Trying to handle baby + big law and failing miserably. Talk me down.

[Anonymous]

I’m quoting 14:13 here:
I did the same and for the same reason. DH doesn’t do any of those things she mentions. Food, clothing, appointments, renovations, the yard, the nanny, the pets, the activities of the kids, vacations, health related appointments, the car maintenance, cooking, lunches, pick up ... it’s a full time job in itself. When people ask me what I do all day. ... what I don’t do is rush through it or just throw money at it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, it’s surprising to me to read all the suggestions about how to make it work; get a nanny, don’t do pick ups, don’t do bedtime. I mean, these are precious days, people? How about spending time, and bonding with the baby? I guess now I know why I don’t earn the big bucks... I’m definitely not cut for this kind of lifestyle.

Cool then go find some other thread.

I do bedtimes now, as a senior associate. I couldn’t as a junior and early midlevel. So what. I have such a happy, rewarding life with my kids and the career I want.

This is why I had kids when I was an established mid-level/senior associate. I almost always made it home for bath and bedtime and would work at home as needed after 8:30/9pm. I made partner while I was on leave with my second child and now have good flexibility in terms of how I structure my day. At lot of this is timing.

[Anonymous]

HAHA I showed this thread to my BigLaw DH and he said it helps if you are a brilliant lawyer. Thames a bit less time to do the work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HAHA I showed this thread to my BigLaw DH and he said it helps if you are a brilliant lawyer. Thames a bit less time to do the work.

Do you work? (Just curious)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hire out everything, including meal planning/prep. Let DH take care of baby afterwork so you can focus on handling those annoying emails. Big Law is tough but pays well, so if you need that money and want the brass ring, you need to pay to play.

Crazy thought: maybe OP actually WANTS to spend time with her infant?

In which case it would be an easy choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HAHA I showed this thread to my BigLaw DH and he said it helps if you are a brilliant lawyer. Thames a bit less time to do the work.

Go away

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HAHA I showed this thread to my BigLaw DH and he said it helps if you are a brilliant lawyer. Thames a bit less time to do the work.

Do you work? (Just curious)

Yes but not in law. I asked him overall to consider all women lawyers in all levels over many years time and tell me what he thought. His reply matched that of an older but more well researched article in NYT about women lawyers. He said/ it said: men and women in law about equal in number as associates. The number of women drop off as they go upwards in the law firm steps. He was unable (his experience) to name a single senior woman partner who had children. Of the senior women partners that he knew he felt that these women were much, much more intelligent in law than the average male partner and also that they were faster/ more efficient. One persons opinion. I laughed because it’s a cliche. But cliches always have some truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HAHA I showed this thread to my BigLaw DH and he said it helps if you are a brilliant lawyer. Thames a bit less time to do the work.

Go away

FO

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So does it get better if you are partner? Like you hold off having children till you become partner. Understand they work just as hard but there should be more flexibility right? (assuming that you still can have children easily despite ama)

No it really doesn’t. Junior partners take s cut in pay for buy in. Suddenly you are an associate again in terms of pressure. You are also older so it might take more time and energy than you have to spare.

This is not true in many firms. Certainly not in mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HAHA I showed this thread to my BigLaw DH and he said it helps if you are a brilliant lawyer. Thames a bit less time to do the work.

Do you work? (Just curious)

Yes but not in law. I asked him overall to consider all women lawyers in all levels over many years time and tell me what he thought. His reply matched that of an older but more well researched article in NYT about women lawyers. He said/ it said: men and women in law about equal in number as associates. The number of women drop off as they go upwards in the law firm steps. He was unable (his experience) to name a single senior woman partner who had children. Of the senior women partners that he knew he felt that these women were much, much more intelligent in law than the average male partner and also that they were faster/ more efficient. One persons opinion. I laughed because it’s a cliche. But cliches always have some truth.

Yeah, my takeaway from his observations is that sexism is alive and well in the law.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HAHA I showed this thread to my BigLaw DH and he said it helps if you are a brilliant lawyer. Thames a bit less time to do the work.

Not to be a dick, but this sounds a lot like what some over confident guy who doesn't get much work because he's not in demand would say.

[Anonymous]

http://www.legalexecutiveinstitute.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/130-PM-2017-NAWL-Survey-Report.pdf
Google is your friend. One of many articles.

[Anonymous]

https://biglawbusiness.com/female-law-partners-face-53-percent-pay-gap-survey-finds
BigLaw doesn’t seem so friendly to women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:http://www.legalexecutiveinstitute.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/130-PM-2017-NAWL-Survey-Report.pdf
Google is your friend. One of many articles.

This is no secret. I don't get "Google is your friend." What are you trying to prove w/ this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, it’s surprising to me to read all the suggestions about how to make it work; get a nanny, don’t do pick ups, don’t do bedtime. I mean, these are precious days, people? How about spending time, and bonding with the baby? I guess now I know why I don’t earn the big bucks... I’m definitely not cut for this kind of lifestyle.

Cool then go find some other thread.

I do bedtimes now, as a senior associate. I couldn’t as a junior and early midlevel. So what. I have such a happy, rewarding life with my kids and the career I want.

This is why I had kids when I was an established mid-level/senior associate. I almost always made it home for bath and bedtime and would work at home as needed after 8:30/9pm. I made partner while I was on leave with my second child and now have good flexibility in terms of how I structure my day. At lot of this is timing.

I had kids as law student/junior and now as a senior I do bedtime with bigger kids. Lots of ways to do “timing.”