Why is it so acceptable to alienate Dad?

[Anonymous]

Dad wants to see his kid. Mom refuses.

[ShootingStar]

Does dad want to parent his kid or just see his kid?

[Anonymous]

I’m pretty sure mom can’t just refuse, even if dad isn’t paying support. Need more details.

[Anonymous]

I see it with my boyfriend, he tries to call the kids, they don't answer, he texts his XW, she doesn't respond or have kids call, rinse and repeat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see it with my boyfriend, he tries to call the kids, they don't answer, he texts his XW, she doesn't respond or have kids call, rinse and repeat.

Does the custody arrangement specify phone calls? Because it's not really mom's job to make the kids call their dad. It's the dad's job to use his parenting time to build a strong enough relationship that the kids want to talk to him. Plenty of dads manage to do it.

[Anonymous]

Why is it acceptable to alienate mom? They called him stubborn. His own family didn't dare to call him out on it.

[Anonymous]

Is Dad taking into account the child’s schedule and mental health and safety when he asks to spend time with his children?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes Dad has done things that make the kids not want to see him, OP. Which might include being mean to their Mom... it always astonishes me how divorced fathers are all surprised that their kids actually paid attention and noticed when the fathers in question were being jerks around the house.

[Anonymous]

From viewing this dynamic externally, it’s usually mom honoring the kids wishes. Children are more observant and emotionally intelligent than most adults are able to recognize.

Be the steady reliable parent/co parent that is included. Start before you separate. Start before your kid is born.

[Anonymous]

Why did Dad have kids with this woman?

[Anonymous]

When I've seen this complaint from dads, it's usually because Dad sees his visitation/custody time as something he "owns" and his right to control his child during that time. He doesn't see the time as an opportunity to be part of his kid's life.

A couple years ago there was a several page thread where a Dad was mad that his daughter was on a dance team, and the team practiced on friday nights (he had every other weekend, including friday nights.)
He didn't think his daughter should go to dance rehersal on "his" time. Instead of seeing thisn (bringing her to rehersal) as an opportunity to be part of something she loved he saw it as his ex trying to keep him from having exclusive access to his daughter during "his" time.
Some Dad's feel if their kid happens to have any hobbies, sports, time with friends, etc. on "his" time, it's some devious plot on the part of the mom to "alienate" dad.

[Anonymous]

If they’re old enough to have phones and reject his calls I really don’t think you can pin this on the mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they’re old enough to have phones and reject his calls I really don’t think you can pin this on the mom.

He will certainly try, though. These MRA jerks love to blame women for their own relationship problems. In your scenario, the only reason a kid has for rejecting dad is mom’s influence. The idea that his own parenting and personality flaws are his own responsibilities is foreign to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see it with my boyfriend, he tries to call the kids, they don't answer, he texts his XW, she doesn't respond or have kids call, rinse and repeat.

Sounds like your boyfriend needs a secretary who can understand custody docs and plan his time appropriately for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see it with my boyfriend, he tries to call the kids, they don't answer, he texts his XW, she doesn't respond or have kids call, rinse and repeat.

Does the custody arrangement specify phone calls? Because it's not really mom's job to make the kids call their dad. It's the dad's job to use his parenting time to build a strong enough relationship that the kids want to talk to him. Plenty of dads manage to do it.

Most custody agreements are meaningless except if you have two rational reasonable people who are willing to work together. Dad cannot have a relationship without mom's support if she refuses contact. How does he get around her? He can't.