No, a woman is in charge of her body, and she should understand and be comfortable with what she needs to orgasm. Together, she and her partner should explore and find what they both enjoy.
However, the women who enjoy it the most have already learned (often through solo practice) how their body works.
Taking time and effort to help her figure out her body is fine in your late teens/early 20s. By the time you are posting on a parent forum, you should understand what is going on with you better than you did at 18.
So what are your options? You already married her, sexual insecurities/ ignorance and all. You are just going to divorce and find someone else instead of trying to work with what you got?
Why would I have married someone who had sexual insecurities/ ignorance that prevented her from fully enjoying herself? No need to divorce if you avoid this type in the first place.
A mature woman will grow in her sexuality. She will discover what she enjoys as a young woman and continue to explore these interests as she grows older. However, the journey is hers to lead.
And, yes, if she blamed me for her problems, I would divorce her. And I would expect her to divorce me if I did the same. In this thread, posters often use the thread of divorce as a weapon (e.g., "I think he is gross, I will not have sex with him, and if he does not like it, he can get a divorce"). A man with any self-esteem should dump any wife who would treat him this way.
Anonymous wrote:I think you are making too much of this conventionally beautiful thing, as well as whether assurances need to be daily. I think women just want to be actually seen and desired. Even if we are not conventionally beautiful, other than incel dude who denies that want and desire are synonyms, if you desire to have sex with a woman, there is probably something appealing about her. Tell her what it is! It’s not “you’re beautiful” if she’s not (and in fact, even if she is, this is pretty boring). I’ve been told my hair feels and smells great; I have good legs… a great smile. Some of us need more reassurance than others, but why is it so hard to give someone a real compliment?
It shouldn't be hard. But daily can be a bit much. I don't give my husband compliments or thank yous daily even though he does things worthy of these comments daily. But you are right. If he needed to hear it daily, i would make more of an effort to do so daily instead of complaining and whining about it.
It's just that sometimes life goes by and you forget to say it all the time, especially if you work long hours or have too many activities going on. If I hear it once a twice a week, I'm good.
Why can’t you compliment your husband daily? I bet that you compliment your children daily, even if they kind of suck at a lot of what they do.
I don't compliment my children daily. I say thank you if they pass me salt or open the door or help with something. But I don't call them smart, beautiful, kind, good, everday. I say it sometimes. And I think they are all these things. And they know they are.
Same with husband. I don't thank him enough for all the work he does with the kids schedules and such. I do sometimes tell him I am thankful for how he has these things covered, but i don't say it daily. He just came back from work and rushed them to practice and is now going to pick them up and get something for us to eat. I will say thank you when the food gets here, but I don't say thank you for getting things moving smoothly every evening. I could watch him walk away in jeans and think about his legs but not say anything about how nice he looks because i am on the phone. I think of it and forget when I get off the phone.
He does not tell me daily either. I drop them and pick them from swim every morning too, but he says it sometimes. I am fine with how often he says it. And sometimes he says it in a big way like " you were so right about this location for buying a house or this activity. What are your thoughts on our next steps towards ...?" That's a big compliment for me but it is not a daily occurrence. Or if I were a nice dress on the weekend, he will compliment or if I get my hair done But it's nowhere near daily.
Really? That is such a different household than mine.
I can think of a dozen times today that I have complimented each of my children. I took my 15 your old out to work on learning to drive today, and I told him multiple times that he did x, y, or z well. He also took the dog on a really long walk, and I told him that the dog looked really happy and he is a good dog owner.
My daughter and I are painting her room. I told her that I like the color she picked out and that she did a good job spackling. She also had cross-country practice this morning, and she made a new friend. She is generally shy, and we are new to the area, so I told her that I was proud of her.
My 14 year old is at Boy Scout camp. Again with a new troop that he doesn’t know well. I wrote to him and told him that I was proud of him and that a new episode of the podcast we listen to dropped today, and I can’t wait to listen to it with him because his commentary is hilarious.
My husband went to work early this morning, and I thanked him for working so hard for our family. Then I texted him later to thank him when I saw that he had made me coffee. He called me earlier this afternoon about an issue he had at work, and I told him that I thought he handled it well.
I think part of this might just be cultural. I’m from the Midwest, and we just compliment a lot. My aunt threw a party last weekend, and my cousins and I all told each other how lovely we were, complimented each others children, told my aunt how good the food was and how beautiful her house was over and over again.
No, a woman is in charge of her body, and she should understand and be comfortable with what she needs to orgasm. Together, she and her partner should explore and find what they both enjoy.
However, the women who enjoy it the most have already learned (often through solo practice) how their body works.
Taking time and effort to help her figure out her body is fine in your late teens/early 20s. By the time you are posting on a parent forum, you should understand what is going on with you better than you did at 18.
So what are your options? You already married her, sexual insecurities/ ignorance and all. You are just going to divorce and find someone else instead of trying to work with what you got?
Why would I have married someone who had sexual insecurities/ ignorance that prevented her from fully enjoying herself? No need to divorce if you avoid this type in the first place.
A mature woman will grow in her sexuality. She will discover what she enjoys as a young woman and continue to explore these interests as she grows older. However, the journey is hers to lead.
And, yes, if she blamed me for her problems, I would divorce her. And I would expect her to divorce me if I did the same. In this thread, posters often use the thread of divorce as a weapon (e.g., "I think he is gross, I will not have sex with him, and if he does not like it, he can get a divorce"). A man with any self-esteem should dump any wife who would treat him this way.
Of all the bad things that could happen in a marriage complimenting your wife daily is small peas.
Anonymous wrote:I think you are making too much of this conventionally beautiful thing, as well as whether assurances need to be daily. I think women just want to be actually seen and desired. Even if we are not conventionally beautiful, other than incel dude who denies that want and desire are synonyms, if you desire to have sex with a woman, there is probably something appealing about her. Tell her what it is! It’s not “you’re beautiful” if she’s not (and in fact, even if she is, this is pretty boring). I’ve been told my hair feels and smells great; I have good legs… a great smile. Some of us need more reassurance than others, but why is it so hard to give someone a real compliment?
It shouldn't be hard. But daily can be a bit much. I don't give my husband compliments or thank yous daily even though he does things worthy of these comments daily. But you are right. If he needed to hear it daily, i would make more of an effort to do so daily instead of complaining and whining about it.
It's just that sometimes life goes by and you forget to say it all the time, especially if you work long hours or have too many activities going on. If I hear it once a twice a week, I'm good.
One of the early poster said her husband complimented multiple times per day.
Multiple things can be true. It’s wonderful if it happens, but if a person *needs* that level of compliments, I think something going on with the person or the relationship.
That was me. My husband compliments my body regularly even though I’m an overweight middle aged mom, and knowing that he finds me desirable makes me more interested in sex.
What exactly do you think is wrong with me and my relationship?
Do you *need* compliments multiple times a day to function happily in your relationship? You are also the one who posted about the internal voices in your head, no?
I’m going to say yes. I need it to be happy and to have regular sex.
I haven’t had to go without compliments from my husband, but I once had to take an oral exam where the examiners maintained a flat, neutral expression the entire time, and I found it very unnerving. So I’m going to guess that I need some kind of positive feedback to feel confident.
Anonymous wrote:I think you are making too much of this conventionally beautiful thing, as well as whether assurances need to be daily. I think women just want to be actually seen and desired. Even if we are not conventionally beautiful, other than incel dude who denies that want and desire are synonyms, if you desire to have sex with a woman, there is probably something appealing about her. Tell her what it is! It’s not “you’re beautiful” if she’s not (and in fact, even if she is, this is pretty boring). I’ve been told my hair feels and smells great; I have good legs… a great smile. Some of us need more reassurance than others, but why is it so hard to give someone a real compliment?
It shouldn't be hard. But daily can be a bit much. I don't give my husband compliments or thank yous daily even though he does things worthy of these comments daily. But you are right. If he needed to hear it daily, i would make more of an effort to do so daily instead of complaining and whining about it.
It's just that sometimes life goes by and you forget to say it all the time, especially if you work long hours or have too many activities going on. If I hear it once a twice a week, I'm good.
One of the early poster said her husband complimented multiple times per day.
Multiple things can be true. It’s wonderful if it happens, but if a person *needs* that level of compliments, I think something going on with the person or the relationship.
That was me. My husband compliments my body regularly even though I’m an overweight middle aged mom, and knowing that he finds me desirable makes me more interested in sex.
What exactly do you think is wrong with me and my relationship?
Do you *need* compliments multiple times a day to function happily in your relationship? You are also the one who posted about the internal voices in your head, no?
I’m going to say yes. I need it to be happy and to have regular sex.
I haven’t had to go without compliments from my husband, but I once had to take an oral exam where the examiners maintained a flat, neutral expression the entire time, and I found it very unnerving. So I’m going to guess that I need some kind of positive feedback to feel confident.
So, what’s wrong with me?
It sounds like you need more oral practice. Willing to help.
Anonymous wrote:I think you are making too much of this conventionally beautiful thing, as well as whether assurances need to be daily. I think women just want to be actually seen and desired. Even if we are not conventionally beautiful, other than incel dude who denies that want and desire are synonyms, if you desire to have sex with a woman, there is probably something appealing about her. Tell her what it is! It’s not “you’re beautiful” if she’s not (and in fact, even if she is, this is pretty boring). I’ve been told my hair feels and smells great; I have good legs… a great smile. Some of us need more reassurance than others, but why is it so hard to give someone a real compliment?
It shouldn't be hard. But daily can be a bit much. I don't give my husband compliments or thank yous daily even though he does things worthy of these comments daily. But you are right. If he needed to hear it daily, i would make more of an effort to do so daily instead of complaining and whining about it.
It's just that sometimes life goes by and you forget to say it all the time, especially if you work long hours or have too many activities going on. If I hear it once a twice a week, I'm good.
Why can’t you compliment your husband daily? I bet that you compliment your children daily, even if they kind of suck at a lot of what they do.
I don't compliment my children daily. I say thank you if they pass me salt or open the door or help with something. But I don't call them smart, beautiful, kind, good, everday. I say it sometimes. And I think they are all these things. And they know they are.
Same with husband. I don't thank him enough for all the work he does with the kids schedules and such. I do sometimes tell him I am thankful for how he has these things covered, but i don't say it daily. He just came back from work and rushed them to practice and is now going to pick them up and get something for us to eat. I will say thank you when the food gets here, but I don't say thank you for getting things moving smoothly every evening. I could watch him walk away in jeans and think about his legs but not say anything about how nice he looks because i am on the phone. I think of it and forget when I get off the phone.
He does not tell me daily either. I drop them and pick them from swim every morning too, but he says it sometimes. I am fine with how often he says it. And sometimes he says it in a big way like " you were so right about this location for buying a house or this activity. What are your thoughts on our next steps towards ...?" That's a big compliment for me but it is not a daily occurrence. Or if I were a nice dress on the weekend, he will compliment or if I get my hair done But it's nowhere near daily.
Even when they were little, you didn’t compliment your children daily?
Maybe we are crossing wires here. I mean, it’s just a normal part of development to watch your toddler go down the slide and clap for them 20 times in a row or to say that their lego creation is amazing.
I doubt you are really saying that you just don’t do this.
Anonymous wrote:I think you are making too much of this conventionally beautiful thing, as well as whether assurances need to be daily. I think women just want to be actually seen and desired. Even if we are not conventionally beautiful, other than incel dude who denies that want and desire are synonyms, if you desire to have sex with a woman, there is probably something appealing about her. Tell her what it is! It’s not “you’re beautiful” if she’s not (and in fact, even if she is, this is pretty boring). I’ve been told my hair feels and smells great; I have good legs… a great smile. Some of us need more reassurance than others, but why is it so hard to give someone a real compliment?
It shouldn't be hard. But daily can be a bit much. I don't give my husband compliments or thank yous daily even though he does things worthy of these comments daily. But you are right. If he needed to hear it daily, i would make more of an effort to do so daily instead of complaining and whining about it.
It's just that sometimes life goes by and you forget to say it all the time, especially if you work long hours or have too many activities going on. If I hear it once a twice a week, I'm good.
One of the early poster said her husband complimented multiple times per day.
Multiple things can be true. It’s wonderful if it happens, but if a person *needs* that level of compliments, I think something going on with the person or the relationship.
That was me. My husband compliments my body regularly even though I’m an overweight middle aged mom, and knowing that he finds me desirable makes me more interested in sex.
What exactly do you think is wrong with me and my relationship?
Do you *need* compliments multiple times a day to function happily in your relationship? You are also the one who posted about the internal voices in your head, no?
I’m going to say yes. I need it to be happy and to have regular sex.
I haven’t had to go without compliments from my husband, but I once had to take an oral exam where the examiners maintained a flat, neutral expression the entire time, and I found it very unnerving. So I’m going to guess that I need some kind of positive feedback to feel confident.
So, what’s wrong with me?
It sounds like you need more oral practice. Willing to help.
Hahaha! I passed my exam, thank you for the offer .
Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about may body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.
You really need to work on that voice in your head.
I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.
It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.
You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.
I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow
The ones who regularly get laid are.
Meh.
I do not know any woman who needs this much attention from their husband.
I am mostly close to first and second generation American women though so maybe there is something in the water here.
Recent immigrants have accepted that men and women are not the same. They rely on their social network for a lot of support. They rely on men for some but not anything near as much as this thread is indicating.
I certainly do. And unless these women are sleeping with their girlfriends, its doubtful theyre getting their fill of sexual desire from them.
Different strokes I guess.
You can get self esteem boost from people other than your spouse. You don't need your spouse telling you are beautiful all the time if other people do. You need it sometimes, sure. But not every day.
The day a woman starts getting sexual fulfillment and her sexual desire needs filled by someone else, is the beginning of the end of the marriage. And certainly not a day when you will be able to expect enthusiastic sex from her (unless she's fantasizing about the other person the whole time)
You assume that the person giving you sexual fulfillment has to be responsible for your self esteem. I don't. And most of the women I know don't.
Yes, the person who gives your sexual "juice" (feelings of desire and being desired) is the person you want to have sex. That's why women often have affairs that start with emotional connection, and then it rolls into sex as well.
I get what you are saying but I dont completely agree. Emotional affairs start well before "sexual juice" happens. Usually people who carry emotional affairs are not necessarily looking for sex or the feelings of being desired. They want to feel heard. These two needs are separate.
When people have crushes at work, its not because their co workers sexually desires them. It's because these people engage with them.
So if your argument is that men have to engage in frequeng discussions with their spouses, I agree. But they don't necessarily have to give them daily compliments on their beauty and sexual desireabilty. Nothing wrong with that, but it' not necessary in most other cultures.
LOL. Emotional affairs and sexual "juice" happens at the exact same time. Women can read men's faces, and desire is often one of the most visible male emotions. When that male coworker or friend is staring at her body, or looking at her across the room with lust... that's the juice flowing. When he says how beautiful she is, how gorgeous she is in that dress, how lucky her husband is, etc... that's the juice. It's a flow and a buildup and a process, and the emotional connection and the male desire flowing into her and unleashing her own desire is a huge part. But many men will never get this which is why a handful of charismatic, sexually confident men corner the market and the rest of y'all just whine and complain and jerk off alone.
So you think all these women with work crushes have these crushes because men at work tell them they are beautiful or look at them with sexual desire? You are completely wrong. Lol
Absolutely. The crushes that actually lead to sex do
Good that you narrowed it down to " crushes that lead to sex".
Most work crushes do not lead to sex. In most cases women are attracted to men who are being nice to everyone without any sexual intention. Many times these women are not the men's type but the men are decent humans who engage politely and attentively with everyone at work.
sure. Hence proving everyone's point- the guys who actually get laid are the ones who show their sexual desire to a woman. You seem clueless with women
Yeah. I am clueless about women like you who are intentionally obtuse.
Let me try one more time: Women have work crushes on men who show them no sexual desire and men who may not even sexually desire them. Do you know that crushes include sexual desire?
So women have sexual feelings/ desire/ crushes towards men they work with even when these men show no sexual desire towards them. Because these women's sexual desire is not necessarily tied to men constantly telling them or making them feel they are beautiful/sexually desirable.
Your argument then that women need daily beauty affirmations from a man to want to have sex with him falls flat in the face of most work crushes. Those affirmations are usually absent, yet women sexually desire those co workers.
Let me explain this because YOURE too obtuse to understand (same reason you cant get laid):
Yes, women can experience spontaneous sexual attraction towards men. But what differentiates a crush from actually getting SEX is how these men speak to them, how they escalate and move things along. And that's almost certainly from expressing desire. As women have told you over and over again.... this is what gets the female libido flowing towards sex. For whatever reason, you are committed to not understanding, which is why other men get to have sex and you dont.
Lol. What distinguishes crushes from actually getting action from a married woman is a woman and a man with low self esteem and questionable morals. Its not a win.
I am a woman who regularly has crushes on men. The moment they send any signals my way, I am healed of the crush. Who wants to sleep with a man vying for a married woman. Eewww.
Crushes are not intrinsically moral things. People have crushes based on physical attractiveness, and often nothing happens. But a huge proportion of sexual relationships, affairs or otherwise, happen as a result of the woman experiencing the man's overwhelming desire and attraction for her. It's intoxicating
Sexual affairs happen because someone expresses direct sexual interest. News at 11. Big deal.
Attraction and interest is not necessarily the result of direct expression of sexual interest.
Youre finally starting to get it... eureka! Yes, when men express sexual longing and desire for women, it often turns the woman on and leads to sex.
Now... was that so hard to concede?
That is a different poster. I am the PP you've been going back and forth with. I don't think they are agreeing with you though. Lol
They were, whether that was their intention or not being a totally different story But they did prove the point quite nicely.
I’m the poster, and a woman. And I disagreed with you. Attraction has many more components than just direct sexual expression. And as a PP above said, direct sexual expression can be a turn off in some circumstances.
This discussion lost the plot along the way somewhere and just turned into a dumb fight. Yes, a man can do things to make his partner more interested. But putting as much responsibility for it on the man, as you have been, is self defeating.
It didnt lose the plot, although you might've. Women on this thread have been saying, from the beginning, that they get turned on by their male partner expressing desire and if husbands want to get laid, they should show desire for their wife. The lazy husbands of DCUM have been whining about it, and then you came in to white night for them but accidentally took our side. Thank you!
I am a PP who has been debating before this PP you are responding to came in. Sorry to disappoint you, but I am a woman.
I am the woman who has crushes left and right. These have nothing to do with men's desire for me. Quite the opposite. Decency in character and some charm turns me on. A man does not have to think I am beautiful or sexually desirable in order for me to crush on him.
I am sexually attracted to my DH because he is a decent guy, a great father to my kids and he is tall and bow-legged with a deep voice. He does not need to constantly tell me I am beautiful or sexually desirable because I know I am (not really beautiful by objective standards but who cares - it's my appearance and I like it) And even if I thought I wasn't, that wouldn't stop me from wanting to have sex because ugly people have sex, get married and live happy lives.
What turns me and most women I know off is meaness, lack of empathy and lack of emotional connection. Perhaps for some women, not telling them they are beautiful or sexy is a symptom that their husband is not emotionally connected to them. Or perhaps women are not a monolith and we need different things to be interested.
So you admit to not being conventionally attractive then say that you develop crushes without the men reciprocating... okay? I mean of course some unattractive women are not going to experience the magnetic allure of a man being deeply, lustfully, overwhelmingly drawn to you. That doesnt make it any less intoxicating. Maybe if you got more male attention you'd understand...
So is the problem that you married someone who has lost the "magnetic allure" for you or did you marry someone who never had it for you?
To be honest, that magnetic allure sounds like lust that everyone experiences at the begining of relationships.
No, I have a DH who is very attracted to me and makes it known how sexy he finds me. But then again, he had lots of success with women before he met me and isn't a clueless bozo who had to settle for a "conventionally unattractive" woman (like your husband). He knows exactly how to talk to women, how to communicate how sexy he finds me, and that's exactly why we have an active sex life. But the whining, loser men on this board are the exact opposite and deserve to be called out
Dont be quick to make assumptions.
I was conventionally attractive when I married. I went from size 4 to size 12. I could look much better if I were a size 6, but I like what I see when I look into the mirror every day. I love mirrors! I have the most beautiful red full lips, a great laugh, a beautiful body, long legs, and a wonderful life. I don't have to be told I am beautiful daily. I can see it, and I feel beautiful and sexy. Ofcourse every woman wants to hear their husband say they are beautiful and sexy. Mine does, but he does not say it everyday. He never has, not even when I was conventionally attractive.
I am surrounded by many conventionally attractive women who don't need daily assurances that they are beautiful and sexy, so I don't think being conventionally attractive is the main issue here. But hey, if thinking so makes you have better sex with your husband, good for you and good for him!
What happens when you are no longer conventionally attractive? What happens when you are older and wrinkly. No more sex?
My wife is middle age and overweight. I am strictly prohibited from talking about her body/looks.
Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about may body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.
You really need to work on that voice in your head.
I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.
It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.
You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.
I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow
The ones who regularly get laid are.
Meh.
I do not know any woman who needs this much attention from their husband.
I am mostly close to first and second generation American women though so maybe there is something in the water here.
Recent immigrants have accepted that men and women are not the same. They rely on their social network for a lot of support. They rely on men for some but not anything near as much as this thread is indicating.
I certainly do. And unless these women are sleeping with their girlfriends, its doubtful theyre getting their fill of sexual desire from them.
Different strokes I guess.
You can get self esteem boost from people other than your spouse. You don't need your spouse telling you are beautiful all the time if other people do. You need it sometimes, sure. But not every day.
The day a woman starts getting sexual fulfillment and her sexual desire needs filled by someone else, is the beginning of the end of the marriage. And certainly not a day when you will be able to expect enthusiastic sex from her (unless she's fantasizing about the other person the whole time)
You assume that the person giving you sexual fulfillment has to be responsible for your self esteem. I don't. And most of the women I know don't.
Yes, the person who gives your sexual "juice" (feelings of desire and being desired) is the person you want to have sex. That's why women often have affairs that start with emotional connection, and then it rolls into sex as well.
I get what you are saying but I dont completely agree. Emotional affairs start well before "sexual juice" happens. Usually people who carry emotional affairs are not necessarily looking for sex or the feelings of being desired. They want to feel heard. These two needs are separate.
When people have crushes at work, its not because their co workers sexually desires them. It's because these people engage with them.
So if your argument is that men have to engage in frequeng discussions with their spouses, I agree. But they don't necessarily have to give them daily compliments on their beauty and sexual desireabilty. Nothing wrong with that, but it' not necessary in most other cultures.
LOL. Emotional affairs and sexual "juice" happens at the exact same time. Women can read men's faces, and desire is often one of the most visible male emotions. When that male coworker or friend is staring at her body, or looking at her across the room with lust... that's the juice flowing. When he says how beautiful she is, how gorgeous she is in that dress, how lucky her husband is, etc... that's the juice. It's a flow and a buildup and a process, and the emotional connection and the male desire flowing into her and unleashing her own desire is a huge part. But many men will never get this which is why a handful of charismatic, sexually confident men corner the market and the rest of y'all just whine and complain and jerk off alone.
So you think all these women with work crushes have these crushes because men at work tell them they are beautiful or look at them with sexual desire? You are completely wrong. Lol
Absolutely. The crushes that actually lead to sex do
Good that you narrowed it down to " crushes that lead to sex".
Most work crushes do not lead to sex. In most cases women are attracted to men who are being nice to everyone without any sexual intention. Many times these women are not the men's type but the men are decent humans who engage politely and attentively with everyone at work.
sure. Hence proving everyone's point- the guys who actually get laid are the ones who show their sexual desire to a woman. You seem clueless with women
Yeah. I am clueless about women like you who are intentionally obtuse.
Let me try one more time: Women have work crushes on men who show them no sexual desire and men who may not even sexually desire them. Do you know that crushes include sexual desire?
So women have sexual feelings/ desire/ crushes towards men they work with even when these men show no sexual desire towards them. Because these women's sexual desire is not necessarily tied to men constantly telling them or making them feel they are beautiful/sexually desirable.
Your argument then that women need daily beauty affirmations from a man to want to have sex with him falls flat in the face of most work crushes. Those affirmations are usually absent, yet women sexually desire those co workers.
Let me explain this because YOURE too obtuse to understand (same reason you cant get laid):
Yes, women can experience spontaneous sexual attraction towards men. But what differentiates a crush from actually getting SEX is how these men speak to them, how they escalate and move things along. And that's almost certainly from expressing desire. As women have told you over and over again.... this is what gets the female libido flowing towards sex. For whatever reason, you are committed to not understanding, which is why other men get to have sex and you dont.
Lol. What distinguishes crushes from actually getting action from a married woman is a woman and a man with low self esteem and questionable morals. Its not a win.
I am a woman who regularly has crushes on men. The moment they send any signals my way, I am healed of the crush. Who wants to sleep with a man vying for a married woman. Eewww.
Crushes are not intrinsically moral things. People have crushes based on physical attractiveness, and often nothing happens. But a huge proportion of sexual relationships, affairs or otherwise, happen as a result of the woman experiencing the man's overwhelming desire and attraction for her. It's intoxicating
Sexual affairs happen because someone expresses direct sexual interest. News at 11. Big deal.
Attraction and interest is not necessarily the result of direct expression of sexual interest.
Youre finally starting to get it... eureka! Yes, when men express sexual longing and desire for women, it often turns the woman on and leads to sex.
Now... was that so hard to concede?
That is a different poster. I am the PP you've been going back and forth with. I don't think they are agreeing with you though. Lol
They were, whether that was their intention or not being a totally different story But they did prove the point quite nicely.
I’m the poster, and a woman. And I disagreed with you. Attraction has many more components than just direct sexual expression. And as a PP above said, direct sexual expression can be a turn off in some circumstances.
This discussion lost the plot along the way somewhere and just turned into a dumb fight. Yes, a man can do things to make his partner more interested. But putting as much responsibility for it on the man, as you have been, is self defeating.
It didnt lose the plot, although you might've. Women on this thread have been saying, from the beginning, that they get turned on by their male partner expressing desire and if husbands want to get laid, they should show desire for their wife. The lazy husbands of DCUM have been whining about it, and then you came in to white night for them but accidentally took our side. Thank you!
I am a PP who has been debating before this PP you are responding to came in. Sorry to disappoint you, but I am a woman.
I am the woman who has crushes left and right. These have nothing to do with men's desire for me. Quite the opposite. Decency in character and some charm turns me on. A man does not have to think I am beautiful or sexually desirable in order for me to crush on him.
I am sexually attracted to my DH because he is a decent guy, a great father to my kids and he is tall and bow-legged with a deep voice. He does not need to constantly tell me I am beautiful or sexually desirable because I know I am (not really beautiful by objective standards but who cares - it's my appearance and I like it) And even if I thought I wasn't, that wouldn't stop me from wanting to have sex because ugly people have sex, get married and live happy lives.
What turns me and most women I know off is meaness, lack of empathy and lack of emotional connection. Perhaps for some women, not telling them they are beautiful or sexy is a symptom that their husband is not emotionally connected to them. Or perhaps women are not a monolith and we need different things to be interested.
So you admit to not being conventionally attractive then say that you develop crushes without the men reciprocating... okay? I mean of course some unattractive women are not going to experience the magnetic allure of a man being deeply, lustfully, overwhelmingly drawn to you. That doesnt make it any less intoxicating. Maybe if you got more male attention you'd understand...
So is the problem that you married someone who has lost the "magnetic allure" for you or did you marry someone who never had it for you?
To be honest, that magnetic allure sounds like lust that everyone experiences at the begining of relationships.
No, I have a DH who is very attracted to me and makes it known how sexy he finds me. But then again, he had lots of success with women before he met me and isn't a clueless bozo who had to settle for a "conventionally unattractive" woman (like your husband). He knows exactly how to talk to women, how to communicate how sexy he finds me, and that's exactly why we have an active sex life. But the whining, loser men on this board are the exact opposite and deserve to be called out
Dont be quick to make assumptions.
I was conventionally attractive when I married. I went from size 4 to size 12. I could look much better if I were a size 6, but I like what I see when I look into the mirror every day. I love mirrors! I have the most beautiful red full lips, a great laugh, a beautiful body, long legs, and a wonderful life. I don't have to be told I am beautiful daily. I can see it, and I feel beautiful and sexy. Ofcourse every woman wants to hear their husband say they are beautiful and sexy. Mine does, but he does not say it everyday. He never has, not even when I was conventionally attractive.
I am surrounded by many conventionally attractive women who don't need daily assurances that they are beautiful and sexy, so I don't think being conventionally attractive is the main issue here. But hey, if thinking so makes you have better sex with your husband, good for you and good for him!
What happens when you are no longer conventionally attractive? What happens when you are older and wrinkly. No more sex?
My wife is middle age and overweight. I am strictly prohibited from talking about her body/looks.
Tell her something you find sexy about her anyway. What’s the worst that can happen?
Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about may body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.
You really need to work on that voice in your head.
I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.
It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.
You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.
I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow
The ones who regularly get laid are.
Meh.
I do not know any woman who needs this much attention from their husband.
I am mostly close to first and second generation American women though so maybe there is something in the water here.
Recent immigrants have accepted that men and women are not the same. They rely on their social network for a lot of support. They rely on men for some but not anything near as much as this thread is indicating.
I certainly do. And unless these women are sleeping with their girlfriends, its doubtful theyre getting their fill of sexual desire from them.
Different strokes I guess.
You can get self esteem boost from people other than your spouse. You don't need your spouse telling you are beautiful all the time if other people do. You need it sometimes, sure. But not every day.
The day a woman starts getting sexual fulfillment and her sexual desire needs filled by someone else, is the beginning of the end of the marriage. And certainly not a day when you will be able to expect enthusiastic sex from her (unless she's fantasizing about the other person the whole time)
You assume that the person giving you sexual fulfillment has to be responsible for your self esteem. I don't. And most of the women I know don't.
Yes, the person who gives your sexual "juice" (feelings of desire and being desired) is the person you want to have sex. That's why women often have affairs that start with emotional connection, and then it rolls into sex as well.
I get what you are saying but I dont completely agree. Emotional affairs start well before "sexual juice" happens. Usually people who carry emotional affairs are not necessarily looking for sex or the feelings of being desired. They want to feel heard. These two needs are separate.
When people have crushes at work, its not because their co workers sexually desires them. It's because these people engage with them.
So if your argument is that men have to engage in frequeng discussions with their spouses, I agree. But they don't necessarily have to give them daily compliments on their beauty and sexual desireabilty. Nothing wrong with that, but it' not necessary in most other cultures.
LOL. Emotional affairs and sexual "juice" happens at the exact same time. Women can read men's faces, and desire is often one of the most visible male emotions. When that male coworker or friend is staring at her body, or looking at her across the room with lust... that's the juice flowing. When he says how beautiful she is, how gorgeous she is in that dress, how lucky her husband is, etc... that's the juice. It's a flow and a buildup and a process, and the emotional connection and the male desire flowing into her and unleashing her own desire is a huge part. But many men will never get this which is why a handful of charismatic, sexually confident men corner the market and the rest of y'all just whine and complain and jerk off alone.
So you think all these women with work crushes have these crushes because men at work tell them they are beautiful or look at them with sexual desire? You are completely wrong. Lol
Absolutely. The crushes that actually lead to sex do
Good that you narrowed it down to " crushes that lead to sex".
Most work crushes do not lead to sex. In most cases women are attracted to men who are being nice to everyone without any sexual intention. Many times these women are not the men's type but the men are decent humans who engage politely and attentively with everyone at work.
sure. Hence proving everyone's point- the guys who actually get laid are the ones who show their sexual desire to a woman. You seem clueless with women
Yeah. I am clueless about women like you who are intentionally obtuse.
Let me try one more time: Women have work crushes on men who show them no sexual desire and men who may not even sexually desire them. Do you know that crushes include sexual desire?
So women have sexual feelings/ desire/ crushes towards men they work with even when these men show no sexual desire towards them. Because these women's sexual desire is not necessarily tied to men constantly telling them or making them feel they are beautiful/sexually desirable.
Your argument then that women need daily beauty affirmations from a man to want to have sex with him falls flat in the face of most work crushes. Those affirmations are usually absent, yet women sexually desire those co workers.
Let me explain this because YOURE too obtuse to understand (same reason you cant get laid):
Yes, women can experience spontaneous sexual attraction towards men. But what differentiates a crush from actually getting SEX is how these men speak to them, how they escalate and move things along. And that's almost certainly from expressing desire. As women have told you over and over again.... this is what gets the female libido flowing towards sex. For whatever reason, you are committed to not understanding, which is why other men get to have sex and you dont.
Lol. What distinguishes crushes from actually getting action from a married woman is a woman and a man with low self esteem and questionable morals. Its not a win.
I am a woman who regularly has crushes on men. The moment they send any signals my way, I am healed of the crush. Who wants to sleep with a man vying for a married woman. Eewww.
Crushes are not intrinsically moral things. People have crushes based on physical attractiveness, and often nothing happens. But a huge proportion of sexual relationships, affairs or otherwise, happen as a result of the woman experiencing the man's overwhelming desire and attraction for her. It's intoxicating
Sexual affairs happen because someone expresses direct sexual interest. News at 11. Big deal.
Attraction and interest is not necessarily the result of direct expression of sexual interest.
Youre finally starting to get it... eureka! Yes, when men express sexual longing and desire for women, it often turns the woman on and leads to sex.
Now... was that so hard to concede?
That is a different poster. I am the PP you've been going back and forth with. I don't think they are agreeing with you though. Lol
They were, whether that was their intention or not being a totally different story But they did prove the point quite nicely.
I’m the poster, and a woman. And I disagreed with you. Attraction has many more components than just direct sexual expression. And as a PP above said, direct sexual expression can be a turn off in some circumstances.
This discussion lost the plot along the way somewhere and just turned into a dumb fight. Yes, a man can do things to make his partner more interested. But putting as much responsibility for it on the man, as you have been, is self defeating.
It didnt lose the plot, although you might've. Women on this thread have been saying, from the beginning, that they get turned on by their male partner expressing desire and if husbands want to get laid, they should show desire for their wife. The lazy husbands of DCUM have been whining about it, and then you came in to white night for them but accidentally took our side. Thank you!
I am a PP who has been debating before this PP you are responding to came in. Sorry to disappoint you, but I am a woman.
I am the woman who has crushes left and right. These have nothing to do with men's desire for me. Quite the opposite. Decency in character and some charm turns me on. A man does not have to think I am beautiful or sexually desirable in order for me to crush on him.
I am sexually attracted to my DH because he is a decent guy, a great father to my kids and he is tall and bow-legged with a deep voice. He does not need to constantly tell me I am beautiful or sexually desirable because I know I am (not really beautiful by objective standards but who cares - it's my appearance and I like it) And even if I thought I wasn't, that wouldn't stop me from wanting to have sex because ugly people have sex, get married and live happy lives.
What turns me and most women I know off is meaness, lack of empathy and lack of emotional connection. Perhaps for some women, not telling them they are beautiful or sexy is a symptom that their husband is not emotionally connected to them. Or perhaps women are not a monolith and we need different things to be interested.
So you admit to not being conventionally attractive then say that you develop crushes without the men reciprocating... okay? I mean of course some unattractive women are not going to experience the magnetic allure of a man being deeply, lustfully, overwhelmingly drawn to you. That doesnt make it any less intoxicating. Maybe if you got more male attention you'd understand...
So is the problem that you married someone who has lost the "magnetic allure" for you or did you marry someone who never had it for you?
To be honest, that magnetic allure sounds like lust that everyone experiences at the begining of relationships.
No, I have a DH who is very attracted to me and makes it known how sexy he finds me. But then again, he had lots of success with women before he met me and isn't a clueless bozo who had to settle for a "conventionally unattractive" woman (like your husband). He knows exactly how to talk to women, how to communicate how sexy he finds me, and that's exactly why we have an active sex life. But the whining, loser men on this board are the exact opposite and deserve to be called out
Dont be quick to make assumptions.
I was conventionally attractive when I married. I went from size 4 to size 12. I could look much better if I were a size 6, but I like what I see when I look into the mirror every day. I love mirrors! I have the most beautiful red full lips, a great laugh, a beautiful body, long legs, and a wonderful life. I don't have to be told I am beautiful daily. I can see it, and I feel beautiful and sexy. Ofcourse every woman wants to hear their husband say they are beautiful and sexy. Mine does, but he does not say it everyday. He never has, not even when I was conventionally attractive.
I am surrounded by many conventionally attractive women who don't need daily assurances that they are beautiful and sexy, so I don't think being conventionally attractive is the main issue here. But hey, if thinking so makes you have better sex with your husband, good for you and good for him!
What happens when you are no longer conventionally attractive? What happens when you are older and wrinkly. No more sex?
My wife is middle age and overweight. I am strictly prohibited from talking about her body/looks.
Tell her something you find sexy about her anyway. What’s the worst that can happen?
This is the way! Compliment her on something non-body related. Eyes, smile, hair, outfit, etc. I’ll get roasted for this but I wouldn’t feel comfortable complimenting her body when she’s over weight. If she’s been working out and making progress absolutely call it out and complement her hard work.
Anonymous wrote:I think my husband has a lot of responsibility for how I feel about my body. He is literally the only person who sees me naked and the only person who can make explicit sexual comments about may body.
If DH wasn’t constantly telling me that he likes my body, that he wants to see me wearing xyz, and that he likes one body part or another, then all of my thoughts about my body would be from inside my own head or from my mom. And those are both terrible.
You really need to work on that voice in your head.
I’m okay, really. Terrible was probably a strong word to use. But the reality is that I’m an overweight middle aged mom. I’m not winning any beauty pageants.
It’s just that DH tells me something that he finds attractive about me pretty much every time I see him, so multiple times a day. If I’m going to the gym, he will tell me that he likes my hair in a ponytail so my neck is exposed. If I’m getting home from the gym, he will say that I look good all flushed like that. If I’m in taking the kids to the pool in my middle aged mom tankini, he will say that my butt looks good. If I go in my high waisted bikini, he will wolf whistle and ask if I need help putting sunscreen on. Like touching the torso of his wife of twenty years is super hot and somewhat forbidden.
You might say that men can’t help their wives with body image issues, but they definitely can.
I think I will be single for the foreseeable future if that's the bare minimum we need to do as men. Seriously why do you need me to keep telling you you are still beautiful and multiple times a day. Hey good for you though. Are all married men like this? Wow
The ones who regularly get laid are.
Meh.
I do not know any woman who needs this much attention from their husband.
I am mostly close to first and second generation American women though so maybe there is something in the water here.
Recent immigrants have accepted that men and women are not the same. They rely on their social network for a lot of support. They rely on men for some but not anything near as much as this thread is indicating.
I certainly do. And unless these women are sleeping with their girlfriends, its doubtful theyre getting their fill of sexual desire from them.
Different strokes I guess.
You can get self esteem boost from people other than your spouse. You don't need your spouse telling you are beautiful all the time if other people do. You need it sometimes, sure. But not every day.
The day a woman starts getting sexual fulfillment and her sexual desire needs filled by someone else, is the beginning of the end of the marriage. And certainly not a day when you will be able to expect enthusiastic sex from her (unless she's fantasizing about the other person the whole time)
You assume that the person giving you sexual fulfillment has to be responsible for your self esteem. I don't. And most of the women I know don't.
Yes, the person who gives your sexual "juice" (feelings of desire and being desired) is the person you want to have sex. That's why women often have affairs that start with emotional connection, and then it rolls into sex as well.
I get what you are saying but I dont completely agree. Emotional affairs start well before "sexual juice" happens. Usually people who carry emotional affairs are not necessarily looking for sex or the feelings of being desired. They want to feel heard. These two needs are separate.
When people have crushes at work, its not because their co workers sexually desires them. It's because these people engage with them.
So if your argument is that men have to engage in frequeng discussions with their spouses, I agree. But they don't necessarily have to give them daily compliments on their beauty and sexual desireabilty. Nothing wrong with that, but it' not necessary in most other cultures.
LOL. Emotional affairs and sexual "juice" happens at the exact same time. Women can read men's faces, and desire is often one of the most visible male emotions. When that male coworker or friend is staring at her body, or looking at her across the room with lust... that's the juice flowing. When he says how beautiful she is, how gorgeous she is in that dress, how lucky her husband is, etc... that's the juice. It's a flow and a buildup and a process, and the emotional connection and the male desire flowing into her and unleashing her own desire is a huge part. But many men will never get this which is why a handful of charismatic, sexually confident men corner the market and the rest of y'all just whine and complain and jerk off alone.
So you think all these women with work crushes have these crushes because men at work tell them they are beautiful or look at them with sexual desire? You are completely wrong. Lol
Absolutely. The crushes that actually lead to sex do
Good that you narrowed it down to " crushes that lead to sex".
Most work crushes do not lead to sex. In most cases women are attracted to men who are being nice to everyone without any sexual intention. Many times these women are not the men's type but the men are decent humans who engage politely and attentively with everyone at work.
sure. Hence proving everyone's point- the guys who actually get laid are the ones who show their sexual desire to a woman. You seem clueless with women
Yeah. I am clueless about women like you who are intentionally obtuse.
Let me try one more time: Women have work crushes on men who show them no sexual desire and men who may not even sexually desire them. Do you know that crushes include sexual desire?
So women have sexual feelings/ desire/ crushes towards men they work with even when these men show no sexual desire towards them. Because these women's sexual desire is not necessarily tied to men constantly telling them or making them feel they are beautiful/sexually desirable.
Your argument then that women need daily beauty affirmations from a man to want to have sex with him falls flat in the face of most work crushes. Those affirmations are usually absent, yet women sexually desire those co workers.
Let me explain this because YOURE too obtuse to understand (same reason you cant get laid):
Yes, women can experience spontaneous sexual attraction towards men. But what differentiates a crush from actually getting SEX is how these men speak to them, how they escalate and move things along. And that's almost certainly from expressing desire. As women have told you over and over again.... this is what gets the female libido flowing towards sex. For whatever reason, you are committed to not understanding, which is why other men get to have sex and you dont.
Lol. What distinguishes crushes from actually getting action from a married woman is a woman and a man with low self esteem and questionable morals. Its not a win.
I am a woman who regularly has crushes on men. The moment they send any signals my way, I am healed of the crush. Who wants to sleep with a man vying for a married woman. Eewww.
Crushes are not intrinsically moral things. People have crushes based on physical attractiveness, and often nothing happens. But a huge proportion of sexual relationships, affairs or otherwise, happen as a result of the woman experiencing the man's overwhelming desire and attraction for her. It's intoxicating
Sexual affairs happen because someone expresses direct sexual interest. News at 11. Big deal.
Attraction and interest is not necessarily the result of direct expression of sexual interest.
Youre finally starting to get it... eureka! Yes, when men express sexual longing and desire for women, it often turns the woman on and leads to sex.
Now... was that so hard to concede?
That is a different poster. I am the PP you've been going back and forth with. I don't think they are agreeing with you though. Lol
They were, whether that was their intention or not being a totally different story But they did prove the point quite nicely.
I’m the poster, and a woman. And I disagreed with you. Attraction has many more components than just direct sexual expression. And as a PP above said, direct sexual expression can be a turn off in some circumstances.
This discussion lost the plot along the way somewhere and just turned into a dumb fight. Yes, a man can do things to make his partner more interested. But putting as much responsibility for it on the man, as you have been, is self defeating.
It didnt lose the plot, although you might've. Women on this thread have been saying, from the beginning, that they get turned on by their male partner expressing desire and if husbands want to get laid, they should show desire for their wife. The lazy husbands of DCUM have been whining about it, and then you came in to white night for them but accidentally took our side. Thank you!
I am a PP who has been debating before this PP you are responding to came in. Sorry to disappoint you, but I am a woman.
I am the woman who has crushes left and right. These have nothing to do with men's desire for me. Quite the opposite. Decency in character and some charm turns me on. A man does not have to think I am beautiful or sexually desirable in order for me to crush on him.
I am sexually attracted to my DH because he is a decent guy, a great father to my kids and he is tall and bow-legged with a deep voice. He does not need to constantly tell me I am beautiful or sexually desirable because I know I am (not really beautiful by objective standards but who cares - it's my appearance and I like it) And even if I thought I wasn't, that wouldn't stop me from wanting to have sex because ugly people have sex, get married and live happy lives.
What turns me and most women I know off is meaness, lack of empathy and lack of emotional connection. Perhaps for some women, not telling them they are beautiful or sexy is a symptom that their husband is not emotionally connected to them. Or perhaps women are not a monolith and we need different things to be interested.
So you admit to not being conventionally attractive then say that you develop crushes without the men reciprocating... okay? I mean of course some unattractive women are not going to experience the magnetic allure of a man being deeply, lustfully, overwhelmingly drawn to you. That doesnt make it any less intoxicating. Maybe if you got more male attention you'd understand...
So is the problem that you married someone who has lost the "magnetic allure" for you or did you marry someone who never had it for you?
To be honest, that magnetic allure sounds like lust that everyone experiences at the begining of relationships.
No, I have a DH who is very attracted to me and makes it known how sexy he finds me. But then again, he had lots of success with women before he met me and isn't a clueless bozo who had to settle for a "conventionally unattractive" woman (like your husband). He knows exactly how to talk to women, how to communicate how sexy he finds me, and that's exactly why we have an active sex life. But the whining, loser men on this board are the exact opposite and deserve to be called out
Dont be quick to make assumptions.
I was conventionally attractive when I married. I went from size 4 to size 12. I could look much better if I were a size 6, but I like what I see when I look into the mirror every day. I love mirrors! I have the most beautiful red full lips, a great laugh, a beautiful body, long legs, and a wonderful life. I don't have to be told I am beautiful daily. I can see it, and I feel beautiful and sexy. Ofcourse every woman wants to hear their husband say they are beautiful and sexy. Mine does, but he does not say it everyday. He never has, not even when I was conventionally attractive.
I am surrounded by many conventionally attractive women who don't need daily assurances that they are beautiful and sexy, so I don't think being conventionally attractive is the main issue here. But hey, if thinking so makes you have better sex with your husband, good for you and good for him!
What happens when you are no longer conventionally attractive? What happens when you are older and wrinkly. No more sex?
My wife is middle age and overweight. I am strictly prohibited from talking about her body/looks.
Yep. I once complimented my wife that I loved how her ass looked in her leggings. Wow. She went on a tirade that I didn't need to remind her that she was fat.
Forgot to add that I agree with you that the men whining about this are losers. If your wife needs to be told she is beautiful and sexy everyday in order for you to get some, then that's what you do.
Dance, monkey, dance!
What's the alternative here? whine and pout until you get your wants and needs?
What a toddler.
The toddler is the one who needs constant praise and reassurance or she sulks and pouts.
Men get like one compliment a decade but women need them all day every day just to function normally. Who is the toddler again?
Forgot to add that I agree with you that the men whining about this are losers. If your wife needs to be told she is beautiful and sexy everyday in order for you to get some, then that's what you do.
Dance, monkey, dance!
What's the alternative here? whine and pout until you get your wants and needs?
What a toddler.
The toddler is the one who needs constant praise and reassurance or she sulks and pouts.
Men get like one compliment a decade but women need them all day every day just to function normally. Who is the toddler again?
Maybe if you weren’t the kind of person who felt like complimenting others was a burden, people would want to compliment you more.
I teach my kids (2 boys, 2 girls) to compliment something about their friends and relatives pretty much every time they see them. “I like your hat.” “Those are cool shoes.” “Your house looks really nice nana.”
It’s not hard if you get in the habit of it.
Forgot to add that I agree with you that the men whining about this are losers. If your wife needs to be told she is beautiful and sexy everyday in order for you to get some, then that's what you do.
Dance, monkey, dance!
What's the alternative here? whine and pout until you get your wants and needs?
What a toddler.
The toddler is the one who needs constant praise and reassurance or she sulks and pouts.
Men get like one compliment a decade but women need them all day every day just to function normally. Who is the toddler again?
Maybe if you weren’t the kind of person who felt like complimenting others was a burden, people would want to compliment you more.
I teach my kids (2 boys, 2 girls) to compliment something about their friends and relatives pretty much every time they see them. “I like your hat.” “Those are cool shoes.” “Your house looks really nice nana.”
It’s not hard if you get in the habit of it.
I'm West African and in my culture complimenting people is so ingrained that when you even meet a stranger within a few minutes you will find something to compliment them on. Because we do it often it's not unnatural and we don't even realize we are doing it. For example, I know men whose wife will buy a new outfit wear it and won't even realize it's a new outfit because they are not paying attention.
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.
But they did prove the point quite nicely. 