Just got grief for bringing 5 yo DS into the women's locker room

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks all. I will check to see if there's a family changing room AND also bring sweats or something to cover him up next time.

This is the first time we've been at this pool. I naively thought following the pool's rule of 5 and under was ok, but I see that many people have a problem with the rule as it stands.

I think many posters have attributed posts to me that I didn't write. I would and will always follow the rules of the pool so any posts saying that I'll do whatever I want (or whatever I think is best) were not posted by me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't the real issue that the mothers want their sons in the locker so that the mothers can keep and eye on the child while the mother changes? Boys can change with a towel around their waist pretty easily, so they really don't need to be in any locker room to change.

A mother can throw on sweats to drive home or else change in a restroom. The real issue is that some think they are entitled to get their way to hell with everyone else.

Please explain. If the mother is changing in the restroom how is this different from changing in the changing room (and typically the restroom is INSIDE the changing room). Where are her children while she is in the restroom? How is this different from when she's in the changing room? She is still leaving her 5 year old unsupervised somewhere, against the rules of the facility.

Sigh. Let me break it down for you: swimming ends. At poolside mom throws on sweats. Mom then either throws on clothes or a robe on kid over kid's wet suit and drives him home OR takes kid into the women's restroom (NOT the locker room) OR changes kid poolside with a towel around him OR allows kid to change himself.

Many a time I've held a towel up for my then 5 year old and used my TOES to help pull his suit down.

Let me break it down for YOU: restroom is INSIDE the locker room. Changing poolside is strictly prohibited (and enforced). It is 32 degrees outside. Understand, you old prude?

Aside: it's actually hilarious to me that adult women think that there is an issue with being seen by or seeing a 5 year old changing their clothes. Seriously, people, who are you? Do you even remember what a 5 year old looks like? I have one. They are innocent little kids!

So, what's the problem with toweling off poolside and then throwing on sweats over the suit, like many PPs have suggested?

I refer you to the above reply. See: it's 32 degrees outside.

What's the problem with you getting the stick out of your ass?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

So, what's the problem with toweling off poolside and then throwing on sweats over the suit, like many PPs have suggested?

I'm a mom with a daughter. On the advice of DCUM, I tried this with my DD one day. She was miserable on the ride home. Her wet suit soaked through her sweatpants. We put a towel down over the car seat and the car seat still got wet--through the sweat and the towel. Add to that that she had to walk to the car in a wet suit and then get into a 32 degree car, it was terrible.

I would not recommend this solution for a mom with boys. And yes, I have a 4.5 yr boy. I am going to be facing this challenge very soon as our pool does not have a family dressing room. I'm not sure what I'm going to do if he is unable to manage to get his wet suit off his body, towel off, get his dry clothes out of his backpack, put them on, put his wet clothes into his backpack and come out an meet me outside the mens locker room. At 4.5, he is not able to accomplish these things on his own. Maybe in 6 months, he will be able to--who knows.

For the summer, I don't see an issue with going home in a wet suit. It's the winter swimming where it really becomes an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This argument, which happens at least once a year, is absurd. If you don't like the rules of the club, don't go to that club.

Why should my 10 year old daughter have to deal with your 5+ year old son staring at her while she changes?

You can change you son at home, in the car, or even by putting a towel around his waist so that he can do a deck change.

You could also accompany him into the men's locker room. As a father, I would rather you see me naked than have your son see my daughter naked.

When you break the rule and bring your son into the ladies locker room, you are just saying that you think his welfare is more important than the welfare of my daughter and all of the other young girls in that locker room.

Firstly my 5 year old son has ABSOLUTELY ZERO interest in looking at your 10 year old daughter. Secondly, if your 10 year old daughter should think that my 5 year old son was looking at her it is YOUR DUTY as a parent to tell her that he's just a little kid, that she should mind her own business and get on with getting clothed. Where are all you people that see so much nudity in the changing room anyway? I certainly don't ever see ANYONE naked, nor am I, myself, standing there naked in any way that people can really see anything significant.

If you think nudity is such a non-issue, just change your son outside the locker room in the lobby. If he protests that people are looking at him, just tell him to mind his own business and get on with getting clothed. And people are not objecting to boys under 5, they are objecting to boys older than 5.

A girl should feel free to change in the girl's locker room.

Agree. No-one is stopping her. And a mother should feel free to keep her young child with her in the changing room, regardless of gender.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This argument, which happens at least once a year, is absurd. If you don't like the rules of the club, don't go to that club.

Why should my 10 year old daughter have to deal with your 5+ year old son staring at her while she changes?

You can change you son at home, in the car, or even by putting a towel around his waist so that he can do a deck change.

You could also accompany him into the men's locker room. As a father, I would rather you see me naked than have your son see my daughter naked.

When you break the rule and bring your son into the ladies locker room, you are just saying that you think his welfare is more important than the welfare of my daughter and all of the other young girls in that locker room.

Firstly my 5 year old son has ABSOLUTELY ZERO interest in looking at your 10 year old daughter. Secondly, if your 10 year old daughter should think that my 5 year old son was looking at her it is YOUR DUTY as a parent to tell her that he's just a little kid, that she should mind her own business and get on with getting clothed. Where are all you people that see so much nudity in the changing room anyway? I certainly don't ever see ANYONE naked, nor am I, myself, standing there naked in any way that people can really see anything significant.

That is just the most ridiculous response. How exactly do you reason with a pre-teen about something like this? Do you have a daughter?

As noted above, why don't you go into the men's changing room with your son. You should not worry about anyone looking at you, you should just mind your own business and get on with getting clothed.

No, yours is the most ridiculous response. You are really advocating that a grown woman go in the men's? No, you clearly passed on your ridiculous hang ups to your TEN YEAR OLD. She's 10. Tell her to grow the hell up and that a 5 year old isn't ogling her then get on with your business.

But why does your 5 year old need to be there in the first place?

The same reason that your 10 year old needs to be there. Let's fix this, shall we, why don't you keep your 10 year old at home.

No, the 10-year-old is using the facilities for the purpose for which they are provided. The 5-year-old is not. So, again, why can't you just towel off and throw on sweats poolside?

Exactly how many times would you like that question to be answered?

The 5 year old is also using the facilities for the purpose for which they are provided. It is a changing room. He is changing in it. With his mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't most pools have rules about the age of children in locker rooms for the opposite sex? Our pool in the summer says no kids under six are allowed. It doesn't really matter what everyone thinks is appropriate. Op: I would just find out what the rule is at that pool and keep doing what you're doing if your child is allowed.

Yes, but PPs are claiming that they get to disregard that rule because of...reasons.

No they are not. At least most people aren't. Most people here are talking about 5 year olds. And several crazy prudish hung up old women with body issues seem to think that it's an issue if their 10 year old sees a 3 year old boy naked or that a 3 year old might stare sexually at their daughter. Fucking nuts.

[Anonymous]

My son and daughter are young adults now, but I remember years ago asking the pediatrician how old she thought my son should be before he went into the men's room alone. She said 8.

And, since it is generally accepted (e.g. by NAEYC) that early childhood ends at approximately the 8th birthday, I don't see why 6 and 7 year old boys can't be in the women's locker room if there's no adult male with them. Of course, if their behavior is egregious in some way, that would be different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So, what's the problem with toweling off poolside and then throwing on sweats over the suit, like many PPs have suggested?

I'm a mom with a daughter. On the advice of DCUM, I tried this with my DD one day. She was miserable on the ride home. Her wet suit soaked through her sweatpants. We put a towel down over the car seat and the car seat still got wet--through the sweat and the towel. Add to that that she had to walk to the car in a wet suit and then get into a 32 degree car, it was terrible.

I would not recommend this solution for a mom with boys. And yes, I have a 4.5 yr boy. I am going to be facing this challenge very soon as our pool does not have a family dressing room. I'm not sure what I'm going to do if he is unable to manage to get his wet suit off his body, towel off, get his dry clothes out of his backpack, put them on, put his wet clothes into his backpack and come out an meet me outside the mens locker room. At 4.5, he is not able to accomplish these things on his own. Maybe in 6 months, he will be able to--who knows.

For the summer, I don't see an issue with going home in a wet suit. It's the winter swimming where it really becomes an issue.

The straps of a seat cannot get wet, so be careful. Just change your kid and ignore the comments. They clearly do not have young boys. I have got looks changing my kid in public when we were in a hurry and none in the women's room, which was filled with boys. Why would you place a wet child in a 32 degree car? That makes no sense. One thing to have wet hair, but have wet clothing on your body is not ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks all. I will check to see if there's a family changing room AND also bring sweats or something to cover him up next time.

This is the first time we've been at this pool. I naively thought following the pool's rule of 5 and under was ok, but I see that many people have a problem with the rule as it stands.

I think many posters have attributed posts to me that I didn't write. I would and will always follow the rules of the pool so any posts saying that I'll do whatever I want (or whatever I think is best) were not posted by me.

OP, your kid is 5 and you were following the rules. Don't let the nutters here tell you otherwise. The rules are there for a reason and there is no reason that you should feel strong armed into acting differently with your FIVE YEAR OLD. Next time someone tells you he is not 5, tell them clearly and calmly that you are his mother and you are very certain of his birth date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't most pools have rules about the age of children in locker rooms for the opposite sex? Our pool in the summer says no kids under six are allowed. It doesn't really matter what everyone thinks is appropriate. Op: I would just find out what the rule is at that pool and keep doing what you're doing if your child is allowed.

Yes, but PPs are claiming that they get to disregard that rule because of...reasons.

No they are not. At least most people aren't. Most people here are talking about 5 year olds. And several crazy prudish hung up old women with body issues seem to think that it's an issue if their 10 year old sees a 3 year old boy naked or that a 3 year old might stare sexually at their daughter. Fucking nuts.

They are probably the same moms breastfeeding in public with their breasts showing as they refuse to cover up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't most pools have rules about the age of children in locker rooms for the opposite sex? Our pool in the summer says no kids under six are allowed. It doesn't really matter what everyone thinks is appropriate. Op: I would just find out what the rule is at that pool and keep doing what you're doing if your child is allowed.

Yes, but PPs are claiming that they get to disregard that rule because of...reasons.

No they are not. At least most people aren't. Most people here are talking about 5 year olds. And several crazy prudish hung up old women with body issues seem to think that it's an issue if their 10 year old sees a 3 year old boy naked or that a 3 year old might stare sexually at their daughter. Fucking nuts.

It doesn't have to sexual to be uncomfortable. Little kids are curious and they stare. That makes people uncomfortable. My mother stopped taking my youngest brother into the ladies' room when he was about 3, and commented to one of the teenage girls "Maria! You have boobs! Are you a mommy?" Poor girl nearly fell through the floor, she was so embarrassed.

He wasn't being sexual. He was just being a kid. It was still embarrassing for the young lady.

[Anonymous]

I used bathroom stalls with my son if it was an open locker room. Our locker room had a 5 year old cutoff.

When he was 6, I'd towel him off good by the pool, put a dry shirt on him, and send him to the men's locker room with just his sweatpants and underwear. He did a quick change there, and we finished putting on shoes, socks, jackets, etc. out in the hall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So, what's the problem with toweling off poolside and then throwing on sweats over the suit, like many PPs have suggested?

I'm a mom with a daughter. On the advice of DCUM, I tried this with my DD one day. She was miserable on the ride home. Her wet suit soaked through her sweatpants. We put a towel down over the car seat and the car seat still got wet--through the sweat and the towel. Add to that that she had to walk to the car in a wet suit and then get into a 32 degree car, it was terrible.

I would not recommend this solution for a mom with boys. And yes, I have a 4.5 yr boy. I am going to be facing this challenge very soon as our pool does not have a family dressing room. I'm not sure what I'm going to do if he is unable to manage to get his wet suit off his body, towel off, get his dry clothes out of his backpack, put them on, put his wet clothes into his backpack and come out an meet me outside the mens locker room. At 4.5, he is not able to accomplish these things on his own. Maybe in 6 months, he will be able to--who knows.

For the summer, I don't see an issue with going home in a wet suit. It's the winter swimming where it really becomes an issue.

Thank you PP for a clear explanation. And as the mom of a 5 year old I'm pretty sure that you won't be comfortable with letting him go in to the men's on his own in six months time. At our local pool it's often full of poorly behaved teenage boys who I really don't want to be around my child with no adults present (nothing too untoward but the swearing and horseplay and intimidation is not appropriate for my 5 year old unsupervised). Also, in any other circumstance it seems to be widely accepted that you don't leave your 5 year old unsupervised. You don't leave them in the car while you get gas, you don't send them into the restroom on their own, you don't let them go into a store without you, you don't leave them at the playground while you tend to a younger sibling a few hundred feet away, why would it suddenly then be ok to send them into the locker room on their own?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This argument, which happens at least once a year, is absurd. If you don't like the rules of the club, don't go to that club.

Why should my 10 year old daughter have to deal with your 5+ year old son staring at her while she changes?

You can change you son at home, in the car, or even by putting a towel around his waist so that he can do a deck change.

You could also accompany him into the men's locker room. As a father, I would rather you see me naked than have your son see my daughter naked.

When you break the rule and bring your son into the ladies locker room, you are just saying that you think his welfare is more important than the welfare of my daughter and all of the other young girls in that locker room.

Firstly my 5 year old son has ABSOLUTELY ZERO interest in looking at your 10 year old daughter. Secondly, if your 10 year old daughter should think that my 5 year old son was looking at her it is YOUR DUTY as a parent to tell her that he's just a little kid, that she should mind her own business and get on with getting clothed. Where are all you people that see so much nudity in the changing room anyway? I certainly don't ever see ANYONE naked, nor am I, myself, standing there naked in any way that people can really see anything significant.

That is just the most ridiculous response. How exactly do you reason with a pre-teen about something like this? Do you have a daughter?

As noted above, why don't you go into the men's changing room with your son. You should not worry about anyone looking at you, you should just mind your own business and get on with getting clothed.

No, yours is the most ridiculous response. You are really advocating that a grown woman go in the men's? No, you clearly passed on your ridiculous hang ups to your TEN YEAR OLD. She's 10. Tell her to grow the hell up and that a 5 year old isn't ogling her then get on with your business.

But why does your 5 year old need to be there in the first place?

The same reason that your 10 year old needs to be there. Let's fix this, shall we, why don't you keep your 10 year old at home.

No, the 10-year-old is using the facilities for the purpose for which they are provided. The 5-year-old is not. So, again, why can't you just towel off and throw on sweats poolside?

Exactly how many times would you like that question to be answered?

The 5 year old is also using the facilities for the purpose for which they are provided. It is a changing room. He is changing in it. With his mother.

The purpose of single sex changing rooms is so that males and females can change away from the other gender. Little kids are fine. Bigger kids, not so much. 5 is too old. If you can't stand taking them home in sweatpants or changing on the deck, then you should skip winter swimming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This argument, which happens at least once a year, is absurd. If you don't like the rules of the club, don't go to that club.

Why should my 10 year old daughter have to deal with your 5+ year old son staring at her while she changes?

You can change you son at home, in the car, or even by putting a towel around his waist so that he can do a deck change.

You could also accompany him into the men's locker room. As a father, I would rather you see me naked than have your son see my daughter naked.

When you break the rule and bring your son into the ladies locker room, you are just saying that you think his welfare is more important than the welfare of my daughter and all of the other young girls in that locker room.

Firstly my 5 year old son has ABSOLUTELY ZERO interest in looking at your 10 year old daughter. Secondly, if your 10 year old daughter should think that my 5 year old son was looking at her it is YOUR DUTY as a parent to tell her that he's just a little kid, that she should mind her own business and get on with getting clothed. Where are all you people that see so much nudity in the changing room anyway? I certainly don't ever see ANYONE naked, nor am I, myself, standing there naked in any way that people can really see anything significant.

That is just the most ridiculous response. How exactly do you reason with a pre-teen about something like this? Do you have a daughter?

As noted above, why don't you go into the men's changing room with your son. You should not worry about anyone looking at you, you should just mind your own business and get on with getting clothed.

No, yours is the most ridiculous response. You are really advocating that a grown woman go in the men's? No, you clearly passed on your ridiculous hang ups to your TEN YEAR OLD. She's 10. Tell her to grow the hell up and that a 5 year old isn't ogling her then get on with your business.

But why does your 5 year old need to be there in the first place?

The same reason that your 10 year old needs to be there. Let's fix this, shall we, why don't you keep your 10 year old at home.

No, the 10-year-old is using the facilities for the purpose for which they are provided. The 5-year-old is not. So, again, why can't you just towel off and throw on sweats poolside?

Exactly how many times would you like that question to be answered?

The 5 year old is also using the facilities for the purpose for which they are provided. It is a changing room. He is changing in it. With his mother.

The purpose of single sex changing rooms is so that males and females can change away from the other gender. Little kids are fine. Bigger kids, not so much. 5 is too old. If you can't stand taking them home in sweatpants or changing on the deck, then you should skip winter swimming.

A five year old, by any stretch is a little kid. As has been said repeatedly CHANGING BESIDE THE POOL IS PROHIBITED. Read the DCPR rules. People have been banned for less. And taking kids home wet when it's below freezing isn't going to happen. Plus NO FRIGGING WAY is my 5 year old going into the men's without me. NOT.GOING.TO.HAPPEN Deal with it. It's within the rules it's you and your prude daughter's problem.