I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have said something earlier in November, but frankly you both should have tested before sex, period. So, that is on you. What's your plan now? Leave him, and have your baby without him. Dear- you are now in the same boat as he is, getting it the same way he got it. So, what's the plan? You will have to tell others, and meanwhile you had this guy who loves you and you have already been exposed. Did you think perhaps you also had it and didn't know, seems like no one has tested.

Interestingly enough, in this day and age, most people have something, HSV, HPV, etc.

There's ways to manage, and you will just manage. You have already been exposed, let your OBGyn know, everything will be ok. This is already old hat. Your behavior now needs some calming down.

She may not have it….

Does not matter. She's been exposed and herpes can rear itself much later, just like this guy. Neither of them were responsible. She owns this as well. But going forward, especially the birth, and any dating, she has to say something. This is what happened to him. He was infected by someone. There is really no bad guy here.

Um no. There is a test for it-and it’s like 99% accurate after 28 days of exposure. So she is not “exposed and needs to tell people” if she doesn’t actually have it. she doesn’t need to tell people she was exposed by some dude for the rest of her life. Being exposed simply means you need to be tested. You think people go around saying “I was exposed to herpes in 1989” The intelligence level here is really disturbing. Herpes isn’t going to randomly show up in 5 years in someone who doesn’t test positive for the virus. That’s not how it works.

You really don’t know what you are talking about. The blood test cannot tell how recently you were infected and herpes can be dormant for a long time. I get like one cold sore every few years.

Yeah but YOU HAVE HERPES. If you go get tested right now even while you don’t have a cold sore your test is going to be POSITIVE. Sorry.

Everyone with a virus does not shed viral loads in continuous and consistent amounts. It varies that’s why having sex with someone who has an STD doesn’t mean you’ll automatically catch it.

Unfortunately when you came in contact with the person you caught it from they were hella shedding and you caught it. Was just bad luck along with the irresponsibility and bam now you’re positive forever.

Op, have you had the flu since you’ve been dating this guy? Any flue like symptoms at all?

The PP poster was not me

But to answer your question…I got sick last year but I always get sick every year.

ATP all you can do is get tested and refrain from having sex with him at least until the baby is here. Flu like symptoms are usually the first sign that you’ve caught any virus. I’m hoping you didn’t catch this and can be rid of this guy.

Just came from seeing my OB. He doesn’t believe I have it because if I haven’t had an outbreak. He said he could do a blood test but blood tests aren’t reliable because if you have antibodies it’ll say “positive”, so this is why they go by visuals, and he said if or my ex had an outbreak I would definitely know. He’s going to put me on antivirals to be on the safe side.

I’m relieved for the most part.

You only have antibodies if you are positive. So either 1. Your doctor is an idiot. 2. You didn’t actually go to a doctor.

The blood tests are 99% accurate. They are as reliable as any other STD test or pregnancy test. You really can’t get more accurate than that. It’s true the blood tests used to be unreliable but they simply aren’t anymore so I’m not sure why this keeps getting mentioned. I don’t understand if you are this worried why you wouldn’t get a blood test. It honestly makes you sound just like him wanting to keep your head in the sand.

You can have a cold sore and test positive for an antibody. This is why majority of the population, if tested would test positive for antibodies. Most people would acquire HSV-1 as a child because close contact with other kids, kisses from family members, etc. Antibodies test for exposure at anytime, which makes it unreliable, again, because most people would test positive for antibodies.

This is not the case for HSV-2 though which is the concern with the pregnancy. Most people do not test positive for HSV-2. And if you have a cold sore you have HSV-1, which is Herpes. I’m not sure why you are describing cold sores as not being herpes. But regardless, why would someone not want to know if they have HSV-2????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have said something earlier in November, but frankly you both should have tested before sex, period. So, that is on you. What's your plan now? Leave him, and have your baby without him. Dear- you are now in the same boat as he is, getting it the same way he got it. So, what's the plan? You will have to tell others, and meanwhile you had this guy who loves you and you have already been exposed. Did you think perhaps you also had it and didn't know, seems like no one has tested.

Interestingly enough, in this day and age, most people have something, HSV, HPV, etc.

There's ways to manage, and you will just manage. You have already been exposed, let your OBGyn know, everything will be ok. This is already old hat. Your behavior now needs some calming down.

She may not have it….

Does not matter. She's been exposed and herpes can rear itself much later, just like this guy. Neither of them were responsible. She owns this as well. But going forward, especially the birth, and any dating, she has to say something. This is what happened to him. He was infected by someone. There is really no bad guy here.

Um no. There is a test for it-and it’s like 99% accurate after 28 days of exposure. So she is not “exposed and needs to tell people” if she doesn’t actually have it. she doesn’t need to tell people she was exposed by some dude for the rest of her life. Being exposed simply means you need to be tested. You think people go around saying “I was exposed to herpes in 1989” The intelligence level here is really disturbing. Herpes isn’t going to randomly show up in 5 years in someone who doesn’t test positive for the virus. That’s not how it works.

You really don’t know what you are talking about. The blood test cannot tell how recently you were infected and herpes can be dormant for a long time. I get like one cold sore every few years.

Yeah but YOU HAVE HERPES. If you go get tested right now even while you don’t have a cold sore your test is going to be POSITIVE. Sorry.

Everyone with a virus does not shed viral loads in continuous and consistent amounts. It varies that’s why having sex with someone who has an STD doesn’t mean you’ll automatically catch it.

Unfortunately when you came in contact with the person you caught it from they were hella shedding and you caught it. Was just bad luck along with the irresponsibility and bam now you’re positive forever.

Op, have you had the flu since you’ve been dating this guy? Any flue like symptoms at all?

The PP poster was not me

But to answer your question…I got sick last year but I always get sick every year.

ATP all you can do is get tested and refrain from having sex with him at least until the baby is here. Flu like symptoms are usually the first sign that you’ve caught any virus. I’m hoping you didn’t catch this and can be rid of this guy.

Just came from seeing my OB. He doesn’t believe I have it because if I haven’t had an outbreak. He said he could do a blood test but blood tests aren’t reliable because if you have antibodies it’ll say “positive”, so this is why they go by visuals, and he said if or my ex had an outbreak I would definitely know. He’s going to put me on antivirals to be on the safe side.

I’m relieved for the most part.

You only have antibodies if you are positive. So either 1. Your doctor is an idiot. 2. You didn’t actually go to a doctor.

The blood tests are 99% accurate. They are as reliable as any other STD test or pregnancy test. You really can’t get more accurate than that. It’s true the blood tests used to be unreliable but they simply aren’t anymore so I’m not sure why this keeps getting mentioned. I don’t understand if you are this worried why you wouldn’t get a blood test. It honestly makes you sound just like him wanting to keep your head in the sand.

You can have a cold sore and test positive for an antibody. This is why majority of the population, if tested would test positive for antibodies. Most people would acquire HSV-1 as a child because close contact with other kids, kisses from family members, etc. Antibodies test for exposure at anytime, which makes it unreliable, again, because most people would test positive for antibodies.

Thank you for explaining this. 20 years ago, I tested positive for antibody when I was in HS and I was so confused because I was still a virgin.

I’ve never had a cold sore in my life. When i tested for the hsv again in college (this time i was sexual), I didn’t have the antibody

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have said something earlier in November, but frankly you both should have tested before sex, period. So, that is on you. What's your plan now? Leave him, and have your baby without him. Dear- you are now in the same boat as he is, getting it the same way he got it. So, what's the plan? You will have to tell others, and meanwhile you had this guy who loves you and you have already been exposed. Did you think perhaps you also had it and didn't know, seems like no one has tested.

Interestingly enough, in this day and age, most people have something, HSV, HPV, etc.

There's ways to manage, and you will just manage. You have already been exposed, let your OBGyn know, everything will be ok. This is already old hat. Your behavior now needs some calming down.

She may not have it….

Does not matter. She's been exposed and herpes can rear itself much later, just like this guy. Neither of them were responsible. She owns this as well. But going forward, especially the birth, and any dating, she has to say something. This is what happened to him. He was infected by someone. There is really no bad guy here.

Um no. There is a test for it-and it’s like 99% accurate after 28 days of exposure. So she is not “exposed and needs to tell people” if she doesn’t actually have it. she doesn’t need to tell people she was exposed by some dude for the rest of her life. Being exposed simply means you need to be tested. You think people go around saying “I was exposed to herpes in 1989” The intelligence level here is really disturbing. Herpes isn’t going to randomly show up in 5 years in someone who doesn’t test positive for the virus. That’s not how it works.

You really don’t know what you are talking about. The blood test cannot tell how recently you were infected and herpes can be dormant for a long time. I get like one cold sore every few years.

Yeah but YOU HAVE HERPES. If you go get tested right now even while you don’t have a cold sore your test is going to be POSITIVE. Sorry.

Everyone with a virus does not shed viral loads in continuous and consistent amounts. It varies that’s why having sex with someone who has an STD doesn’t mean you’ll automatically catch it.

Unfortunately when you came in contact with the person you caught it from they were hella shedding and you caught it. Was just bad luck along with the irresponsibility and bam now you’re positive forever.

Op, have you had the flu since you’ve been dating this guy? Any flue like symptoms at all?

The PP poster was not me

But to answer your question…I got sick last year but I always get sick every year.

ATP all you can do is get tested and refrain from having sex with him at least until the baby is here. Flu like symptoms are usually the first sign that you’ve caught any virus. I’m hoping you didn’t catch this and can be rid of this guy.

Just came from seeing my OB. He doesn’t believe I have it because if I haven’t had an outbreak. He said he could do a blood test but blood tests aren’t reliable because if you have antibodies it’ll say “positive”, so this is why they go by visuals, and he said if or my ex had an outbreak I would definitely know. He’s going to put me on antivirals to be on the safe side.

I’m relieved for the most part.

You only have antibodies if you are positive. So either 1. Your doctor is an idiot. 2. You didn’t actually go to a doctor.

The blood tests are 99% accurate. They are as reliable as any other STD test or pregnancy test. You really can’t get more accurate than that. It’s true the blood tests used to be unreliable but they simply aren’t anymore so I’m not sure why this keeps getting mentioned. I don’t understand if you are this worried why you wouldn’t get a blood test. It honestly makes you sound just like him wanting to keep your head in the sand.

You can have a cold sore and test positive for an antibody. This is why majority of the population, if tested would test positive for antibodies. Most people would acquire HSV-1 as a child because close contact with other kids, kisses from family members, etc. Antibodies test for exposure at anytime, which makes it unreliable, again, because most people would test positive for antibodies.

Thank you for explaining this. 20 years ago, I tested positive for antibody when I was in HS and I was so confused because I was still a virgin.

I’ve never had a cold sore in my life. When i tested for the hsv again in college (this time i was sexual), I didn’t have the antibody

Yeah there have been zero medical advances in 20 years so those blood tests are exactly as unreliable as they always were. You guys are absolutely ridiculous. This is exactly why people keep spreading it. Because they simply don’t care enough to find out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have said something earlier in November, but frankly you both should have tested before sex, period. So, that is on you. What's your plan now? Leave him, and have your baby without him. Dear- you are now in the same boat as he is, getting it the same way he got it. So, what's the plan? You will have to tell others, and meanwhile you had this guy who loves you and you have already been exposed. Did you think perhaps you also had it and didn't know, seems like no one has tested.

Interestingly enough, in this day and age, most people have something, HSV, HPV, etc.

There's ways to manage, and you will just manage. You have already been exposed, let your OBGyn know, everything will be ok. This is already old hat. Your behavior now needs some calming down.

She may not have it….

Does not matter. She's been exposed and herpes can rear itself much later, just like this guy. Neither of them were responsible. She owns this as well. But going forward, especially the birth, and any dating, she has to say something. This is what happened to him. He was infected by someone. There is really no bad guy here.

Um no. There is a test for it-and it’s like 99% accurate after 28 days of exposure. So she is not “exposed and needs to tell people” if she doesn’t actually have it. she doesn’t need to tell people she was exposed by some dude for the rest of her life. Being exposed simply means you need to be tested. You think people go around saying “I was exposed to herpes in 1989” The intelligence level here is really disturbing. Herpes isn’t going to randomly show up in 5 years in someone who doesn’t test positive for the virus. That’s not how it works.

You really don’t know what you are talking about. The blood test cannot tell how recently you were infected and herpes can be dormant for a long time. I get like one cold sore every few years.

Yeah but YOU HAVE HERPES. If you go get tested right now even while you don’t have a cold sore your test is going to be POSITIVE. Sorry.

Everyone with a virus does not shed viral loads in continuous and consistent amounts. It varies that’s why having sex with someone who has an STD doesn’t mean you’ll automatically catch it.

Unfortunately when you came in contact with the person you caught it from they were hella shedding and you caught it. Was just bad luck along with the irresponsibility and bam now you’re positive forever.

Op, have you had the flu since you’ve been dating this guy? Any flue like symptoms at all?

The PP poster was not me

But to answer your question…I got sick last year but I always get sick every year.

ATP all you can do is get tested and refrain from having sex with him at least until the baby is here. Flu like symptoms are usually the first sign that you’ve caught any virus. I’m hoping you didn’t catch this and can be rid of this guy.

Just came from seeing my OB. He doesn’t believe I have it because if I haven’t had an outbreak. He said he could do a blood test but blood tests aren’t reliable because if you have antibodies it’ll say “positive”, so this is why they go by visuals, and he said if or my ex had an outbreak I would definitely know. He’s going to put me on antivirals to be on the safe side.

I’m relieved for the most part.

You only have antibodies if you are positive. So either 1. Your doctor is an idiot. 2. You didn’t actually go to a doctor.

The blood tests are 99% accurate. They are as reliable as any other STD test or pregnancy test. You really can’t get more accurate than that. It’s true the blood tests used to be unreliable but they simply aren’t anymore so I’m not sure why this keeps getting mentioned. I don’t understand if you are this worried why you wouldn’t get a blood test. It honestly makes you sound just like him wanting to keep your head in the sand.

You can have a cold sore and test positive for an antibody. This is why majority of the population, if tested would test positive for antibodies. Most people would acquire HSV-1 as a child because close contact with other kids, kisses from family members, etc. Antibodies test for exposure at anytime, which makes it unreliable, again, because most people would test positive for antibodies.

Thank you for explaining this. 20 years ago, I tested positive for antibody when I was in HS and I was so confused because I was still a virgin.

I’ve never had a cold sore in my life. When i tested for the hsv again in college (this time i was sexual), I didn’t have the antibody

Yeah there have been zero medical advances in 20 years so those blood tests are exactly as unreliable as they always were. You guys are absolutely ridiculous. This is exactly why people keep spreading it. Because they simply don’t care enough to find out.

CDC & USPSTF even recommend not testing. Not saying I agree with this but people trust their doctors. If your own doctor the trusted organizations say the same thing, then what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have said something earlier in November, but frankly you both should have tested before sex, period. So, that is on you. What's your plan now? Leave him, and have your baby without him. Dear- you are now in the same boat as he is, getting it the same way he got it. So, what's the plan? You will have to tell others, and meanwhile you had this guy who loves you and you have already been exposed. Did you think perhaps you also had it and didn't know, seems like no one has tested.

Interestingly enough, in this day and age, most people have something, HSV, HPV, etc.

There's ways to manage, and you will just manage. You have already been exposed, let your OBGyn know, everything will be ok. This is already old hat. Your behavior now needs some calming down.

She may not have it….

Does not matter. She's been exposed and herpes can rear itself much later, just like this guy. Neither of them were responsible. She owns this as well. But going forward, especially the birth, and any dating, she has to say something. This is what happened to him. He was infected by someone. There is really no bad guy here.

Um no. There is a test for it-and it’s like 99% accurate after 28 days of exposure. So she is not “exposed and needs to tell people” if she doesn’t actually have it. she doesn’t need to tell people she was exposed by some dude for the rest of her life. Being exposed simply means you need to be tested. You think people go around saying “I was exposed to herpes in 1989” The intelligence level here is really disturbing. Herpes isn’t going to randomly show up in 5 years in someone who doesn’t test positive for the virus. That’s not how it works.

You really don’t know what you are talking about. The blood test cannot tell how recently you were infected and herpes can be dormant for a long time. I get like one cold sore every few years.

Yeah but YOU HAVE HERPES. If you go get tested right now even while you don’t have a cold sore your test is going to be POSITIVE. Sorry.

Everyone with a virus does not shed viral loads in continuous and consistent amounts. It varies that’s why having sex with someone who has an STD doesn’t mean you’ll automatically catch it.

Unfortunately when you came in contact with the person you caught it from they were hella shedding and you caught it. Was just bad luck along with the irresponsibility and bam now you’re positive forever.

Op, have you had the flu since you’ve been dating this guy? Any flue like symptoms at all?

The PP poster was not me

But to answer your question…I got sick last year but I always get sick every year.

ATP all you can do is get tested and refrain from having sex with him at least until the baby is here. Flu like symptoms are usually the first sign that you’ve caught any virus. I’m hoping you didn’t catch this and can be rid of this guy.

Just came from seeing my OB. He doesn’t believe I have it because if I haven’t had an outbreak. He said he could do a blood test but blood tests aren’t reliable because if you have antibodies it’ll say “positive”, so this is why they go by visuals, and he said if or my ex had an outbreak I would definitely know. He’s going to put me on antivirals to be on the safe side.

I’m relieved for the most part.

You only have antibodies if you are positive. So either 1. Your doctor is an idiot. 2. You didn’t actually go to a doctor.

The blood tests are 99% accurate. They are as reliable as any other STD test or pregnancy test. You really can’t get more accurate than that. It’s true the blood tests used to be unreliable but they simply aren’t anymore so I’m not sure why this keeps getting mentioned. I don’t understand if you are this worried why you wouldn’t get a blood test. It honestly makes you sound just like him wanting to keep your head in the sand.

DP. what you don’t understand is that doctors do not routinely test for HSV antibodies (even in pregnant women) because in the absence of clinical signs, the positive test just means you were exposed at one point. The doctor is putting her on antivirals out of an abundance of caution because her partner is positive. So OP’s doctor is saying the same thing her “fiancé’s” doctor told him - that a positive antibody test just means exposure and not much clinically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have said something earlier in November, but frankly you both should have tested before sex, period. So, that is on you. What's your plan now? Leave him, and have your baby without him. Dear- you are now in the same boat as he is, getting it the same way he got it. So, what's the plan? You will have to tell others, and meanwhile you had this guy who loves you and you have already been exposed. Did you think perhaps you also had it and didn't know, seems like no one has tested.

Interestingly enough, in this day and age, most people have something, HSV, HPV, etc.

There's ways to manage, and you will just manage. You have already been exposed, let your OBGyn know, everything will be ok. This is already old hat. Your behavior now needs some calming down.

She may not have it….

Does not matter. She's been exposed and herpes can rear itself much later, just like this guy. Neither of them were responsible. She owns this as well. But going forward, especially the birth, and any dating, she has to say something. This is what happened to him. He was infected by someone. There is really no bad guy here.

Um no. There is a test for it-and it’s like 99% accurate after 28 days of exposure. So she is not “exposed and needs to tell people” if she doesn’t actually have it. she doesn’t need to tell people she was exposed by some dude for the rest of her life. Being exposed simply means you need to be tested. You think people go around saying “I was exposed to herpes in 1989” The intelligence level here is really disturbing. Herpes isn’t going to randomly show up in 5 years in someone who doesn’t test positive for the virus. That’s not how it works.

You really don’t know what you are talking about. The blood test cannot tell how recently you were infected and herpes can be dormant for a long time. I get like one cold sore every few years.

Yeah but YOU HAVE HERPES. If you go get tested right now even while you don’t have a cold sore your test is going to be POSITIVE. Sorry.

Everyone with a virus does not shed viral loads in continuous and consistent amounts. It varies that’s why having sex with someone who has an STD doesn’t mean you’ll automatically catch it.

Unfortunately when you came in contact with the person you caught it from they were hella shedding and you caught it. Was just bad luck along with the irresponsibility and bam now you’re positive forever.

Op, have you had the flu since you’ve been dating this guy? Any flue like symptoms at all?

The PP poster was not me

But to answer your question…I got sick last year but I always get sick every year.

ATP all you can do is get tested and refrain from having sex with him at least until the baby is here. Flu like symptoms are usually the first sign that you’ve caught any virus. I’m hoping you didn’t catch this and can be rid of this guy.

Just came from seeing my OB. He doesn’t believe I have it because if I haven’t had an outbreak. He said he could do a blood test but blood tests aren’t reliable because if you have antibodies it’ll say “positive”, so this is why they go by visuals, and he said if or my ex had an outbreak I would definitely know. He’s going to put me on antivirals to be on the safe side.

I’m relieved for the most part.

You only have antibodies if you are positive. So either 1. Your doctor is an idiot. 2. You didn’t actually go to a doctor.

The blood tests are 99% accurate. They are as reliable as any other STD test or pregnancy test. You really can’t get more accurate than that. It’s true the blood tests used to be unreliable but they simply aren’t anymore so I’m not sure why this keeps getting mentioned. I don’t understand if you are this worried why you wouldn’t get a blood test. It honestly makes you sound just like him wanting to keep your head in the sand.

DP. what you don’t understand is that doctors do not routinely test for HSV antibodies (even in pregnant women) because in the absence of clinical signs, the positive test just means you were exposed at one point. The doctor is putting her on antivirals out of an abundance of caution because her partner is positive. So OP’s doctor is saying the same thing her “fiancé’s” doctor told him - that a positive antibody test just means exposure and not much clinically.

Interesting…so let me know how you feel about this when someone you are dating gives you genital herpes and then just tells you they “were exposed but not positive”. I’m sure you will be totally fine with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have said something earlier in November, but frankly you both should have tested before sex, period. So, that is on you. What's your plan now? Leave him, and have your baby without him. Dear- you are now in the same boat as he is, getting it the same way he got it. So, what's the plan? You will have to tell others, and meanwhile you had this guy who loves you and you have already been exposed. Did you think perhaps you also had it and didn't know, seems like no one has tested.

Interestingly enough, in this day and age, most people have something, HSV, HPV, etc.

There's ways to manage, and you will just manage. You have already been exposed, let your OBGyn know, everything will be ok. This is already old hat. Your behavior now needs some calming down.

She may not have it….

Does not matter. She's been exposed and herpes can rear itself much later, just like this guy. Neither of them were responsible. She owns this as well. But going forward, especially the birth, and any dating, she has to say something. This is what happened to him. He was infected by someone. There is really no bad guy here.

Um no. There is a test for it-and it’s like 99% accurate after 28 days of exposure. So she is not “exposed and needs to tell people” if she doesn’t actually have it. she doesn’t need to tell people she was exposed by some dude for the rest of her life. Being exposed simply means you need to be tested. You think people go around saying “I was exposed to herpes in 1989” The intelligence level here is really disturbing. Herpes isn’t going to randomly show up in 5 years in someone who doesn’t test positive for the virus. That’s not how it works.

You really don’t know what you are talking about. The blood test cannot tell how recently you were infected and herpes can be dormant for a long time. I get like one cold sore every few years.

Yeah but YOU HAVE HERPES. If you go get tested right now even while you don’t have a cold sore your test is going to be POSITIVE. Sorry.

Everyone with a virus does not shed viral loads in continuous and consistent amounts. It varies that’s why having sex with someone who has an STD doesn’t mean you’ll automatically catch it.

Unfortunately when you came in contact with the person you caught it from they were hella shedding and you caught it. Was just bad luck along with the irresponsibility and bam now you’re positive forever.

Op, have you had the flu since you’ve been dating this guy? Any flue like symptoms at all?

The PP poster was not me

But to answer your question…I got sick last year but I always get sick every year.

ATP all you can do is get tested and refrain from having sex with him at least until the baby is here. Flu like symptoms are usually the first sign that you’ve caught any virus. I’m hoping you didn’t catch this and can be rid of this guy.

Just came from seeing my OB. He doesn’t believe I have it because if I haven’t had an outbreak. He said he could do a blood test but blood tests aren’t reliable because if you have antibodies it’ll say “positive”, so this is why they go by visuals, and he said if or my ex had an outbreak I would definitely know. He’s going to put me on antivirals to be on the safe side.

I’m relieved for the most part.

You only have antibodies if you are positive. So either 1. Your doctor is an idiot. 2. You didn’t actually go to a doctor.

The blood tests are 99% accurate. They are as reliable as any other STD test or pregnancy test. You really can’t get more accurate than that. It’s true the blood tests used to be unreliable but they simply aren’t anymore so I’m not sure why this keeps getting mentioned. I don’t understand if you are this worried why you wouldn’t get a blood test. It honestly makes you sound just like him wanting to keep your head in the sand.

DP. what you don’t understand is that doctors do not routinely test for HSV antibodies (even in pregnant women) because in the absence of clinical signs, the positive test just means you were exposed at one point. The doctor is putting her on antivirals out of an abundance of caution because her partner is positive. So OP’s doctor is saying the same thing her “fiancé’s” doctor told him - that a positive antibody test just means exposure and not much clinically.

Interesting…so let me know how you feel about this when someone you are dating gives you genital herpes and then just tells you they “were exposed but not positive”. I’m sure you will be totally fine with that.

All I’m telling you is the standard of care which is that doctors do not recommend testing for HSV in the absence of symptoms, and a positive test in the absence of symptoms is not seen as clinically important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have said something earlier in November, but frankly you both should have tested before sex, period. So, that is on you. What's your plan now? Leave him, and have your baby without him. Dear- you are now in the same boat as he is, getting it the same way he got it. So, what's the plan? You will have to tell others, and meanwhile you had this guy who loves you and you have already been exposed. Did you think perhaps you also had it and didn't know, seems like no one has tested.

Interestingly enough, in this day and age, most people have something, HSV, HPV, etc.

There's ways to manage, and you will just manage. You have already been exposed, let your OBGyn know, everything will be ok. This is already old hat. Your behavior now needs some calming down.

She may not have it….

Does not matter. She's been exposed and herpes can rear itself much later, just like this guy. Neither of them were responsible. She owns this as well. But going forward, especially the birth, and any dating, she has to say something. This is what happened to him. He was infected by someone. There is really no bad guy here.

Um no. There is a test for it-and it’s like 99% accurate after 28 days of exposure. So she is not “exposed and needs to tell people” if she doesn’t actually have it. she doesn’t need to tell people she was exposed by some dude for the rest of her life. Being exposed simply means you need to be tested. You think people go around saying “I was exposed to herpes in 1989” The intelligence level here is really disturbing. Herpes isn’t going to randomly show up in 5 years in someone who doesn’t test positive for the virus. That’s not how it works.

You really don’t know what you are talking about. The blood test cannot tell how recently you were infected and herpes can be dormant for a long time. I get like one cold sore every few years.

Yeah but YOU HAVE HERPES. If you go get tested right now even while you don’t have a cold sore your test is going to be POSITIVE. Sorry.

Everyone with a virus does not shed viral loads in continuous and consistent amounts. It varies that’s why having sex with someone who has an STD doesn’t mean you’ll automatically catch it.

Unfortunately when you came in contact with the person you caught it from they were hella shedding and you caught it. Was just bad luck along with the irresponsibility and bam now you’re positive forever.

Op, have you had the flu since you’ve been dating this guy? Any flue like symptoms at all?

The PP poster was not me

But to answer your question…I got sick last year but I always get sick every year.

ATP all you can do is get tested and refrain from having sex with him at least until the baby is here. Flu like symptoms are usually the first sign that you’ve caught any virus. I’m hoping you didn’t catch this and can be rid of this guy.

Just came from seeing my OB. He doesn’t believe I have it because if I haven’t had an outbreak. He said he could do a blood test but blood tests aren’t reliable because if you have antibodies it’ll say “positive”, so this is why they go by visuals, and he said if or my ex had an outbreak I would definitely know. He’s going to put me on antivirals to be on the safe side.

I’m relieved for the most part.

You only have antibodies if you are positive. So either 1. Your doctor is an idiot. 2. You didn’t actually go to a doctor.

The blood tests are 99% accurate. They are as reliable as any other STD test or pregnancy test. You really can’t get more accurate than that. It’s true the blood tests used to be unreliable but they simply aren’t anymore so I’m not sure why this keeps getting mentioned. I don’t understand if you are this worried why you wouldn’t get a blood test. It honestly makes you sound just like him wanting to keep your head in the sand.

DP. what you don’t understand is that doctors do not routinely test for HSV antibodies (even in pregnant women) because in the absence of clinical signs, the positive test just means you were exposed at one point. The doctor is putting her on antivirals out of an abundance of caution because her partner is positive. So OP’s doctor is saying the same thing her “fiancé’s” doctor told him - that a positive antibody test just means exposure and not much clinically.

Interesting…so let me know how you feel about this when someone you are dating gives you genital herpes and then just tells you they “were exposed but not positive”. I’m sure you will be totally fine with that.

All I’m telling you is the standard of care which is that doctors do not recommend testing for HSV in the absence of symptoms, and a positive test in the absence of symptoms is not seen as clinically important.

Sure. I would never sleep with someone who had a positive result for HSV-2 regardless of it being “clinically important” or not but to each their own I guess.

[Anonymous]

Do the antibodies say if it’s 1 or 2?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do the antibodies say if it’s 1 or 2?

HSV tests are type specific so yes.

[Anonymous]

For HSV having a positive antibody test means you have the antibodies for the virus in your blood. Which means you have it. It means the virus is in your blood. Could be dormant, you could have zero outbreaks, one outbreak or outbreaks all the time. It means you have the virus and can spread it to others. If you test positive for the antibody test you will always test positive for it-because it’s permanent. It’s totally fine if some of you are comfortable with that but it doesn’t change the fact that the person has it. Maybe they will never have an outbreak and will never spread it but honestly there is no way to know that. Someone can have it dormant for years and then have an outbreak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For HSV having a positive antibody test means you have the antibodies for the virus in your blood. Which means you have it. It means the virus is in your blood. Could be dormant, you could have zero outbreaks, one outbreak or outbreaks all the time. It means you have the virus and can spread it to others. If you test positive for the antibody test you will always test positive for it-because it’s permanent. It’s totally fine if some of you are comfortable with that but it doesn’t change the fact that the person has it. Maybe they will never have an outbreak and will never spread it but honestly there is no way to know that. Someone can have it dormant for years and then have an outbreak.

But that’s not true

Thank you for explaining this. 20 years ago, I tested positive for antibody when I was in HS and I was so confused because I was still a virgin.

I’ve never had a cold sore in my life. When i tested for the hsv again in college (this time i was sexual), I didn’t have the antibody

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For HSV having a positive antibody test means you have the antibodies for the virus in your blood. Which means you have it. It means the virus is in your blood. Could be dormant, you could have zero outbreaks, one outbreak or outbreaks all the time. It means you have the virus and can spread it to others. If you test positive for the antibody test you will always test positive for it-because it’s permanent. It’s totally fine if some of you are comfortable with that but it doesn’t change the fact that the person has it. Maybe they will never have an outbreak and will never spread it but honestly there is no way to know that. Someone can have it dormant for years and then have an outbreak.

But that’s not true

Thank you for explaining this. 20 years ago, I tested positive for antibody when I was in HS and I was so confused because I was still a virgin.

I’ve never had a cold sore in my life. When i tested for the hsv again in college (this time i was sexual), I didn’t have the antibody

The tests were total crap 20 years ago. you can’t be serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For HSV having a positive antibody test means you have the antibodies for the virus in your blood. Which means you have it. It means the virus is in your blood. Could be dormant, you could have zero outbreaks, one outbreak or outbreaks all the time. It means you have the virus and can spread it to others. If you test positive for the antibody test you will always test positive for it-because it’s permanent. It’s totally fine if some of you are comfortable with that but it doesn’t change the fact that the person has it. Maybe they will never have an outbreak and will never spread it but honestly there is no way to know that. Someone can have it dormant for years and then have an outbreak.

But that’s not true

Thank you for explaining this. 20 years ago, I tested positive for antibody when I was in HS and I was so confused because I was still a virgin.

I’ve never had a cold sore in my life. When i tested for the hsv again in college (this time i was sexual), I didn’t have the antibody

Most people get HSV-1 during childhood so it wouldn’t be weird at all for you to test positive for it in high school. People get it from being kissed by parents/family members. That being said false negatives/false positives were definitely a thing with the tests 20 years ago so it also was probably just a false positive.

Also they for sure test pregnant women for HSV-2 but only if you tell them you have it/Have possibly been exposed. They asked me about it in all 3 of my pregnancies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For HSV having a positive antibody test means you have the antibodies for the virus in your blood. Which means you have it. It means the virus is in your blood. Could be dormant, you could have zero outbreaks, one outbreak or outbreaks all the time. It means you have the virus and can spread it to others. If you test positive for the antibody test you will always test positive for it-because it’s permanent. It’s totally fine if some of you are comfortable with that but it doesn’t change the fact that the person has it. Maybe they will never have an outbreak and will never spread it but honestly there is no way to know that. Someone can have it dormant for years and then have an outbreak.

But that’s not true

Thank you for explaining this. 20 years ago, I tested positive for antibody when I was in HS and I was so confused because I was still a virgin.

I’ve never had a cold sore in my life. When i tested for the hsv again in college (this time i was sexual), I didn’t have the antibody

Most people get HSV-1 during childhood so it wouldn’t be weird at all for you to test positive for it in high school. People get it from being kissed by parents/family members. That being said false negatives/false positives were definitely a thing with the tests 20 years ago so it also was probably just a false positive.

Also they for sure test pregnant women for HSV-2 but only if you tell them you have it/Have possibly been exposed. They asked me about it in all 3 of my pregnancies.

They clearly don’t. If you’re not showing any signs of an outbreak. You can request but they don’t “for sure test”.