Reply to Found a condom in my husband's car

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]All men cheat,  no need to break up your family over it.   As long as is not an emotional affair,  just move on and let it be. [/quote]

I tend to agree (30 yr old female here). I would never tell my husband this and I would certainly make his life hell for it but I would not divorce and split up my family over sex. Men can be immature horn dogs sometimes. Women too. Monogamy is hard and goes against instinct. No I've never cheated and neither has my husband to my knowledge but I just don't see it as THAT big of a deal. [/quote]

I feel bad for women who think all men cheat. Men, like women, come in all shapes and emotional, maturity, ethical sizes. If you keep picking men who cheat it's because you manifest it by expecting it to happen. Have some standards and the right man will come.[/quote]
I don't feel bad for people like the PP because she doesn't seem fazed by it. She has standards and she's fine with them. I only feel bad when people feel that way and wouls be destroyed by their spouse cheating on them. That seems miserable. [/quote]

Well, it depends.  I don't understand the destroyed feeling when it's a one-night stand, or two one-night stands, that kind of short-lived encounter.  I do understand it when it's a years-long double life.  I've heard of betrayed spouses finding out and vomiting, going through the stages of grief, just really freaking out.  And I think that reaction is more to do with the lies and deception that they realize has been going on for years.  It makes them doubt everything their spouse said and did during that time period, whether their spouse loves them, etc.  I think one would have a similar reaction to finding out your spouse was funneling money to offshore accounts, or involved in some criminal enterprise.  It's more about the lies and the broken trust than it is about the sex.[/quote]

I'm the one that doesn't see it as that big of a deal. Maybe i'm just desensitized as a lot of my family (not from this country) has dealt with infidelity. It's kind of a given that the husband is going to pick up a side piece at some point or another. My mom, grandma, aunts, my uncles cheat...its just how it is. As long as they're good husbands and providers then you stick with them. My husband is more "americanized" and we talk about this subject occasionally in random conversation. I do NOT suspect he is or has cheated but it wouldn't be a deal breaker if he did because he's an excellent father and husband. Sure my ego would be hurt because it's natural to want our spouses to desire only us. But I have absolutely NO desire to date again or be a single mom and deal with custody agreements, etc.

Also my religion we don't take vows during the wedding ceremony - I just wanted to address a PP that asked why take vows.[/quote]

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