| Kids are people and sometimes people are evil. |
All because of trauma. One of which is definitely being beaten as a child. This is so obvious and clear to so many of us that it is actually shocking to see so much confusion regarding this sort of cause/effect. Don’t you see how violent places like Afghanistan are? Culturally ingrained violence? Why is this not clearly related to how they treat their children? |
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If you hit your kid, you are a broken person.
You are a piece of sht. End of story. |
9 out of 10 grown men could have easily whipped Hitler’s butt in a physical confrontation. Real power does not depend on being physically stronger. |
+100 |
So killing is the same as spanking. Ok. If it were it would be illegal. Come on. I don't spank but this is an extreme view. I am also pro-life and have a view that many would not agree with... |
+ 1 It really is that simple. |
| For all of you endorsing hitting/spanking/tapping/whatever you call it, how long did/do you intend to spank your children? What age do you intend to stop and why at that age? |
If you can’t see a direct line from being abused as a child to being an abusive and violent adult then you are beyond reason. No, that is not an “extreme” view. |
Are you one of the pro-spanking people? Do you not understand how messed up it is to invoke Hitler in your quest to explain that children shouldn't have to respect teachers by virtue of being the teacher? |
I think it's a battle that you have to continue to fight. I had a pretty bad childhood with hitting and emotional abuse. Now, I have a son with ADHD (which can be more trying than what is typical). One thing that has helped OP, is that I've let things go. I don't need to feel personally affronted because my DS isn't listening/responding to me as an authority figure. I also don't need to solve the primary issue (disobedience, lying, defiance, etc) in the moment. When I make it personal or feel that I need to immediately punish a certain behavior, situations have tended to escalate into anger on both sides, power struggles, and feeling that terrible anxiety/anger/helplessness that I felt as a child. Real authoritative parenting will come from keeping a positive relationship with your child, teaching them to manage their own emotions, implementing reasonable consequences when everyone is calm and more thoughtful, and maintaining moral authority. You lose the moral high ground when you've lost control of yourself in anger-- your child will repeat your patterns, and they won't respect you. |
In my opinion 5-8 years old but very rarely if at all. I noticed that after 8 there needs to be a longer period of discipline. I also don't think long periods of discipline are necessary for the younger ones. |
The actual point that physical strength /= right seems to have flown over your head. |
I'm with you but what about the millions of people that were spanked and are not violent. Nobody is addressing that. My friends that were spanked and spank now aren't violent. This is very extreme to me. |
Bending a child on your knee is violent. I've worked as a social worker and we would not say that this is violent abuse. |