In tears about my daughter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not a troll, did you ask your kid what they plan to do with a degree in English? Maybe you can brainstorm together. Otherwise, your kid has called your bluff, and both of you must live with the consequences.

FWIW, my DH and I have BA degrees from an Ivy. We are doing fine.

OP here. She told me she wants to “go into publishing” and “get an MFA in creative writing” down the line. While we are full-pay, we CANNOT afford to bankroll her after graduation. I keep telling her that publishing and MFA programs are for rich kids, but she won’t listen!

Wrong again. I have an MFA that I paid for myself. In theatre (gasp)!!! Not from a rich family. Her Ivy undergrad may help her get into an MFA program that is fully subsidized. Or, she can go to a great program that isn't as expensive and figure out how to pay. But, that is for her to figure out. You support her in undergrad and salvage your relationship before it's too late. And, quit harshing on the humanities. It just makes you look ignorant.

+1
This is a great post on which to end this thread.

[Anonymous]

I was a humanities major and I've had a hard go of it. I often tell my early teenage son that he can major in any one of the five acceptable majors: Physics, Math, Applied Math, Statistics or Computer Science. But it's a joke between us. I can't imagine holding a serious ultimatum over his head. OP, I hope you find peace with your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are right about the MFA programs OP, BUT you just wasted a lot of credibility trying to make your dd major in certain subjects or cut her off.

I think it's reasonable to pay for most undergrad degrees, including English, but for parents not to pay for grad school. Tell her you will compromise by paying for whatever major she wants right now, but will not pay for grad school or professional school in any major, no matter what it is. (MFA, Medicine, Law, etc..)

Getting a full pay undergrad degree with no loans is unusual now, so she will be ahead of the game already. And no matter what she wants to do post graduate, she will have to find a way to pay for it. Seems like a good compromise that will make her think.

OP here. We have already told her that we won’t be paying for grad school (we told her this in HS) and won’t be bankrolling her after graduation.

What grades is she earning to date? Does she master stem subjects or humanities subjects more easily?

She is a freshman so no grades. In HS she was better at humanities, but I attribute that to grade inflation more than anything else.

Of course you do. What did we expect from someone so biased and uniformed? Let your kid lead the way on this. She seems to be the wiser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a humanities major and I've had a hard go of it. I often tell my early teenage son that he can major in any one of the five acceptable majors: Physics, Math, Applied Math, Statistics or Computer Science. But it's a joke between us. I can't imagine holding a serious ultimatum over his head. OP, I hope you find peace with your daughter.

Exactly this. The job prospects are bleak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a humanities major and I've had a hard go of it. I often tell my early teenage son that he can major in any one of the five acceptable majors: Physics, Math, Applied Math, Statistics or Computer Science. But it's a joke between us. I can't imagine holding a serious ultimatum over his head. OP, I hope you find peace with your daughter.

Exactly this. The job prospects are bleak.

Ugh I really hate to repeat myself across so many of these similar threads but of course if you seek a job in “history” or “philosophy” or “religion” you are not going to find a job. The trick is to gain marketable skills to do most any corporate job (or nonprofit) out there because that’s where jobs are. So writing, verbal communications, leadership, analysis, these are the skills you will gain and parlay into any entry level job out there and then work and be recognized and promoted. That’s what I did, that’s what my husband did, that’s what millions of people do each year.

[Anonymous]

My parents were pleased to no end that my sibling earned a PhD from Stanford Business.
God she bent over backwards for that degree. Sibling never could hold a job, was terminated left and right. Divorced, the kids don't want to see sibling so the kids were part of the collateral for the degree. Today sibling is nomadic living off friend couches. But sibling is very good at managing personal stocks so that's kind of the day job.

A high end degree isn't a guarantee of anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a humanities major and I've had a hard go of it. I often tell my early teenage son that he can major in any one of the five acceptable majors: Physics, Math, Applied Math, Statistics or Computer Science. But it's a joke between us. I can't imagine holding a serious ultimatum over his head. OP, I hope you find peace with your daughter.

Exactly this. The job prospects are bleak.

They're fine if you do everything right. If you get good grades and internships, you can do fine. I was in a friend group that included a lot of serious problem drinkers. The quant kids bounced back much more easily from their self imposed problems. The humanities kids are stuck in mid tier education/nonprofit careers, with some falling into the service sector. Doing a quant discipline is insurance against your own failures (as is an ivy degree) but if you're a straight arrow you can do well regardless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a humanities major and I've had a hard go of it. I often tell my early teenage son that he can major in any one of the five acceptable majors: Physics, Math, Applied Math, Statistics or Computer Science. But it's a joke between us. I can't imagine holding a serious ultimatum over his head. OP, I hope you find peace with your daughter.

Exactly this. The job prospects are bleak.

They're fine if you do everything right. If you get good grades and internships, you can do fine. I was in a friend group that included a lot of serious problem drinkers. The quant kids bounced back much more easily from their self imposed problems. The humanities kids are stuck in mid tier education/nonprofit careers, with some falling into the service sector. Doing a quant discipline is insurance against your own failures (as is an ivy degree) but if you're a straight arrow you can do well regardless.[/quote]

No, if you’re a straight arrow with a BA in English, the future still is bleak for you. I don’t want my DD to go to Princeton and end up in shitty education/NPO jobs. That would be awful.

[Anonymous]

I was talking to an engineer last weekend. He hires for a major company in the DMV. He said he regularly interviews science and tech majors, including from Ivy schools, who can’t speak or write.

In the past year, he started focusing heavily on recruiting English majors. Why? They can communicate, a skill many of his STEM recruits lack.

Perhaps we shouldn’t look down on an English degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a humanities major and I've had a hard go of it. I often tell my early teenage son that he can major in any one of the five acceptable majors: Physics, Math, Applied Math, Statistics or Computer Science. But it's a joke between us. I can't imagine holding a serious ultimatum over his head. OP, I hope you find peace with your daughter.

Exactly this. The job prospects are bleak.

They're fine if you do everything right. If you get good grades and internships, you can do fine. I was in a friend group that included a lot of serious problem drinkers. The quant kids bounced back much more easily from their self imposed problems. The humanities kids are stuck in mid tier education/nonprofit careers, with some falling into the service sector. Doing a quant discipline is insurance against your own failures (as is an ivy degree) but if you're a straight arrow you can do well regardless.[/quote]

No, if you’re a straight arrow with a BA in English, the future still is bleak for you. I don’t want my DD to go to Princeton and end up in shitty education/NPO jobs. That would be awful.

Come on… we don’t see “troll” here? Getting an education or NPO job would be “awful”? You’re trying far too hard to insult people. It’s growing quite obvious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a humanities major and I've had a hard go of it. I often tell my early teenage son that he can major in any one of the five acceptable majors: Physics, Math, Applied Math, Statistics or Computer Science. But it's a joke between us. I can't imagine holding a serious ultimatum over his head. OP, I hope you find peace with your daughter.

Exactly this. The job prospects are bleak.

Ugh I really hate to repeat myself across so many of these similar threads but of course if you seek a job in “history” or “philosophy” or “religion” you are not going to find a job. The trick is to gain marketable skills to do most any corporate job (or nonprofit) out there because that’s where jobs are. So writing, verbal communications, leadership, analysis, these are the skills you will gain and parlay into any entry level job out there and then work and be recognized and promoted. That’s what I did, that’s what my husband did, that’s what millions of people do each year.

Don't waste your breath. There are many who believe what they want to believe and the more you try to educate them, the more they dig in their heels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a humanities major and I've had a hard go of it. I often tell my early teenage son that he can major in any one of the five acceptable majors: Physics, Math, Applied Math, Statistics or Computer Science. But it's a joke between us. I can't imagine holding a serious ultimatum over his head. OP, I hope you find peace with your daughter.

Exactly this. The job prospects are bleak.

They're fine if you do everything right. If you get good grades and internships, you can do fine. I was in a friend group that included a lot of serious problem drinkers. The quant kids bounced back much more easily from their self imposed problems. The humanities kids are stuck in mid tier education/nonprofit careers, with some falling into the service sector. Doing a quant discipline is insurance against your own failures (as is an ivy degree) but if you're a straight arrow you can do well regardless.[/quote]

No, if you’re a straight arrow with a BA in English, the future still is bleak for you. I don’t want my DD to go to Princeton and end up in shitty education/NPO jobs. That would be awful.

Come on… we don’t see “troll” here? Getting an education or NPO job would be “awful”? You’re trying far too hard to insult people. It’s growing quite obvious.

I agree, this comment from OP about getting a “shitty education or nonprofit job” sold it for me, clearly a troll. You jumped the shark OP! Thanks for the entertainment though!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a humanities major and I've had a hard go of it. I often tell my early teenage son that he can major in any one of the five acceptable majors: Physics, Math, Applied Math, Statistics or Computer Science. But it's a joke between us. I can't imagine holding a serious ultimatum over his head. OP, I hope you find peace with your daughter.

Exactly this. The job prospects are bleak.

They're fine if you do everything right. If you get good grades and internships, you can do fine. I was in a friend group that included a lot of serious problem drinkers. The quant kids bounced back much more easily from their self imposed problems. The humanities kids are stuck in mid tier education/nonprofit careers, with some falling into the service sector. Doing a quant discipline is insurance against your own failures (as is an ivy degree) but if you're a straight arrow you can do well regardless.[/quote]

No, if you’re a straight arrow with a BA in English, the future still is bleak for you. I don’t want my DD to go to Princeton and end up in shitty education/NPO jobs. That would be awful.

Come on… we don’t see “troll” here? Getting an education or NPO job would be “awful”? You’re trying far too hard to insult people. It’s growing quite obvious.

I agree, this comment from OP about getting a “shitty education or nonprofit job” sold it for me, clearly a troll. You jumped the shark OP! Thanks for the entertainment though!

Yes, that statement was a step too far. Clearly a troll. I agree that it was a fun ride while it lasted. I’m also glad to see there are so many reasonable people out there, telling her the value of humanities degrees. Another benefit to this thread!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a humanities major and I've had a hard go of it. I often tell my early teenage son that he can major in any one of the five acceptable majors: Physics, Math, Applied Math, Statistics or Computer Science. But it's a joke between us. I can't imagine holding a serious ultimatum over his head. OP, I hope you find peace with your daughter.

Exactly this. The job prospects are bleak.

They're fine if you do everything right. If you get good grades and internships, you can do fine. I was in a friend group that included a lot of serious problem drinkers. The quant kids bounced back much more easily from their self imposed problems. The humanities kids are stuck in mid tier education/nonprofit careers, with some falling into the service sector. Doing a quant discipline is insurance against your own failures (as is an ivy degree) but if you're a straight arrow you can do well regardless.[/quote]

No, if you’re a straight arrow with a BA in English, the future still is bleak for you. I don’t want my DD to go to Princeton and end up in shitty education/NPO jobs. That would be awful.

That doesn't follow from what I wrote. And in fact, I know humanities majors from other friends groups who are quite successful. Most in education, nonprofits, the arts or law, which you will probably discount, but others in consulting, which is harder to ignore.

[Anonymous]

I would have concerns about an English degree from a community college. But from Princeton, it’s fine.
I know English majors who run non-profits, are professors at fancy universities, and are computer programmers (that one minored on physics and basically just figured out programming on the side).