Hosting step-grandson for two weeks- how to deal with food fussiness

[Anonymous]

OP, my mom sounds like your grandson. There is something that bothers me about the idea of someone making themselves a completely different dinner than what I'm serving, but as the cook I also know that I need to try and accommodate my guest. My mom dislikes most vegetables, and is like a toddler in terms of not liking foods mixed together. As a result, I tend to make much more traditional meat-starch-veg meals rather than things that might be a blend, so that she can pick and choose.

Here are some examples. Usually when I make tacos I saute the peppers and onions in with the beef or chicken. When she's here, I do them in a separate skillet and put them in a separate bowl on the table. Same meal, just arranged slightly differently. I often make a stir fry mixing up the meat and vegetables and flavoring with soy, garlic, and ginger. That's way too intense for her. When she is here, I'll roast or grill the chicken and serve with rice, vegetables and a basic lettuce or spinach side salad (no strange toppings like goat cheese or dried fruit). Again, same ingredients that I would normally cook with but arranged in a slightly different way. We eat lots of soup. When she comes to visit it's a simple chicken noodle rather than a minestrone dense with vegetables.

Maybe try and use the occasional meal prep as a chance to bond. Figure out the meal he'll eat, maybe pasta and meatballs. Put on his type of music and cook and set the table together. Talk to him about summer plans or the upcoming school year. Get him to participate with you and grandpa in the process. Have available extra garlic bread and a big bowl of fruit. It's not unreasonable to have a ground rule that rude outbursts like Yuck are unacceptable, but as a host and especially as a grandparent, try to meet him partway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still stuck on a grandparent inviting a grandkid for 2 weeks, and intentionally making things she knows the kid won't like. Everything else is just noise compared to this. If you had an adult houseguest for 2 weeks, would you make things you know she doesn't like? Of course not. OP is a shitty grandparent, and a shitty person.

I'm sure you're Grandparent of the Year. *Slow clap*

"Make food you know your guest (and everyone else) likes, and don't make food you know your grandkid won't like" is not sufficient to be grandparent of the year. It's the bare minimum for decent behavior. No one is suggesting that you become a short order cook. What we are suggesting is that it'll be fairly easy to determine what meals he likes, and . . . make them for everyone. Make dinners that everyone likes. This is not rocket science.

Instead, your approach seems to be, "I am going to make what I want, even though I *know* he won't like it. And I'm going to use this opportunity to preemptively scold him for being a picky eater." And yes, this makes you a shitty host, and yes, a shitty person. That you either refuse to see or acknowledge this is a whole other issue.

The kid has an extremely limited list of items that he'll eat. Unless OP and her husband is willing to limit themselves to pizza (and no vegetables) every night, that's not going to work. If OP wants to eat normally and 100% accommodate kid's pickiness, then she basically has to make two separate meals. In other words, be a short order cook.

How did you invent this from what OP posted?

Because that is actually OP sock puppeting.

No, it's not. That's just I interpreted OP's statements. I read it to mean that the kid was only willing to eat a small list of stereotypical American foods (pizza, hamburger, chicken nuggets). Maybe OP can clarify exactly what she means. But I highly doubt that the kid willing to eat California or new American foods- both of which would fall under the umbrella of American cuisine.

Nein.

She said he only eats American food (not unusual for any kid of any heritage to only eat the food he is accustomed to, and that he picks veggies out when they are mixed into food. Again, not unusual for a kid to eat around veggies cooked into other foods.

She poopoo'd grandpas soloution of having a few frozen pizzas on hand just in case.

OP also said the is going to lay down the law as soon as the kid arrives, making zero attempt to be a good hostess or indulgent grandma. Who does that kind of thing to a guest?

The issue is OP. Not the kid.

[Anonymous]

Of course the issue is OP. Who is chaffing to pick a fight with a 12 year old? Lay down the law right away? And what does OP really know about how 12 year olds today eat in Germany? I bet you they are just as picky as kids here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since OP seems to have a hard time accepting that she is wrong in her stubborn way, or, for that matter, that picking a fight with a 12 year old is beyond childish of her, I'll try to explain to her the outcomes of two choices she has.
Stick to her making the boy see the light and forcing him to eat what she cooks...
"Grandpa's wife is nasty, rude, and made me red cabbage that was stinky and gross, and when I said no, she called me a spoiled brat and forbid grandpa to take me out for ice cream. I hate her! (add a lot of preteen imagined drama and embellished retelling of how mean she was to him.)
Or,
"I wish you were more like grandpa's wife. She made me pizza every day, and made the best deserts with ice cream. She took me grocery shopping my first day and let me choose all the food I wanted to eat! Why can't you be more like her?!"

Aww, this just reminded me of the shopping trips I took with my grandma when I stayed with her in the summer. Usually my cousin was staying with her grandma at the same time and the four of us would go up and down every aisle of the small town grocery store.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still stuck on a grandparent inviting a grandkid for 2 weeks, and intentionally making things she knows the kid won't like. Everything else is just noise compared to this. If you had an adult houseguest for 2 weeks, would you make things you know she doesn't like? Of course not. OP is a shitty grandparent, and a shitty person.

I'm sure you're Grandparent of the Year. *Slow clap*

"Make food you know your guest (and everyone else) likes, and don't make food you know your grandkid won't like" is not sufficient to be grandparent of the year. It's the bare minimum for decent behavior. No one is suggesting that you become a short order cook. What we are suggesting is that it'll be fairly easy to determine what meals he likes, and . . . make them for everyone. Make dinners that everyone likes. This is not rocket science.

Instead, your approach seems to be, "I am going to make what I want, even though I *know* he won't like it. And I'm going to use this opportunity to preemptively scold him for being a picky eater." And yes, this makes you a shitty host, and yes, a shitty person. That you either refuse to see or acknowledge this is a whole other issue.

The kid has an extremely limited list of items that he'll eat. Unless OP and her husband is willing to limit themselves to pizza (and no vegetables) every night, that's not going to work. If OP wants to eat normally and 100% accommodate kid's pickiness, then she basically has to make two separate meals. In other words, be a short order cook.

How did you invent this from what OP posted?

Because that is actually OP sock puppeting.

No, it's not. That's just I interpreted OP's statements. I read it to mean that the kid was only willing to eat a small list of stereotypical American foods (pizza, hamburger, chicken nuggets). Maybe OP can clarify exactly what she means. But I highly doubt that the kid willing to eat California or new American foods- both of which would fall under the umbrella of American cuisine.

Nein.

She said he only eats American food (not unusual for any kid of any heritage to only eat the food he is accustomed to, and that he picks veggies out when they are mixed into food. Again, not unusual for a kid to eat around veggies cooked into other foods.

She poopoo'd grandpas soloution of having a few frozen pizzas on hand just in case.

OP also said the is going to lay down the law as soon as the kid arrives, making zero attempt to be a good hostess or indulgent grandma. Who does that kind of thing to a guest?

The issue is OP. Not the kid.

You missed my point. American cuisine varies depending on the region. Traditional southern food is differs from Cali food (which includes a lot of Asian and Mexican influences). American food in the northeast has a lot of Italian and Jewish influences. Does OP mean that the kid will eat any food that falls under the umbrella of American cuisine? In that case, OP would be wrong since she has a wide range of options to choose from. Or does OP mean that he will only eat what we think of as stereotypical American foods (pizza, burger, nuggets, etc)? I assumed that it was the latter meaning. I could be wrong but I doubt it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still stuck on a grandparent inviting a grandkid for 2 weeks, and intentionally making things she knows the kid won't like. Everything else is just noise compared to this. If you had an adult houseguest for 2 weeks, would you make things you know she doesn't like? Of course not. OP is a shitty grandparent, and a shitty person.

I'm sure you're Grandparent of the Year. *Slow clap*

"Make food you know your guest (and everyone else) likes, and don't make food you know your grandkid won't like" is not sufficient to be grandparent of the year. It's the bare minimum for decent behavior. No one is suggesting that you become a short order cook. What we are suggesting is that it'll be fairly easy to determine what meals he likes, and . . . make them for everyone. Make dinners that everyone likes. This is not rocket science.

Instead, your approach seems to be, "I am going to make what I want, even though I *know* he won't like it. And I'm going to use this opportunity to preemptively scold him for being a picky eater." And yes, this makes you a shitty host, and yes, a shitty person. That you either refuse to see or acknowledge this is a whole other issue.

The kid has an extremely limited list of items that he'll eat. Unless OP and her husband is willing to limit themselves to pizza (and no vegetables) every night, that's not going to work. If OP wants to eat normally and 100% accommodate kid's pickiness, then she basically has to make two separate meals. In other words, be a short order cook.

How did you invent this from what OP posted?

Because that is actually OP sock puppeting.

No, it's not. That's just I interpreted OP's statements. I read it to mean that the kid was only willing to eat a small list of stereotypical American foods (pizza, hamburger, chicken nuggets). Maybe OP can clarify exactly what she means. But I highly doubt that the kid willing to eat California or new American foods- both of which would fall under the umbrella of American cuisine.

Nein.

She said he only eats American food (not unusual for any kid of any heritage to only eat the food he is accustomed to, and that he picks veggies out when they are mixed into food. Again, not unusual for a kid to eat around veggies cooked into other foods.

She poopoo'd grandpas soloution of having a few frozen pizzas on hand just in case.

OP also said the is going to lay down the law as soon as the kid arrives, making zero attempt to be a good hostess or indulgent grandma. Who does that kind of thing to a guest?

The issue is OP. Not the kid.

You missed my point. American cuisine varies depending on the region. Traditional southern food is differs from Cali food (which includes a lot of Asian and Mexican influences). American food in the northeast has a lot of Italian and Jewish influences. Does OP mean that the kid will eat any food that falls under the umbrella of American cuisine? In that case, OP would be wrong since she has a wide range of options to choose from. Or does OP mean that he will only eat what we think of as stereotypical American foods (pizza, burger, nuggets, etc)? I assumed that it was the latter meaning. I could be wrong but I doubt it.

OP here. Yes, I meant the stereotypical American foods like pizza, burgers, meatloaf, mac and cheese, spaghetti and meatballs...which we can make but not for two whole weeks! We do consume foods like that but once in a while. I don't know why people had to start criticizing German food but just because I'm German doesn't mean that I usually make German food. I like to cook Korean, Vietnamese, French, Italian (real Italian...like with anchovies and a ton of garlic) and Chinese foods. I do have spätzle in my pantry and I can make one or two German dishes but that's it. I'm very sad with some of the remarks here making me out to be a monster and I am not wanting to fight with the boy. Just to teach him some manners. Is that so wrong?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm very sad with some of the remarks here making me out to be a monster and I am not wanting to fight with the boy. Just to teach him some manners. Is that so wrong?

NP. Yes, you are completely out of line. Your role here is not to teach him anything. Tread lightly OP. You are going to put strain on your husband and whatever relationship you have with his children (which I suspect is rocky at best if this is your approach).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: OP here. Yes, I meant the stereotypical American foods like pizza, burgers, meatloaf, mac and cheese, spaghetti and meatballs...which we can make but not for two whole weeks! We do consume foods like that but once in a while. I don't know why people had to start criticizing German food but just because I'm German doesn't mean that I usually make German food. I like to cook Korean, Vietnamese, French, Italian (real Italian...like with anchovies and a ton of garlic) and Chinese foods. I do have spätzle in my pantry and I can make one or two German dishes but that's it. I'm very sad with some of the remarks here making me out to be a monster and I am not wanting to fight with the boy. Just to teach him some manners. Is that so wrong?

I'm 13:42. I think it's totally appropriate if at mealtime he is rude, to let him know that blech, yuck, or gross are not acceptable in your home. Don't drop that on him as soon as he arrives, though. Otherwise, the teaching of manners in terms of broadening his palate just isn't your place. You've had some good suggestions, and it's rare that you get almost 14 pages of consensus on DCUM, so please look in your heart and decide if this is a battle you want to fight with a 12yr old. There is no winning here at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: OP here. Yes, I meant the stereotypical American foods like pizza, burgers, meatloaf, mac and cheese, spaghetti and meatballs...which we can make but not for two whole weeks! We do consume foods like that but once in a while. I don't know why people had to start criticizing German food but just because I'm German doesn't mean that I usually make German food. I like to cook Korean, Vietnamese, French, Italian (real Italian...like with anchovies and a ton of garlic) and Chinese foods. I do have spätzle in my pantry and I can make one or two German dishes but that's it. I'm very sad with some of the remarks here making me out to be a monster and I am not wanting to fight with the boy. Just to teach him some manners. Is that so wrong?

I'm 13:42. I think it's totally appropriate if at mealtime he is rude, to let him know that blech, yuck, or gross are not acceptable in your home. Don't drop that on him as soon as he arrives, though. Otherwise, the teaching of manners in terms of broadening his palate just isn't your place. You've had some good suggestions, and it's rare that you get almost 14 pages of consensus on DCUM, so please look in your heart and decide if this is a battle you want to fight with a 12yr old. There is no winning here at all.

I believe that people taste food differently. Our genes tell us if we are more sensitive to bitterness. You can't fault him for that. So many non-picky people do not get this because they don't have strong aversions and think it's just easy to eat anything. Like myself, many kids eventually will change as they grow up. Forcing him to eat something will not help him expand his food choices in the future because he will likely have strong negative associations and avoid the food.

Find out an easy alternative that won't inconvenience you - eggs, peanut butter sandwich, pizza - whatever he can make himself when he doesn't care for what you are serving, and continue to eat as normal.

By all means encourage table manners and polite declinations. If you make this about forcing him to eat only what you serve, you may win in the moment but lose in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, my mom sounds like your grandson. There is something that bothers me about the idea of someone making themselves a completely different dinner than what I'm serving, but as the cook I also know that I need to try and accommodate my guest. My mom dislikes most vegetables, and is like a toddler in terms of not liking foods mixed together. As a result, I tend to make much more traditional meat-starch-veg meals rather than things that might be a blend, so that she can pick and choose.

Here are some examples. Usually when I make tacos I saute the peppers and onions in with the beef or chicken. When she's here, I do them in a separate skillet and put them in a separate bowl on the table. Same meal, just arranged slightly differently. I often make a stir fry mixing up the meat and vegetables and flavoring with soy, garlic, and ginger. That's way too intense for her. When she is here, I'll roast or grill the chicken and serve with rice, vegetables and a basic lettuce or spinach side salad (no strange toppings like goat cheese or dried fruit). Again, same ingredients that I would normally cook with but arranged in a slightly different way. We eat lots of soup. When she comes to visit it's a simple chicken noodle rather than a minestrone dense with vegetables.

Maybe try and use the occasional meal prep as a chance to bond. Figure out the meal he'll eat, maybe pasta and meatballs. Put on his type of music and cook and set the table together. Talk to him about summer plans or the upcoming school year. Get him to participate with you and grandpa in the process. Have available extra garlic bread and a big bowl of fruit. It's not unreasonable to have a ground rule that rude outbursts like Yuck are unacceptable, but as a host and especially as a grandparent, try to meet him partway.

You are a wonderful hostess\daughter to make accommodations like that for your mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still stuck on a grandparent inviting a grandkid for 2 weeks, and intentionally making things she knows the kid won't like. Everything else is just noise compared to this. If you had an adult houseguest for 2 weeks, would you make things you know she doesn't like? Of course not. OP is a shitty grandparent, and a shitty person.

I'm sure you're Grandparent of the Year. *Slow clap*

"Make food you know your guest (and everyone else) likes, and don't make food you know your grandkid won't like" is not sufficient to be grandparent of the year. It's the bare minimum for decent behavior. No one is suggesting that you become a short order cook. What we are suggesting is that it'll be fairly easy to determine what meals he likes, and . . . make them for everyone. Make dinners that everyone likes. This is not rocket science.

Instead, your approach seems to be, "I am going to make what I want, even though I *know* he won't like it. And I'm going to use this opportunity to preemptively scold him for being a picky eater." And yes, this makes you a shitty host, and yes, a shitty person. That you either refuse to see or acknowledge this is a whole other issue.

The kid has an extremely limited list of items that he'll eat. Unless OP and her husband is willing to limit themselves to pizza (and no vegetables) every night, that's not going to work. If OP wants to eat normally and 100% accommodate kid's pickiness, then she basically has to make two separate meals. In other words, be a short order cook.

How did you invent this from what OP posted?

Because that is actually OP sock puppeting.

No, it's not. That's just I interpreted OP's statements. I read it to mean that the kid was only willing to eat a small list of stereotypical American foods (pizza, hamburger, chicken nuggets). Maybe OP can clarify exactly what she means. But I highly doubt that the kid willing to eat California or new American foods- both of which would fall under the umbrella of American cuisine.

Nein.

She said he only eats American food (not unusual for any kid of any heritage to only eat the food he is accustomed to, and that he picks veggies out when they are mixed into food. Again, not unusual for a kid to eat around veggies cooked into other foods.

She poopoo'd grandpas soloution of having a few frozen pizzas on hand just in case.

OP also said the is going to lay down the law as soon as the kid arrives, making zero attempt to be a good hostess or indulgent grandma. Who does that kind of thing to a guest?

The issue is OP. Not the kid.

You missed my point. American cuisine varies depending on the region. Traditional southern food is differs from Cali food (which includes a lot of Asian and Mexican influences). American food in the northeast has a lot of Italian and Jewish influences. Does OP mean that the kid will eat any food that falls under the umbrella of American cuisine? In that case, OP would be wrong since she has a wide range of options to choose from. Or does OP mean that he will only eat what we think of as stereotypical American foods (pizza, burger, nuggets, etc)? I assumed that it was the latter meaning. I could be wrong but I doubt it.

OP here. Yes, I meant the stereotypical American foods like pizza, burgers, meatloaf, mac and cheese, spaghetti and meatballs...which we can make but not for two whole weeks! We do consume foods like that but once in a while. I don't know why people had to start criticizing German food but just because I'm German doesn't mean that I usually make German food. I like to cook Korean, Vietnamese, French, Italian (real Italian...like with anchovies and a ton of garlic) and Chinese foods. I do have spätzle in my pantry and I can make one or two German dishes but that's it. I'm very sad with some of the remarks here making me out to be a monster and I am not wanting to fight with the boy. Just to teach him some manners. Is that so wrong?

Yes! Not your job to "fix him" in two weeks. Offer some choices, be a gracious host.

What you SHOULD be worried about is your husband and his grandson having a memorable time together. Why the heck is this about you?

I think grandpa needs a new wife.

[Anonymous]

I think this kid is probably from some hicktown and doesn't have a cosmopolitan palate. You won't win because typical Americans like your stepgrandson just don't like non-American foods. Sad to say but it's the truth. Why else would there be 14 pages of dumb responses on this thread? If that kid was visiting the US from another country, and didn't like to eat stereotypical American crap, people would be up in arms saying that he needs to be introduced to burgers, pizza and mac and cheese.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still stuck on a grandparent inviting a grandkid for 2 weeks, and intentionally making things she knows the kid won't like. Everything else is just noise compared to this. If you had an adult houseguest for 2 weeks, would you make things you know she doesn't like? Of course not. OP is a shitty grandparent, and a shitty person.

I'm sure you're Grandparent of the Year. *Slow clap*

"Make food you know your guest (and everyone else) likes, and don't make food you know your grandkid won't like" is not sufficient to be grandparent of the year. It's the bare minimum for decent behavior. No one is suggesting that you become a short order cook. What we are suggesting is that it'll be fairly easy to determine what meals he likes, and . . . make them for everyone. Make dinners that everyone likes. This is not rocket science.

Instead, your approach seems to be, "I am going to make what I want, even though I *know* he won't like it. And I'm going to use this opportunity to preemptively scold him for being a picky eater." And yes, this makes you a shitty host, and yes, a shitty person. That you either refuse to see or acknowledge this is a whole other issue.

Did you read what OP said? Those can be options but not for the whole couple of weeks.


The kid has an extremely limited list of items that he'll eat. Unless OP and her husband is willing to limit themselves to pizza (and no vegetables) every night, that's not going to work. If OP wants to eat normally and 100% accommodate kid's pickiness, then she basically has to make two separate meals. In other words, be a short order cook.

How did you invent this from what OP posted?

Because that is actually OP sock puppeting.

No, it's not. That's just I interpreted OP's statements. I read it to mean that the kid was only willing to eat a small list of stereotypical American foods (pizza, hamburger, chicken nuggets). Maybe OP can clarify exactly what she means. But I highly doubt that the kid willing to eat California or new American foods- both of which would fall under the umbrella of American cuisine.

Nein.

She said he only eats American food (not unusual for any kid of any heritage to only eat the food he is accustomed to, and that he picks veggies out when they are mixed into food. Again, not unusual for a kid to eat around veggies cooked into other foods.

She poopoo'd grandpas soloution of having a few frozen pizzas on hand just in case.

OP also said the is going to lay down the law as soon as the kid arrives, making zero attempt to be a good hostess or indulgent grandma. Who does that kind of thing to a guest?

The issue is OP. Not the kid.

You missed my point. American cuisine varies depending on the region. Traditional southern food is differs from Cali food (which includes a lot of Asian and Mexican influences). American food in the northeast has a lot of Italian and Jewish influences. Does OP mean that the kid will eat any food that falls under the umbrella of American cuisine? In that case, OP would be wrong since she has a wide range of options to choose from. Or does OP mean that he will only eat what we think of as stereotypical American foods (pizza, burger, nuggets, etc)? I assumed that it was the latter meaning. I could be wrong but I doubt it.

OP here. Yes, I meant the stereotypical American foods like pizza, burgers, meatloaf, mac and cheese, spaghetti and meatballs...which we can make but not for two whole weeks! We do consume foods like that but once in a while. I don't know why people had to start criticizing German food but just because I'm German doesn't mean that I usually make German food. I like to cook Korean, Vietnamese, French, Italian (real Italian...like with anchovies and a ton of garlic) and Chinese foods. I do have spätzle in my pantry and I can make one or two German dishes but that's it. I'm very sad with some of the remarks here making me out to be a monster and I am not wanting to fight with the boy. Just to teach him some manners. Is that so wrong?

Yes! Not your job to "fix him" in two weeks. Offer some choices, be a gracious host.

What you SHOULD be worried about is your husband and his grandson having a memorable time together. Why the heck is this about you?

I think grandpa needs a new wife.

You need a new brain. What is wrong with teaching children manners? No wonder so many children grow up thinking that they can behave however they want. OP, don't be afraid to tell the child off if he's rude. Just make sure your husband supports you as well. Show a united front.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still stuck on a grandparent inviting a grandkid for 2 weeks, and intentionally making things she knows the kid won't like. Everything else is just noise compared to this. If you had an adult houseguest for 2 weeks, would you make things you know she doesn't like? Of course not. OP is a shitty grandparent, and a shitty person.

I'm sure you're Grandparent of the Year. *Slow clap*

"Make food you know your guest (and everyone else) likes, and don't make food you know your grandkid won't like" is not sufficient to be grandparent of the year. It's the bare minimum for decent behavior. No one is suggesting that you become a short order cook. What we are suggesting is that it'll be fairly easy to determine what meals he likes, and . . . make them for everyone. Make dinners that everyone likes. This is not rocket science.

Instead, your approach seems to be, "I am going to make what I want, even though I *know* he won't like it. And I'm going to use this opportunity to preemptively scold him for being a picky eater." And yes, this makes you a shitty host, and yes, a shitty person. That you either refuse to see or acknowledge this is a whole other issue.

The kid has an extremely limited list of items that he'll eat. Unless OP and her husband is willing to limit themselves to pizza (and no vegetables) every night, that's not going to work. If OP wants to eat normally and 100% accommodate kid's pickiness, then she basically has to make two separate meals. In other words, be a short order cook.

How did you invent this from what OP posted?

Because that is actually OP sock puppeting.

No, it's not. That's just I interpreted OP's statements. I read it to mean that the kid was only willing to eat a small list of stereotypical American foods (pizza, hamburger, chicken nuggets). Maybe OP can clarify exactly what she means. But I highly doubt that the kid willing to eat California or new American foods- both of which would fall under the umbrella of American cuisine.

Nein.

She said he only eats American food (not unusual for any kid of any heritage to only eat the food he is accustomed to, and that he picks veggies out when they are mixed into food. Again, not unusual for a kid to eat around veggies cooked into other foods.

She poopoo'd grandpas soloution of having a few frozen pizzas on hand just in case.

OP also said the is going to lay down the law as soon as the kid arrives, making zero attempt to be a good hostess or indulgent grandma. Who does that kind of thing to a guest?

The issue is OP. Not the kid.

You missed my point. American cuisine varies depending on the region. Traditional southern food is differs from Cali food (which includes a lot of Asian and Mexican influences). American food in the northeast has a lot of Italian and Jewish influences. Does OP mean that the kid will eat any food that falls under the umbrella of American cuisine? In that case, OP would be wrong since she has a wide range of options to choose from. Or does OP mean that he will only eat what we think of as stereotypical American foods (pizza, burger, nuggets, etc)? I assumed that it was the latter meaning. I could be wrong but I doubt it.

So what is the point in your distinction?

Typical American food is usually considered burgers, hot dogs, pizza, fried chicken, pastas/mac n cheese, etc.

An American kid preferring typical American food is no different than a french kid preferring typical French food, or an Ethiopian kid preferring typical Ethiopian food or an indian kid preferring typical Indian food.

My Pakistani neighbor kid would pick around or refuse to eat an american Thanksgiving feast. Turkey is not a part of his family's typical Pakistani diet so he refuses to eat it, or would take a bite then make a face, and tell my kid later that turkey is gross.

This is not so unusual for a kid who is used to eating a certain way based on regional food habits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still stuck on a grandparent inviting a grandkid for 2 weeks, and intentionally making things she knows the kid won't like. Everything else is just noise compared to this. If you had an adult houseguest for 2 weeks, would you make things you know she doesn't like? Of course not. OP is a shitty grandparent, and a shitty person.

I'm sure you're Grandparent of the Year. *Slow clap*

"Make food you know your guest (and everyone else) likes, and don't make food you know your grandkid won't like" is not sufficient to be grandparent of the year. It's the bare minimum for decent behavior. No one is suggesting that you become a short order cook. What we are suggesting is that it'll be fairly easy to determine what meals he likes, and . . . make them for everyone. Make dinners that everyone likes. This is not rocket science.

Instead, your approach seems to be, "I am going to make what I want, even though I *know* he won't like it. And I'm going to use this opportunity to preemptively scold him for being a picky eater." And yes, this makes you a shitty host, and yes, a shitty person. That you either refuse to see or acknowledge this is a whole other issue.

Did you read what OP said? Those can be options but not for the whole couple of weeks.


The kid has an extremely limited list of items that he'll eat. Unless OP and her husband is willing to limit themselves to pizza (and no vegetables) every night, that's not going to work. If OP wants to eat normally and 100% accommodate kid's pickiness, then she basically has to make two separate meals. In other words, be a short order cook.

How did you invent this from what OP posted?

Because that is actually OP sock puppeting.

No, it's not. That's just I interpreted OP's statements. I read it to mean that the kid was only willing to eat a small list of stereotypical American foods (pizza, hamburger, chicken nuggets). Maybe OP can clarify exactly what she means. But I highly doubt that the kid willing to eat California or new American foods- both of which would fall under the umbrella of American cuisine.

Nein.

She said he only eats American food (not unusual for any kid of any heritage to only eat the food he is accustomed to, and that he picks veggies out when they are mixed into food. Again, not unusual for a kid to eat around veggies cooked into other foods.

She poopoo'd grandpas soloution of having a few frozen pizzas on hand just in case.

OP also said the is going to lay down the law as soon as the kid arrives, making zero attempt to be a good hostess or indulgent grandma. Who does that kind of thing to a guest?

The issue is OP. Not the kid.

You missed my point. American cuisine varies depending on the region. Traditional southern food is differs from Cali food (which includes a lot of Asian and Mexican influences). American food in the northeast has a lot of Italian and Jewish influences. Does OP mean that the kid will eat any food that falls under the umbrella of American cuisine? In that case, OP would be wrong since she has a wide range of options to choose from. Or does OP mean that he will only eat what we think of as stereotypical American foods (pizza, burger, nuggets, etc)? I assumed that it was the latter meaning. I could be wrong but I doubt it.

OP here. Yes, I meant the stereotypical American foods like pizza, burgers, meatloaf, mac and cheese, spaghetti and meatballs...which we can make but not for two whole weeks! We do consume foods like that but once in a while. I don't know why people had to start criticizing German food but just because I'm German doesn't mean that I usually make German food. I like to cook Korean, Vietnamese, French, Italian (real Italian...like with anchovies and a ton of garlic) and Chinese foods. I do have spätzle in my pantry and I can make one or two German dishes but that's it. I'm very sad with some of the remarks here making me out to be a monster and I am not wanting to fight with the boy. Just to teach him some manners. Is that so wrong?

Yes! Not your job to "fix him" in two weeks. Offer some choices, be a gracious host.

What you SHOULD be worried about is your husband and his grandson having a memorable time together. Why the heck is this about you?

I think grandpa needs a new wife.

You need a new brain. What is wrong with teaching children manners? No wonder so many children grow up thinking that they can behave however they want. OP, don't be afraid to tell the child off if he's rude. Just make sure your husband supports you as well. Show a united front.

Step grandma is the rude one, not the kid.

The kid hasn't even arrived yet and 40 year old step grandma is already planning what fight she will great him with.