Hosting step-grandson for two weeks- how to deal with food fussiness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this kid is probably from some hicktown and doesn't have a cosmopolitan palate. You won't win because typical Americans like your stepgrandson just don't like non-American foods. Sad to say but it's the truth. Why else would there be 14 pages of dumb responses on this thread? If that kid was visiting the US from another country, and didn't like to eat stereotypical American crap, people would be up in arms saying that he needs to be introduced to burgers, pizza and mac and cheese.

But see, step kid is not visiting Germany so this is entirely different from your example.

[Anonymous]

Just make what you normally eat. Kid can either eat it or make themselves a sandwich. Do not heat up a frozen pizza or do any of the work getting an alternate meal out. That only teaches them to complain and they get s better option. The kid will be fine if they only eat peanut butter sandwiches for two weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this kid is probably from some hicktown and doesn't have a cosmopolitan palate. You won't win because typical Americans like your stepgrandson just don't like non-American foods. Sad to say but it's the truth. Why else would there be 14 pages of dumb responses on this thread? If that kid was visiting the US from another country, and didn't like to eat stereotypical American crap, people would be up in arms saying that he needs to be introduced to burgers, pizza and mac and cheese.

But see, step kid is not visiting Germany so this is entirely different from your example.

It's called double standards dumbass

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just make what you normally eat. Kid can either eat it or make themselves a sandwich. Do not heat up a frozen pizza or do any of the work getting an alternate meal out. That only teaches them to complain and they get s better option. The kid will be fine if they only eat peanut butter sandwiches for two weeks.

What a sucky grandparent you will be.

Poor kid.

Not only does he have a step grandma younger than his mom and dad, but she is looking forward to taking out her annoyance at her family situation on him and making his visit miserable.

Poor, poor kid.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I'm still stuck on a grandparent inviting a grandkid for 2 weeks, and intentionally making things she knows the kid won't like. Everything else is just noise compared to this. If you had an adult houseguest for 2 weeks, would you make things you know she doesn't like? Of course not. OP is a shitty grandparent, and a shitty person.

I'm sure you're Grandparent of the Year. *Slow clap*

"Make food you know your guest (and everyone else) likes, and don't make food you know your grandkid won't like" is not sufficient to be grandparent of the year. It's the bare minimum for decent behavior. No one is suggesting that you become a short order cook. What we are suggesting is that it'll be fairly easy to determine what meals he likes, and . . . make them for everyone. Make dinners that everyone likes. This is not rocket science.

Instead, your approach seems to be, "I am going to make what I want, even though I *know* he won't like it. And I'm going to use this opportunity to preemptively scold him for being a picky eater." And yes, this makes you a shitty host, and yes, a shitty person. That you either refuse to see or acknowledge this is a whole other issue.

Did you read what OP said? Those can be options but not for the whole couple of weeks.


The kid has an extremely limited list of items that he'll eat. Unless OP and her husband is willing to limit themselves to pizza (and no vegetables) every night, that's not going to work. If OP wants to eat normally and 100% accommodate kid's pickiness, then she basically has to make two separate meals. In other words, be a short order cook.

How did you invent this from what OP posted?

Because that is actually OP sock puppeting.

No, it's not. That's just I interpreted OP's statements. I read it to mean that the kid was only willing to eat a small list of stereotypical American foods (pizza, hamburger, chicken nuggets). Maybe OP can clarify exactly what she means. But I highly doubt that the kid willing to eat California or new American foods- both of which would fall under the umbrella of American cuisine.

Nein.

She said he only eats American food (not unusual for any kid of any heritage to only eat the food he is accustomed to, and that he picks veggies out when they are mixed into food. Again, not unusual for a kid to eat around veggies cooked into other foods.

She poopoo'd grandpas soloution of having a few frozen pizzas on hand just in case.

OP also said the is going to lay down the law as soon as the kid arrives, making zero attempt to be a good hostess or indulgent grandma. Who does that kind of thing to a guest?

The issue is OP. Not the kid.

You missed my point. American cuisine varies depending on the region. Traditional southern food is differs from Cali food (which includes a lot of Asian and Mexican influences). American food in the northeast has a lot of Italian and Jewish influences. Does OP mean that the kid will eat any food that falls under the umbrella of American cuisine? In that case, OP would be wrong since she has a wide range of options to choose from. Or does OP mean that he will only eat what we think of as stereotypical American foods (pizza, burger, nuggets, etc)? I assumed that it was the latter meaning. I could be wrong but I doubt it.

OP here. Yes, I meant the stereotypical American foods like pizza, burgers, meatloaf, mac and cheese, spaghetti and meatballs...which we can make but not for two whole weeks! We do consume foods like that but once in a while. I don't know why people had to start criticizing German food but just because I'm German doesn't mean that I usually make German food. I like to cook Korean, Vietnamese, French, Italian (real Italian...like with anchovies and a ton of garlic) and Chinese foods. I do have spätzle in my pantry and I can make one or two German dishes but that's it. I'm very sad with some of the remarks here making me out to be a monster and I am not wanting to fight with the boy. Just to teach him some manners. Is that so wrong?

Yes! Not your job to "fix him" in two weeks. Offer some choices, be a gracious host.

What you SHOULD be worried about is your husband and his grandson having a memorable time together. Why the heck is this about you?

I think grandpa needs a new wife.

You need a new brain. What is wrong with teaching children manners? No wonder so many children grow up thinking that they can behave however they want. OP, don't be afraid to tell the child off if he's rude. Just make sure your husband supports you as well. Show a united front.

Step grandma is the rude one, not the kid.

The kid hasn't even arrived yet and 40 year old step grandma is already planning what fight she will great him with.

Work on your Grammar please

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just make what you normally eat. Kid can either eat it or make themselves a sandwich. Do not heat up a frozen pizza or do any of the work getting an alternate meal out. That only teaches them to complain and they get s better option. The kid will be fine if they only eat peanut butter sandwiches for two weeks.

What a sucky grandparent you will be.

Poor kid.

Not only does he have a step grandma younger than his mom and dad, but she is looking forward to taking out her annoyance at her family situation on him and making his visit miserable.

Poor, poor kid.

What evidence do you have? You're making shit up. She just wants a kid who is polite to host. Geez, you people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just make what you normally eat. Kid can either eat it or make themselves a sandwich. Do not heat up a frozen pizza or do any of the work getting an alternate meal out. That only teaches them to complain and they get s better option. The kid will be fine if they only eat peanut butter sandwiches for two weeks.

What a sucky grandparent you will be.

Poor kid.

Not only does he have a step grandma younger than his mom and dad, but she is looking forward to taking out her annoyance at her family situation on him and making his visit miserable.

Poor, poor kid.

What evidence do you have? You're making shit up. She just wants a kid who is polite to host. Geez, you people!

No she does not.

From her original post, she has already decided to greet him with a fight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just make what you normally eat. Kid can either eat it or make themselves a sandwich. Do not heat up a frozen pizza or do any of the work getting an alternate meal out. That only teaches them to complain and they get s better option. The kid will be fine if they only eat peanut butter sandwiches for two weeks.

What a sucky grandparent you will be.

Poor kid.

Not only does he have a step grandma younger than his mom and dad, but she is looking forward to taking out her annoyance at her family situation on him and making his visit miserable.

Poor, poor kid.

What evidence do you have? You're making shit up. She just wants a kid who is polite to host. Geez, you people!

No she does not.

From her original post, she has already decided to greet him with a fight.

By tellin him to not complain? Call CPS why don't you?

[Anonymous]

I think it says more about Americans that they would berate a non-American host for not wanting to give in to some spoiled brat. Anyone agree? The only voices of dissent seem to come from people who grew up elsewhere and understand that cooking food that a child doesn't like isn't child abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it says more about Americans that they would berate a non-American host for not wanting to give in to some spoiled brat. Anyone agree? The only voices of dissent seem to come from people who grew up elsewhere and understand that cooking food that a child doesn't like isn't child abuse.

Not true. If you read the whole thread, you would find my post, I am from Europe and completely disagree with OP. I think she is picking a fight that isn't hers, that serves no purpose and that she should take the kid shopping and get him food he wants. It is for 2 weeks. She is making a mountain out of a mole hill and who knows, this is clearly some weird power play. If she was an actual grandma or a mom even, she would learn that you don't lose sleep over nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it says more about Americans that they would berate a non-American host for not wanting to give in to some spoiled brat. Anyone agree? The only voices of dissent seem to come from people who grew up elsewhere and understand that cooking food that a child doesn't like isn't child abuse.

Not true. If you read the whole thread, you would find my post, I am from Europe and completely disagree with OP. I think she is picking a fight that isn't hers, that serves no purpose and that she should take the kid shopping and get him food he wants. It is for 2 weeks. She is making a mountain out of a mole hill and who knows, this is clearly some weird power play. If she was an actual grandma or a mom even, she would learn that you don't lose sleep over nothing.

Ok, even if you disagree with her...so what? Why are you so worked up? She never said she was losing sleep or wants to punish the child. You are the one who is exaggerating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it says more about Americans that they would berate a non-American host for not wanting to give in to some spoiled brat. Anyone agree? The only voices of dissent seem to come from people who grew up elsewhere and understand that cooking food that a child doesn't like isn't child abuse.

Not true. If you read the whole thread, you would find my post, I am from Europe and completely disagree with OP. I think she is picking a fight that isn't hers, that serves no purpose and that she should take the kid shopping and get him food he wants. It is for 2 weeks. She is making a mountain out of a mole hill and who knows, this is clearly some weird power play. If she was an actual grandma or a mom even, she would learn that you don't lose sleep over nothing.

Ok, even if you disagree with her...so what? Why are you so worked up? She never said she was losing sleep or wants to punish the child. You are the one who is exaggerating.

I mean if you are not OP, which I think you are, how am I worked up compared to you? My opinion mirrors the opinion of most pps, you are among few who decided to give opinion of other pps rather than just her opinion of what OP should do, and to make it about the whole American nation being defensive and raising spoiled brats. And I am the one who is worked up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it says more about Americans that they would berate a non-American host for not wanting to give in to some spoiled brat. Anyone agree? The only voices of dissent seem to come from people who grew up elsewhere and understand that cooking food that a child doesn't like isn't child abuse.

Not true. If you read the whole thread, you would find my post, I am from Europe and completely disagree with OP. I think she is picking a fight that isn't hers, that serves no purpose and that she should take the kid shopping and get him food he wants. It is for 2 weeks. She is making a mountain out of a mole hill and who knows, this is clearly some weird power play. If she was an actual grandma or a mom even, she would learn that you don't lose sleep over nothing.

Ok, even if you disagree with her...so what? Why are you so worked up? She never said she was losing sleep or wants to punish the child. You are the one who is exaggerating.

I mean if you are not OP, which I think you are, how am I worked up compared to you? My opinion mirrors the opinion of most pps, you are among few who decided to give opinion of other pps rather than just her opinion of what OP should do, and to make it about the whole American nation being defensive and raising spoiled brats. And I am the one who is worked up?

I'm speaking the truth: https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2018/06/09/618025893/want-your-child-to-try-eat-almost-everything-skip-the-kids-menu

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it says more about Americans that they would berate a non-American host for not wanting to give in to some spoiled brat. Anyone agree? The only voices of dissent seem to come from people who grew up elsewhere and understand that cooking food that a child doesn't like isn't child abuse.

Not true. If you read the whole thread, you would find my post, I am from Europe and completely disagree with OP. I think she is picking a fight that isn't hers, that serves no purpose and that she should take the kid shopping and get him food he wants. It is for 2 weeks. She is making a mountain out of a mole hill and who knows, this is clearly some weird power play. If she was an actual grandma or a mom even, she would learn that you don't lose sleep over nothing.

Ok, even if you disagree with her...so what? Why are you so worked up? She never said she was losing sleep or wants to punish the child. You are the one who is exaggerating.

I mean if you are not OP, which I think you are, how am I worked up compared to you? My opinion mirrors the opinion of most pps, you are among few who decided to give opinion of other pps rather than just her opinion of what OP should do, and to make it about the whole American nation being defensive and raising spoiled brats. And I am the one who is worked up?

I'm speaking the truth: https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2018/06/09/618025893/want-your-child-to-try-eat-almost-everything-skip-the-kids-menu

ETA: https://nationalpost.com/the-kids-menu

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. Yes, I meant the stereotypical American foods like pizza, burgers, meatloaf, mac and cheese, spaghetti and meatballs...which we can make but not for two whole weeks! We do consume foods like that but once in a while. I don't know why people had to start criticizing German food but just because I'm German doesn't mean that I usually make German food. I like to cook Korean, Vietnamese, French, Italian (real Italian...like with anchovies and a ton of garlic) and Chinese foods. I do have spätzle in my pantry and I can make one or two German dishes but that's it. I'm very sad with some of the remarks here making me out to be a monster and I am not wanting to fight with the boy. Just to teach him some manners. Is that so wrong?

No, OP, you are not a monster!

But it is not your place, as the hostess of your step grandson, to cure his (in your opinion) picky eating.

There is some leeway for you, because you and your husband will be acting "in loco parentis" for the two week period, to do some mild "upbringing" Of the boy. He is a minor child and in your care. You have complete right over anything that affects his safety, for example, and since you cannot just tell him to leave the house if he misbehaves, you have the right to expect him to follow the rules of the house in terms of both safety and manners.

So you absolutely may tell him that in your house, people do not say "yuck" to food. It would be better if you had a matter of fact chat with him. Personally if he were my grandchild, I'd take him when he arrives out to the grocery store and say "now, Stephen, I want you to get some foods thet you know you will like, and I promise not to comment on any of them, because I"m going to ask the same thing of you. I think it is rude to say "yuck" about someone's food and I ask that you don't do that while you are visiting."

What you may NOT as a good hostess do, is use this two week visit to try to "cure" him of his picky eating. You may not say "this is dinner, like it or no food for you" or any of the other things people do to cure picky eating. If he were your own child, you could do that, but you may not do that as the hostess. That is not kind, that is not good manners, and BTW it WILL NOT be effective.

Again, you do NOT need to roll over and be a doormat. You can insist he speak politely. You may not withhold food he likes, as your guest. You DO NOT have to make special meals for him all the time. YOu can provide a few options he likes, and let him fix them for himself.

As you say you do eat "american" food like hamburger etc. go ahead and make some of those meals. Make a little extra. Some other nights, make the foods you like, and if you are feeling kind, try to make them so he might learn to like them. Make a Thai dish with something simple like chicken satay and peanut sauce, or skewered pork on the grill, seasoned a bit differently. Instead of trying to force him into submission, think about what types of foods he might enjoy that he hasn't already! You already know he doesn't like vegetables mixed into things. Show him some websites and see if there are any foods that sound interesting to him! You actually might influence his eating habits for the better with gentle persuasion.

But failing that, by all means let him eat a pizza from the freezer. This is a no brainer.