Style choices that age women in their 40s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone here pointed out that after your 20s, larger breasts age you. It's hard to explain how, but when I tried on a shirt with a padded pushup bra and a regular light bra, the extra boob size definitely made me look older. It's subtle but there was a difference. So throw out the miracle bras or, if you're bustier, go for a smoothing sports bra style.

I know people are upset about this one, but it's true. I think people are upset because they know it's true. Very large breasts look matronly after a certain age. The word "bosom" comes to mind.

It's a trade off. Women who get a lot of attention for their boobs in their youth wind up looking grandmotherly faster because of those boobs. Women who with small boobs get to look youthful a little longer. I feel like it kind of balances out in the end.

Where’s the trade off? You know how much of that attention was from pervy older men? You know how much of a PITA big boobs are to have while trying to run, stay cool in the summer or nurse?

You just suck, full stop. Go sit in the corner and soak your head.

Lady, pervy old guys are creepy to everyone. That wasn’t something special that happened to you because you had a big rack. Lots of perverts like the pre-pubescent look of a flat chest. Perverts are equal opportunity.

But if you’ve got decent sized boobs and you’re heterosexual, bi, or a femme lesbian, guarantee you worked them for attention when you were young. Back when you were going out to bars and parties, it was tits up, because it got people to pay attention to you and made you feel good. Great.

And now those same tits are drooping. They are probably even bigger thanks to pregnancy and breastfeeding. And yes, they are making you look a little matronly. Oh well, that’s life.

Women with small or no boobs get body shamed for it all the time, btw. From puberty. You’ve probably participated in it. But I guess that doesn’t count because it didn’t happen to you.

Women. We really are our own worst enemy.

Yeah… b cup here…. You sound incredibly bitter. Maybe you should work on body acceptance.

I mean, I agree, but I also think it’s telling that this anger/bitterness is coming from someone who was obviously shamed for being flat chested when she was younger.

Like she’s being rude, but I imagine it’s coming from a place of hurt from being told for years that there was something wrong with HER body. So there might be a lesson in there for everyone.

This is quite literally a thread about middle aged ladies. So yes, let’s teach our daughters and sons not to body shame (which most of us likely do). But maybe we stop acting like wounded Bs in our 40s?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone here pointed out that after your 20s, larger breasts age you. It's hard to explain how, but when I tried on a shirt with a padded pushup bra and a regular light bra, the extra boob size definitely made me look older. It's subtle but there was a difference. So throw out the miracle bras or, if you're bustier, go for a smoothing sports bra style.

I know people are upset about this one, but it's true. I think people are upset because they know it's true. Very large breasts look matronly after a certain age. The word "bosom" comes to mind.

It's a trade off. Women who get a lot of attention for their boobs in their youth wind up looking grandmotherly faster because of those boobs. Women who with small boobs get to look youthful a little longer. I feel like it kind of balances out in the end.

Where’s the trade off? You know how much of that attention was from pervy older men? You know how much of a PITA big boobs are to have while trying to run, stay cool in the summer or nurse?

You just suck, full stop. Go sit in the corner and soak your head.

Lady, pervy old guys are creepy to everyone. That wasn’t something special that happened to you because you had a big rack. Lots of perverts like the pre-pubescent look of a flat chest. Perverts are equal opportunity.

But if you’ve got decent sized boobs and you’re heterosexual, bi, or a femme lesbian, guarantee you worked them for attention when you were young. Back when you were going out to bars and parties, it was tits up, because it got people to pay attention to you and made you feel good. Great.

And now those same tits are drooping. They are probably even bigger thanks to pregnancy and breastfeeding. And yes, they are making you look a little matronly. Oh well, that’s life.

Women with small or no boobs get body shamed for it all the time, btw. From puberty. You’ve probably participated in it. But I guess that doesn’t count because it didn’t happen to you.

Women. We really are our own worst enemy.

Yeah… b cup here…. You sound incredibly bitter. Maybe you should work on body acceptance.

I mean, I agree, but I also think it’s telling that this anger/bitterness is coming from someone who was obviously shamed for being flat chested when she was younger.

Like she’s being rude, but I imagine it’s coming from a place of hurt from being told for years that there was something wrong with HER body. So there might be a lesson in there for everyone.

Agreed, and I'll join you in starting that it's wrong and cruel to tell people with flatter chests that they can't be womanly. My God, women turn heads with a very slim and/or small-breasted body shape all the time. All the time!

Also, it's a pretty gross look to try to get yours by making other women feel bad about themselves, too. It's also patiently untrue -- and you know it. She knows it. All you end up doing with that tack is to reinforce to yourself that you have to base your own feeling good on a lie. This isn't good for her, either.

PP. Right, but the specific lesson I was talking about is that as women, we set ourselves up for this kind of tit for tat (pun intended).

I’ve seen/heard girls and women tear each other down for their appearance all the time. Shaming each other for weight, breast size, how their butts look, acne, wrinkles, being tan or not, hair, body hair, all of it. And it’s women doing it to each other. It is no surprise to me that this results in more criticism, as women who feel shamed for their bodies turn around and push it onto others.

This thread is about 40+ women, but a lot of us are still carrying around hurt from body shame that started when we were girls. And that’s why this conversation sucks. When women have been made to feel ugly and flawed for 40 years, they are going to be hypercritical and nasty. So maybe the solution here is to stop criticizing the bodies of girls and young women, stop telling them every way their bodies are wrong and how to fix them, and then they might hit 40 and not be like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone here pointed out that after your 20s, larger breasts age you. It's hard to explain how, but when I tried on a shirt with a padded pushup bra and a regular light bra, the extra boob size definitely made me look older. It's subtle but there was a difference. So throw out the miracle bras or, if you're bustier, go for a smoothing sports bra style.

I know people are upset about this one, but it's true. I think people are upset because they know it's true. Very large breasts look matronly after a certain age. The word "bosom" comes to mind.

It's a trade off. Women who get a lot of attention for their boobs in their youth wind up looking grandmotherly faster because of those boobs. Women who with small boobs get to look youthful a little longer. I feel like it kind of balances out in the end.

Where’s the trade off? You know how much of that attention was from pervy older men? You know how much of a PITA big boobs are to have while trying to run, stay cool in the summer or nurse?

You just suck, full stop. Go sit in the corner and soak your head.

Lady, pervy old guys are creepy to everyone. That wasn’t something special that happened to you because you had a big rack. Lots of perverts like the pre-pubescent look of a flat chest. Perverts are equal opportunity.

But if you’ve got decent sized boobs and you’re heterosexual, bi, or a femme lesbian, guarantee you worked them for attention when you were young. Back when you were going out to bars and parties, it was tits up, because it got people to pay attention to you and made you feel good. Great.

And now those same tits are drooping. They are probably even bigger thanks to pregnancy and breastfeeding. And yes, they are making you look a little matronly. Oh well, that’s life.

Women with small or no boobs get body shamed for it all the time, btw. From puberty. You’ve probably participated in it. But I guess that doesn’t count because it didn’t happen to you.

Women. We really are our own worst enemy.

Yeah… b cup here…. You sound incredibly bitter. Maybe you should work on body acceptance.

I mean, I agree, but I also think it’s telling that this anger/bitterness is coming from someone who was obviously shamed for being flat chested when she was younger.

Like she’s being rude, but I imagine it’s coming from a place of hurt from being told for years that there was something wrong with HER body. So there might be a lesson in there for everyone.

This is quite literally a thread about middle aged ladies. So yes, let’s teach our daughters and sons not to body shame (which most of us likely do). But maybe we stop acting like wounded Bs in our 40s?

I guess one question I have is whether some of the women who are hurt by PP’s comments about large breasts ever poked fun at a woman for having small breasts? Like if you ever teased a classmate fur being “flat as a board” or made passive aggressive comments about how men prefer curvy women, then you contributed to this dynamic. Doesn’t make it right, but getting mad at someone for doing to you what you’ve done to them isn’t right either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone here pointed out that after your 20s, larger breasts age you. It's hard to explain how, but when I tried on a shirt with a padded pushup bra and a regular light bra, the extra boob size definitely made me look older. It's subtle but there was a difference. So throw out the miracle bras or, if you're bustier, go for a smoothing sports bra style.

I know people are upset about this one, but it's true. I think people are upset because they know it's true. Very large breasts look matronly after a certain age. The word "bosom" comes to mind.

It's a trade off. Women who get a lot of attention for their boobs in their youth wind up looking grandmotherly faster because of those boobs. Women who with small boobs get to look youthful a little longer. I feel like it kind of balances out in the end.

Where’s the trade off? You know how much of that attention was from pervy older men? You know how much of a PITA big boobs are to have while trying to run, stay cool in the summer or nurse?

You just suck, full stop. Go sit in the corner and soak your head.

Lady, pervy old guys are creepy to everyone. That wasn’t something special that happened to you because you had a big rack. Lots of perverts like the pre-pubescent look of a flat chest. Perverts are equal opportunity.

But if you’ve got decent sized boobs and you’re heterosexual, bi, or a femme lesbian, guarantee you worked them for attention when you were young. Back when you were going out to bars and parties, it was tits up, because it got people to pay attention to you and made you feel good. Great.

And now those same tits are drooping. They are probably even bigger thanks to pregnancy and breastfeeding. And yes, they are making you look a little matronly. Oh well, that’s life.

Women with small or no boobs get body shamed for it all the time, btw. From puberty. You’ve probably participated in it. But I guess that doesn’t count because it didn’t happen to you.

Women. We really are our own worst enemy.

Yeah… b cup here…. You sound incredibly bitter. Maybe you should work on body acceptance.

I mean, I agree, but I also think it’s telling that this anger/bitterness is coming from someone who was obviously shamed for being flat chested when she was younger.

Like she’s being rude, but I imagine it’s coming from a place of hurt from being told for years that there was something wrong with HER body. So there might be a lesson in there for everyone.

Agreed, and I'll join you in starting that it's wrong and cruel to tell people with flatter chests that they can't be womanly. My God, women turn heads with a very slim and/or small-breasted body shape all the time. All the time!

Also, it's a pretty gross look to try to get yours by making other women feel bad about themselves, too. It's also patiently untrue -- and you know it. She knows it. All you end up doing with that tack is to reinforce to yourself that you have to base your own feeling good on a lie. This isn't good for her, either.

PP. Right, but the specific lesson I was talking about is that as women, we set ourselves up for this kind of tit for tat (pun intended).

I’ve seen/heard girls and women tear each other down for their appearance all the time. Shaming each other for weight, breast size, how their butts look, acne, wrinkles, being tan or not, hair, body hair, all of it. And it’s women doing it to each other. It is no surprise to me that this results in more criticism, as women who feel shamed for their bodies turn around and push it onto others.

This thread is about 40+ women, but a lot of us are still carrying around hurt from body shame that started when we were girls. And that’s why this conversation sucks. When women have been made to feel ugly and flawed for 40 years, they are going to be hypercritical and nasty. So maybe the solution here is to stop criticizing the bodies of girls and young women, stop telling them every way their bodies are wrong and how to fix them, and then they might hit 40 and not be like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone here pointed out that after your 20s, larger breasts age you. It's hard to explain how, but when I tried on a shirt with a padded pushup bra and a regular light bra, the extra boob size definitely made me look older. It's subtle but there was a difference. So throw out the miracle bras or, if you're bustier, go for a smoothing sports bra style.

I know people are upset about this one, but it's true. I think people are upset because they know it's true. Very large breasts look matronly after a certain age. The word "bosom" comes to mind.

It's a trade off. Women who get a lot of attention for their boobs in their youth wind up looking grandmotherly faster because of those boobs. Women who with small boobs get to look youthful a little longer. I feel like it kind of balances out in the end.

Where’s the trade off? You know how much of that attention was from pervy older men? You know how much of a PITA big boobs are to have while trying to run, stay cool in the summer or nurse?

You just suck, full stop. Go sit in the corner and soak your head.

Lady, pervy old guys are creepy to everyone. That wasn’t something special that happened to you because you had a big rack. Lots of perverts like the pre-pubescent look of a flat chest. Perverts are equal opportunity.

But if you’ve got decent sized boobs and you’re heterosexual, bi, or a femme lesbian, guarantee you worked them for attention when you were young. Back when you were going out to bars and parties, it was tits up, because it got people to pay attention to you and made you feel good. Great.

And now those same tits are drooping. They are probably even bigger thanks to pregnancy and breastfeeding. And yes, they are making you look a little matronly. Oh well, that’s life.

Women with small or no boobs get body shamed for it all the time, btw. From puberty. You’ve probably participated in it. But I guess that doesn’t count because it didn’t happen to you.

Women. We really are our own worst enemy.

Yeah… b cup here…. You sound incredibly bitter. Maybe you should work on body acceptance.

I mean, I agree, but I also think it’s telling that this anger/bitterness is coming from someone who was obviously shamed for being flat chested when she was younger.

Like she’s being rude, but I imagine it’s coming from a place of hurt from being told for years that there was something wrong with HER body. So there might be a lesson in there for everyone.

This is quite literally a thread about middle aged ladies. So yes, let’s teach our daughters and sons not to body shame (which most of us likely do). But maybe we stop acting like wounded Bs in our 40s?

I guess one question I have is whether some of the women who are hurt by PP’s comments about large breasts ever poked fun at a woman for having small breasts? Like if you ever teased a classmate fur being “flat as a board” or made passive aggressive comments about how men prefer curvy women, then you contributed to this dynamic. Doesn’t make it right, but getting mad at someone for doing to you what you’ve done to them isn’t right either.

I am medium chested and have never engaged in negative body to another woman. (And wrote the comments you responded to). The comments were rude AF. You seem to think decades “payback” on strangers is ok. If you really are in your 30s/40s, you have growing up to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone here pointed out that after your 20s, larger breasts age you. It's hard to explain how, but when I tried on a shirt with a padded pushup bra and a regular light bra, the extra boob size definitely made me look older. It's subtle but there was a difference. So throw out the miracle bras or, if you're bustier, go for a smoothing sports bra style.

I know people are upset about this one, but it's true. I think people are upset because they know it's true. Very large breasts look matronly after a certain age. The word "bosom" comes to mind.

It's a trade off. Women who get a lot of attention for their boobs in their youth wind up looking grandmotherly faster because of those boobs. Women who with small boobs get to look youthful a little longer. I feel like it kind of balances out in the end.

Where’s the trade off? You know how much of that attention was from pervy older men? You know how much of a PITA big boobs are to have while trying to run, stay cool in the summer or nurse?

You just suck, full stop. Go sit in the corner and soak your head.

Lady, pervy old guys are creepy to everyone. That wasn’t something special that happened to you because you had a big rack. Lots of perverts like the pre-pubescent look of a flat chest. Perverts are equal opportunity.

But if you’ve got decent sized boobs and you’re heterosexual, bi, or a femme lesbian, guarantee you worked them for attention when you were young. Back when you were going out to bars and parties, it was tits up, because it got people to pay attention to you and made you feel good. Great.

And now those same tits are drooping. They are probably even bigger thanks to pregnancy and breastfeeding. And yes, they are making you look a little matronly. Oh well, that’s life.

Women with small or no boobs get body shamed for it all the time, btw. From puberty. You’ve probably participated in it. But I guess that doesn’t count because it didn’t happen to you.

Women. We really are our own worst enemy.

Yeah… b cup here…. You sound incredibly bitter. Maybe you should work on body acceptance.

I mean, I agree, but I also think it’s telling that this anger/bitterness is coming from someone who was obviously shamed for being flat chested when she was younger.

Like she’s being rude, but I imagine it’s coming from a place of hurt from being told for years that there was something wrong with HER body. So there might be a lesson in there for everyone.

This is quite literally a thread about middle aged ladies. So yes, let’s teach our daughters and sons not to body shame (which most of us likely do). But maybe we stop acting like wounded Bs in our 40s?

I guess one question I have is whether some of the women who are hurt by PP’s comments about large breasts ever poked fun at a woman for having small breasts? Like if you ever teased a classmate fur being “flat as a board” or made passive aggressive comments about how men prefer curvy women, then you contributed to this dynamic. Doesn’t make it right, but getting mad at someone for doing to you what you’ve done to them isn’t right either.

I am medium chested and have never engaged in negative body to another woman. (And wrote the comments you responded to). The comments were rude AF. You seem to think decades “payback” on strangers is ok. If you really are in your 30s/40s, you have growing up to do.

I don’t think payback is ok and I disagree with PP’s comments. And good for you if you’ve never criticized another woman’s body. But most women do engage in body shaming at some point.

I just found the PP’s comment about getting criticized and body shamed for being flat chested interesting. I think she’s lashing out in large part because she has been taught be others that her body is wrong, and that women with larger breasts are “correct”. If that’s what you’ve been told (by other women no less), is it at all surprising that she’d want to flip that script? It’s a defense mechanism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone here pointed out that after your 20s, larger breasts age you. It's hard to explain how, but when I tried on a shirt with a padded pushup bra and a regular light bra, the extra boob size definitely made me look older. It's subtle but there was a difference. So throw out the miracle bras or, if you're bustier, go for a smoothing sports bra style.

I know people are upset about this one, but it's true. I think people are upset because they know it's true. Very large breasts look matronly after a certain age. The word "bosom" comes to mind.

It's a trade off. Women who get a lot of attention for their boobs in their youth wind up looking grandmotherly faster because of those boobs. Women who with small boobs get to look youthful a little longer. I feel like it kind of balances out in the end.

Where’s the trade off? You know how much of that attention was from pervy older men? You know how much of a PITA big boobs are to have while trying to run, stay cool in the summer or nurse?

You just suck, full stop. Go sit in the corner and soak your head.

Lady, pervy old guys are creepy to everyone. That wasn’t something special that happened to you because you had a big rack. Lots of perverts like the pre-pubescent look of a flat chest. Perverts are equal opportunity.

But if you’ve got decent sized boobs and you’re heterosexual, bi, or a femme lesbian, guarantee you worked them for attention when you were young. Back when you were going out to bars and parties, it was tits up, because it got people to pay attention to you and made you feel good. Great.

And now those same tits are drooping. They are probably even bigger thanks to pregnancy and breastfeeding. And yes, they are making you look a little matronly. Oh well, that’s life.

Women with small or no boobs get body shamed for it all the time, btw. From puberty. You’ve probably participated in it. But I guess that doesn’t count because it didn’t happen to you.

Women. We really are our own worst enemy.

Yeah… b cup here…. You sound incredibly bitter. Maybe you should work on body acceptance.

I mean, I agree, but I also think it’s telling that this anger/bitterness is coming from someone who was obviously shamed for being flat chested when she was younger.

Like she’s being rude, but I imagine it’s coming from a place of hurt from being told for years that there was something wrong with HER body. So there might be a lesson in there for everyone.

This is quite literally a thread about middle aged ladies. So yes, let’s teach our daughters and sons not to body shame (which most of us likely do). But maybe we stop acting like wounded Bs in our 40s?

I guess one question I have is whether some of the women who are hurt by PP’s comments about large breasts ever poked fun at a woman for having small breasts? Like if you ever teased a classmate fur being “flat as a board” or made passive aggressive comments about how men prefer curvy women, then you contributed to this dynamic. Doesn’t make it right, but getting mad at someone for doing to you what you’ve done to them isn’t right either.

I am medium chested and have never engaged in negative body to another woman. (And wrote the comments you responded to). The comments were rude AF. You seem to think decades “payback” on strangers is ok. If you really are in your 30s/40s, you have growing up to do.

I don’t think payback is ok and I disagree with PP’s comments. And good for you if you’ve never criticized another woman’s body. But most women do engage in body shaming at some point.

I just found the PP’s comment about getting criticized and body shamed for being flat chested interesting. I think she’s lashing out in large part because she has been taught be others that her body is wrong, and that women with larger breasts are “correct”. If that’s what you’ve been told (by other women no less), is it at all surprising that she’d want to flip that script? It’s a defense mechanism.

Do you have teenage daughters? I do and they do very fragile about their bodies even though all seem perfect at that age; so yes, I understand. But we are not talking about teenagers and that’s what I’m having a hard time giving a pass to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone here pointed out that after your 20s, larger breasts age you. It's hard to explain how, but when I tried on a shirt with a padded pushup bra and a regular light bra, the extra boob size definitely made me look older. It's subtle but there was a difference. So throw out the miracle bras or, if you're bustier, go for a smoothing sports bra style.

I know people are upset about this one, but it's true. I think people are upset because they know it's true. Very large breasts look matronly after a certain age. The word "bosom" comes to mind.

It's a trade off. Women who get a lot of attention for their boobs in their youth wind up looking grandmotherly faster because of those boobs. Women who with small boobs get to look youthful a little longer. I feel like it kind of balances out in the end.

Where’s the trade off? You know how much of that attention was from pervy older men? You know how much of a PITA big boobs are to have while trying to run, stay cool in the summer or nurse?

You just suck, full stop. Go sit in the corner and soak your head.

Lady, pervy old guys are creepy to everyone. That wasn’t something special that happened to you because you had a big rack. Lots of perverts like the pre-pubescent look of a flat chest. Perverts are equal opportunity.

But if you’ve got decent sized boobs and you’re heterosexual, bi, or a femme lesbian, guarantee you worked them for attention when you were young. Back when you were going out to bars and parties, it was tits up, because it got people to pay attention to you and made you feel good. Great.

And now those same tits are drooping. They are probably even bigger thanks to pregnancy and breastfeeding. And yes, they are making you look a little matronly. Oh well, that’s life.

Women with small or no boobs get body shamed for it all the time, btw. From puberty. You’ve probably participated in it. But I guess that doesn’t count because it didn’t happen to you.

Women. We really are our own worst enemy.

Yeah… b cup here…. You sound incredibly bitter. Maybe you should work on body acceptance.

I mean, I agree, but I also think it’s telling that this anger/bitterness is coming from someone who was obviously shamed for being flat chested when she was younger.

Like she’s being rude, but I imagine it’s coming from a place of hurt from being told for years that there was something wrong with HER body. So there might be a lesson in there for everyone.

This is quite literally a thread about middle aged ladies. So yes, let’s teach our daughters and sons not to body shame (which most of us likely do). But maybe we stop acting like wounded Bs in our 40s?

I guess one question I have is whether some of the women who are hurt by PP’s comments about large breasts ever poked fun at a woman for having small breasts? Like if you ever teased a classmate fur being “flat as a board” or made passive aggressive comments about how men prefer curvy women, then you contributed to this dynamic. Doesn’t make it right, but getting mad at someone for doing to you what you’ve done to them isn’t right either.

No, most women do not make fun of other people’s bodily characteristics which they can’t control. It’s revealing that you think they do; and it says more about you than the rest of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone here pointed out that after your 20s, larger breasts age you. It's hard to explain how, but when I tried on a shirt with a padded pushup bra and a regular light bra, the extra boob size definitely made me look older. It's subtle but there was a difference. So throw out the miracle bras or, if you're bustier, go for a smoothing sports bra style.

I know people are upset about this one, but it's true. I think people are upset because they know it's true. Very large breasts look matronly after a certain age. The word "bosom" comes to mind.

It's a trade off. Women who get a lot of attention for their boobs in their youth wind up looking grandmotherly faster because of those boobs. Women who with small boobs get to look youthful a little longer. I feel like it kind of balances out in the end.

Where’s the trade off? You know how much of that attention was from pervy older men? You know how much of a PITA big boobs are to have while trying to run, stay cool in the summer or nurse?

You just suck, full stop. Go sit in the corner and soak your head.

Lady, pervy old guys are creepy to everyone. That wasn’t something special that happened to you because you had a big rack. Lots of perverts like the pre-pubescent look of a flat chest. Perverts are equal opportunity.

But if you’ve got decent sized boobs and you’re heterosexual, bi, or a femme lesbian, guarantee you worked them for attention when you were young. Back when you were going out to bars and parties, it was tits up, because it got people to pay attention to you and made you feel good. Great.

And now those same tits are drooping. They are probably even bigger thanks to pregnancy and breastfeeding. And yes, they are making you look a little matronly. Oh well, that’s life.

Women with small or no boobs get body shamed for it all the time, btw. From puberty. You’ve probably participated in it. But I guess that doesn’t count because it didn’t happen to you.

Women. We really are our own worst enemy.

Yeah… b cup here…. You sound incredibly bitter. Maybe you should work on body acceptance.

I mean, I agree, but I also think it’s telling that this anger/bitterness is coming from someone who was obviously shamed for being flat chested when she was younger.

Like she’s being rude, but I imagine it’s coming from a place of hurt from being told for years that there was something wrong with HER body. So there might be a lesson in there for everyone.

This is quite literally a thread about middle aged ladies. So yes, let’s teach our daughters and sons not to body shame (which most of us likely do). But maybe we stop acting like wounded Bs in our 40s?

I guess one question I have is whether some of the women who are hurt by PP’s comments about large breasts ever poked fun at a woman for having small breasts? Like if you ever teased a classmate fur being “flat as a board” or made passive aggressive comments about how men prefer curvy women, then you contributed to this dynamic. Doesn’t make it right, but getting mad at someone for doing to you what you’ve done to them isn’t right either.

No, most women do not make fun of other people’s bodily characteristics which they can’t control. It’s revealing that you think they do; and it says more about you than the rest of us.

Most of the women I have known have said something disparaging about another woman’s body at some point or another. I have too. Not proud of it, but I have.

It was especially common in my teens and 20s for women to “joke” about each others bodies. People have gotten more sensitive and thoughtful in the last 5-10 years, but the 90s and 00s were not kind to women or our bodies, and we were definitely our own worst enemies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone here pointed out that after your 20s, larger breasts age you. It's hard to explain how, but when I tried on a shirt with a padded pushup bra and a regular light bra, the extra boob size definitely made me look older. It's subtle but there was a difference. So throw out the miracle bras or, if you're bustier, go for a smoothing sports bra style.

I know people are upset about this one, but it's true. I think people are upset because they know it's true. Very large breasts look matronly after a certain age. The word "bosom" comes to mind.

It's a trade off. Women who get a lot of attention for their boobs in their youth wind up looking grandmotherly faster because of those boobs. Women who with small boobs get to look youthful a little longer. I feel like it kind of balances out in the end.

Where’s the trade off? You know how much of that attention was from pervy older men? You know how much of a PITA big boobs are to have while trying to run, stay cool in the summer or nurse?

You just suck, full stop. Go sit in the corner and soak your head.

Lady, pervy old guys are creepy to everyone. That wasn’t something special that happened to you because you had a big rack. Lots of perverts like the pre-pubescent look of a flat chest. Perverts are equal opportunity.

But if you’ve got decent sized boobs and you’re heterosexual, bi, or a femme lesbian, guarantee you worked them for attention when you were young. Back when you were going out to bars and parties, it was tits up, because it got people to pay attention to you and made you feel good. Great.

And now those same tits are drooping. They are probably even bigger thanks to pregnancy and breastfeeding. And yes, they are making you look a little matronly. Oh well, that’s life.

Women with small or no boobs get body shamed for it all the time, btw. From puberty. You’ve probably participated in it. But I guess that doesn’t count because it didn’t happen to you.

Women. We really are our own worst enemy.

Yeah… b cup here…. You sound incredibly bitter. Maybe you should work on body acceptance.

I mean, I agree, but I also think it’s telling that this anger/bitterness is coming from someone who was obviously shamed for being flat chested when she was younger.

Like she’s being rude, but I imagine it’s coming from a place of hurt from being told for years that there was something wrong with HER body. So there might be a lesson in there for everyone.

This is quite literally a thread about middle aged ladies. So yes, let’s teach our daughters and sons not to body shame (which most of us likely do). But maybe we stop acting like wounded Bs in our 40s?

I guess one question I have is whether some of the women who are hurt by PP’s comments about large breasts ever poked fun at a woman for having small breasts? Like if you ever teased a classmate fur being “flat as a board” or made passive aggressive comments about how men prefer curvy women, then you contributed to this dynamic. Doesn’t make it right, but getting mad at someone for doing to you what you’ve done to them isn’t right either.

No, most women do not make fun of other people’s bodily characteristics which they can’t control. It’s revealing that you think they do; and it says more about you than the rest of us.

Most of the women I have known have said something disparaging about another woman’s body at some point or another. I have too. Not proud of it, but I have.

It was especially common in my teens and 20s for women to “joke” about each others bodies. People have gotten more sensitive and thoughtful in the last 5-10 years, but the 90s and 00s were not kind to women or our bodies, and we were definitely our own worst enemies.

Sounds like you need to work on yourself and find new friends. I have never tolerated mean girls, in the 90s or now. It is really not hard to not associate with bad people. Ask yourself why you need to put down others to feel better about yourself. Therapy can help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone here pointed out that after your 20s, larger breasts age you. It's hard to explain how, but when I tried on a shirt with a padded pushup bra and a regular light bra, the extra boob size definitely made me look older. It's subtle but there was a difference. So throw out the miracle bras or, if you're bustier, go for a smoothing sports bra style.

I know people are upset about this one, but it's true. I think people are upset because they know it's true. Very large breasts look matronly after a certain age. The word "bosom" comes to mind.

It's a trade off. Women who get a lot of attention for their boobs in their youth wind up looking grandmotherly faster because of those boobs. Women who with small boobs get to look youthful a little longer. I feel like it kind of balances out in the end.

Where’s the trade off? You know how much of that attention was from pervy older men? You know how much of a PITA big boobs are to have while trying to run, stay cool in the summer or nurse?

You just suck, full stop. Go sit in the corner and soak your head.

Lady, pervy old guys are creepy to everyone. That wasn’t something special that happened to you because you had a big rack. Lots of perverts like the pre-pubescent look of a flat chest. Perverts are equal opportunity.

But if you’ve got decent sized boobs and you’re heterosexual, bi, or a femme lesbian, guarantee you worked them for attention when you were young. Back when you were going out to bars and parties, it was tits up, because it got people to pay attention to you and made you feel good. Great.

And now those same tits are drooping. They are probably even bigger thanks to pregnancy and breastfeeding. And yes, they are making you look a little matronly. Oh well, that’s life.

Women with small or no boobs get body shamed for it all the time, btw. From puberty. You’ve probably participated in it. But I guess that doesn’t count because it didn’t happen to you.

Women. We really are our own worst enemy.

Yeah… b cup here…. You sound incredibly bitter. Maybe you should work on body acceptance.

I mean, I agree, but I also think it’s telling that this anger/bitterness is coming from someone who was obviously shamed for being flat chested when she was younger.

Like she’s being rude, but I imagine it’s coming from a place of hurt from being told for years that there was something wrong with HER body. So there might be a lesson in there for everyone.

This is quite literally a thread about middle aged ladies. So yes, let’s teach our daughters and sons not to body shame (which most of us likely do). But maybe we stop acting like wounded Bs in our 40s?

I guess one question I have is whether some of the women who are hurt by PP’s comments about large breasts ever poked fun at a woman for having small breasts? Like if you ever teased a classmate fur being “flat as a board” or made passive aggressive comments about how men prefer curvy women, then you contributed to this dynamic. Doesn’t make it right, but getting mad at someone for doing to you what you’ve done to them isn’t right either.

No, most women do not make fun of other people’s bodily characteristics which they can’t control. It’s revealing that you think they do; and it says more about you than the rest of us.

Most of the women I have known have said something disparaging about another woman’s body at some point or another. I have too. Not proud of it, but I have.

It was especially common in my teens and 20s for women to “joke” about each others bodies. People have gotten more sensitive and thoughtful in the last 5-10 years, but the 90s and 00s were not kind to women or our bodies, and we were definitely our own worst enemies.

And we should be clear that this was about fighting one another for the male sexual gaze.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone here pointed out that after your 20s, larger breasts age you. It's hard to explain how, but when I tried on a shirt with a padded pushup bra and a regular light bra, the extra boob size definitely made me look older. It's subtle but there was a difference. So throw out the miracle bras or, if you're bustier, go for a smoothing sports bra style.

I know people are upset about this one, but it's true. I think people are upset because they know it's true. Very large breasts look matronly after a certain age. The word "bosom" comes to mind.

It's a trade off. Women who get a lot of attention for their boobs in their youth wind up looking grandmotherly faster because of those boobs. Women who with small boobs get to look youthful a little longer. I feel like it kind of balances out in the end.

Where’s the trade off? You know how much of that attention was from pervy older men? You know how much of a PITA big boobs are to have while trying to run, stay cool in the summer or nurse?

You just suck, full stop. Go sit in the corner and soak your head.

Lady, pervy old guys are creepy to everyone. That wasn’t something special that happened to you because you had a big rack. Lots of perverts like the pre-pubescent look of a flat chest. Perverts are equal opportunity.

But if you’ve got decent sized boobs and you’re heterosexual, bi, or a femme lesbian, guarantee you worked them for attention when you were young. Back when you were going out to bars and parties, it was tits up, because it got people to pay attention to you and made you feel good. Great.

And now those same tits are drooping. They are probably even bigger thanks to pregnancy and breastfeeding. And yes, they are making you look a little matronly. Oh well, that’s life.

Women with small or no boobs get body shamed for it all the time, btw. From puberty. You’ve probably participated in it. But I guess that doesn’t count because it didn’t happen to you.

Women. We really are our own worst enemy.

Yeah… b cup here…. You sound incredibly bitter. Maybe you should work on body acceptance.

I mean, I agree, but I also think it’s telling that this anger/bitterness is coming from someone who was obviously shamed for being flat chested when she was younger.

Like she’s being rude, but I imagine it’s coming from a place of hurt from being told for years that there was something wrong with HER body. So there might be a lesson in there for everyone.

This is quite literally a thread about middle aged ladies. So yes, let’s teach our daughters and sons not to body shame (which most of us likely do). But maybe we stop acting like wounded Bs in our 40s?

I guess one question I have is whether some of the women who are hurt by PP’s comments about large breasts ever poked fun at a woman for having small breasts? Like if you ever teased a classmate fur being “flat as a board” or made passive aggressive comments about how men prefer curvy women, then you contributed to this dynamic. Doesn’t make it right, but getting mad at someone for doing to you what you’ve done to them isn’t right either.

No, most women do not make fun of other people’s bodily characteristics which they can’t control. It’s revealing that you think they do; and it says more about you than the rest of us.

Most of the women I have known have said something disparaging about another woman’s body at some point or another. I have too. Not proud of it, but I have.

It was especially common in my teens and 20s for women to “joke” about each others bodies. People have gotten more sensitive and thoughtful in the last 5-10 years, but the 90s and 00s were not kind to women or our bodies, and we were definitely our own worst enemies.

And we should be clear that this was about fighting one another for the male sexual gaze.

Absolutely, but doesn’t change the fact that we did it.

I think that’s why the breast size thing is so touchy for a lot of women. Because what is more sexualized in youth and the desexualized in middle age than our breasts? Young women with small breasts are deemed unwomanly, older women with large breasts deemed matronly. It’s two sides of the same coin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone here pointed out that after your 20s, larger breasts age you. It's hard to explain how, but when I tried on a shirt with a padded pushup bra and a regular light bra, the extra boob size definitely made me look older. It's subtle but there was a difference. So throw out the miracle bras or, if you're bustier, go for a smoothing sports bra style.

I know people are upset about this one, but it's true. I think people are upset because they know it's true. Very large breasts look matronly after a certain age. The word "bosom" comes to mind.

It's a trade off. Women who get a lot of attention for their boobs in their youth wind up looking grandmotherly faster because of those boobs. Women who with small boobs get to look youthful a little longer. I feel like it kind of balances out in the end.

Where’s the trade off? You know how much of that attention was from pervy older men? You know how much of a PITA big boobs are to have while trying to run, stay cool in the summer or nurse?

You just suck, full stop. Go sit in the corner and soak your head.

Lady, pervy old guys are creepy to everyone. That wasn’t something special that happened to you because you had a big rack. Lots of perverts like the pre-pubescent look of a flat chest. Perverts are equal opportunity.

But if you’ve got decent sized boobs and you’re heterosexual, bi, or a femme lesbian, guarantee you worked them for attention when you were young. Back when you were going out to bars and parties, it was tits up, because it got people to pay attention to you and made you feel good. Great.

And now those same tits are drooping. They are probably even bigger thanks to pregnancy and breastfeeding. And yes, they are making you look a little matronly. Oh well, that’s life.

Women with small or no boobs get body shamed for it all the time, btw. From puberty. You’ve probably participated in it. But I guess that doesn’t count because it didn’t happen to you.

Women. We really are our own worst enemy.

Yeah… b cup here…. You sound incredibly bitter. Maybe you should work on body acceptance.

I mean, I agree, but I also think it’s telling that this anger/bitterness is coming from someone who was obviously shamed for being flat chested when she was younger.

Like she’s being rude, but I imagine it’s coming from a place of hurt from being told for years that there was something wrong with HER body. So there might be a lesson in there for everyone.

This is quite literally a thread about middle aged ladies. So yes, let’s teach our daughters and sons not to body shame (which most of us likely do). But maybe we stop acting like wounded Bs in our 40s?

I guess one question I have is whether some of the women who are hurt by PP’s comments about large breasts ever poked fun at a woman for having small breasts? Like if you ever teased a classmate fur being “flat as a board” or made passive aggressive comments about how men prefer curvy women, then you contributed to this dynamic. Doesn’t make it right, but getting mad at someone for doing to you what you’ve done to them isn’t right either.

No, most women do not make fun of other people’s bodily characteristics which they can’t control. It’s revealing that you think they do; and it says more about you than the rest of us.

Most of the women I have known have said something disparaging about another woman’s body at some point or another. I have too. Not proud of it, but I have.

It was especially common in my teens and 20s for women to “joke” about each others bodies. People have gotten more sensitive and thoughtful in the last 5-10 years, but the 90s and 00s were not kind to women or our bodies, and we were definitely our own worst enemies.

And we should be clear that this was about fighting one another for the male sexual gaze.

Absolutely, but doesn’t change the fact that we did it.

I think that’s why the breast size thing is so touchy for a lot of women. Because what is more sexualized in youth and the desexualized in middle age than our breasts? Young women with small breasts are deemed unwomanly, older women with large breasts deemed matronly. It’s two sides of the same coin.

I didn’t mean for a minute to excuse it but if we are doing a post mortem it has to be discussed. You say we were harsh in the 90s and 00s but in a lot of ways that still goes on. What is this thread up? Sales of anti aging products and cosmetic procedures are way up compared to those days. You are not going to convince me its not all still connected being sexual in the eyes of men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone here pointed out that after your 20s, larger breasts age you. It's hard to explain how, but when I tried on a shirt with a padded pushup bra and a regular light bra, the extra boob size definitely made me look older. It's subtle but there was a difference. So throw out the miracle bras or, if you're bustier, go for a smoothing sports bra style.

I know people are upset about this one, but it's true. I think people are upset because they know it's true. Very large breasts look matronly after a certain age. The word "bosom" comes to mind.

It's a trade off. Women who get a lot of attention for their boobs in their youth wind up looking grandmotherly faster because of those boobs. Women who with small boobs get to look youthful a little longer. I feel like it kind of balances out in the end.

Where’s the trade off? You know how much of that attention was from pervy older men? You know how much of a PITA big boobs are to have while trying to run, stay cool in the summer or nurse?

You just suck, full stop. Go sit in the corner and soak your head.

Lady, pervy old guys are creepy to everyone. That wasn’t something special that happened to you because you had a big rack. Lots of perverts like the pre-pubescent look of a flat chest. Perverts are equal opportunity.

But if you’ve got decent sized boobs and you’re heterosexual, bi, or a femme lesbian, guarantee you worked them for attention when you were young. Back when you were going out to bars and parties, it was tits up, because it got people to pay attention to you and made you feel good. Great.

And now those same tits are drooping. They are probably even bigger thanks to pregnancy and breastfeeding. And yes, they are making you look a little matronly. Oh well, that’s life.

Women with small or no boobs get body shamed for it all the time, btw. From puberty. You’ve probably participated in it. But I guess that doesn’t count because it didn’t happen to you.

Women. We really are our own worst enemy.

Yeah… b cup here…. You sound incredibly bitter. Maybe you should work on body acceptance.

I mean, I agree, but I also think it’s telling that this anger/bitterness is coming from someone who was obviously shamed for being flat chested when she was younger.

Like she’s being rude, but I imagine it’s coming from a place of hurt from being told for years that there was something wrong with HER body. So there might be a lesson in there for everyone.

This is quite literally a thread about middle aged ladies. So yes, let’s teach our daughters and sons not to body shame (which most of us likely do). But maybe we stop acting like wounded Bs in our 40s?

I guess one question I have is whether some of the women who are hurt by PP’s comments about large breasts ever poked fun at a woman for having small breasts? Like if you ever teased a classmate fur being “flat as a board” or made passive aggressive comments about how men prefer curvy women, then you contributed to this dynamic. Doesn’t make it right, but getting mad at someone for doing to you what you’ve done to them isn’t right either.

No, most women do not make fun of other people’s bodily characteristics which they can’t control. It’s revealing that you think they do; and it says more about you than the rest of us.

Most of the women I have known have said something disparaging about another woman’s body at some point or another. I have too. Not proud of it, but I have.

It was especially common in my teens and 20s for women to “joke” about each others bodies. People have gotten more sensitive and thoughtful in the last 5-10 years, but the 90s and 00s were not kind to women or our bodies, and we were definitely our own worst enemies.

And we should be clear that this was about fighting one another for the male sexual gaze.

Absolutely, but doesn’t change the fact that we did it.

I think that’s why the breast size thing is so touchy for a lot of women. Because what is more sexualized in youth and the desexualized in middle age than our breasts? Young women with small breasts are deemed unwomanly, older women with large breasts deemed matronly. It’s two sides of the same coin.

I didn’t mean for a minute to excuse it but if we are doing a post mortem it has to be discussed. You say we were harsh in the 90s and 00s but in a lot of ways that still goes on. What is this thread up? Sales of anti aging products and cosmetic procedures are way up compared to those days. You are not going to convince me it’s not all still connected being sexual in the eyes of men.

+100. These people are in deep denial about many things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone here pointed out that after your 20s, larger breasts age you. It's hard to explain how, but when I tried on a shirt with a padded pushup bra and a regular light bra, the extra boob size definitely made me look older. It's subtle but there was a difference. So throw out the miracle bras or, if you're bustier, go for a smoothing sports bra style.

I know people are upset about this one, but it's true. I think people are upset because they know it's true. Very large breasts look matronly after a certain age. The word "bosom" comes to mind.

It's a trade off. Women who get a lot of attention for their boobs in their youth wind up looking grandmotherly faster because of those boobs. Women who with small boobs get to look youthful a little longer. I feel like it kind of balances out in the end.

Where’s the trade off? You know how much of that attention was from pervy older men? You know how much of a PITA big boobs are to have while trying to run, stay cool in the summer or nurse?

You just suck, full stop. Go sit in the corner and soak your head.

Lady, pervy old guys are creepy to everyone. That wasn’t something special that happened to you because you had a big rack. Lots of perverts like the pre-pubescent look of a flat chest. Perverts are equal opportunity.

But if you’ve got decent sized boobs and you’re heterosexual, bi, or a femme lesbian, guarantee you worked them for attention when you were young. Back when you were going out to bars and parties, it was tits up, because it got people to pay attention to you and made you feel good. Great.

And now those same tits are drooping. They are probably even bigger thanks to pregnancy and breastfeeding. And yes, they are making you look a little matronly. Oh well, that’s life.

Women with small or no boobs get body shamed for it all the time, btw. From puberty. You’ve probably participated in it. But I guess that doesn’t count because it didn’t happen to you.

Women. We really are our own worst enemy.

Yeah… b cup here…. You sound incredibly bitter. Maybe you should work on body acceptance.

I mean, I agree, but I also think it’s telling that this anger/bitterness is coming from someone who was obviously shamed for being flat chested when she was younger.

Like she’s being rude, but I imagine it’s coming from a place of hurt from being told for years that there was something wrong with HER body. So there might be a lesson in there for everyone.

This is quite literally a thread about middle aged ladies. So yes, let’s teach our daughters and sons not to body shame (which most of us likely do). But maybe we stop acting like wounded Bs in our 40s?

I guess one question I have is whether some of the women who are hurt by PP’s comments about large breasts ever poked fun at a woman for having small breasts? Like if you ever teased a classmate fur being “flat as a board” or made passive aggressive comments about how men prefer curvy women, then you contributed to this dynamic. Doesn’t make it right, but getting mad at someone for doing to you what you’ve done to them isn’t right either.

I am medium chested and have never engaged in negative body to another woman. (And wrote the comments you responded to). The comments were rude AF. You seem to think decades “payback” on strangers is ok. If you really are in your 30s/40s, you have growing up to do.

I don’t think payback is ok and I disagree with PP’s comments. And good for you if you’ve never criticized another woman’s body. But most women do engage in body shaming at some point.

I just found the PP’s comment about getting criticized and body shamed for being flat chested interesting. I think she’s lashing out in large part because she has been taught be others that her body is wrong, and that women with larger breasts are “correct”. If that’s what you’ve been told (by other women no less), is it at all surprising that she’d want to flip that script? It’s a defense mechanism.

NP here. Where did you grow up? Were you a cheer leader in flyover country or LA or something?

I grew up in DC going to an all girls school and I honestly do not think I have ever been in a convo with girls or women criticizing other women's bodies.I know I haven't. If others did, I didn't hear them. But my friends didn't suck. And they weren't superficial.

I think you've kept bad company.