Found a condom in my husband's car

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All men cheat, no need to break up your family over it. As long as is not an emotional affair, just move on and let it be.

I tend to agree (30 yr old female here). I would never tell my husband this and I would certainly make his life hell for it but I would not divorce and split up my family over sex. Men can be immature horn dogs sometimes. Women too. Monogamy is hard and goes against instinct. No I've never cheated and neither has my husband to my knowledge but I just don't see it as THAT big of a deal.

I feel bad for women who think all men cheat. Men, like women, come in all shapes and emotional, maturity, ethical sizes. If you keep picking men who cheat it's because you manifest it by expecting it to happen. Have some standards and the right man will come.

I don't feel bad for people like the PP because she doesn't seem fazed by it. She has standards and she's fine with them. I only feel bad when people feel that way and wouls be destroyed by their spouse cheating on them. That seems miserable.

Well, it depends. I don't understand the destroyed feeling when it's a one-night stand, or two one-night stands, that kind of short-lived encounter. I do understand it when it's a years-long double life. I've heard of betrayed spouses finding out and vomiting, going through the stages of grief, just really freaking out. And I think that reaction is more to do with the lies and deception that they realize has been going on for years. It makes them doubt everything their spouse said and did during that time period, whether their spouse loves them, etc. I think one would have a similar reaction to finding out your spouse was funneling money to offshore accounts, or involved in some criminal enterprise. It's more about the lies and the broken trust than it is about the sex.

I'm the one that doesn't see it as that big of a deal. Maybe i'm just desensitized as a lot of my family (not from this country) has dealt with infidelity. It's kind of a given that the husband is going to pick up a side piece at some point or another. My mom, grandma, aunts, my uncles cheat...its just how it is. As long as they're good husbands and providers then you stick with them. My husband is more "americanized" and we talk about this subject occasionally in random conversation. I do NOT suspect he is or has cheated but it wouldn't be a deal breaker if he did because he's an excellent father and husband. Sure my ego would be hurt because it's natural to want our spouses to desire only us. But I have absolutely NO desire to date again or be a single mom and deal with custody agreements, etc.

Also my religion we don't take vows during the wedding ceremony - I just wanted to address a PP that asked why take vows.

[Anonymous]

So glad your bringing your crappy values to our country. It ok to cheat. It's ok to be here illegally. It's ok to send classified info on a personal server. The decaying values of America. Is this what globalization brings the USA?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All men cheat, no need to break up your family over it. As long as is not an emotional affair, just move on and let it be.

I tend to agree (30 yr old female here). I would never tell my husband this and I would certainly make his life hell for it but I would not divorce and split up my family over sex. Men can be immature horn dogs sometimes. Women too. Monogamy is hard and goes against instinct. No I've never cheated and neither has my husband to my knowledge but I just don't see it as THAT big of a deal.

I feel bad for women who think all men cheat. Men, like women, come in all shapes and emotional, maturity, ethical sizes. If you keep picking men who cheat it's because you manifest it by expecting it to happen. Have some standards and the right man will come.

I don't feel bad for people like the PP because she doesn't seem fazed by it. She has standards and she's fine with them. I only feel bad when people feel that way and wouls be destroyed by their spouse cheating on them. That seems miserable.

Well, it depends. I don't understand the destroyed feeling when it's a one-night stand, or two one-night stands, that kind of short-lived encounter. I do understand it when it's a years-long double life. I've heard of betrayed spouses finding out and vomiting, going through the stages of grief, just really freaking out. And I think that reaction is more to do with the lies and deception that they realize has been going on for years. It makes them doubt everything their spouse said and did during that time period, whether their spouse loves them, etc. I think one would have a similar reaction to finding out your spouse was funneling money to offshore accounts, or involved in some criminal enterprise. It's more about the lies and the broken trust than it is about the sex.

I'm the one that doesn't see it as that big of a deal. Maybe i'm just desensitized as a lot of my family (not from this country) has dealt with infidelity. It's kind of a given that the husband is going to pick up a side piece at some point or another. My mom, grandma, aunts, my uncles cheat...its just how it is. As long as they're good husbands and providers then you stick with them. My husband is more "americanized" and we talk about this subject occasionally in random conversation. I do NOT suspect he is or has cheated but it wouldn't be a deal breaker if he did because he's an excellent father and husband. Sure my ego would be hurt because it's natural to want our spouses to desire only us. But I have absolutely NO desire to date again or be a single mom and deal with custody agreements, etc.

Also my religion we don't take vows during the wedding ceremony - I just wanted to address a PP that asked why take vows.

I'm curious to know where your family is from?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So glad your bringing your crappy values to our country. It ok to cheat. It's ok to be here illegally. It's ok to send classified info on a personal server. The decaying values of America. Is this what globalization brings the USA?

Lol, what a nutjob

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So glad your bringing your crappy values to our country. It ok to cheat. It's ok to be here illegally. It's ok to send classified info on a personal server. The decaying values of America. Is this what globalization brings the USA?

Lol, what a nutjob

I know.

Illegal immigrants, Hilary Clinton , globilization, and cheating
Hilarious! As if cheating is an imported behavior completely unknown to America before the hoards arrived and invaded our pristine and puritanical way of life.

[Anonymous]

I certainly wouldn't say anything, that's a waste of oxygen. He'll merely make up a story if he is cheating. Find out where he is going after work, are there any time differences. You should know how long it takes him to get home, look for patterns. Yes check phone records, computer. I have a friend who caught her husband because her and her friend ended up following him in her car. Most importantly don't guess, and really why would a condom be in his car to begin with....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it was from his period of unemployment - he may have had trysts during the day. But now that he's back to work he's not doing it anymore, so forgot about the condoms.

The past, current or future...whether I stayed because of kids and finances I wouldn't ever care about that person again. Cheating is serious, your health could be in danger because of deadly STD's. If I had to buy a GPS from Amazon and put it under his car I would do it. He who hides nothing has nothing to hide, so check up on him and find out where he goes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Run away OP. Life is too short to be with a man who has weird sex with strangers. Lube and condoms in his car is NO joke. He is gross. Move on.

That's what I was thinking, creepy but on this forum you're dealing with all walks of life and it's normal in their part of the world...sadly. You really see so many that need to raise the bar but probably can't get out of their rut.

[Anonymous]

When I see or hear of a crime of passion happening I rarely feel sorry for those involved. You should have kept it, whatever it is, in your pants.

Adultery in itself is mental torture to the one you're cheating on. If you end up with lead to the head, oh well.

#freebettybrodericknow

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm late to the game here, but OP this just happened to me to. I'm so sorry. I know you want to believe him, but he is lying to you. He is cheating on you and it is going to take a lot for him to tell you the truth. I found condoms and my DH made up stories too (they were old!). I had to kick him out before I got the truth. He was hooking up with random women through aps on his phone. He would meet them, have sex and never talk to them again. OP, it will be so hard to trace this. The aps can be deleted in a minute erasing all evidence, the phone calls and texts go through google voice, alternate email accounts, etc. The fact is that it is so easy to cheat these days, it is laughable. If you are looking for concrete evidence, it may be hard to find. And your husband is likely to deny, deny, deny. Best of luck to you. It is such a shitty hand to be dealt. I too have two small children. All of the choices you will need to make suck.

And it's even easier to catch a cheater. Get a gps from Amazon with a good magnet. It will tell you everywhere that car and been with the address, you simply upload the info to your computer. You'll know where he is going, asking is pointless and always a mistake. Get the info. then decide what to do. Stock money away, move assets whatever.

Or have a friend follow him or use their car, another option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I see or hear of a crime of passion happening I rarely feel sorry for those involved. You should have kept it, whatever it is, in your pants.

Adultery in itself is mental torture to the one you're cheating on. If you end up with lead to the head, oh well.

#freebettybrodericknow

LOL So funny because I read the Betty B. book and wow there certainly was two sides to that story. After reading it, I was at least happy Dan and Linda got their just desserts. Truly rotten people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All men cheat, no need to break up your family over it. As long as is not an emotional affair, just move on and let it be.

I tend to agree (30 yr old female here). I would never tell my husband this and I would certainly make his life hell for it but I would not divorce and split up my family over sex. Men can be immature horn dogs sometimes. Women too. Monogamy is hard and goes against instinct. No I've never cheated and neither has my husband to my knowledge but I just don't see it as THAT big of a deal.

I feel bad for women who think all men cheat. Men, like women, come in all shapes and emotional, maturity, ethical sizes. If you keep picking men who cheat it's because you manifest it by expecting it to happen. Have some standards and the right man will come.

I don't feel bad for people like the PP because she doesn't seem fazed by it. She has standards and she's fine with them. I only feel bad when people feel that way and wouls be destroyed by their spouse cheating on them. That seems miserable.

Well, it depends. I don't understand the destroyed feeling when it's a one-night stand, or two one-night stands, that kind of short-lived encounter. I do understand it when it's a years-long double life. I've heard of betrayed spouses finding out and vomiting, going through the stages of grief, just really freaking out. And I think that reaction is more to do with the lies and deception that they realize has been going on for years. It makes them doubt everything their spouse said and did during that time period, whether their spouse loves them, etc. I think one would have a similar reaction to finding out your spouse was funneling money to offshore accounts, or involved in some criminal enterprise. It's more about the lies and the broken trust than it is about the sex.

I'm the one that doesn't see it as that big of a deal. Maybe i'm just desensitized as a lot of my family (not from this country) has dealt with infidelity. It's kind of a given that the husband is going to pick up a side piece at some point or another. My mom, grandma, aunts, my uncles cheat...its just how it is. As long as they're good husbands and providers then you stick with them. My husband is more "americanized" and we talk about this subject occasionally in random conversation. I do NOT suspect he is or has cheated but it wouldn't be a deal breaker if he did because he's an excellent father and husband. Sure my ego would be hurt because it's natural to want our spouses to desire only us. But I have absolutely NO desire to date again or be a single mom and deal with custody agreements, etc.

Also my religion we don't take vows during the wedding ceremony - I just wanted to address a PP that asked why take vows.

I'm curious to know where your family is from?

It wouldn't matter because dysfunctional can come from anywhere, here or another country. When you think cheating is normal, it's called dysfunctional taught and passed down to the poor kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So glad your bringing your crappy values to our country. It ok to cheat. It's ok to be here illegally. It's ok to send classified info on a personal server. The decaying values of America. Is this what globalization brings the USA?

Lol, what a nutjob

Until he falls in love with his side piece and leaves her and she has to get a j.o.b. Turning a blind eye can sometimes have them fall completely n live with the side piece. That's what happens in Anerica, honey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it was from his period of unemployment - he may have had trysts during the day. But now that he's back to work he's not doing it anymore, so forgot about the condoms.

The past, current or future...whether I stayed because of kids and finances I wouldn't ever care about that person again. Cheating is serious, your health could be in danger because of deadly STD's. If I had to buy a GPS from Amazon and put it under his car I would do it. He who hides nothing has nothing to hide, so check up on him and find out where he goes.

Yep. HIV, HSV-1, hepatitis,,,,no thanks. I'd freak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So glad your bringing your crappy values to our country. It ok to cheat. It's ok to be here illegally. It's ok to send classified info on a personal server. The decaying values of America. Is this what globalization brings the USA?

. Ha ha. Like any of that is new?