEIR special day !
Guess what? It’s a wedding it’s just that it’s a wedding it’s one of event, it’s not a lifetime and if you judge a lifetime of familial relationships
over one event that your behind is not paying for that says more about you than it does about the couple.

I guess you can see your family how you want to. I felt grateful that the people who came wanted to be present.
I didn’t feel entitled to have everyone I know jump hoops to make my SPECIAL DAY all about me. It’s just a different perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's the thing. You don't get to decide how someone else has a wedding. You get to decide what type of wedding you have. Others get to decide what type of wedding they will have. If you get invited, you adhere to the rules established by the hosts. What you get to decide is whether you will attend under the restrictions and rules or whether you will decline politely. And whether and what type of gift you will send.

Easy. If you like family weddings, you are welcome to host one. If you like family weddings and your family member doesn't, they get to decide to have a no-kids wedding. You get to choose whether you attend a child-free wedding or not.

What you're forgetting to add, along with most of the other "my wedding my way" people, is: if you are the one getting married, sure, you can do whatever you want. More power to you. But there's a corollary: you don't get to be all whiny and "hurt" if people decline to attend. And that's where this usually breaks down in the end.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t heard a single person, here or in real life, say they were hurt because someone declined to attend their adults only wedding.

My aunt who wanted kids at her wedding had an early afternoon wedding outdoors with bbq style food. My aunt that didn’t had an evening reception in a five star hotel. Different places are different levels of appropriate for children and it’s delusional when people refuse to see that. It’s also pretty weak parenting to think your two year old belongs at a reception that begins at 7pm.

[Anonymous]

Op

I think we can end this thread as everyone is repeating themselves. Those who think children can be part of a wedding celebration won't convince those who want child free weddings and vice versa.

[Anonymous]

Op here - wow, this blew up, fun to hear the different perspectives and polarity this topic has! I was interested to hear perspectives and you all certainly brought them! And part of the reason I brought to an anonymous forum was because I wanted to share how this made me feel and hear perspectives - I’m not bringing any drama or questions to the bride and groom! They can certainly plan what they prefer and I can attend or not..... but please continue this entertaining debate!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - wow, this blew up, fun to hear the different perspectives and polarity this topic has! I was interested to hear perspectives and you all certainly brought them! And part of the reason I brought to an anonymous forum was because I wanted to share how this made me feel and hear perspectives - I’m not bringing any drama or questions to the bride and groom! They can certainly plan what they prefer and I can attend or not..... but please continue this entertaining debate!

Op you really think this is entertaining? It lost its entertainment once everyone repeated themselves. What is there more to say?

Hint: nothing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op

I think we can end this thread as everyone is repeating themselves. Those who think children can be part of a wedding celebration won't convince those who want child free weddings and vice versa.

One unavoidable truth: you ain't in charge of someone else's wedding. So decline and get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - wow, this blew up, fun to hear the different perspectives and polarity this topic has! I was interested to hear perspectives and you all certainly brought them! And part of the reason I brought to an anonymous forum was because I wanted to share how this made me feel and hear perspectives - I’m not bringing any drama or questions to the bride and groom! They can certainly plan what they prefer and I can attend or not..... but please continue this entertaining debate!

Op you really think this is entertaining? It lost its entertainment once everyone repeated themselves. What is there more to say?

Hint: nothing

Then stop reading?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - wow, this blew up, fun to hear the different perspectives and polarity this topic has! I was interested to hear perspectives and you all certainly brought them! And part of the reason I brought to an anonymous forum was because I wanted to share how this made me feel and hear perspectives - I’m not bringing any drama or questions to the bride and groom! They can certainly plan what they prefer and I can attend or not..... but please continue this entertaining debate!

No one cares about your feelings about an event someone else is paying for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op

I think we can end this thread as everyone is repeating themselves. Those who think children can be part of a wedding celebration won't convince those who want child free weddings and vice versa.

One unavoidable truth: you ain't in charge of someone else's wedding. So decline and get over it.

One more unavoidable truth: you can't force people to come yo your child free wedding. Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op

I think we can end this thread as everyone is repeating themselves. Those who think children can be part of a wedding celebration won't convince those who want child free weddings and vice versa.

One unavoidable truth: you ain't in charge of someone else's wedding. So decline and get over it.

One more unavoidable truth: you can't force people to come yo your child free wedding. Get over yourself.

My wedding happened several years ago and included children, so...nice try.

Literally no one has said "and the bride and groom get to whine of you decline." You're making an argument against nothing. Because you don't have a leg to stand on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - wow, this blew up, fun to hear the different perspectives and polarity this topic has! I was interested to hear perspectives and you all certainly brought them! And part of the reason I brought to an anonymous forum was because I wanted to share how this made me feel and hear perspectives - I’m not bringing any drama or questions to the bride and groom! They can certainly plan what they prefer and I can attend or not..... but please continue this entertaining debate!

Op you really think this is entertaining? It lost its entertainment once everyone repeated themselves. What is there more to say?

Hint: nothing

Then stop reading?

Stop being bossy. I can read and comment as long as I want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op

I think we can end this thread as everyone is repeating themselves. Those who think children can be part of a wedding celebration won't convince those who want child free weddings and vice versa.

One unavoidable truth: you ain't in charge of someone else's wedding. So decline and get over it.

One more unavoidable truth: you can't force people to come yo your child free wedding. Get over yourself.

My wedding happened several years ago and included children, so...nice try.

Literally no one has said "and the bride and groom get to whine of you decline." You're making an argument against nothing. Because you don't have a leg to stand on.

You arent very bright are you? I wasn't literally talking about you! And you should actually read what I wrote. This time more slowly.