SIL plotted to inherit estates from childless aunts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

I would hope that if I decided to do something stupid by arbitrarily disinheriting some family members, a close friend or family member would discuss the matter with me and make sure I'm aware of the consequences. If I have good reasons, that's fine and can be elucidated in such a conversation. Sometimes we all need a gentle reminder to reconsider our actions.

This doesn’t seem like it was arbitrary.

Aunt sick and dying in the hospital changing her will to a wife of a nephew!?! lol.
Then hospital divorce was probably mainly to not bankrupt the healthy spouse and get on Medicaid and free hospice asap.

OP only just found out about it, but SIL was named as their executor years ago. OP doesn’t really know the details regarding how this came to pass. Apparently, SIL has had a relationship with these aunts that OP knew nothing about. OP is really in no position to judge the aunts or SIL.

Of course both sides will be judged, barring an obvious offense or infraction, if you change your will like this later.

The aunt who changed her will was getting divorced, so of course that necessitated a new will. It’s unclear whether this is the aunt who is leaving her estate to a charity or the aunt who is leaving her estate to OP’s brother and SIL. Regardless, there is no indication that OP was ever named in any earlier versions of either aunt’s will. If OP was never going to inherit from them, she’s lost nothing. The aunts had no reason to think they needed to discuss their wills or estates with OP. The only reason OP knows anything about any of this is because other family members have been stirring the pot. Maybe OP should contemplate their motivations for trying to pit her against her brother and SIL.

OP has learned all of this third hand, not from any of the others involved. It may not even be accurate information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your post is rather loaded. For example, you mention that your SIL does not work, but you do. Why? Perhaps you’re insufferable and they liked your SIL more?

Say whatever you want, but you’re upset because you want your hands on that money. Think about that for a minute.

The OPs word choices ("plotted" and "schmoozing") make me think she is kind of a cold person who doesn't understand human relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the future I wonder how OP’s brother would feel if one of his kids silently or vehemently shut out their siblings from Auntie OP’s will during a family visit.

Well played, I guess.

This is par for the course these days with modern families. You want to cut your family off for this or that slight then don't be shocked when you are passed over as next of kin when it's time to read the will. Blood isn't thicker than water any more in these parts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, ah, how often do you visit these childless aunts, OP? I'm thinking pretty much never?

Op here. No one lives near them. We have a couple kids, bro/SIL have more.

I saw the hometown couple each year 1-5x a year for 25 years and holidays.

As a married adult with kids I saw one set 1-2x a year when in hometown and the other 1-2x a year when in their town during work trips.

My brother never saw the out of town one. He works full time in a senior position with lots of travel.

But his wife did some schmoozing behind the scenes the last 5+ years with each aunt. Most of it not in person, we all live 1000-4000 miles from one another.

Sounds like she created a relationship and made them feel loved and like someone in the family cared about them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My SIL's full time job was shaking the money tree. She didn't work but spent a lot of time calling all the elderly relatives every day, telling them all about the summer camp that Johny really wanted to go to but it was just too expensive. It's also a job, just a different one.

And now it is the time for her Pay Day! Well done SIL. She seems to be a warm person, cares for her relatives, and is deserving of the estates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the future I wonder how OP’s brother would feel if one of his kids silently or vehemently shut out their siblings from Auntie OP’s will during a family visit.

Well played, I guess.

OP has kids. Not a possibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

I would hope that if I decided to do something stupid by arbitrarily disinheriting some family members, a close friend or family member would discuss the matter with me and make sure I'm aware of the consequences. If I have good reasons, that's fine and can be elucidated in such a conversation. Sometimes we all need a gentle reminder to reconsider our actions.

This doesn’t seem like it was arbitrary.

Aunt sick and dying in the hospital changing her will to a wife of a nephew!?! lol.
Then hospital divorce was probably mainly to not bankrupt the healthy spouse and get on Medicaid and free hospice asap.

OP only just found out about it, but SIL was named as their executor years ago. OP doesn’t really know the details regarding how this came to pass. Apparently, SIL has had a relationship with these aunts that OP knew nothing about. OP is really in no position to judge the aunts or SIL.

Of course both sides will be judged, barring an obvious offense or infraction, if you change your will like this later.

The aunt who changed her will was getting divorced, so of course that necessitated a new will. It’s unclear whether this is the aunt who is leaving her estate to a charity or the aunt who is leaving her estate to OP’s brother and SIL. Regardless, there is no indication that OP was ever named in any earlier versions of either aunt’s will. If OP was never going to inherit from them, she’s lost nothing. The aunts had no reason to think they needed to discuss their wills or estates with OP. The only reason OP knows anything about any of this is because other family members have been stirring the pot. Maybe OP should contemplate their motivations for trying to pit her against her brother and SIL.

Lolz. Surely the aunt predicted decades ago that she’d pick a chosen ones, a spouse of the one of her sibling’s kids to single-handedly get everything, and put that placeholder in long ago.

Surely that makes sense over the boiler plate goes to next of kin equally, which is 90% of the market.

Next of kin equally when we're talking about aunts and uncles? Where is this rule written? This isn't a close family, at all. Separated by states and apparently working status. Why OP was counting on her distant aunts' fortunes is anyone's guess. How big are these estates anyway? If they are all rolling in it does this mean that OP stands to inherit a hefty sum from her own parents? Or are we talking about peanuts?

Do you not know anything about next of kin succession? Most Americans don’t have a will, so that’s what is followed in the legal or probate process to close out things.

A sibling would be the next of kin for an elderly, divorced, childless woman, not nieces and nephews. OP’s parents are still alive. One of them is being passed over for OP’s brother. Maybe OP’s parents have a sizable estate of their own and that’s why aunt isn’t simply leaving her estate to next of kin. Maybe brother has had financial problems. Maybe SIL has been very concerned and caring towards them. Maybe brother and SIL are inheriting because they have so many kids. Who knows?

No one puts some over age 75 as a will executor. But to choose only one beneficiary from out of state is sus.

Maybe they simply want to make trouble. Karma will handle it OP.

Now you know everyone’s true colors.
When the will was remade with SIL or them as executors, your brother had the opportunity to say split it two ways for harmony sake or be sibling co-executors.
He did not, he and his wife agreed to grab it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

I would hope that if I decided to do something stupid by arbitrarily disinheriting some family members, a close friend or family member would discuss the matter with me and make sure I'm aware of the consequences. If I have good reasons, that's fine and can be elucidated in such a conversation. Sometimes we all need a gentle reminder to reconsider our actions.

This doesn’t seem like it was arbitrary.

Aunt sick and dying in the hospital changing her will to a wife of a nephew!?! lol.
Then hospital divorce was probably mainly to not bankrupt the healthy spouse and get on Medicaid and free hospice asap.

OP only just found out about it, but SIL was named as their executor years ago. OP doesn’t really know the details regarding how this came to pass. Apparently, SIL has had a relationship with these aunts that OP knew nothing about. OP is really in no position to judge the aunts or SIL.

Of course both sides will be judged, barring an obvious offense or infraction, if you change your will like this later.

+10000

It’s really this simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

You’d leave her money too or leave her, and only her, all the money?

One aunt is leaving some money and donating the rest. Seems nobody likes OP and her family here.

That’s not clear today from what I read.

But there will definitely be a rift between the sibling families once this all goes down. And SIL, entirety and auntie know it, because they created it.

There’s only a rift because OP thinks she’s entitled.

And why is SIL entitled?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

I would hope that if I decided to do something stupid by arbitrarily disinheriting some family members, a close friend or family member would discuss the matter with me and make sure I'm aware of the consequences. If I have good reasons, that's fine and can be elucidated in such a conversation. Sometimes we all need a gentle reminder to reconsider our actions.

This doesn’t seem like it was arbitrary.

Aunt sick and dying in the hospital changing her will to a wife of a nephew!?! lol.
Then hospital divorce was probably mainly to not bankrupt the healthy spouse and get on Medicaid and free hospice asap.

OP only just found out about it, but SIL was named as their executor years ago. OP doesn’t really know the details regarding how this came to pass. Apparently, SIL has had a relationship with these aunts that OP knew nothing about. OP is really in no position to judge the aunts or SIL.

Of course both sides will be judged, barring an obvious offense or infraction, if you change your will like this later.

The aunt who changed her will was getting divorced, so of course that necessitated a new will. It’s unclear whether this is the aunt who is leaving her estate to a charity or the aunt who is leaving her estate to OP’s brother and SIL. Regardless, there is no indication that OP was ever named in any earlier versions of either aunt’s will. If OP was never going to inherit from them, she’s lost nothing. The aunts had no reason to think they needed to discuss their wills or estates with OP. The only reason OP knows anything about any of this is because other family members have been stirring the pot. Maybe OP should contemplate their motivations for trying to pit her against her brother and SIL.

Lolz. Surely the aunt predicted decades ago that she’d pick a chosen ones, a spouse of the one of her sibling’s kids to single-handedly get everything, and put that placeholder in long ago.

Surely that makes sense over the boiler plate goes to next of kin equally, which is 90% of the market.

Next of kin equally when we're talking about aunts and uncles? Where is this rule written? This isn't a close family, at all. Separated by states and apparently working status. Why OP was counting on her distant aunts' fortunes is anyone's guess. How big are these estates anyway? If they are all rolling in it does this mean that OP stands to inherit a hefty sum from her own parents? Or are we talking about peanuts?

Do you not know anything about next of kin succession? Most Americans don’t have a will, so that’s what is followed in the legal or probate process to close out things.

A sibling would be the next of kin for an elderly, divorced, childless woman, not nieces and nephews. OP’s parents are still alive. One of them is being passed over for OP’s brother. Maybe OP’s parents have a sizable estate of their own and that’s why aunt isn’t simply leaving her estate to next of kin. Maybe brother has had financial problems. Maybe SIL has been very concerned and caring towards them. Maybe brother and SIL are inheriting because they have so many kids. Who knows?

No one puts some over age 75 as a will executor. But to choose only one beneficiary from out of state is sus.

Maybe they simply want to make trouble. Karma will handle it OP.

Now you know everyone’s true colors.
When the will was remade with SIL or them as executors, your brother had the opportunity to say split it two ways for harmony sake or be sibling co-executors.
He did not, he and his wife agreed to grab it all.

Maybe they simply want to do what they like with their own money. Maybe the brother suggested that and the auntie said no. Maybe OP is an enormous PITA to everyone in her family. We only have her side of the story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

I would hope that if I decided to do something stupid by arbitrarily disinheriting some family members, a close friend or family member would discuss the matter with me and make sure I'm aware of the consequences. If I have good reasons, that's fine and can be elucidated in such a conversation. Sometimes we all need a gentle reminder to reconsider our actions.

This doesn’t seem like it was arbitrary.

Aunt sick and dying in the hospital changing her will to a wife of a nephew!?! lol.
Then hospital divorce was probably mainly to not bankrupt the healthy spouse and get on Medicaid and free hospice asap.

OP only just found out about it, but SIL was named as their executor years ago. OP doesn’t really know the details regarding how this came to pass. Apparently, SIL has had a relationship with these aunts that OP knew nothing about. OP is really in no position to judge the aunts or SIL.

Of course both sides will be judged, barring an obvious offense or infraction, if you change your will like this later.

The aunt who changed her will was getting divorced, so of course that necessitated a new will. It’s unclear whether this is the aunt who is leaving her estate to a charity or the aunt who is leaving her estate to OP’s brother and SIL. Regardless, there is no indication that OP was ever named in any earlier versions of either aunt’s will. If OP was never going to inherit from them, she’s lost nothing. The aunts had no reason to think they needed to discuss their wills or estates with OP. The only reason OP knows anything about any of this is because other family members have been stirring the pot.

Maybe OP should contemplate their motivations for trying to pit her against her brother and SIL.

As yes, more power and money secrets upon secrets. That’s the ticket!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

You’d leave her money too or leave her, and only her, all the money?

One aunt is leaving some money and donating the rest. Seems nobody likes OP and her family here.

That’s not clear today from what I read.

But there will definitely be a rift between the sibling families once this all goes down. And SIL, entirety and auntie know it, because they created it.

There’s only a rift because OP thinks she’s entitled.

And why is SIL entitled?

She’s not. The aunties chose her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

You’d leave her money too or leave her, and only her, all the money?

One aunt is leaving some money and donating the rest. Seems nobody likes OP and her family here.

That’s not clear today from what I read.

But there will definitely be a rift between the sibling families once this all goes down. And SIL, entirety and auntie know it, because they created it.

There’s only a rift because OP thinks she’s entitled.

And why is SIL entitled?

Because aunt named her in the will as a beneficiary. Maybe that was a foolish decision; maybe it was a great one. She could leave her entire estate to her cat if she wanted to. It’s her money and her choice what to do with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

I would hope that if I decided to do something stupid by arbitrarily disinheriting some family members, a close friend or family member would discuss the matter with me and make sure I'm aware of the consequences. If I have good reasons, that's fine and can be elucidated in such a conversation. Sometimes we all need a gentle reminder to reconsider our actions.

This doesn’t seem like it was arbitrary.

Aunt sick and dying in the hospital changing her will to a wife of a nephew!?! lol.
Then hospital divorce was probably mainly to not bankrupt the healthy spouse and get on Medicaid and free hospice asap.

OP only just found out about it, but SIL was named as their executor years ago. OP doesn’t really know the details regarding how this came to pass. Apparently, SIL has had a relationship with these aunts that OP knew nothing about. OP is really in no position to judge the aunts or SIL.

Of course both sides will be judged, barring an obvious offense or infraction, if you change your will like this later.

The aunt who changed her will was getting divorced, so of course that necessitated a new will. It’s unclear whether this is the aunt who is leaving her estate to a charity or the aunt who is leaving her estate to OP’s brother and SIL. Regardless, there is no indication that OP was ever named in any earlier versions of either aunt’s will. If OP was never going to inherit from them, she’s lost nothing. The aunts had no reason to think they needed to discuss their wills or estates with OP. The only reason OP knows anything about any of this is because other family members have been stirring the pot. Maybe OP should contemplate their motivations for trying to pit her against her brother and SIL.

Lolz. Surely the aunt predicted decades ago that she’d pick a chosen ones, a spouse of the one of her sibling’s kids to single-handedly get everything, and put that placeholder in long ago.

Surely that makes sense over the boiler plate goes to next of kin equally, which is 90% of the market.

Next of kin equally when we're talking about aunts and uncles? Where is this rule written? This isn't a close family, at all. Separated by states and apparently working status. Why OP was counting on her distant aunts' fortunes is anyone's guess. How big are these estates anyway? If they are all rolling in it does this mean that OP stands to inherit a hefty sum from her own parents? Or are we talking about peanuts?

Do you not know anything about next of kin succession? Most Americans don’t have a will, so that’s what is followed in the legal or probate process to close out things.

A sibling would be the next of kin for an elderly, divorced, childless woman, not nieces and nephews. OP’s parents are still alive. One of them is being passed over for OP’s brother. Maybe OP’s parents have a sizable estate of their own and that’s why aunt isn’t simply leaving her estate to next of kin. Maybe brother has had financial problems. Maybe SIL has been very concerned and caring towards them. Maybe brother and SIL are inheriting because they have so many kids. Who knows?

No one puts some over age 75 as a will executor. But to choose only one beneficiary from out of state is sus.

Maybe they simply want to make trouble. Karma will handle it OP.

Now you know everyone’s true colors.
When the will was remade with SIL or them as executors, your brother had the opportunity to say split it two ways for harmony sake or be sibling co-executors.
He did not, he and his wife agreed to grab it all.

Maybe they simply want to do what they like with their own money. Maybe the brother suggested that and the auntie said no. Maybe OP is an enormous PITA to everyone in her family. We only have her side of the story.

Let’s assume yes to all your theories.

But you agree it will cause a sibling rift, correct? None was alluded to thus far.

Whether this arrangement was a punishment or whim or senility or hatred or a scheme, it will create a sibling rift now or later. Or at a minimum a loss of trust and respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

You’d leave her money too or leave her, and only her, all the money?

One aunt is leaving some money and donating the rest. Seems nobody likes OP and her family here.

That’s not clear today from what I read.

But there will definitely be a rift between the sibling families once this all goes down. And SIL, entirety and auntie know it, because they created it.

There’s only a rift because OP thinks she’s entitled.

And why is SIL entitled?

Because aunt named her in the will as a beneficiary. Maybe that was a foolish decision; maybe it was a great one. She could leave her entire estate to her cat if she wanted to. It’s her money and her choice what to do with it.

And the negative fallout will be as expected.
You can’t keep that a secret.

Ask any estate or family law attorney what happens in the few non obvious cases things are not decided equally, especially in small American families.