Why is it so acceptable to alienate Dad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't get this excuse-making. Maybe I'm crazy but I would never give up my parenting time because I "felt alienated". And I would be willing to live in an awful apartment with roommates, be on food stamps, work two jobs, whatever it took to live nearby. If I only got the worst parenting time, if it were only orthodontist visits and 5 am crew practice l, I'd be there. If I couldn't get parenting time, I would be at every public event. If my ex hates me and tried to make my DC hate me, I still wouldn't give up. I really don't understand people who give up trying to have a relationship with their kids.

You choose a bad spouse. Mine does all that and more, including the five am sports.

Did you even read the post you quoted? Your response makes no sense.

The post is complaining about every day parenting tasks. The things we all do.

You totally missed the point.

No, I did not. Both mom and dads do those things every day. Your ex may suck but there are lots of dads who do all that and more. It’s sad you hate men so much and are raising a son who is going to pick up on your nasty attitudes.

You don’t seem to get that if a mom moves, mom may not want dad involved if she has a new partner. She may want to hide the affair and pretend AP is dad. Not all men can just up and quit to chase around mom and her AP every time they move.

Not all moms will allow dads even their visitation time let alone extra time to go to school events, activities, etc and will tell the schools dad is not allowed and some schools follow the court order, some mom.

Who gives a flying eff what the mom wants?

Are you really saying that if your spouse moved your kid out of state with an AP you’d just give up? Prioritize keeping your military career over your relationship with your kids?

If so you’re a garbage parent and person.

You think you can just walk away and quit and give your two week notice? It doesn't work like that. And, it's often not easy getting a job outside the military as the career fields are not transferable which means you need to retrain or get a different degree. You think Dad should just up and move every time mom moves and chase her and hope she'll allow a visit? How would he pay child support an alimony if he quit his job? Then, you'd complain he was a deadbeat.

There is nothing I wouldn't do for my kid.

So, you’d get court marshaled and go to prison?

did you even read the post I was responding to? If not, please do that.

Yes, I would get retrained and move across the world if necessary to be near my kid. No, I would not kidnap the child. Does that compute better with your little brain?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't get this excuse-making. Maybe I'm crazy but I would never give up my parenting time because I "felt alienated". And I would be willing to live in an awful apartment with roommates, be on food stamps, work two jobs, whatever it took to live nearby. If I only got the worst parenting time, if it were only orthodontist visits and 5 am crew practice l, I'd be there. If I couldn't get parenting time, I would be at every public event. If my ex hates me and tried to make my DC hate me, I still wouldn't give up. I really don't understand people who give up trying to have a relationship with their kids.

You choose a bad spouse. Mine does all that and more, including the five am sports.

Did you even read the post you quoted? Your response makes no sense.

The post is complaining about every day parenting tasks. The things we all do.

You totally missed the point.

No, I did not. Both mom and dads do those things every day. Your ex may suck but there are lots of dads who do all that and more. It’s sad you hate men so much and are raising a son who is going to pick up on your nasty attitudes.

You don’t seem to get that if a mom moves, mom may not want dad involved if she has a new partner. She may want to hide the affair and pretend AP is dad. Not all men can just up and quit to chase around mom and her AP every time they move.

Not all moms will allow dads even their visitation time let alone extra time to go to school events, activities, etc and will tell the schools dad is not allowed and some schools follow the court order, some mom.

Who gives a flying eff what the mom wants?

Are you really saying that if your spouse moved your kid out of state with an AP you’d just give up? Prioritize keeping your military career over your relationship with your kids?

If so you’re a garbage parent and person.

You think you can just walk away and quit and give your two week notice? It doesn't work like that. And, it's often not easy getting a job outside the military as the career fields are not transferable which means you need to retrain or get a different degree. You think Dad should just up and move every time mom moves and chase her and hope she'll allow a visit? How would he pay child support an alimony if he quit his job? Then, you'd complain he was a deadbeat.

There is nothing I wouldn't do for my kid.

You won't be able to do much for your kid if you're in the brig. Just "not showing up" for work in the military is called AWOL and you can be put in the brig for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't get this excuse-making. Maybe I'm crazy but I would never give up my parenting time because I "felt alienated". And I would be willing to live in an awful apartment with roommates, be on food stamps, work two jobs, whatever it took to live nearby. If I only got the worst parenting time, if it were only orthodontist visits and 5 am crew practice l, I'd be there. If I couldn't get parenting time, I would be at every public event. If my ex hates me and tried to make my DC hate me, I still wouldn't give up. I really don't understand people who give up trying to have a relationship with their kids.

You choose a bad spouse. Mine does all that and more, including the five am sports.

Did you even read the post you quoted? Your response makes no sense.

The post is complaining about every day parenting tasks. The things we all do.

You totally missed the point.

No, I did not. Both mom and dads do those things every day. Your ex may suck but there are lots of dads who do all that and more. It’s sad you hate men so much and are raising a son who is going to pick up on your nasty attitudes.

You don’t seem to get that if a mom moves, mom may not want dad involved if she has a new partner. She may want to hide the affair and pretend AP is dad. Not all men can just up and quit to chase around mom and her AP every time they move.

Not all moms will allow dads even their visitation time let alone extra time to go to school events, activities, etc and will tell the schools dad is not allowed and some schools follow the court order, some mom.

Who gives a flying eff what the mom wants?

Are you really saying that if your spouse moved your kid out of state with an AP you’d just give up? Prioritize keeping your military career over your relationship with your kids?

If so you’re a garbage parent and person.

You think you can just walk away and quit and give your two week notice? It doesn't work like that. And, it's often not easy getting a job outside the military as the career fields are not transferable which means you need to retrain or get a different degree. You think Dad should just up and move every time mom moves and chase her and hope she'll allow a visit? How would he pay child support an alimony if he quit his job? Then, you'd complain he was a deadbeat.

There is nothing I wouldn't do for my kid.

So, you’d get court marshaled and go to prison?

did you even read the post I was responding to? If not, please do that.

Yes, I would get retrained and move across the world if necessary to be near my kid. No, I would not kidnap the child. Does that compute better with your little brain?

I'm not the pp you are responding to, but you're insults are revolting and uncalled for.

In the military, you can't just quit whenever you want. If Dad is stationed at Ft. Hood in Texas and mom decides she wants to move to Seattle, Dad can't just put in his two weeks notice and move to Seattle too. If he has 3 years left in his contract, he has to live where the military tells him for the next 3 years. That might be Ft. Hood, it might be on Okinawa, it might be in Germany....The point is, he has no choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't get this excuse-making. Maybe I'm crazy but I would never give up my parenting time because I "felt alienated". And I would be willing to live in an awful apartment with roommates, be on food stamps, work two jobs, whatever it took to live nearby. If I only got the worst parenting time, if it were only orthodontist visits and 5 am crew practice l, I'd be there. If I couldn't get parenting time, I would be at every public event. If my ex hates me and tried to make my DC hate me, I still wouldn't give up. I really don't understand people who give up trying to have a relationship with their kids.

You choose a bad spouse. Mine does all that and more, including the five am sports.

Did you even read the post you quoted? Your response makes no sense.

The post is complaining about every day parenting tasks. The things we all do.

You totally missed the point.

No, I did not. Both mom and dads do those things every day. Your ex may suck but there are lots of dads who do all that and more. It’s sad you hate men so much and are raising a son who is going to pick up on your nasty attitudes.

You don’t seem to get that if a mom moves, mom may not want dad involved if she has a new partner. She may want to hide the affair and pretend AP is dad. Not all men can just up and quit to chase around mom and her AP every time they move.

Not all moms will allow dads even their visitation time let alone extra time to go to school events, activities, etc and will tell the schools dad is not allowed and some schools follow the court order, some mom.

Who gives a flying eff what the mom wants?

Are you really saying that if your spouse moved your kid out of state with an AP you’d just give up? Prioritize keeping your military career over your relationship with your kids?

If so you’re a garbage parent and person.

You think you can just walk away and quit and give your two week notice? It doesn't work like that. And, it's often not easy getting a job outside the military as the career fields are not transferable which means you need to retrain or get a different degree. You think Dad should just up and move every time mom moves and chase her and hope she'll allow a visit? How would he pay child support an alimony if he quit his job? Then, you'd complain he was a deadbeat.

There is nothing I wouldn't do for my kid.

So, you’d get court marshaled and go to prison?

did you even read the post I was responding to? If not, please do that.

Yes, I would get retrained and move across the world if necessary to be near my kid. No, I would not kidnap the child. Does that compute better with your little brain?

I'm not the pp you are responding to, but you're insults are revolting and uncalled for.

In the military, you can't just quit whenever you want. If Dad is stationed at Ft. Hood in Texas and mom decides she wants to move to Seattle, Dad can't just put in his two weeks notice and move to Seattle too. If he has 3 years left in his contract, he has to live where the military tells him for the next 3 years. That might be Ft. Hood, it might be on Okinawa, it might be in Germany....The point is, he has no choice.

But we can all agree that after 3 years a good father would walk away from his military career and go to his children, right? Because this prolific poster's husband did not do that. He retired with his fat pension and no relationship with his kids. He didn't do the bear minimum to maintain the relationship, and now his kids have no relationship with him. It's a bed he made himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't get this excuse-making. Maybe I'm crazy but I would never give up my parenting time because I "felt alienated". And I would be willing to live in an awful apartment with roommates, be on food stamps, work two jobs, whatever it took to live nearby. If I only got the worst parenting time, if it were only orthodontist visits and 5 am crew practice l, I'd be there. If I couldn't get parenting time, I would be at every public event. If my ex hates me and tried to make my DC hate me, I still wouldn't give up. I really don't understand people who give up trying to have a relationship with their kids.

You choose a bad spouse. Mine does all that and more, including the five am sports.

Did you even read the post you quoted? Your response makes no sense.

The post is complaining about every day parenting tasks. The things we all do.

You totally missed the point.

No, I did not. Both mom and dads do those things every day. Your ex may suck but there are lots of dads who do all that and more. It’s sad you hate men so much and are raising a son who is going to pick up on your nasty attitudes.

You don’t seem to get that if a mom moves, mom may not want dad involved if she has a new partner. She may want to hide the affair and pretend AP is dad. Not all men can just up and quit to chase around mom and her AP every time they move.

Not all moms will allow dads even their visitation time let alone extra time to go to school events, activities, etc and will tell the schools dad is not allowed and some schools follow the court order, some mom.

Who gives a flying eff what the mom wants?

Are you really saying that if your spouse moved your kid out of state with an AP you’d just give up? Prioritize keeping your military career over your relationship with your kids?

If so you’re a garbage parent and person.

You think you can just walk away and quit and give your two week notice? It doesn't work like that. And, it's often not easy getting a job outside the military as the career fields are not transferable which means you need to retrain or get a different degree. You think Dad should just up and move every time mom moves and chase her and hope she'll allow a visit? How would he pay child support an alimony if he quit his job? Then, you'd complain he was a deadbeat.

There is nothing I wouldn't do for my kid.

So, you’d get court marshaled and go to prison?

did you even read the post I was responding to? If not, please do that.

Yes, I would get retrained and move across the world if necessary to be near my kid. No, I would not kidnap the child. Does that compute better with your little brain?

I'm not the pp you are responding to, but you're insults are revolting and uncalled for.

In the military, you can't just quit whenever you want. If Dad is stationed at Ft. Hood in Texas and mom decides she wants to move to Seattle, Dad can't just put in his two weeks notice and move to Seattle too. If he has 3 years left in his contract, he has to live where the military tells him for the next 3 years. That might be Ft. Hood, it might be on Okinawa, it might be in Germany....The point is, he has no choice.

So what happened when the Dad asked the family court to intervene and stop the move?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't get this excuse-making. Maybe I'm crazy but I would never give up my parenting time because I "felt alienated". And I would be willing to live in an awful apartment with roommates, be on food stamps, work two jobs, whatever it took to live nearby. If I only got the worst parenting time, if it were only orthodontist visits and 5 am crew practice l, I'd be there. If I couldn't get parenting time, I would be at every public event. If my ex hates me and tried to make my DC hate me, I still wouldn't give up. I really don't understand people who give up trying to have a relationship with their kids.

You choose a bad spouse. Mine does all that and more, including the five am sports.

Did you even read the post you quoted? Your response makes no sense.

The post is complaining about every day parenting tasks. The things we all do.

You totally missed the point.

No, I did not. Both mom and dads do those things every day. Your ex may suck but there are lots of dads who do all that and more. It’s sad you hate men so much and are raising a son who is going to pick up on your nasty attitudes.

You don’t seem to get that if a mom moves, mom may not want dad involved if she has a new partner. She may want to hide the affair and pretend AP is dad. Not all men can just up and quit to chase around mom and her AP every time they move.

Not all moms will allow dads even their visitation time let alone extra time to go to school events, activities, etc and will tell the schools dad is not allowed and some schools follow the court order, some mom.

Who gives a flying eff what the mom wants?

Are you really saying that if your spouse moved your kid out of state with an AP you’d just give up? Prioritize keeping your military career over your relationship with your kids?

If so you’re a garbage parent and person.

You think you can just walk away and quit and give your two week notice? It doesn't work like that. And, it's often not easy getting a job outside the military as the career fields are not transferable which means you need to retrain or get a different degree. You think Dad should just up and move every time mom moves and chase her and hope she'll allow a visit? How would he pay child support an alimony if he quit his job? Then, you'd complain he was a deadbeat.

I don't care how hard it is to get a new job. Yes, I think ANY good father would go to his children, and do whatever it took to be with them. PERIOD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't get this excuse-making. Maybe I'm crazy but I would never give up my parenting time because I "felt alienated". And I would be willing to live in an awful apartment with roommates, be on food stamps, work two jobs, whatever it took to live nearby. If I only got the worst parenting time, if it were only orthodontist visits and 5 am crew practice l, I'd be there. If I couldn't get parenting time, I would be at every public event. If my ex hates me and tried to make my DC hate me, I still wouldn't give up. I really don't understand people who give up trying to have a relationship with their kids.

You choose a bad spouse. Mine does all that and more, including the five am sports.

Did you even read the post you quoted? Your response makes no sense.

The post is complaining about every day parenting tasks. The things we all do.

You totally missed the point.

No, I did not. Both mom and dads do those things every day. Your ex may suck but there are lots of dads who do all that and more. It’s sad you hate men so much and are raising a son who is going to pick up on your nasty attitudes.

You don’t seem to get that if a mom moves, mom may not want dad involved if she has a new partner. She may want to hide the affair and pretend AP is dad. Not all men can just up and quit to chase around mom and her AP every time they move.

Not all moms will allow dads even their visitation time let alone extra time to go to school events, activities, etc and will tell the schools dad is not allowed and some schools follow the court order, some mom.

Who gives a flying eff what the mom wants?

Are you really saying that if your spouse moved your kid out of state with an AP you’d just give up? Prioritize keeping your military career over your relationship with your kids?

If so you’re a garbage parent and person.

You think you can just walk away and quit and give your two week notice? It doesn't work like that. And, it's often not easy getting a job outside the military as the career fields are not transferable which means you need to retrain or get a different degree. You think Dad should just up and move every time mom moves and chase her and hope she'll allow a visit? How would he pay child support an alimony if he quit his job? Then, you'd complain he was a deadbeat.

There is nothing I wouldn't do for my kid.

So, you’d get court marshaled and go to prison?

did you even read the post I was responding to? If not, please do that.

Yes, I would get retrained and move across the world if necessary to be near my kid. No, I would not kidnap the child. Does that compute better with your little brain?

I'm not the pp you are responding to, but you're insults are revolting and uncalled for.

In the military, you can't just quit whenever you want. If Dad is stationed at Ft. Hood in Texas and mom decides she wants to move to Seattle, Dad can't just put in his two weeks notice and move to Seattle too. If he has 3 years left in his contract, he has to live where the military tells him for the next 3 years. That might be Ft. Hood, it might be on Okinawa, it might be in Germany....The point is, he has no choice.

OMG, has this actually happened to you or are you just speculating based on nothing? Dad can most certainly petition the court and make her move back. I had to ask permission to move 40 miles which is what is most often the case. If she moved before the divorce is finalized, the judge will not look fondly on her antics and can and probably will order her to move back so the children have access to their father. But hey, best to go on an angry tirade against mothers with no concept of the law I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't get this excuse-making. Maybe I'm crazy but I would never give up my parenting time because I "felt alienated". And I would be willing to live in an awful apartment with roommates, be on food stamps, work two jobs, whatever it took to live nearby. If I only got the worst parenting time, if it were only orthodontist visits and 5 am crew practice l, I'd be there. If I couldn't get parenting time, I would be at every public event. If my ex hates me and tried to make my DC hate me, I still wouldn't give up. I really don't understand people who give up trying to have a relationship with their kids.

You choose a bad spouse. Mine does all that and more, including the five am sports.

Did you even read the post you quoted? Your response makes no sense.

The post is complaining about every day parenting tasks. The things we all do.

You totally missed the point.

No, I did not. Both mom and dads do those things every day. Your ex may suck but there are lots of dads who do all that and more. It’s sad you hate men so much and are raising a son who is going to pick up on your nasty attitudes.

You don’t seem to get that if a mom moves, mom may not want dad involved if she has a new partner. She may want to hide the affair and pretend AP is dad. Not all men can just up and quit to chase around mom and her AP every time they move.

Not all moms will allow dads even their visitation time let alone extra time to go to school events, activities, etc and will tell the schools dad is not allowed and some schools follow the court order, some mom.

Who gives a flying eff what the mom wants?

Are you really saying that if your spouse moved your kid out of state with an AP you’d just give up? Prioritize keeping your military career over your relationship with your kids?

If so you’re a garbage parent and person.

You think you can just walk away and quit and give your two week notice? It doesn't work like that. And, it's often not easy getting a job outside the military as the career fields are not transferable which means you need to retrain or get a different degree. You think Dad should just up and move every time mom moves and chase her and hope she'll allow a visit? How would he pay child support an alimony if he quit his job? Then, you'd complain he was a deadbeat.

There is nothing I wouldn't do for my kid.

So, you’d get court marshaled and go to prison?

did you even read the post I was responding to? If not, please do that.

Yes, I would get retrained and move across the world if necessary to be near my kid. No, I would not kidnap the child. Does that compute better with your little brain?

I'm not the pp you are responding to, but you're insults are revolting and uncalled for.

In the military, you can't just quit whenever you want. If Dad is stationed at Ft. Hood in Texas and mom decides she wants to move to Seattle, Dad can't just put in his two weeks notice and move to Seattle too. If he has 3 years left in his contract, he has to live where the military tells him for the next 3 years. That might be Ft. Hood, it might be on Okinawa, it might be in Germany....The point is, he has no choice.

OMG, has this actually happened to you or are you just speculating based on nothing? Dad can most certainly petition the court and make her move back. I had to ask permission to move 40 miles which is what is most often the case. If she moved before the divorce is finalized, the judge will not look fondly on her antics and can and probably will order her to move back so the children have access to their father. But hey, best to go on an angry tirade against mothers with no concept of the law I guess.

The dad didn't do any of that because he wasn't willing to find a job that made it possible for him to have regular visitation, so this whole hypothetical is pointless. He didn't get court intervention because he couldn't care for his kids even if he won.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't get this excuse-making. Maybe I'm crazy but I would never give up my parenting time because I "felt alienated". And I would be willing to live in an awful apartment with roommates, be on food stamps, work two jobs, whatever it took to live nearby. If I only got the worst parenting time, if it were only orthodontist visits and 5 am crew practice l, I'd be there. If I couldn't get parenting time, I would be at every public event. If my ex hates me and tried to make my DC hate me, I still wouldn't give up. I really don't understand people who give up trying to have a relationship with their kids.

You choose a bad spouse. Mine does all that and more, including the five am sports.

Did you even read the post you quoted? Your response makes no sense.

The post is complaining about every day parenting tasks. The things we all do.

You totally missed the point.

No, I did not. Both mom and dads do those things every day. Your ex may suck but there are lots of dads who do all that and more. It’s sad you hate men so much and are raising a son who is going to pick up on your nasty attitudes.

You don’t seem to get that if a mom moves, mom may not want dad involved if she has a new partner. She may want to hide the affair and pretend AP is dad. Not all men can just up and quit to chase around mom and her AP every time they move.

Not all moms will allow dads even their visitation time let alone extra time to go to school events, activities, etc and will tell the schools dad is not allowed and some schools follow the court order, some mom.

Who gives a flying eff what the mom wants?

Are you really saying that if your spouse moved your kid out of state with an AP you’d just give up? Prioritize keeping your military career over your relationship with your kids?

If so you’re a garbage parent and person.

You think you can just walk away and quit and give your two week notice? It doesn't work like that. And, it's often not easy getting a job outside the military as the career fields are not transferable which means you need to retrain or get a different degree. You think Dad should just up and move every time mom moves and chase her and hope she'll allow a visit? How would he pay child support an alimony if he quit his job? Then, you'd complain he was a deadbeat.

I don't care how hard it is to get a new job. Yes, I think ANY good father would go to his children, and do whatever it took to be with them. PERIOD.

+1, it's crazy to me how some fathers just give up on their kids. I would move heaven and earth to be with them, regardless of how unfair it was or how much I had to sacrifice. Nothing is a higher priority for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't get this excuse-making. Maybe I'm crazy but I would never give up my parenting time because I "felt alienated". And I would be willing to live in an awful apartment with roommates, be on food stamps, work two jobs, whatever it took to live nearby. If I only got the worst parenting time, if it were only orthodontist visits and 5 am crew practice l, I'd be there. If I couldn't get parenting time, I would be at every public event. If my ex hates me and tried to make my DC hate me, I still wouldn't give up. I really don't understand people who give up trying to have a relationship with their kids.

You choose a bad spouse. Mine does all that and more, including the five am sports.

Did you even read the post you quoted? Your response makes no sense.

The post is complaining about every day parenting tasks. The things we all do.

You totally missed the point.

No, I did not. Both mom and dads do those things every day. Your ex may suck but there are lots of dads who do all that and more. It’s sad you hate men so much and are raising a son who is going to pick up on your nasty attitudes.

You don’t seem to get that if a mom moves, mom may not want dad involved if she has a new partner. She may want to hide the affair and pretend AP is dad. Not all men can just up and quit to chase around mom and her AP every time they move.

Not all moms will allow dads even their visitation time let alone extra time to go to school events, activities, etc and will tell the schools dad is not allowed and some schools follow the court order, some mom.

Who gives a flying eff what the mom wants?

Are you really saying that if your spouse moved your kid out of state with an AP you’d just give up? Prioritize keeping your military career over your relationship with your kids?

If so you’re a garbage parent and person.

You think you can just walk away and quit and give your two week notice? It doesn't work like that. And, it's often not easy getting a job outside the military as the career fields are not transferable which means you need to retrain or get a different degree. You think Dad should just up and move every time mom moves and chase her and hope she'll allow a visit? How would he pay child support an alimony if he quit his job? Then, you'd complain he was a deadbeat.

There is nothing I wouldn't do for my kid.

So, you’d get court marshaled and go to prison?

did you even read the post I was responding to? If not, please do that.

Yes, I would get retrained and move across the world if necessary to be near my kid. No, I would not kidnap the child. Does that compute better with your little brain?

I'm not the pp you are responding to, but you're insults are revolting and uncalled for.

In the military, you can't just quit whenever you want. If Dad is stationed at Ft. Hood in Texas and mom decides she wants to move to Seattle, Dad can't just put in his two weeks notice and move to Seattle too. If he has 3 years left in his contract, he has to live where the military tells him for the next 3 years. That might be Ft. Hood, it might be on Okinawa, it might be in Germany....The point is, he has no choice.

OMG, has this actually happened to you or are you just speculating based on nothing? Dad can most certainly petition the court and make her move back. I had to ask permission to move 40 miles which is what is most often the case. If she moved before the divorce is finalized, the judge will not look fondly on her antics and can and probably will order her to move back so the children have access to their father. But hey, best to go on an angry tirade against mothers with no concept of the law I guess.

OMG, no it has not happened to me. I am married to my childrens father, who is retired military, so I have seen cases like this happen. Honestly, from what I have seen (but not experienced myself) is "it depends." I've seen it go in many ways, and I wasn't always privy to all factors in the situation so I can't necessarily explain why.

One thing to take into consideration is military members can deploy at ANY time. There were several times that my own husband only got a few weeks notice to deploy overseas, and one time where he literally only got 3 days notice that he was leaving.
In a situation where the service member is likely to deploy (or perhaps even already knows of an upcoming deployment) it is absurd to require the mom to stay in a strange town, with no local family/support, and exH/dad overseas for an entire year.
And then what happens when the military member has PCS orders (military moves him to a new duty station?) The courts can't force his ex wife to move with him--and it would be pretty much impossible, even if ex wife agreed to it, for overseas locations like Korea or Okinawa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't get this excuse-making. Maybe I'm crazy but I would never give up my parenting time because I "felt alienated". And I would be willing to live in an awful apartment with roommates, be on food stamps, work two jobs, whatever it took to live nearby. If I only got the worst parenting time, if it were only orthodontist visits and 5 am crew practice l, I'd be there. If I couldn't get parenting time, I would be at every public event. If my ex hates me and tried to make my DC hate me, I still wouldn't give up. I really don't understand people who give up trying to have a relationship with their kids.

You choose a bad spouse. Mine does all that and more, including the five am sports.

Did you even read the post you quoted? Your response makes no sense.

The post is complaining about every day parenting tasks. The things we all do.

You totally missed the point.

No, I did not. Both mom and dads do those things every day. Your ex may suck but there are lots of dads who do all that and more. It’s sad you hate men so much and are raising a son who is going to pick up on your nasty attitudes.

You don’t seem to get that if a mom moves, mom may not want dad involved if she has a new partner. She may want to hide the affair and pretend AP is dad. Not all men can just up and quit to chase around mom and her AP every time they move.

Not all moms will allow dads even their visitation time let alone extra time to go to school events, activities, etc and will tell the schools dad is not allowed and some schools follow the court order, some mom.

Who gives a flying eff what the mom wants?

Are you really saying that if your spouse moved your kid out of state with an AP you’d just give up? Prioritize keeping your military career over your relationship with your kids?

If so you’re a garbage parent and person.

You think you can just walk away and quit and give your two week notice? It doesn't work like that. And, it's often not easy getting a job outside the military as the career fields are not transferable which means you need to retrain or get a different degree. You think Dad should just up and move every time mom moves and chase her and hope she'll allow a visit? How would he pay child support an alimony if he quit his job? Then, you'd complain he was a deadbeat.

There is nothing I wouldn't do for my kid.

So, you’d get court marshaled and go to prison?

did you even read the post I was responding to? If not, please do that.

Yes, I would get retrained and move across the world if necessary to be near my kid. No, I would not kidnap the child. Does that compute better with your little brain?

I'm not the pp you are responding to, but you're insults are revolting and uncalled for.

In the military, you can't just quit whenever you want. If Dad is stationed at Ft. Hood in Texas and mom decides she wants to move to Seattle, Dad can't just put in his two weeks notice and move to Seattle too. If he has 3 years left in his contract, he has to live where the military tells him for the next 3 years. That might be Ft. Hood, it might be on Okinawa, it might be in Germany....The point is, he has no choice.

OMG, has this actually happened to you or are you just speculating based on nothing? Dad can most certainly petition the court and make her move back. I had to ask permission to move 40 miles which is what is most often the case. If she moved before the divorce is finalized, the judge will not look fondly on her antics and can and probably will order her to move back so the children have access to their father. But hey, best to go on an angry tirade against mothers with no concept of the law I guess.

OMG, no it has not happened to me. I am married to my childrens father, who is retired military, so I have seen cases like this happen. Honestly, from what I have seen (but not experienced myself) is "it depends." I've seen it go in many ways, and I wasn't always privy to all factors in the situation so I can't necessarily explain why.

One thing to take into consideration is military members can deploy at ANY time. There were several times that my own husband only got a few weeks notice to deploy overseas, and one time where he literally only got 3 days notice that he was leaving.
In a situation where the service member is likely to deploy (or perhaps even already knows of an upcoming deployment) it is absurd to require the mom to stay in a strange town, with no local family/support, and exH/dad overseas for an entire year.
And then what happens when the military member has PCS orders (military moves him to a new duty station?) The courts can't force his ex wife to move with him--and it would be pretty much impossible, even if ex wife agreed to it, for overseas locations like Korea or Okinawa.

So then what the hell is your point??? Honest question? Is mom the bad guy for wanting to move to a town where she might have some support while he is deployed or do you find that acceptable? I can't tell from your posts because they contradict each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't get this excuse-making. Maybe I'm crazy but I would never give up my parenting time because I "felt alienated". And I would be willing to live in an awful apartment with roommates, be on food stamps, work two jobs, whatever it took to live nearby. If I only got the worst parenting time, if it were only orthodontist visits and 5 am crew practice l, I'd be there. If I couldn't get parenting time, I would be at every public event. If my ex hates me and tried to make my DC hate me, I still wouldn't give up. I really don't understand people who give up trying to have a relationship with their kids.

You choose a bad spouse. Mine does all that and more, including the five am sports.

Did you even read the post you quoted? Your response makes no sense.

The post is complaining about every day parenting tasks. The things we all do.

You totally missed the point.

No, I did not. Both mom and dads do those things every day. Your ex may suck but there are lots of dads who do all that and more. It’s sad you hate men so much and are raising a son who is going to pick up on your nasty attitudes.

You don’t seem to get that if a mom moves, mom may not want dad involved if she has a new partner. She may want to hide the affair and pretend AP is dad. Not all men can just up and quit to chase around mom and her AP every time they move.

Not all moms will allow dads even their visitation time let alone extra time to go to school events, activities, etc and will tell the schools dad is not allowed and some schools follow the court order, some mom.

Who gives a flying eff what the mom wants?

Are you really saying that if your spouse moved your kid out of state with an AP you’d just give up? Prioritize keeping your military career over your relationship with your kids?

If so you’re a garbage parent and person.

You think you can just walk away and quit and give your two week notice? It doesn't work like that. And, it's often not easy getting a job outside the military as the career fields are not transferable which means you need to retrain or get a different degree. You think Dad should just up and move every time mom moves and chase her and hope she'll allow a visit? How would he pay child support an alimony if he quit his job? Then, you'd complain he was a deadbeat.

There is nothing I wouldn't do for my kid.

So, you’d get court marshaled and go to prison?

did you even read the post I was responding to? If not, please do that.

Yes, I would get retrained and move across the world if necessary to be near my kid. No, I would not kidnap the child. Does that compute better with your little brain?

I'm not the pp you are responding to, but you're insults are revolting and uncalled for.

In the military, you can't just quit whenever you want. If Dad is stationed at Ft. Hood in Texas and mom decides she wants to move to Seattle, Dad can't just put in his two weeks notice and move to Seattle too. If he has 3 years left in his contract, he has to live where the military tells him for the next 3 years. That might be Ft. Hood, it might be on Okinawa, it might be in Germany....The point is, he has no choice.

OMG, has this actually happened to you or are you just speculating based on nothing? Dad can most certainly petition the court and make her move back. I had to ask permission to move 40 miles which is what is most often the case. If she moved before the divorce is finalized, the judge will not look fondly on her antics and can and probably will order her to move back so the children have access to their father. But hey, best to go on an angry tirade against mothers with no concept of the law I guess.

OMG, no it has not happened to me. I am married to my childrens father, who is retired military, so I have seen cases like this happen. Honestly, from what I have seen (but not experienced myself) is "it depends." I've seen it go in many ways, and I wasn't always privy to all factors in the situation so I can't necessarily explain why.

One thing to take into consideration is military members can deploy at ANY time. There were several times that my own husband only got a few weeks notice to deploy overseas, and one time where he literally only got 3 days notice that he was leaving.
In a situation where the service member is likely to deploy (or perhaps even already knows of an upcoming deployment) it is absurd to require the mom to stay in a strange town, with no local family/support, and exH/dad overseas for an entire year.
And then what happens when the military member has PCS orders (military moves him to a new duty station?) The courts can't force his ex wife to move with him--and it would be pretty much impossible, even if ex wife agreed to it, for overseas locations like Korea or Okinawa.

So then what the hell is your point??? Honest question? Is mom the bad guy for wanting to move to a town where she might have some support while he is deployed or do you find that acceptable? I can't tell from your posts because they contradict each other.

Calm down. There is no contradiction. I'm just explaining how things are. Many posters here seem to be making arguments on what military members and their ex spouses should/could do that are not necessarily based in reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't get this excuse-making. Maybe I'm crazy but I would never give up my parenting time because I "felt alienated". And I would be willing to live in an awful apartment with roommates, be on food stamps, work two jobs, whatever it took to live nearby. If I only got the worst parenting time, if it were only orthodontist visits and 5 am crew practice l, I'd be there. If I couldn't get parenting time, I would be at every public event. If my ex hates me and tried to make my DC hate me, I still wouldn't give up. I really don't understand people who give up trying to have a relationship with their kids.

You choose a bad spouse. Mine does all that and more, including the five am sports.

Did you even read the post you quoted? Your response makes no sense.

The post is complaining about every day parenting tasks. The things we all do.

You totally missed the point.

No, I did not. Both mom and dads do those things every day. Your ex may suck but there are lots of dads who do all that and more. It’s sad you hate men so much and are raising a son who is going to pick up on your nasty attitudes.

You don’t seem to get that if a mom moves, mom may not want dad involved if she has a new partner. She may want to hide the affair and pretend AP is dad. Not all men can just up and quit to chase around mom and her AP every time they move.

Not all moms will allow dads even their visitation time let alone extra time to go to school events, activities, etc and will tell the schools dad is not allowed and some schools follow the court order, some mom.

Who gives a flying eff what the mom wants?

Are you really saying that if your spouse moved your kid out of state with an AP you’d just give up? Prioritize keeping your military career over your relationship with your kids?

If so you’re a garbage parent and person.

You think you can just walk away and quit and give your two week notice? It doesn't work like that. And, it's often not easy getting a job outside the military as the career fields are not transferable which means you need to retrain or get a different degree. You think Dad should just up and move every time mom moves and chase her and hope she'll allow a visit? How would he pay child support an alimony if he quit his job? Then, you'd complain he was a deadbeat.

There is nothing I wouldn't do for my kid.

So, you’d get court marshaled and go to prison?

did you even read the post I was responding to? If not, please do that.

Yes, I would get retrained and move across the world if necessary to be near my kid. No, I would not kidnap the child. Does that compute better with your little brain?

I'm not the pp you are responding to, but you're insults are revolting and uncalled for.

In the military, you can't just quit whenever you want. If Dad is stationed at Ft. Hood in Texas and mom decides she wants to move to Seattle, Dad can't just put in his two weeks notice and move to Seattle too. If he has 3 years left in his contract, he has to live where the military tells him for the next 3 years. That might be Ft. Hood, it might be on Okinawa, it might be in Germany....The point is, he has no choice.

OMG, has this actually happened to you or are you just speculating based on nothing? Dad can most certainly petition the court and make her move back. I had to ask permission to move 40 miles which is what is most often the case. If she moved before the divorce is finalized, the judge will not look fondly on her antics and can and probably will order her to move back so the children have access to their father. But hey, best to go on an angry tirade against mothers with no concept of the law I guess.

OMG, no it has not happened to me. I am married to my childrens father, who is retired military, so I have seen cases like this happen. Honestly, from what I have seen (but not experienced myself) is "it depends." I've seen it go in many ways, and I wasn't always privy to all factors in the situation so I can't necessarily explain why.

One thing to take into consideration is military members can deploy at ANY time. There were several times that my own husband only got a few weeks notice to deploy overseas, and one time where he literally only got 3 days notice that he was leaving.
In a situation where the service member is likely to deploy (or perhaps even already knows of an upcoming deployment) it is absurd to require the mom to stay in a strange town, with no local family/support, and exH/dad overseas for an entire year.
And then what happens when the military member has PCS orders (military moves him to a new duty station?) The courts can't force his ex wife to move with him--and it would be pretty much impossible, even if ex wife agreed to it, for overseas locations like Korea or Okinawa.

So then what the hell is your point??? Honest question? Is mom the bad guy for wanting to move to a town where she might have some support while he is deployed or do you find that acceptable? I can't tell from your posts because they contradict each other.

Calm down. There is no contradiction. I'm just explaining how things are. Many posters here seem to be making arguments on what military members and their ex spouses should/could do that are not necessarily based in reality.

DP, and you're right, it's not simple or easy when you're in the military. But that doesn't excuse the dad who never fought for his kids and stayed in the military until he got his pension. It's true that in the short-medium term the dad is going to have a hard time. But that dad just completely abandoned his kids permanently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't get this excuse-making. Maybe I'm crazy but I would never give up my parenting time because I "felt alienated". And I would be willing to live in an awful apartment with roommates, be on food stamps, work two jobs, whatever it took to live nearby. If I only got the worst parenting time, if it were only orthodontist visits and 5 am crew practice l, I'd be there. If I couldn't get parenting time, I would be at every public event. If my ex hates me and tried to make my DC hate me, I still wouldn't give up. I really don't understand people who give up trying to have a relationship with their kids.

You choose a bad spouse. Mine does all that and more, including the five am sports.

Did you even read the post you quoted? Your response makes no sense.

The post is complaining about every day parenting tasks. The things we all do.

You totally missed the point.

No, I did not. Both mom and dads do those things every day. Your ex may suck but there are lots of dads who do all that and more. It’s sad you hate men so much and are raising a son who is going to pick up on your nasty attitudes.

You don’t seem to get that if a mom moves, mom may not want dad involved if she has a new partner. She may want to hide the affair and pretend AP is dad. Not all men can just up and quit to chase around mom and her AP every time they move.

Not all moms will allow dads even their visitation time let alone extra time to go to school events, activities, etc and will tell the schools dad is not allowed and some schools follow the court order, some mom.

Who gives a flying eff what the mom wants?

Are you really saying that if your spouse moved your kid out of state with an AP you’d just give up? Prioritize keeping your military career over your relationship with your kids?

If so you’re a garbage parent and person.

You think you can just walk away and quit and give your two week notice? It doesn't work like that. And, it's often not easy getting a job outside the military as the career fields are not transferable which means you need to retrain or get a different degree. You think Dad should just up and move every time mom moves and chase her and hope she'll allow a visit? How would he pay child support an alimony if he quit his job? Then, you'd complain he was a deadbeat.

There is nothing I wouldn't do for my kid.

So, you’d get court marshaled and go to prison?

did you even read the post I was responding to? If not, please do that.

Yes, I would get retrained and move across the world if necessary to be near my kid. No, I would not kidnap the child. Does that compute better with your little brain?

I'm not the pp you are responding to, but you're insults are revolting and uncalled for.

In the military, you can't just quit whenever you want. If Dad is stationed at Ft. Hood in Texas and mom decides she wants to move to Seattle, Dad can't just put in his two weeks notice and move to Seattle too. If he has 3 years left in his contract, he has to live where the military tells him for the next 3 years. That might be Ft. Hood, it might be on Okinawa, it might be in Germany....The point is, he has no choice.

OMG, has this actually happened to you or are you just speculating based on nothing? Dad can most certainly petition the court and make her move back. I had to ask permission to move 40 miles which is what is most often the case. If she moved before the divorce is finalized, the judge will not look fondly on her antics and can and probably will order her to move back so the children have access to their father. But hey, best to go on an angry tirade against mothers with no concept of the law I guess.

OMG, no it has not happened to me. I am married to my childrens father, who is retired military, so I have seen cases like this happen. Honestly, from what I have seen (but not experienced myself) is "it depends." I've seen it go in many ways, and I wasn't always privy to all factors in the situation so I can't necessarily explain why.

One thing to take into consideration is military members can deploy at ANY time. There were several times that my own husband only got a few weeks notice to deploy overseas, and one time where he literally only got 3 days notice that he was leaving.
In a situation where the service member is likely to deploy (or perhaps even already knows of an upcoming deployment) it is absurd to require the mom to stay in a strange town, with no local family/support, and exH/dad overseas for an entire year.
And then what happens when the military member has PCS orders (military moves him to a new duty station?) The courts can't force his ex wife to move with him--and it would be pretty much impossible, even if ex wife agreed to it, for overseas locations like Korea or Okinawa.

So then what the hell is your point??? Honest question? Is mom the bad guy for wanting to move to a town where she might have some support while he is deployed or do you find that acceptable? I can't tell from your posts because they contradict each other.

Calm down. There is no contradiction. I'm just explaining how things are. Many posters here seem to be making arguments on what military members and their ex spouses should/could do that are not necessarily based in reality.

DP, and you're right, it's not simple or easy when you're in the military. But that doesn't excuse the dad who never fought for his kids and stayed in the military until he got his pension. It's true that in the short-medium term the dad is going to have a hard time. But that dad just completely abandoned his kids permanently.

PP you quoted here.
Hmmm again I'd have to say "it depends." I don't know the poster you are talking about and what the specifics of their situation are. But if a military member already has 16-17 years in, it would be foolish to just give up the retirement.
If dad has 12 years in, signs re-enlistment papers, then shortly after he and mom divorce....he still has to serve those 4 years. When he is "free" of those years, he'll only have 4 more years till retirement.

In the meantime, mom has potentially moved and remarried-and I'll tell you, more often than not, she has remarried another military member. The kids could be living with mom and her new husband on Guam. If you just get out of the military, try to go to court for custody when you now have no job (and will be spending your time "training" for a new career) and no established housing, how likely do you think it will be that a judge will rip your kids away from the mom and step dad that they have been living with the last 4 years? Away from the secure housing, DOD schools, and friends they have established?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't get this excuse-making. Maybe I'm crazy but I would never give up my parenting time because I "felt alienated". And I would be willing to live in an awful apartment with roommates, be on food stamps, work two jobs, whatever it took to live nearby. If I only got the worst parenting time, if it were only orthodontist visits and 5 am crew practice l, I'd be there. If I couldn't get parenting time, I would be at every public event. If my ex hates me and tried to make my DC hate me, I still wouldn't give up. I really don't understand people who give up trying to have a relationship with their kids.

You choose a bad spouse. Mine does all that and more, including the five am sports.

Did you even read the post you quoted? Your response makes no sense.

The post is complaining about every day parenting tasks. The things we all do.

You totally missed the point.

No, I did not. Both mom and dads do those things every day. Your ex may suck but there are lots of dads who do all that and more. It’s sad you hate men so much and are raising a son who is going to pick up on your nasty attitudes.

You don’t seem to get that if a mom moves, mom may not want dad involved if she has a new partner. She may want to hide the affair and pretend AP is dad. Not all men can just up and quit to chase around mom and her AP every time they move.

Not all moms will allow dads even their visitation time let alone extra time to go to school events, activities, etc and will tell the schools dad is not allowed and some schools follow the court order, some mom.

Who gives a flying eff what the mom wants?

Are you really saying that if your spouse moved your kid out of state with an AP you’d just give up? Prioritize keeping your military career over your relationship with your kids?

If so you’re a garbage parent and person.

You think you can just walk away and quit and give your two week notice? It doesn't work like that. And, it's often not easy getting a job outside the military as the career fields are not transferable which means you need to retrain or get a different degree. You think Dad should just up and move every time mom moves and chase her and hope she'll allow a visit? How would he pay child support an alimony if he quit his job? Then, you'd complain he was a deadbeat.

There is nothing I wouldn't do for my kid.

So, you’d get court marshaled and go to prison?

did you even read the post I was responding to? If not, please do that.

Yes, I would get retrained and move across the world if necessary to be near my kid. No, I would not kidnap the child. Does that compute better with your little brain?

I'm not the pp you are responding to, but you're insults are revolting and uncalled for.

In the military, you can't just quit whenever you want. If Dad is stationed at Ft. Hood in Texas and mom decides she wants to move to Seattle, Dad can't just put in his two weeks notice and move to Seattle too. If he has 3 years left in his contract, he has to live where the military tells him for the next 3 years. That might be Ft. Hood, it might be on Okinawa, it might be in Germany....The point is, he has no choice.

OMG, has this actually happened to you or are you just speculating based on nothing? Dad can most certainly petition the court and make her move back. I had to ask permission to move 40 miles which is what is most often the case. If she moved before the divorce is finalized, the judge will not look fondly on her antics and can and probably will order her to move back so the children have access to their father. But hey, best to go on an angry tirade against mothers with no concept of the law I guess.

OMG, no it has not happened to me. I am married to my childrens father, who is retired military, so I have seen cases like this happen. Honestly, from what I have seen (but not experienced myself) is "it depends." I've seen it go in many ways, and I wasn't always privy to all factors in the situation so I can't necessarily explain why.

One thing to take into consideration is military members can deploy at ANY time. There were several times that my own husband only got a few weeks notice to deploy overseas, and one time where he literally only got 3 days notice that he was leaving.
In a situation where the service member is likely to deploy (or perhaps even already knows of an upcoming deployment) it is absurd to require the mom to stay in a strange town, with no local family/support, and exH/dad overseas for an entire year.
And then what happens when the military member has PCS orders (military moves him to a new duty station?) The courts can't force his ex wife to move with him--and it would be pretty much impossible, even if ex wife agreed to it, for overseas locations like Korea or Okinawa.

So then what the hell is your point??? Honest question? Is mom the bad guy for wanting to move to a town where she might have some support while he is deployed or do you find that acceptable? I can't tell from your posts because they contradict each other.

Calm down. There is no contradiction. I'm just explaining how things are. Many posters here seem to be making arguments on what military members and their ex spouses should/could do that are not necessarily based in reality.

DP, and you're right, it's not simple or easy when you're in the military. But that doesn't excuse the dad who never fought for his kids and stayed in the military until he got his pension. It's true that in the short-medium term the dad is going to have a hard time. But that dad just completely abandoned his kids permanently.

PP you quoted here.
Hmmm again I'd have to say "it depends." I don't know the poster you are talking about and what the specifics of their situation are. But if a military member already has 16-17 years in, it would be foolish to just give up the retirement.
If dad has 12 years in, signs re-enlistment papers, then shortly after he and mom divorce....he still has to serve those 4 years. When he is "free" of those years, he'll only have 4 more years till retirement.

In the meantime, mom has potentially moved and remarried-and I'll tell you, more often than not, she has remarried another military member. The kids could be living with mom and her new husband on Guam. If you just get out of the military, try to go to court for custody when you now have no job (and will be spending your time "training" for a new career) and no established housing, how likely do you think it will be that a judge will rip your kids away from the mom and step dad that they have been living with the last 4 years? Away from the secure housing, DOD schools, and friends they have established?

Well fine then. He can make his choice. But it's nothing to pity him for. He chose the pension and the career over his kids.