How hard to find a 1/2 time boyfriend in early 40s?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think it's realistic to find what you want. The key is to find a man with a similar hierarchy of priorities. That is, you need to find a man who is very busy with work, activities, children, travel, whatever, and doesn't want or have space in his life for a real relationship, but wouldn't mind companionship with sex every now and again. Men like this exist and would happily give up sexual variety in exchange for low-effort, low-stress sex and companionship. Yes, they can probably have more sex but lining up fresh partners is exhausting, especially post 50, if you're busy. It just takes a similarly minded person.

Nope. It's easy.

(53 year old divorced man)

You are just one person, not a movement representative.

(shrug) I'm not rich or handsome, I'm just an average guy. If I can do it, any 50-something man can.

Then you are less busy than a man she has in mind.

[Anonymous]

Over 50 it’s easier as most people start to be empty nesters then. It’s the 40-50 crunch w young kids that dating is harder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think it's realistic to find what you want. The key is to find a man with a similar hierarchy of priorities. That is, you need to find a man who is very busy with work, activities, children, travel, whatever, and doesn't want or have space in his life for a real relationship, but wouldn't mind companionship with sex every now and again. Men like this exist and would happily give up sexual variety in exchange for low-effort, low-stress sex and companionship. Yes, they can probably have more sex but lining up fresh partners is exhausting, especially post 50, if you're busy. It just takes a similarly minded person.

Nope. It's easy.

(53 year old divorced man)

You are just one person, not a movement representative.

(shrug) I'm not rich or handsome, I'm just an average guy. If I can do it, any 50-something man can.

Then you are less busy than a man she has in mind.

Professional with demanding job, two kids, 50/50 custody, I take them to lots of extracurriculars, plus I have my own hobbies. I'm plenty busy.

[Anonymous]

OK, PP - how many new partners have you lined since January 1st?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been reading this thread since OP posted, and I am frankly shocked by the responses in this "age of consent". OP clearly stated on the first page of the thread that she is interested in " monogamous casual thing a few times a month...pretty much sex only or hanging out at home." Then she asks "possible of unrealistic".

The vast majority of replies on this thread not only tell her unrealistic but that she must change her consent to either agree to non-monogamous sex, agree to a "real" relationship or accept that men will just violate her consent by agreeing to monogamous sex but secretly cheat on her. Various PPs cast OP as psychologically disordered or misinformed about her sexual or relational value to man. The whole thread pressures OP to consent to some kind of sex or relationship she has already stated she is not into. This thread is a classic example of #rapeculture.

OP, I guarantee you that there is a guy in the DC area who wants what you want. Your job is simply to put yourself out there, be honest about what you want, and keep saying "thank you, next," to anyone who wants you to consent to something (sex or relationship) that you are not ready for.

A fascinatingly stupid and insane tirade. Telling her that her goals are unrealistic is not pressuring her to do anything. She asked for feedback, and she can do whatever she wants with the information she gets.

Sad. Classic misogynistic response -- call the woman dumb and crazy. OP is getting much more than your opinion that she is unrealistic. The whole vibe of the thread is "OP, you are so unrealistic you are a dumb crazy bitch. Don't you know the only way you won't turn into a cat lady is to give us as much (or as little) sex and relationship as we want and if you don't we're just going to lie to you to get it."

Honestly, it's a bit tiresome.

[Anonymous]

What crazy-man doesn’t appear to realize is that women in their 40s with kids are far different than women in their mid-30s with no kids. There’s a peak of women who want sex to turn into long term relationships — women in their 30s.

Women in their 40s with kids don’t need to settle down with a man; they are often more choosy or more patient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK, PP - how many new partners have you lined since January 1st?

Also asking.

[Anonymous]

You guys, hes just gonna lie about the number. He's angry sexless marriage guy. Based on his personality, and the fact that he spends time trolling women on DCUM, it's clear he hasn't got much going on.

Single mom here, age 41. I've got this arrangement and it's lovely. My partner is on the same custody schedule as I am, so weekends I have my kids he has his kids, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys, hes just gonna lie about the number. He's angry sexless marriage guy. Based on his personality, and the fact that he spends time trolling women on DCUM, it's clear he hasn't got much going on.

Single mom here, age 41. I've got this arrangement and it's lovely. My partner is on the same custody schedule as I am, so weekends I have my kids he has his kids, too.

OP here: thanks for chiming in—you have a good situation! Can I ask—do you only have your kids on weekends? Do you see them during the week? How is it having them just or mostly on weekends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys, hes just gonna lie about the number. He's angry sexless marriage guy. Based on his personality, and the fact that he spends time trolling women on DCUM, it's clear he hasn't got much going on.

Single mom here, age 41. I've got this arrangement and it's lovely. My partner is on the same custody schedule as I am, so weekends I have my kids he has his kids, too.

OP here: thanks for chiming in—you have a good situation! Can I ask—do you only have your kids on weekends? Do you see them during the week? How is it having them just or mostly on weekends?

My ex only has my kids every other weekend, they’re with me all of the rest of the time.

I’m not the poster you were speaking to- my FWB has a 50/50 split.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is you shortly after your divorce

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/788867.page

OP here: Absolutely not. I have a moving on problem. I was never in love with my spouse. I was in love twice before and the second one broke me. I did not fall in love again and should never have married. I will not fall in love and will never want to introduce anyone to my family. Done with all of that.

You sound so bitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am wondering how difficult it would be to find a half-time boyfriend...or do people not do that? I am early 40s, planning a divorce, and have kids. I do not want to remarry. What I would like is a man to spend time with when I am not with my kids. I do not want to get married again and I do not want to mix a boyfriend with my kids. Maybe I will feel different about that in 10-15 years. I feel that maybe I would find a divorced man with kids who felt the same way (wanting to spend time with a woman but not involve kids). Is this possible or unrealistic? Yes, I am attractive and in the DC area.

Go to a local bar commando under short skirt and he will find you

[Anonymous]

Single mom here, age 41. I've got this arrangement and it's lovely. My partner is on the same custody schedule as I am, so weekends I have my kids he has his kids, too.


OP here: thanks for chiming in—you have a good situation! Can I ask—do you only have your kids on weekends? Do you see them during the week? How is it having them just or mostly on weekends?

I'm the PP. No, we do a 5-2-2 split, where we each havev2 fixed days during the week and we switch weekends. I'd prefer a week on, week off and I think my kids would, too, since they are older elementary age and complain about the frequent transitions. But my ex is resistant because the woman he's seeing has small children and does every other day custody switches and he's worried about going a whole week without seeing her. It annoys me but not enough to pay to go back to court yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, 40's divorced dad here. This is me

OP here: thanks for chiming in. I was hoping to hear this. My husband and I will both be seeking the same thing after a divorce and I wondered if other men would feel the same. I am glad to hear it. Was thinking divorced dads might have the same idea.

Maybe you and your STBX should transition to friends with benefits status. No never mind you would have to get a babysitter, that won't work.

Being divorced with two kids is not going to attract marriage minded men anyways. I think you can find a guy to have sex with you on a part time basis but don't expect it to be exclusive and always use condoms due to STDs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is you shortly after your divorce

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/788867.page

OP here: Absolutely not. I have a moving on problem. I was never in love with my spouse. I was in love twice before and the second one broke me. I did not fall in love again and should never have married. I will not fall in love and will never want to introduce anyone to my family. Done with all of that.

You sound so bitter.

You divorced because you are not in love with you DH? Now you want a loveless part time sexual relationship? Therapy time.