I’m 20w pregnant. My fiance told me he has herpes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have said something earlier in November, but frankly you both should have tested before sex, period. So, that is on you. What's your plan now? Leave him, and have your baby without him. Dear- you are now in the same boat as he is, getting it the same way he got it. So, what's the plan? You will have to tell others, and meanwhile you had this guy who loves you and you have already been exposed. Did you think perhaps you also had it and didn't know, seems like no one has tested.

Interestingly enough, in this day and age, most people have something, HSV, HPV, etc.

There's ways to manage, and you will just manage. You have already been exposed, let your OBGyn know, everything will be ok. This is already old hat. Your behavior now needs some calming down.

She may not have it….

Does not matter. She's been exposed and herpes can rear itself much later, just like this guy. Neither of them were responsible. She owns this as well. But going forward, especially the birth, and any dating, she has to say something. This is what happened to him. He was infected by someone. There is really no bad guy here.

Um no. There is a test for it-and it’s like 99% accurate after 28 days of exposure. So she is not “exposed and needs to tell people” if she doesn’t actually have it. she doesn’t need to tell people she was exposed by some dude for the rest of her life. Being exposed simply means you need to be tested. You think people go around saying “I was exposed to herpes in 1989” The intelligence level here is really disturbing. Herpes isn’t going to randomly show up in 5 years in someone who doesn’t test positive for the virus. That’s not how it works.

You really don’t know what you are talking about. The blood test cannot tell how recently you were infected and herpes can be dormant for a long time. I get like one cold sore every few years.

Yeah but YOU HAVE HERPES. If you go get tested right now even while you don’t have a cold sore your test is going to be POSITIVE. Sorry.

Everyone with a virus does not shed viral loads in continuous and consistent amounts. It varies that’s why having sex with someone who has an STD doesn’t mean you’ll automatically catch it.

Unfortunately when you came in contact with the person you caught it from they were hella shedding and you caught it. Was just bad luck along with the irresponsibility and bam now you’re positive forever.

Op, have you had the flu since you’ve been dating this guy? Any flue like symptoms at all?

The PP poster was not me

But to answer your question…I got sick last year but I always get sick every year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have said something earlier in November, but frankly you both should have tested before sex, period. So, that is on you. What's your plan now? Leave him, and have your baby without him. Dear- you are now in the same boat as he is, getting it the same way he got it. So, what's the plan? You will have to tell others, and meanwhile you had this guy who loves you and you have already been exposed. Did you think perhaps you also had it and didn't know, seems like no one has tested.

Interestingly enough, in this day and age, most people have something, HSV, HPV, etc.

There's ways to manage, and you will just manage. You have already been exposed, let your OBGyn know, everything will be ok. This is already old hat. Your behavior now needs some calming down.

She may not have it….

Does not matter. She's been exposed and herpes can rear itself much later, just like this guy. Neither of them were responsible. She owns this as well. But going forward, especially the birth, and any dating, she has to say something. This is what happened to him. He was infected by someone. There is really no bad guy here.

What??

The dude that knew he had a sexually transmitted disease, did not disclose, did not wear protection, got someone pregnant and then mentioned it 20 months later is 100%, no question, absolutely the bad guy.

Jesus Christ what is wrong with you. Get off the internet you brain dead walnut.

*weeks. Op is not an elephant. She’s only 20 weeks pregnant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have said something earlier in November, but frankly you both should have tested before sex, period. So, that is on you. What's your plan now? Leave him, and have your baby without him. Dear- you are now in the same boat as he is, getting it the same way he got it. So, what's the plan? You will have to tell others, and meanwhile you had this guy who loves you and you have already been exposed. Did you think perhaps you also had it and didn't know, seems like no one has tested.

Interestingly enough, in this day and age, most people have something, HSV, HPV, etc.

There's ways to manage, and you will just manage. You have already been exposed, let your OBGyn know, everything will be ok. This is already old hat. Your behavior now needs some calming down.

She may not have it….

Does not matter. She's been exposed and herpes can rear itself much later, just like this guy. Neither of them were responsible. She owns this as well. But going forward, especially the birth, and any dating, she has to say something. This is what happened to him. He was infected by someone. There is really no bad guy here.

Um no. There is a test for it-and it’s like 99% accurate after 28 days of exposure. So she is not “exposed and needs to tell people” if she doesn’t actually have it. she doesn’t need to tell people she was exposed by some dude for the rest of her life. Being exposed simply means you need to be tested. You think people go around saying “I was exposed to herpes in 1989” The intelligence level here is really disturbing. Herpes isn’t going to randomly show up in 5 years in someone who doesn’t test positive for the virus. That’s not how it works.

You really don’t know what you are talking about. The blood test cannot tell how recently you were infected and herpes can be dormant for a long time. I get like one cold sore every few years.

Yeah but YOU HAVE HERPES. If you go get tested right now even while you don’t have a cold sore your test is going to be POSITIVE. Sorry.

Everyone with a virus does not shed viral loads in continuous and consistent amounts. It varies that’s why having sex with someone who has an STD doesn’t mean you’ll automatically catch it.

Unfortunately when you came in contact with the person you caught it from they were hella shedding and you caught it. Was just bad luck along with the irresponsibility and bam now you’re positive forever.

Op, have you had the flu since you’ve been dating this guy? Any flue like symptoms at all?

The PP poster was not me

But to answer your question…I got sick last year but I always get sick every year.

ATP all you can do is get tested and refrain from having sex with him at least until the baby is here. Flu like symptoms are usually the first sign that you’ve caught any virus. I’m hoping you didn’t catch this and can be rid of this guy.

[Anonymous]

I’m glad you are seeing your doctor soon OP-But I just wanted to ease your mind a little bit. I had an exposure scare several years ago and went to see my doctor 2 weeks later. She explained to me that with genital Herpes almost all cases where someone gets it-they start showing symptoms immediately-Like next day and almost always within 3 days. She said in almost all cases if nothing happens right away you are probably ok but to wait a month after exposure to get a blood test to make sure, which I did and I was fine. Of course you will always hear stories of outliers but realistically she said this is primarily how it goes.

[Anonymous]

It's common. Women have herpes and have babies all the time. Your doctor will know what to do.
As for your relationship with the dad, that is another very serious issue. Don't know what to tell you.

[Anonymous]

There are married couples for a very long time where one partner has herpes and the other never gets it. You all are assuming she automatically has it because he does. That’s just not how it works. Most people who have either form (cold sores or genital) know when they are about to have an outbreak and take precautions before and until it’s healed. Sounds like this guy had his initial outbreak way before you were together (sure what he said to you is that he never had any symptoms but based on everything else we know so far i’m going to go with that being a lie as well). it’s likely that if he never had any kind of outbreak while with you that you are probably fine.

That being said there is no way I would be able to continue a relationship with someone who lied to me about something like this so that would be the end for me-but i’m not sure why others and the OP are just defaulting to she absolutely has it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have said something earlier in November, but frankly you both should have tested before sex, period. So, that is on you. What's your plan now? Leave him, and have your baby without him. Dear- you are now in the same boat as he is, getting it the same way he got it. So, what's the plan? You will have to tell others, and meanwhile you had this guy who loves you and you have already been exposed. Did you think perhaps you also had it and didn't know, seems like no one has tested.

Interestingly enough, in this day and age, most people have something, HSV, HPV, etc.

There's ways to manage, and you will just manage. You have already been exposed, let your OBGyn know, everything will be ok. This is already old hat. Your behavior now needs some calming down.

She may not have it….

Does not matter. She's been exposed and herpes can rear itself much later, just like this guy. Neither of them were responsible. She owns this as well. But going forward, especially the birth, and any dating, she has to say something. This is what happened to him. He was infected by someone. There is really no bad guy here.

Um no. There is a test for it-and it’s like 99% accurate after 28 days of exposure. So she is not “exposed and needs to tell people” if she doesn’t actually have it. she doesn’t need to tell people she was exposed by some dude for the rest of her life. Being exposed simply means you need to be tested. You think people go around saying “I was exposed to herpes in 1989” The intelligence level here is really disturbing. Herpes isn’t going to randomly show up in 5 years in someone who doesn’t test positive for the virus. That’s not how it works.

You really don’t know what you are talking about. The blood test cannot tell how recently you were infected and herpes can be dormant for a long time. I get like one cold sore every few years.

Yeah but YOU HAVE HERPES. If you go get tested right now even while you don’t have a cold sore your test is going to be POSITIVE. Sorry.

Everyone with a virus does not shed viral loads in continuous and consistent amounts. It varies that’s why having sex with someone who has an STD doesn’t mean you’ll automatically catch it.

Unfortunately when you came in contact with the person you caught it from they were hella shedding and you caught it. Was just bad luck along with the irresponsibility and bam now you’re positive forever.

Op, have you had the flu since you’ve been dating this guy? Any flue like symptoms at all?

The PP poster was not me

But to answer your question…I got sick last year but I always get sick every year.

ATP all you can do is get tested and refrain from having sex with him at least until the baby is here. Flu like symptoms are usually the first sign that you’ve caught any virus. I’m hoping you didn’t catch this and can be rid of this guy.

Just came from seeing my OB. He doesn’t believe I have it because if I haven’t had an outbreak. He said he could do a blood test but blood tests aren’t reliable because if you have antibodies it’ll say “positive”, so this is why they go by visuals, and he said if or my ex had an outbreak I would definitely know. He’s going to put me on antivirals to be on the safe side.

I’m relieved for the most part.

[Anonymous]

If your fiance should happen to find this post, here is the take away: Don't walk, RUN!

“But thus I counsel you, my friends: Mistrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful. They are people of a low sort and stock; the hangmen and the bloodhound look out of their faces. Mistrust all who talk much of their justice! Verily, their souls lack more than honey. And when they call themselves the good and the just, do not forget that they would be pharisees, if only they had—power.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have said something earlier in November, but frankly you both should have tested before sex, period. So, that is on you. What's your plan now? Leave him, and have your baby without him. Dear- you are now in the same boat as he is, getting it the same way he got it. So, what's the plan? You will have to tell others, and meanwhile you had this guy who loves you and you have already been exposed. Did you think perhaps you also had it and didn't know, seems like no one has tested.

Interestingly enough, in this day and age, most people have something, HSV, HPV, etc.

There's ways to manage, and you will just manage. You have already been exposed, let your OBGyn know, everything will be ok. This is already old hat. Your behavior now needs some calming down.

She may not have it….

Does not matter. She's been exposed and herpes can rear itself much later, just like this guy. Neither of them were responsible. She owns this as well. But going forward, especially the birth, and any dating, she has to say something. This is what happened to him. He was infected by someone. There is really no bad guy here.

Um no. There is a test for it-and it’s like 99% accurate after 28 days of exposure. So she is not “exposed and needs to tell people” if she doesn’t actually have it. she doesn’t need to tell people she was exposed by some dude for the rest of her life. Being exposed simply means you need to be tested. You think people go around saying “I was exposed to herpes in 1989” The intelligence level here is really disturbing. Herpes isn’t going to randomly show up in 5 years in someone who doesn’t test positive for the virus. That’s not how it works.

You really don’t know what you are talking about. The blood test cannot tell how recently you were infected and herpes can be dormant for a long time. I get like one cold sore every few years.

Yeah but YOU HAVE HERPES. If you go get tested right now even while you don’t have a cold sore your test is going to be POSITIVE. Sorry.

Everyone with a virus does not shed viral loads in continuous and consistent amounts. It varies that’s why having sex with someone who has an STD doesn’t mean you’ll automatically catch it.

Unfortunately when you came in contact with the person you caught it from they were hella shedding and you caught it. Was just bad luck along with the irresponsibility and bam now you’re positive forever.

Op, have you had the flu since you’ve been dating this guy? Any flue like symptoms at all?

The PP poster was not me

But to answer your question…I got sick last year but I always get sick every year.

ATP all you can do is get tested and refrain from having sex with him at least until the baby is here. Flu like symptoms are usually the first sign that you’ve caught any virus. I’m hoping you didn’t catch this and can be rid of this guy.

Just came from seeing my OB. He doesn’t believe I have it because if I haven’t had an outbreak. He said he could do a blood test but blood tests aren’t reliable because if you have antibodies it’ll say “positive”, so this is why they go by visuals, and he said if or my ex had an outbreak I would definitely know. He’s going to put me on antivirals to be on the safe side.

I’m relieved for the most part.

You only have antibodies if you are positive. So either 1. Your doctor is an idiot. 2. You didn’t actually go to a doctor.

The blood tests are 99% accurate. They are as reliable as any other STD test or pregnancy test. You really can’t get more accurate than that. It’s true the blood tests used to be unreliable but they simply aren’t anymore so I’m not sure why this keeps getting mentioned. I don’t understand if you are this worried why you wouldn’t get a blood test. It honestly makes you sound just like him wanting to keep your head in the sand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have said something earlier in November, but frankly you both should have tested before sex, period. So, that is on you. What's your plan now? Leave him, and have your baby without him. Dear- you are now in the same boat as he is, getting it the same way he got it. So, what's the plan? You will have to tell others, and meanwhile you had this guy who loves you and you have already been exposed. Did you think perhaps you also had it and didn't know, seems like no one has tested.

Interestingly enough, in this day and age, most people have something, HSV, HPV, etc.

There's ways to manage, and you will just manage. You have already been exposed, let your OBGyn know, everything will be ok. This is already old hat. Your behavior now needs some calming down.

She may not have it….

Does not matter. She's been exposed and herpes can rear itself much later, just like this guy. Neither of them were responsible. She owns this as well. But going forward, especially the birth, and any dating, she has to say something. This is what happened to him. He was infected by someone. There is really no bad guy here.

Um no. There is a test for it-and it’s like 99% accurate after 28 days of exposure. So she is not “exposed and needs to tell people” if she doesn’t actually have it. she doesn’t need to tell people she was exposed by some dude for the rest of her life. Being exposed simply means you need to be tested. You think people go around saying “I was exposed to herpes in 1989” The intelligence level here is really disturbing. Herpes isn’t going to randomly show up in 5 years in someone who doesn’t test positive for the virus. That’s not how it works.

You really don’t know what you are talking about. The blood test cannot tell how recently you were infected and herpes can be dormant for a long time. I get like one cold sore every few years.

Yeah but YOU HAVE HERPES. If you go get tested right now even while you don’t have a cold sore your test is going to be POSITIVE. Sorry.

Everyone with a virus does not shed viral loads in continuous and consistent amounts. It varies that’s why having sex with someone who has an STD doesn’t mean you’ll automatically catch it.

Unfortunately when you came in contact with the person you caught it from they were hella shedding and you caught it. Was just bad luck along with the irresponsibility and bam now you’re positive forever.

Op, have you had the flu since you’ve been dating this guy? Any flue like symptoms at all?

The PP poster was not me

But to answer your question…I got sick last year but I always get sick every year.

ATP all you can do is get tested and refrain from having sex with him at least until the baby is here. Flu like symptoms are usually the first sign that you’ve caught any virus. I’m hoping you didn’t catch this and can be rid of this guy.

Just came from seeing my OB. He doesn’t believe I have it because if I haven’t had an outbreak. He said he could do a blood test but blood tests aren’t reliable because if you have antibodies it’ll say “positive”, so this is why they go by visuals, and he said if or my ex had an outbreak I would definitely know. He’s going to put me on antivirals to be on the safe side.

I’m relieved for the most part.

You only have antibodies if you are positive. So either 1. Your doctor is an idiot. 2. You didn’t actually go to a doctor.

The blood tests are 99% accurate. They are as reliable as any other STD test or pregnancy test. You really can’t get more accurate than that. It’s true the blood tests used to be unreliable but they simply aren’t anymore so I’m not sure why this keeps getting mentioned. I don’t understand if you are this worried why you wouldn’t get a blood test. It honestly makes you sound just like him wanting to keep your head in the sand.

He’s going to put me on antibodies a few weeks before I give birth to be on the safe side. He asked for ex to come in with his paperwork to better assess.

Because the blood test is unreliable and I’m going based off what the doctor said, not my feelings? The blood tests aren’t 99% reliable for detection of the virus apparently. I like you, thought the same thing going into my appointment today.

“ 6
Herpes IgG Test: Purpose and What Results Mean
Herpes blood tests (IgG) are highly accurate for detecting HSV-2 (generally 95-99% sensitive), but they are less reliable for HSV-1 due to high population exposure. The tests detect antibodies, not the virus itself, often requiring 4–12 weeks post-exposure for accurate results. False positives can occur, especially with low-level HSV-2 results.”

So, just like my doctor said I can test positive for antibodies which doesn’t mean I have it. He will see me again in 2 weeks with my ex’s paperwork.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have said something earlier in November, but frankly you both should have tested before sex, period. So, that is on you. What's your plan now? Leave him, and have your baby without him. Dear- you are now in the same boat as he is, getting it the same way he got it. So, what's the plan? You will have to tell others, and meanwhile you had this guy who loves you and you have already been exposed. Did you think perhaps you also had it and didn't know, seems like no one has tested.

Interestingly enough, in this day and age, most people have something, HSV, HPV, etc.

There's ways to manage, and you will just manage. You have already been exposed, let your OBGyn know, everything will be ok. This is already old hat. Your behavior now needs some calming down.

She may not have it….

Does not matter. She's been exposed and herpes can rear itself much later, just like this guy. Neither of them were responsible. She owns this as well. But going forward, especially the birth, and any dating, she has to say something. This is what happened to him. He was infected by someone. There is really no bad guy here.

Um no. There is a test for it-and it’s like 99% accurate after 28 days of exposure. So she is not “exposed and needs to tell people” if she doesn’t actually have it. she doesn’t need to tell people she was exposed by some dude for the rest of her life. Being exposed simply means you need to be tested. You think people go around saying “I was exposed to herpes in 1989” The intelligence level here is really disturbing. Herpes isn’t going to randomly show up in 5 years in someone who doesn’t test positive for the virus. That’s not how it works.

You really don’t know what you are talking about. The blood test cannot tell how recently you were infected and herpes can be dormant for a long time. I get like one cold sore every few years.

Yeah but YOU HAVE HERPES. If you go get tested right now even while you don’t have a cold sore your test is going to be POSITIVE. Sorry.

Everyone with a virus does not shed viral loads in continuous and consistent amounts. It varies that’s why having sex with someone who has an STD doesn’t mean you’ll automatically catch it.

Unfortunately when you came in contact with the person you caught it from they were hella shedding and you caught it. Was just bad luck along with the irresponsibility and bam now you’re positive forever.

Op, have you had the flu since you’ve been dating this guy? Any flue like symptoms at all?

The PP poster was not me

But to answer your question…I got sick last year but I always get sick every year.

ATP all you can do is get tested and refrain from having sex with him at least until the baby is here. Flu like symptoms are usually the first sign that you’ve caught any virus. I’m hoping you didn’t catch this and can be rid of this guy.

Just came from seeing my OB. He doesn’t believe I have it because if I haven’t had an outbreak. He said he could do a blood test but blood tests aren’t reliable because if you have antibodies it’ll say “positive”, so this is why they go by visuals, and he said if or my ex had an outbreak I would definitely know. He’s going to put me on antivirals to be on the safe side.

I’m relieved for the most part.

So basically your OB confirmed what your boyfriend said about testing … that doctors don’t consider a positive antibody test to be clinically relevant in the absence of an outbreak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have said something earlier in November, but frankly you both should have tested before sex, period. So, that is on you. What's your plan now? Leave him, and have your baby without him. Dear- you are now in the same boat as he is, getting it the same way he got it. So, what's the plan? You will have to tell others, and meanwhile you had this guy who loves you and you have already been exposed. Did you think perhaps you also had it and didn't know, seems like no one has tested.

Interestingly enough, in this day and age, most people have something, HSV, HPV, etc.

There's ways to manage, and you will just manage. You have already been exposed, let your OBGyn know, everything will be ok. This is already old hat. Your behavior now needs some calming down.

She may not have it….

Does not matter. She's been exposed and herpes can rear itself much later, just like this guy. Neither of them were responsible. She owns this as well. But going forward, especially the birth, and any dating, she has to say something. This is what happened to him. He was infected by someone. There is really no bad guy here.

Um no. There is a test for it-and it’s like 99% accurate after 28 days of exposure. So she is not “exposed and needs to tell people” if she doesn’t actually have it. she doesn’t need to tell people she was exposed by some dude for the rest of her life. Being exposed simply means you need to be tested. You think people go around saying “I was exposed to herpes in 1989” The intelligence level here is really disturbing. Herpes isn’t going to randomly show up in 5 years in someone who doesn’t test positive for the virus. That’s not how it works.

You really don’t know what you are talking about. The blood test cannot tell how recently you were infected and herpes can be dormant for a long time. I get like one cold sore every few years.

Yeah but YOU HAVE HERPES. If you go get tested right now even while you don’t have a cold sore your test is going to be POSITIVE. Sorry.

Everyone with a virus does not shed viral loads in continuous and consistent amounts. It varies that’s why having sex with someone who has an STD doesn’t mean you’ll automatically catch it.

Unfortunately when you came in contact with the person you caught it from they were hella shedding and you caught it. Was just bad luck along with the irresponsibility and bam now you’re positive forever.

Op, have you had the flu since you’ve been dating this guy? Any flue like symptoms at all?

The PP poster was not me

But to answer your question…I got sick last year but I always get sick every year.

ATP all you can do is get tested and refrain from having sex with him at least until the baby is here. Flu like symptoms are usually the first sign that you’ve caught any virus. I’m hoping you didn’t catch this and can be rid of this guy.

Just came from seeing my OB. He doesn’t believe I have it because if I haven’t had an outbreak. He said he could do a blood test but blood tests aren’t reliable because if you have antibodies it’ll say “positive”, so this is why they go by visuals, and he said if or my ex had an outbreak I would definitely know. He’s going to put me on antivirals to be on the safe side.

I’m relieved for the most part.

You only have antibodies if you are positive. So either 1. Your doctor is an idiot. 2. You didn’t actually go to a doctor.

The blood tests are 99% accurate. They are as reliable as any other STD test or pregnancy test. You really can’t get more accurate than that. It’s true the blood tests used to be unreliable but they simply aren’t anymore so I’m not sure why this keeps getting mentioned. I don’t understand if you are this worried why you wouldn’t get a blood test. It honestly makes you sound just like him wanting to keep your head in the sand.

He’s going to put me on antibodies a few weeks before I give birth to be on the safe side. He asked for ex to come in with his paperwork to better assess.

Because the blood test is unreliable and I’m going based off what the doctor said, not my feelings? The blood tests aren’t 99% reliable for detection of the virus apparently. I like you, thought the same thing going into my appointment today.

“ 6
Herpes IgG Test: Purpose and What Results Mean
Herpes blood tests (IgG) are highly accurate for detecting HSV-2 (generally 95-99% sensitive), but they are less reliable for HSV-1 due to high population exposure. The tests detect antibodies, not the virus itself, often requiring 4–12 weeks post-exposure for accurate results. False positives can occur, especially with low-level HSV-2 results.”

So, just like my doctor said I can test positive for antibodies which doesn’t mean I have it. He will see me again in 2 weeks with my ex’s paperwork.

95-99% sensitive and that’s not enough for you? You clearly don’t want to know. False positives can occur with anything. But 95-99% is accounting for them. Just get the blood test yourself. you don’t need your doctor to order it. Or don’t, and just keep wondering and worrying.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, boyfriend needs to pull the reserve chute on this one. Who needs the BS that OP is bringing? Boyfriend will never be able to be sorry enough and OP has all arguments won for life. Argue about money? "Yeah, but the herpes." Argue about sex? "Yeah, but the herpes." Argue about raising kids? "Yeah, but the herpes."

Save yourself boyfriend. She's gonna pancake whoever is unlucky enough to end up with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have said something earlier in November, but frankly you both should have tested before sex, period. So, that is on you. What's your plan now? Leave him, and have your baby without him. Dear- you are now in the same boat as he is, getting it the same way he got it. So, what's the plan? You will have to tell others, and meanwhile you had this guy who loves you and you have already been exposed. Did you think perhaps you also had it and didn't know, seems like no one has tested.

Interestingly enough, in this day and age, most people have something, HSV, HPV, etc.

There's ways to manage, and you will just manage. You have already been exposed, let your OBGyn know, everything will be ok. This is already old hat. Your behavior now needs some calming down.

She may not have it….

Does not matter. She's been exposed and herpes can rear itself much later, just like this guy. Neither of them were responsible. She owns this as well. But going forward, especially the birth, and any dating, she has to say something. This is what happened to him. He was infected by someone. There is really no bad guy here.

Um no. There is a test for it-and it’s like 99% accurate after 28 days of exposure. So she is not “exposed and needs to tell people” if she doesn’t actually have it. she doesn’t need to tell people she was exposed by some dude for the rest of her life. Being exposed simply means you need to be tested. You think people go around saying “I was exposed to herpes in 1989” The intelligence level here is really disturbing. Herpes isn’t going to randomly show up in 5 years in someone who doesn’t test positive for the virus. That’s not how it works.

You really don’t know what you are talking about. The blood test cannot tell how recently you were infected and herpes can be dormant for a long time. I get like one cold sore every few years.

Yeah but YOU HAVE HERPES. If you go get tested right now even while you don’t have a cold sore your test is going to be POSITIVE. Sorry.

Everyone with a virus does not shed viral loads in continuous and consistent amounts. It varies that’s why having sex with someone who has an STD doesn’t mean you’ll automatically catch it.

Unfortunately when you came in contact with the person you caught it from they were hella shedding and you caught it. Was just bad luck along with the irresponsibility and bam now you’re positive forever.

Op, have you had the flu since you’ve been dating this guy? Any flue like symptoms at all?

The PP poster was not me

But to answer your question…I got sick last year but I always get sick every year.

ATP all you can do is get tested and refrain from having sex with him at least until the baby is here. Flu like symptoms are usually the first sign that you’ve caught any virus. I’m hoping you didn’t catch this and can be rid of this guy.

Just came from seeing my OB. He doesn’t believe I have it because if I haven’t had an outbreak. He said he could do a blood test but blood tests aren’t reliable because if you have antibodies it’ll say “positive”, so this is why they go by visuals, and he said if or my ex had an outbreak I would definitely know. He’s going to put me on antivirals to be on the safe side.

I’m relieved for the most part.

You only have antibodies if you are positive. So either 1. Your doctor is an idiot. 2. You didn’t actually go to a doctor.

The blood tests are 99% accurate. They are as reliable as any other STD test or pregnancy test. You really can’t get more accurate than that. It’s true the blood tests used to be unreliable but they simply aren’t anymore so I’m not sure why this keeps getting mentioned. I don’t understand if you are this worried why you wouldn’t get a blood test. It honestly makes you sound just like him wanting to keep your head in the sand.

You can have a cold sore and test positive for an antibody. This is why majority of the population, if tested would test positive for antibodies. Most people would acquire HSV-1 as a child because close contact with other kids, kisses from family members, etc. Antibodies test for exposure at anytime, which makes it unreliable, again, because most people would test positive for antibodies.

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Anonymous wrote:He should have said something earlier in November, but frankly you both should have tested before sex, period. So, that is on you. What's your plan now? Leave him, and have your baby without him. Dear- you are now in the same boat as he is, getting it the same way he got it. So, what's the plan? You will have to tell others, and meanwhile you had this guy who loves you and you have already been exposed. Did you think perhaps you also had it and didn't know, seems like no one has tested.

Interestingly enough, in this day and age, most people have something, HSV, HPV, etc.

There's ways to manage, and you will just manage. You have already been exposed, let your OBGyn know, everything will be ok. This is already old hat. Your behavior now needs some calming down.

She may not have it….

Does not matter. She's been exposed and herpes can rear itself much later, just like this guy. Neither of them were responsible. She owns this as well. But going forward, especially the birth, and any dating, she has to say something. This is what happened to him. He was infected by someone. There is really no bad guy here.

Um no. There is a test for it-and it’s like 99% accurate after 28 days of exposure. So she is not “exposed and needs to tell people” if she doesn’t actually have it. she doesn’t need to tell people she was exposed by some dude for the rest of her life. Being exposed simply means you need to be tested. You think people go around saying “I was exposed to herpes in 1989” The intelligence level here is really disturbing. Herpes isn’t going to randomly show up in 5 years in someone who doesn’t test positive for the virus. That’s not how it works.

You really don’t know what you are talking about. The blood test cannot tell how recently you were infected and herpes can be dormant for a long time. I get like one cold sore every few years.

Yeah but YOU HAVE HERPES. If you go get tested right now even while you don’t have a cold sore your test is going to be POSITIVE. Sorry.

Everyone with a virus does not shed viral loads in continuous and consistent amounts. It varies that’s why having sex with someone who has an STD doesn’t mean you’ll automatically catch it.

Unfortunately when you came in contact with the person you caught it from they were hella shedding and you caught it. Was just bad luck along with the irresponsibility and bam now you’re positive forever.

Op, have you had the flu since you’ve been dating this guy? Any flue like symptoms at all?

The PP poster was not me

But to answer your question…I got sick last year but I always get sick every year.

ATP all you can do is get tested and refrain from having sex with him at least until the baby is here. Flu like symptoms are usually the first sign that you’ve caught any virus. I’m hoping you didn’t catch this and can be rid of this guy.

Just came from seeing my OB. He doesn’t believe I have it because if I haven’t had an outbreak. He said he could do a blood test but blood tests aren’t reliable because if you have antibodies it’ll say “positive”, so this is why they go by visuals, and he said if or my ex had an outbreak I would definitely know. He’s going to put me on antivirals to be on the safe side.

I’m relieved for the most part.

So basically your OB confirmed what your boyfriend said about testing … that doctors don’t consider a positive antibody test to be clinically relevant in the absence of an outbreak.

Better to take the word of a neutral medical professional than a boyfriend who has proven to be untrustworthy.