Party requesting guests to take shoes off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so bizarre to me that literally the rest of the world seems to manage removing shoes just fine. Like asian grandmas are without shoes and sitting on floors until they are 100, but everyone in the US has such ailments that going without shoes for 5 minutes is detrimental to their health. Honestly, maybe more americans should not wear shoes indoors to relieve some of these extreme issues.

If you want to make a point be realistic. The only people staying for 5 minutes are the people who leave almost immediately.
I might be OK sans shoes for a while but it would be tough. Fallen arches and weak ankles. I wear usually wear orthotics. Although with advance notice I would bring indoor shoes.

But how will OP know that they are indoor shoes? Do you bring them new in the box so she can check the soles to make sure they've never been worn? And then do you throw them away afterwards?

She could look at the bottom if necessary. I wouldn't go to someone's house who is that anal, though. Even if someone brings house slippers, how does OP know they've never stepped foot out the door?
If anyone is that concerned they need to decline hosting or find another venue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have to admit, as a Canadian, American’s requirement to wear shoes inside is completely bizarre to me. It’s another difference that, like circumcision and guns, I feel the complete polarities in our culture. I live minutes from the border so it’s not like the disparity should be so great, but it is.

This is part of why I love DCUM.

Do you know what requirement means?

I have also never been in a Canadian house in which I was asked to remove my shoes (barring the obvious removal of wet or muddy footwear, which shockingly Americans will do as well). Canadian gymnasiums will often have a pile of shoes outside the door, but about half the people inside the gym don’t bother to remove their outdoor footwear, so what’s the point?

Just typical Canadian pretending to be better than Americans while not actually doing a simple task correctly or completely.

Well I already qualified my wording, but I guess you weren’t through enough, like I wouldn’t expect you to be through enough to wipe the sidewalk dog poop off your shoes before walking on my carpets!

And people wearing their shoes in the gym are generally known to be jerks, but we accept them too. It’s rude, and we know who is who.

We’re not better. This is just simple. What do you think you’re catching WEARING SOCKS? This kind of explains why the mask this was so hard for the US and fairly simple for most of the rest of the world.

Thorough, before you leave me as an idiot.

I am not leaving you as an idiot, although I do feel dumber for having read your posts. I will, however, label you as an idiot.

Oh look! Another articulate post with a well thought out position encouraging fruitful discussion!

We all have different goals. Mine is to call out idiocy, not to have a "fruitful" discussion with anonymous randoms on the internet (particularly when their definition of "fruitful" is what our friend from the great unwashed North previously posted).

So no discussion that you disagree with, from people not your kind, on what is clearly a discussion board. Gotcha.

Guessing you’re not in DC for the diplomatic service?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so bizarre to me that literally the rest of the world seems to manage removing shoes just fine. Like asian grandmas are without shoes and sitting on floors until they are 100, but everyone in the US has such ailments that going without shoes for 5 minutes is detrimental to their health. Honestly, maybe more americans should not wear shoes indoors to relieve some of these extreme issues.

If you want to make a point be realistic. The only people staying for 5 minutes are the people who leave almost immediately.
I might be OK sans shoes for a while but it would be tough. Fallen arches and weak ankles. I wear usually wear orthotics. Although with advance notice I would bring indoor shoes.

You should seek out a good physiotherapist and orthopedist if your feet are too weak to socialize short periods. Maybe a walker or cane? Or indoor shoes?

Not that it would be any of my host's business, but I have a disability that contributes to the foot issues. I do use a walker but if dh is with me I lean on him. I can't stand up unsupported, I will fall. There are a lot of places I just don't go and op's would be one of them.

[Anonymous]

I find that the motivation to remove shoes is to avoid cleaning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so bizarre to me that literally the rest of the world seems to manage removing shoes just fine. Like asian grandmas are without shoes and sitting on floors until they are 100, but everyone in the US has such ailments that going without shoes for 5 minutes is detrimental to their health. Honestly, maybe more americans should not wear shoes indoors to relieve some of these extreme issues.

If you want to make a point be realistic. The only people staying for 5 minutes are the people who leave almost immediately.
I might be OK sans shoes for a while but it would be tough. Fallen arches and weak ankles. I wear usually wear orthotics. Although with advance notice I would bring indoor shoes.

You should seek out a good physiotherapist and orthopedist if your feet are too weak to socialize short periods. Maybe a walker or cane? Or indoor shoes?

Not that it would be any of my host's business, but I have a disability that contributes to the foot issues. I do use a walker but if dh is with me I lean on him. I can't stand up unsupported, I will fall. There are a lot of places I just don't go and op's would be one of them.

In all honesty, why wouldn’t it be your hosts business for you to be safe? If you use a walker and can’t stand up unsupported, the you probably also have blue parking, so the fact that you have some sort of disability isn’t exactly under Top Secret clearance. I can’t imagine most people turning away your situation, even if it’s not their preference.

Can you not see that it is very different to host an entire party of shod people who don’t want to take their shoes off because they are precious about their outfit and allowing someone with a valid safety concern to keep their shoes on?

And your “not their business” thing is a red herring. Are you not your own advocate? If you feel Less than, then perhaps you need to find some assistance for that. It’s odd that you can’t differentiate. I have many friends with very severe disabilities, let me know if you need help with discussing self acceptance and advocacy. Your disability isn’t something to feel ashamed of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a medical issue where I need to wear a brace that sits in my shoe. I literally can’t walk without it. When I am asked to remove my shoes at someone’s house I explain to the host and keep my shoes on. It has lead to some awkwardness as I have my shoes on as everyone else has to take them off. I did have one neighbor who said that taking shoes off wasn’t optional, so I apologized and left the party.

Just being shoe covers.

You’ll be shocked to learn that someone who needs a brace to walk doesn’t do well with the extra fall hazard of sliding paper over my shoes.

I left with no hard feelings when I couldn’t wear shoes. If people prioritize a shoe free house over accommodation for my issue, I’m fine with it. Truly, I am. I’m not saying that to be snarky. But that it really the situation I find myself in when people have shoe free events.

My BFF has a similar need to wear shoes. She brings indoor shoes when she goes out, or if she is in a position to not change shoes, she wears shoe covers on her indoor shoes to the door and then removes those.

NP. I have a friend with spina bifida who is in a similar situation to PP. She wears leg braces and must wear a particular kind of shoe with them otherwise she literally cannot walk at all. She has a damaged spinal cord and no feeling at all in her lower legs or feet, so the braces and shoes allow her feet to be kept in line to balance even though she can’t feel past her knees. Sort of like artificial limbs. She drives an adapted car and her walking is very slow and effortful and her balance is easily upset.

Forcing someone like this to shlep extra pairs of shoes so she can feel like a spectacle and struggle to sit down and stand up while she changes and possibly fall and generally just feel like a leper, all so outdoor shoes don’t come into the host’s house, is so breathtakingly rude. If I saw a guest with CP or spina bifida doing that to cope with a host’s requirements I would think the host was abhorrent and totally thoughtless and should never host anything again. Maybe people should also bring a second set of indoor crutches, or an indoor wheelchair, since those touch the ground?

I get the cultural gaps and I don’t wear shoes in the house either. But there are exceptions to every rule.

Nobody will expect people with such issues to take off their shoes. C'mon. People are not inflexible. Disabled, sick, or elderly individuals are in every culture and society (except N Korea).

You're wrong. There are some serious germa

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so bizarre to me that literally the rest of the world seems to manage removing shoes just fine. Like asian grandmas are without shoes and sitting on floors until they are 100, but everyone in the US has such ailments that going without shoes for 5 minutes is detrimental to their health. Honestly, maybe more americans should not wear shoes indoors to relieve some of these extreme issues.

If you want to make a point be realistic. The only people staying for 5 minutes are the people who leave almost immediately.
I might be OK sans shoes for a while but it would be tough. Fallen arches and weak ankles. I wear usually wear orthotics. Although with advance notice I would bring indoor shoes.

You should seek out a good physiotherapist and orthopedist if your feet are too weak to socialize short periods. Maybe a walker or cane? Or indoor shoes?

Not that it would be any of my host's business, but I have a disability that contributes to the foot issues. I do use a walker but if dh is with me I lean on him. I can't stand up unsupported, I will fall. There are a lot of places I just don't go and op's would be one of them.

In all honesty, why wouldn’t it be your hosts business for you to be safe? If you use a walker and can’t stand up unsupported, the you probably also have blue parking, so the fact that you have some sort of disability isn’t exactly under Top Secret clearance. I can’t imagine most people turning away your situation, even if it’s not their preference.

Can you not see that it is very different to host an entire party of shod people who don’t want to take their shoes off because they are precious about their outfit and allowing someone with a valid safety concern to keep their shoes on?

And your “not their business” thing is a red herring. Are you not your own advocate? If you feel Less than, then perhaps you need to find some assistance for that. It’s odd that you can’t differentiate. I have many friends with very severe disabilities, let me know if you need help with discussing self acceptance and advocacy. Your disability isn’t something to feel ashamed of.

I advocate just fine. Op's event isn't something worth the hassle of attending, not just for footwear reasons.

Of course there's a difference between a disability and fashion, but I have been to places where people still thought I should remove my shoes.

Nobody hosting a dinner needs to know any specifics of my disability.

[Anonymous]

Im in the camp that says just tell me ahead of time. I’d rather no be surprised with hokey socks or whatever.

[Anonymous]

I didn't read all the replies but we are a no-shoes home, although I don't require people to remove their shoes if they are uncomfortable. But one thing I do is that when we travel I ALWAYS take every pair of hotel slippers I can find and now I have a basket of slippers at our front door for guests to use lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so bizarre to me that literally the rest of the world seems to manage removing shoes just fine. Like asian grandmas are without shoes and sitting on floors until they are 100, but everyone in the US has such ailments that going without shoes for 5 minutes is detrimental to their health. Honestly, maybe more americans should not wear shoes indoors to relieve some of these extreme issues.

If you want to make a point be realistic. The only people staying for 5 minutes are the people who leave almost immediately.
I might be OK sans shoes for a while but it would be tough. Fallen arches and weak ankles. I wear usually wear orthotics. Although with advance notice I would bring indoor shoes.

You should seek out a good physiotherapist and orthopedist if your feet are too weak to socialize short periods. Maybe a walker or cane? Or indoor shoes?

Not that it would be any of my host's business, but I have a disability that contributes to the foot issues. I do use a walker but if dh is with me I lean on him. I can't stand up unsupported, I will fall. There are a lot of places I just don't go and op's would be one of them.

In all honesty, why wouldn’t it be your hosts business for you to be safe? If you use a walker and can’t stand up unsupported, the you probably also have blue parking, so the fact that you have some sort of disability isn’t exactly under Top Secret clearance. I can’t imagine most people turning away your situation, even if it’s not their preference.

Can you not see that it is very different to host an entire party of shod people who don’t want to take their shoes off because they are precious about their outfit and allowing someone with a valid safety concern to keep their shoes on?

And your “not their business” thing is a red herring. Are you not your own advocate? If you feel Less than, then perhaps you need to find some assistance for that. It’s odd that you can’t differentiate. I have many friends with very severe disabilities, let me know if you need help with discussing self acceptance and advocacy. Your disability isn’t something to feel ashamed of.

I advocate just fine. Op's event isn't something worth the hassle of attending, not just for footwear reasons.

Of course there's a difference between a disability and fashion, but I have been to places where people still thought I should remove my shoes.

Nobody hosting a dinner needs to know any specifics of my disability.

“I have a condition that
Necessitates me wearing shoes, even indoors, to help prevent falls. I know you requested no shoes, but I wanted to let you know These are indoor shoes that I use specifically as a guest”

That’s no more specific than having blue parking, is it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find that the motivation to remove shoes is to avoid cleaning.

I mean, yeah? That is what the shoes-off people are saying, and the shoes-optional people are saying you should let your guests do what they want and clean the next day.

But hosts get to decide what they're up for, and guests get to decide if what's on offer appeals to them or if they'd rather pass.

This is basically the kid-free wedding issue.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get it. Who cares? No one is walking around your bedroom or ensuite bathroom with their shoes. Plus floors need to be cleaned after large parties regardless of shoe status. Stop making a big deal out of nothing. Let people decide what they are comfortable with. The exception would be if you have wall to wall carpet where people will be gathered. But even then, I probably wouldn’t insist on shoes off unless the weather outside was terrible..

[Anonymous]

I still want to know more about the Canadians wearing socks at the gym!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't read all the replies but we are a no-shoes home, although I don't require people to remove their shoes if they are uncomfortable. But one thing I do is that when we travel I ALWAYS take every pair of hotel slippers I can find and now I have a basket of slippers at our front door for guests to use lol.

lol
I have worn those slippers and they're like a piece of large flapping cardboard strapped to my foot with a piece of terry cloth.
I'm picturing guests flapping around your house with glasses of red wine and sloshing on your furniture lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If more than two couples, i would not task anyone to take shoes off. Close doors to bedrooms and schedule cleaners for the next day. Remember that unless you are in a city, most people drive and just go to stores. My heels that i bring out for a party arent used for hiking.
I habe a shoes free household for us. But i would never ask my inlaws to take their orthopedic shoes off for example. When hosting, its about guest comfort.

I am 59 years old and don't wear orthopedic shoes - that you can tell. BUT I have horrible feet and knees and wear orthotics in my shoes. I am nearly NEVER without shoes - even in my own home I can't walk around barefoot as it's incredibly painful on my knees. So I would comply, but I'd need to sit most of the night, so please make sure you have enough seating for everyone - I CANNOT be left leaning against a counter standing for an hour or so.

Also, I think you need to tell people, or (like many women) I'd wear cute shoes with no socks - unless it's winter - and then I'd be barefoot - isn't that grosser? Just, ugh. Also, my socks don't always pass muster for public view - I might have a small hole in one heel that won't show but I don't have time to find another pair that matches, etc.

But on the other hand - your home, your rules. I just don't see why all adults hanging around in the livingroom, diningroom and kitchen is so gross - none of them were out hiking in their shoes they'd wear to a party, NONE of them are going to jump on the beds or even go into the bedroom. You can vacuum and wash the floors the next day - you will have to clean up anyway from the party.