Just got grief for bringing 5 yo DS into the women's locker room

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This argument, which happens at least once a year, is absurd. If you don't like the rules of the club, don't go to that club.

Why should my 10 year old daughter have to deal with your 5+ year old son staring at her while she changes?

You can change you son at home, in the car, or even by putting a towel around his waist so that he can do a deck change.

You could also accompany him into the men's locker room. As a father, I would rather you see me naked than have your son see my daughter naked.

When you break the rule and bring your son into the ladies locker room, you are just saying that you think his welfare is more important than the welfare of my daughter and all of the other young girls in that locker room.

Firstly my 5 year old son has ABSOLUTELY ZERO interest in looking at your 10 year old daughter. Secondly, if your 10 year old daughter should think that my 5 year old son was looking at her it is YOUR DUTY as a parent to tell her that he's just a little kid, that she should mind her own business and get on with getting clothed. Where are all you people that see so much nudity in the changing room anyway? I certainly don't ever see ANYONE naked, nor am I, myself, standing there naked in any way that people can really see anything significant.

That is just the most ridiculous response. How exactly do you reason with a pre-teen about something like this? Do you have a daughter?

As noted above, why don't you go into the men's changing room with your son. You should not worry about anyone looking at you, you should just mind your own business and get on with getting clothed.

No, yours is the most ridiculous response. You are really advocating that a grown woman go in the men's? No, you clearly passed on your ridiculous hang ups to your TEN YEAR OLD. She's 10. Tell her to grow the hell up and that a 5 year old isn't ogling her then get on with your business.

But why does your 5 year old need to be there in the first place?

The same reason that your 10 year old needs to be there. Let's fix this, shall we, why don't you keep your 10 year old at home.

No, the 10-year-old is using the facilities for the purpose for which they are provided. The 5-year-old is not. So, again, why can't you just towel off and throw on sweats poolside?

Exactly how many times would you like that question to be answered?

The 5 year old is also using the facilities for the purpose for which they are provided. It is a changing room. He is changing in it. With his mother.

The purpose of single sex changing rooms is so that males and females can change away from the other gender. Little kids are fine. Bigger kids, not so much. 5 is too old. If you can't stand taking them home in sweatpants or changing on the deck, then you should skip winter swimming.

A five year old, by any stretch is a little kid. As has been said repeatedly CHANGING BESIDE THE POOL IS PROHIBITED. Read the DCPR rules. People have been banned for less. And taking kids home wet when it's below freezing isn't going to happen. Plus NO FRIGGING WAY is my 5 year old going into the men's without me. NOT.GOING.TO.HAPPEN Deal with it. It's within the rules it's you and your prude daughter's problem.

What are you going to do when that kid is 6?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Thank you PP for a clear explanation. And as the mom of a 5 year old I'm pretty sure that you won't be comfortable with letting him go in to the men's on his own in six months time. At our local pool it's often full of poorly behaved teenage boys who I really don't want to be around my child with no adults present (nothing too untoward but the swearing and horseplay and intimidation is not appropriate for my 5 year old unsupervised). Also, in any other circumstance it seems to be widely accepted that you don't leave your 5 year old unsupervised. You don't leave them in the car while you get gas, you don't send them into the restroom on their own, you don't let them go into a store without you, you don't leave them at the playground while you tend to a younger sibling a few hundred feet away, why would it suddenly then be ok to send them into the locker room on their own?

What this mainly shows, in my opinion, is that middle-class US society's opinion on the necessity of close supervision of five-year-olds at all times is absurd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So, what's the problem with toweling off poolside and then throwing on sweats over the suit, like many PPs have suggested?

I'm a mom with a daughter. On the advice of DCUM, I tried this with my DD one day. She was miserable on the ride home. Her wet suit soaked through her sweatpants. We put a towel down over the car seat and the car seat still got wet--through the sweat and the towel. Add to that that she had to walk to the car in a wet suit and then get into a 32 degree car, it was terrible.

I would not recommend this solution for a mom with boys. And yes, I have a 4.5 yr boy. I am going to be facing this challenge very soon as our pool does not have a family dressing room. I'm not sure what I'm going to do if he is unable to manage to get his wet suit off his body, towel off, get his dry clothes out of his backpack, put them on, put his wet clothes into his backpack and come out an meet me outside the mens locker room. At 4.5, he is not able to accomplish these things on his own. Maybe in 6 months, he will be able to--who knows.

For the summer, I don't see an issue with going home in a wet suit. It's the winter swimming where it really becomes an issue.

The straps of a seat cannot get wet, so be careful. Just change your kid and ignore the comments. They clearly do not have young boys. I have got looks changing my kid in public when we were in a hurry and none in the women's room, which was filled with boys. Why would you place a wet child in a 32 degree car? That makes no sense. One thing to have wet hair, but have wet clothing on your body is not ok.

Ok, seriously, it's not ok for your son to be uncomfortable for a few moments because he's wearing a damp suit under sweats, but it's ok for him to make every girl in the locker room uncomfortable while they're changing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So, what's the problem with toweling off poolside and then throwing on sweats over the suit, like many PPs have suggested?

I'm a mom with a daughter. On the advice of DCUM, I tried this with my DD one day. She was miserable on the ride home. Her wet suit soaked through her sweatpants. We put a towel down over the car seat and the car seat still got wet--through the sweat and the towel. Add to that that she had to walk to the car in a wet suit and then get into a 32 degree car, it was terrible.

I would not recommend this solution for a mom with boys. And yes, I have a 4.5 yr boy. I am going to be facing this challenge very soon as our pool does not have a family dressing room. I'm not sure what I'm going to do if he is unable to manage to get his wet suit off his body, towel off, get his dry clothes out of his backpack, put them on, put his wet clothes into his backpack and come out an meet me outside the mens locker room. At 4.5, he is not able to accomplish these things on his own. Maybe in 6 months, he will be able to--who knows.

For the summer, I don't see an issue with going home in a wet suit. It's the winter swimming where it really becomes an issue.

The straps of a seat cannot get wet, so be careful. Just change your kid and ignore the comments. They clearly do not have young boys. I have got looks changing my kid in public when we were in a hurry and none in the women's room, which was filled with boys. Why would you place a wet child in a 32 degree car? That makes no sense. One thing to have wet hair, but have wet clothing on your body is not ok.

Ok, seriously, it's not ok for your son to be uncomfortable for a few moments because he's wearing a damp suit under sweats, but it's ok for him to make every girl in the locker room uncomfortable while they're changing?

Pretty much. The only thing that matters is "ME!" and "MY KID!" Screw the rest of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Thank you PP for a clear explanation. And as the mom of a 5 year old I'm pretty sure that you won't be comfortable with letting him go in to the men's on his own in six months time. At our local pool it's often full of poorly behaved teenage boys who I really don't want to be around my child with no adults present (nothing too untoward but the swearing and horseplay and intimidation is not appropriate for my 5 year old unsupervised). Also, in any other circumstance it seems to be widely accepted that you don't leave your 5 year old unsupervised. You don't leave them in the car while you get gas, you don't send them into the restroom on their own, you don't let them go into a store without you, you don't leave them at the playground while you tend to a younger sibling a few hundred feet away, why would it suddenly then be ok to send them into the locker room on their own?

What this mainly shows, in my opinion, is that middle-class US society's opinion on the necessity of close supervision of five-year-olds at all times is absurd.

I'm from Europe and no one there sends 5-year olds to the changing room alone. Seven or eight, perhaps, but five, absolutely not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So, what's the problem with toweling off poolside and then throwing on sweats over the suit, like many PPs have suggested?

I'm a mom with a daughter. On the advice of DCUM, I tried this with my DD one day. She was miserable on the ride home. Her wet suit soaked through her sweatpants. We put a towel down over the car seat and the car seat still got wet--through the sweat and the towel. Add to that that she had to walk to the car in a wet suit and then get into a 32 degree car, it was terrible.

I would not recommend this solution for a mom with boys. And yes, I have a 4.5 yr boy. I am going to be facing this challenge very soon as our pool does not have a family dressing room. I'm not sure what I'm going to do if he is unable to manage to get his wet suit off his body, towel off, get his dry clothes out of his backpack, put them on, put his wet clothes into his backpack and come out an meet me outside the mens locker room. At 4.5, he is not able to accomplish these things on his own. Maybe in 6 months, he will be able to--who knows.

For the summer, I don't see an issue with going home in a wet suit. It's the winter swimming where it really becomes an issue.

The straps of a seat cannot get wet, so be careful. Just change your kid and ignore the comments. They clearly do not have young boys. I have got looks changing my kid in public when we were in a hurry and none in the women's room, which was filled with boys. Why would you place a wet child in a 32 degree car? That makes no sense. One thing to have wet hair, but have wet clothing on your body is not ok.

Ok, seriously, it's not ok for your son to be uncomfortable for a few moments because he's wearing a damp suit under sweats, but it's ok for him to make every girl in the locker room uncomfortable while they're changing?

A five-year old boy in the locker room does not make me uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

I have a daughter and I don't get freaked out with little boys with their moms. Usually those moms hurry their boys in and out. I actually feel for their embarrassment. It is only an issue if a little boy is running around unsupervised and just staring that sort of thing. This never happens though. Is this even a real post?

[Anonymous]

OP, you were following the rules at your pool. The person who spoke to you about having your son in the locker room was out of line.

Everyone else, you are funny to be carrying on like this. It is so simple. Follow the rule at your pool. If you can't do that, then skip the swimming. I swam for years year-round in this area. Many times I went from the pool to a cold car and I lived to tell the tale.

I have sons and daughters. When they are with me and only me at the pool, we follow the rule of our pool. I don't send my boys into the men's locker room until I am ready to but I also don't bring them into the women's locker room once they are too old according to the pool rule. We towel off poolside, put on dry clothes over our suits and head for the car. They will not die from this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So, what's the problem with toweling off poolside and then throwing on sweats over the suit, like many PPs have suggested?

I'm a mom with a daughter. On the advice of DCUM, I tried this with my DD one day. She was miserable on the ride home. Her wet suit soaked through her sweatpants. We put a towel down over the car seat and the car seat still got wet--through the sweat and the towel. Add to that that she had to walk to the car in a wet suit and then get into a 32 degree car, it was terrible.

I would not recommend this solution for a mom with boys. And yes, I have a 4.5 yr boy. I am going to be facing this challenge very soon as our pool does not have a family dressing room. I'm not sure what I'm going to do if he is unable to manage to get his wet suit off his body, towel off, get his dry clothes out of his backpack, put them on, put his wet clothes into his backpack and come out an meet me outside the mens locker room. At 4.5, he is not able to accomplish these things on his own. Maybe in 6 months, he will be able to--who knows.

For the summer, I don't see an issue with going home in a wet suit. It's the winter swimming where it really becomes an issue.

The straps of a seat cannot get wet, so be careful. Just change your kid and ignore the comments. They clearly do not have young boys. I have got looks changing my kid in public when we were in a hurry and none in the women's room, which was filled with boys. Why would you place a wet child in a 32 degree car? That makes no sense. One thing to have wet hair, but have wet clothing on your body is not ok.

Ok, seriously, it's not ok for your son to be uncomfortable for a few moments because he's wearing a damp suit under sweats, but it's ok for him to make every girl in the locker room uncomfortable while they're changing?

Pretty much. The only thing that matters is "ME!" and "MY KID!" Screw the rest of you.

You are taking about a young child who cannot fend for themself n if anything. People like you are selfish if you could not care about the safety of children. Not supervising a child is neglect. It makes no sense to being a shivering child outside to a child to drive home or change them in the middle of winter. If you are not comfortable then you do what you are suggesting. Problem solved. If it is no big deal to go out in a soaking wet bathing suit in the middle of the winter, then why are you not practicing what you preach.

[Anonymous]

I don't think anyone has a problem with a 4 year old, most probably don't have a problem with a 5 year old, but what about the 6, 7 & 8 year olds?

No one was suggesting that if what you are doing is within the rules it is a problem.

What I read is one group of people saying is that the club set an age limit and you should adhere to that age limit or go to another club and a second d saying I will bring my son I to the ladies' locker room for as long as I want regardless of his age and the rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Thank you PP for a clear explanation. And as the mom of a 5 year old I'm pretty sure that you won't be comfortable with letting him go in to the men's on his own in six months time. At our local pool it's often full of poorly behaved teenage boys who I really don't want to be around my child with no adults present (nothing too untoward but the swearing and horseplay and intimidation is not appropriate for my 5 year old unsupervised). Also, in any other circumstance it seems to be widely accepted that you don't leave your 5 year old unsupervised. You don't leave them in the car while you get gas, you don't send them into the restroom on their own, you don't let them go into a store without you, you don't leave them at the playground while you tend to a younger sibling a few hundred feet away, why would it suddenly then be ok to send them into the locker room on their own?

What this mainly shows, in my opinion, is that middle-class US society's opinion on the necessity of close supervision of five-year-olds at all times is absurd.

While I do agree, on the whole, I do not agree that a 5 year old should be unsupervised in a locker room. However, I was pointing out the hypocrisy of the prudes here who are likely also the same people who freak out to see a child walking 15 feet in front of his parents.

[Anonymous]

What I read is one group of people saying is that the club set an age limit and you should adhere to that age limit or go to another club

I think this is reasonable. The club/pool sets an age limit and people comply with it. If parents are not comfortable with whatever the age limit is, they can go elsewhere. If other patrons are not comfortable having boys of the age allowed by the club/pool in the locker room, they can also go elsewhere.

I do think that clubs/pools need to provide at least one family locker room. Kids above the age limit that have special needs may need assistance changing from a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So, what's the problem with toweling off poolside and then throwing on sweats over the suit, like many PPs have suggested?

I'm a mom with a daughter. On the advice of DCUM, I tried this with my DD one day. She was miserable on the ride home. Her wet suit soaked through her sweatpants. We put a towel down over the car seat and the car seat still got wet--through the sweat and the towel. Add to that that she had to walk to the car in a wet suit and then get into a 32 degree car, it was terrible.

I would not recommend this solution for a mom with boys. And yes, I have a 4.5 yr boy. I am going to be facing this challenge very soon as our pool does not have a family dressing room. I'm not sure what I'm going to do if he is unable to manage to get his wet suit off his body, towel off, get his dry clothes out of his backpack, put them on, put his wet clothes into his backpack and come out an meet me outside the mens locker room. At 4.5, he is not able to accomplish these things on his own. Maybe in 6 months, he will be able to--who knows.

For the summer, I don't see an issue with going home in a wet suit. It's the winter swimming where it really becomes an issue.

The straps of a seat cannot get wet, so be careful. Just change your kid and ignore the comments. They clearly do not have young boys. I have got looks changing my kid in public when we were in a hurry and none in the women's room, which was filled with boys. Why would you place a wet child in a 32 degree car? That makes no sense. One thing to have wet hair, but have wet clothing on your body is not ok.

Ok, seriously, it's not ok for your son to be uncomfortable for a few moments because he's wearing a damp suit under sweats, but it's ok for him to make every girl in the locker room uncomfortable while they're changing?

1) He won't be making anyone uncomfortable changing. For fucks sake, he's 5. If you or your daughters have a problem with this YOU CAN GO SWIM ELSEWHERE. If you complain about me, it is YOU who will be thrown out, not me.
2) It's not a matter of him being uncomfortable because he's wet, it's a matter of getting hypothermia. It would be severe neglect to take a wet child outside in freezing weather. You know that so stop being deliberately obstinate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So, what's the problem with toweling off poolside and then throwing on sweats over the suit, like many PPs have suggested?

I'm a mom with a daughter. On the advice of DCUM, I tried this with my DD one day. She was miserable on the ride home. Her wet suit soaked through her sweatpants. We put a towel down over the car seat and the car seat still got wet--through the sweat and the towel. Add to that that she had to walk to the car in a wet suit and then get into a 32 degree car, it was terrible.

I would not recommend this solution for a mom with boys. And yes, I have a 4.5 yr boy. I am going to be facing this challenge very soon as our pool does not have a family dressing room. I'm not sure what I'm going to do if he is unable to manage to get his wet suit off his body, towel off, get his dry clothes out of his backpack, put them on, put his wet clothes into his backpack and come out an meet me outside the mens locker room. At 4.5, he is not able to accomplish these things on his own. Maybe in 6 months, he will be able to--who knows.

For the summer, I don't see an issue with going home in a wet suit. It's the winter swimming where it really becomes an issue.

The straps of a seat cannot get wet, so be careful. Just change your kid and ignore the comments. They clearly do not have young boys. I have got looks changing my kid in public when we were in a hurry and none in the women's room, which was filled with boys. Why would you place a wet child in a 32 degree car? That makes no sense. One thing to have wet hair, but have wet clothing on your body is not ok.

Ok, seriously, it's not ok for your son to be uncomfortable for a few moments because he's wearing a damp suit under sweats, but it's ok for him to make every girl in the locker room uncomfortable while they're changing?

Pretty much. The only thing that matters is "ME!" and "MY KID!" Screw the rest of you.

Agree. That's exactly what the nonsense coming from the prudes sounds like. Sorry but your kid's hang ups (which you've created, BTW) are not my problem. My child's safety is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

So, what's the problem with toweling off poolside and then throwing on sweats over the suit, like many PPs have suggested?

I'm a mom with a daughter. On the advice of DCUM, I tried this with my DD one day. She was miserable on the ride home. Her wet suit soaked through her sweatpants. We put a towel down over the car seat and the car seat still got wet--through the sweat and the towel. Add to that that she had to walk to the car in a wet suit and then get into a 32 degree car, it was terrible.

I would not recommend this solution for a mom with boys. And yes, I have a 4.5 yr boy. I am going to be facing this challenge very soon as our pool does not have a family dressing room. I'm not sure what I'm going to do if he is unable to manage to get his wet suit off his body, towel off, get his dry clothes out of his backpack, put them on, put his wet clothes into his backpack and come out an meet me outside the mens locker room. At 4.5, he is not able to accomplish these things on his own. Maybe in 6 months, he will be able to--who knows.

For the summer, I don't see an issue with going home in a wet suit. It's the winter swimming where it really becomes an issue.

The straps of a seat cannot get wet, so be careful. Just change your kid and ignore the comments. They clearly do not have young boys. I have got looks changing my kid in public when we were in a hurry and none in the women's room, which was filled with boys. Why would you place a wet child in a 32 degree car? That makes no sense. One thing to have wet hair, but have wet clothing on your body is not ok.

Ok, seriously, it's not ok for your son to be uncomfortable for a few moments because he's wearing a damp suit under sweats, but it's ok for him to make every girl in the locker room uncomfortable while they're changing?

1) He won't be making anyone uncomfortable changing. For fucks sake, he's 5. If you or your daughters have a problem with this YOU CAN GO SWIM ELSEWHERE. If you complain about me, it is YOU who will be thrown out, not me.
2) It's not a matter of him being uncomfortable because he's wet, it's a matter of getting hypothermia. It would be severe neglect to take a wet child outside in freezing weather. You know that so stop being deliberately obstinate.

Sorry lady. You don't rule the world. If the club says no kids above 5, then you need to do something else.

And nobody gets hypothermia from walking to a car with a wet swimsuit underneath sweats.