Found nude pics on DHs phone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Let's even say that your DH didn't cheat and those pictures were innocent. Is it a normal reaction to get so mad at being "falsely accused" that you have to leave the house and not answer your spouse's calls? I think not.

Oh shut up you don't know this guy's temperament and as annoying as the OP is the way she creates 2/3 posts a week whining about one thing or another I'd say it was WISE on his part to leave the house before he ended up having a brain aneurysm from her nagging and dying.

You're acting as if the OP made up this accusation completely out of nowhere (assuming it is real and OP is not a troll.) If nude photos are found a phone, it is perfectly reasonable to question cheating. And if you can't understand that and won't put effort in to clear up the misunderstanding - if there is one - than you should probably just be single. Nothing wrong with that, but it's a bit much to become irate about it when it is a perfectly logical accusation. Again, all of this is assuming the OP didn't behave like a complete psycho and didn't chase him out of the house with a frying pan or some other shenanigans.

You only go to cheating immediately if you don't trust your husband. If I found nudes on my husband phone, I would not think he is cheating. I would think he is getting himself worked up to come home and have sex with me. Maybe I take this view because I still have AMAZING sex with my husband all these years later, unlike most DCUM women.

Your husband looks at nude photos of other women so he can get turned on enough to have sex with you? I wouldn’t be bragging about that. Why doesn’t he have nude photos of you on his phone to get worked up over?

It's a thing we do. I like to look at them too. I send him nudes every day. It's fun.

To clarify, I send nudes of me, too. I also send him nudes I find online of super hot women. We also watch girl on girl porn together sometimes too. I like to experiment, etc. No, we don't have an open relationship and no I have never been worried about him cheating on me.

Oh, and this is all me. Was never his idea. In fact, he thought I was tricking him at first. He would be happy with just nudes of me. I am sure of it. I also like when he sends me nudes. But, we are also both still hot. So, that helps.

PP, reality check. This conversation isn't about you. It's about OP. Go start your own thread bout your things with your DH. I'll read it.

I agree.

[Anonymous]

Well, this all did start because she freaked out over some nudes on her husband's phone. I think making it clear to OP that for some people and relationships this wouldn't be a huge deal and wouldn't lead to the immediate assumption that my husband is cheating or that it's not normal for a man to want to look at nudes, even if he is happy at home. I was just hoping to give her another take and that maybe this isn't about cheating at all. Especially if they are in a rut, kids are young and sex has been less frequent. Been there....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would the jerks who have taken over this thread with their "I'm so hot, I send nudes to my husband" vs. "No, you're making that up" PLEASE STOP.

Some of us aren't interested in your hijacking. Start another thread about sending nudes in general.

If they are doing stuff like that it only shows how young and dumb they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would get the facts first then confront him. OP doesn't know what's going on except he's lying about a nude photo.

But why is it so important to know where he put his dick exactly? The above is plenty. If he actually got the picture on the internet or from a male friend he can easily prove it.

Imo she doesn't know enough to convict him. I'm not going to divorce over a photo, but I would over him cheating. Especially with his boss. If I found out his boss was sleeping with my husband I'm going to confront her at work in front of everyone. I have no problem with that. Then my next appointment will be with the lawyer. I would need evidence and closure before I move forward.

I would post the pix - or the next round I find - on DCUM as an attachment!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait op first he said no photo now there's a photo? He needs to find the site and show you.

And besides, whoever described a pork star as middle aged? Ding, ding, ding - something’s not right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would the jerks who have taken over this thread with their "I'm so hot, I send nudes to my husband" vs. "No, you're making that up" PLEASE STOP.

Some of us aren't interested in your hijacking. Start another thread about sending nudes in general.

If they are doing stuff like that it only shows how young and dumb they are.

I just see jealousy in every post since I made comments that clearly make some uncomfortable. Look, I was just trying to give the OP some hope that maybe her husband just likes to look at nudies and isn't cheating. Not one reply to her post seemed to want to see any other side to the situation other than he must be cheating. See, this says so much about DCUM women. I am 42, not young, married to the same guy since I was 25. It's called a different perspective than immediately going to...there are nudes on my husbands phone and jump to....that means he is cheating. A

If my husband came at me and accused me of cheating on him with my boss because I had a dick pick.....well, I would be staying at my parents too. The correct way to handle this, would have been to say that I came across a picture on your phone today, I don't want to accuse you of anything but it had me concerned. Go from there.

Also, if you are the type to be pissed he has nudes, and he knows it, he is going to lie to you. That doesn't mean he is sleeping with this woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait op first he said no photo now there's a photo? He needs to find the site and show you.

And besides, whoever described a pork star as middle aged? Ding, ding, ding - something’s not right.

Sigh....there is an entire category called mature on porn hub. Every woman is definitely 40 or up. It's also very popular. Some guys actually like mature women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait op first he said no photo now there's a photo? He needs to find the site and show you.

And besides, whoever described a pork star as middle aged? Ding, ding, ding - something’s not right.

Sigh....there is an entire category called mature on porn hub. Every woman is definitely 40 or up. It's also very popular. Some guys actually like mature women.

Yep.

A lot of women are surprisingly ignorant about porn. Do some browsing and shut up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just see jealousy in every post since I made comments that clearly make some uncomfortable. Look, I was just trying to give the OP some hope that maybe her husband just likes to look at nudies and isn't cheating. Not one reply to her post seemed to want to see any other side to the situation other than he must be cheating. See, this says so much about DCUM women. I am 42, not young, married to the same guy since I was 25. It's called a different perspective than immediately going to...there are nudes on my husbands phone and jump to....that means he is cheating. A

If my husband came at me and accused me of cheating on him with my boss because I had a dick pick.....well, I would be staying at my parents too. The correct way to handle this, would have been to say that I came across a picture on your phone today, I don't want to accuse you of anything but it had me concerned. Go from there.

Also, if you are the type to be pissed he has nudes, and he knows it, he is going to lie to you. That doesn't mean he is sleeping with this woman.

You saw jealousy? Not in my posts, sweets. You spend too much time talking about how "hot" you and your husband both are on a post where a woman is struggling with a difficult situation. You could have made a point about alternative lifestyles without complimenting yourself repeatedly in the process. I'm not jealous of you. If anything, I find you to be a bit desperate. I know, I know, you're hot....

[Anonymous]

Listen, I dipped in and out of this thread over the last couple of days and tell yourself whatever makes you sleep at night next to your husband if you want to keep him, but naked pics on his phone is about f*****g. Period-T. He is has done or is about to do it but that's what it's about and he went to his parents house because he knows what I just said, so now what you have to decide if that's a dealbreaker for you and if it is, what you are going to do about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would the jerks who have taken over this thread with their "I'm so hot, I send nudes to my husband" vs. "No, you're making that up" PLEASE STOP.

Some of us aren't interested in your hijacking. Start another thread about sending nudes in general.

I'm definitely interested in the sending of nudes in this thread or any other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Your choice to lie tells me everything I need to know. Please find another place to sleep tonight while I process what I want to do next.”

+1 I'm not going to become Inspector Gadget but I'm not putting up with it either.

+2 - No way in hell will I snoop on my husband or live with a cheater. People always eventually get caught....I don't have time to snoop. Plus, if I feel like I have to snoop, then I want a divorce.

I understand what you're saying. I completely trusted my husband and never would have dreamed of snooping on him until I accidentally stumbled over incontrovertible evidence that he had been unfaithful. When confronted, he lied, just like OP's DH.

Once DH lied to me, I no longer felt he was no longer entitled to any presumption of trust. I knew at that moment that the marriage was over. Yes, I could have dumped him right then and walked away without any remorse.

BUT, I choose to snoop, and snoop thoroughly I did. I went through everything I legally had access to -- computers in the home, bills, phone records, bank records, car mileage, etc. What I found was a real eye-opener - DH had far more problems than just 1 inappropriate relationship. I ended the marriage and have never once looked back or had any remorse or doubts, and I was able to make wiser custody and child support decisions based on what I found out.

Had I not known the real facts, I would have been much more susceptible to DH"s ongoing gas-lighting and lying, which didn't end with our marriage. I would have been much more susceptible to the pressure from friends and relatives to reconcile. And, I would have been much more susceptible to pressure from therapists (therapists!!) who advocated reconciliation, forgiveness and deciding to trust again.

So, while I agree with you about not wanting to live with someone you feel has to be snooped on, I do think there's a value to it, even if it's likely that you will still breakup with them.

Totally agree with this. When I suspected her, I snooped. I told her that I wish I hadn't found anything and ended up feeling like the biggest AH ever for suspecting her and violating her privacy. But, that's not how it went. When backed into a corner about what I found and the lies could no longer save her, she tried to get all furious with me about snooping her phone. I didn't care at at all.

Lie to me and you lose the moral ground that says I'll respect your privacy. It was that, or go on being lied to another year or two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would the jerks who have taken over this thread with their "I'm so hot, I send nudes to my husband" vs. "No, you're making that up" PLEASE STOP.

Some of us aren't interested in your hijacking. Start another thread about sending nudes in general.

We aren't that hot anymore, and we are old. But we are hot for each other and text pics to each other all the time. She has become really good at taking photos of different body parts at just the right pose and angle to turn me on. It's a pleasant surprise. And, unlike many women here, she loves the occasional dic pic. But we send a lot of totally PG pics too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would the jerks who have taken over this thread with their "I'm so hot, I send nudes to my husband" vs. "No, you're making that up" PLEASE STOP.

Some of us aren't interested in your hijacking. Start another thread about sending nudes in general.

If they are doing stuff like that it only shows how young and dumb they are.

Why do you think this activity is limited to young people, or those who exchange photos are dumb?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait op first he said no photo now there's a photo? He needs to find the site and show you.

And besides, whoever described a pork star as middle aged? Ding, ding, ding - something’s not right.

Pork star is correct