Why is it so acceptable to alienate Dad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they’re old enough to have phones and reject his calls I really don’t think you can pin this on the mom.

He will certainly try, though. These MRA jerks love to blame women for their own relationship problems. In your scenario, the only reason a kid has for rejecting dad is mom’s influence. The idea that his own parenting and personality flaws are his own responsibilities is foreign to him.

How about the MRA women who refuse to allow Dad's to be equal parents when they want to be and expect the Dad's to jump though all their games and hoops and still refuse contact. He cannot parent if she doesn't allow it. Courts are a joke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I've seen this complaint from dads, it's usually because Dad sees his visitation/custody time as something he "owns" and his right to control his child during that time. He doesn't see the time as an opportunity to be part of his kid's life.

A couple years ago there was a several page thread where a Dad was mad that his daughter was on a dance team, and the team practiced on friday nights (he had every other weekend, including friday nights.)
He didn't think his daughter should go to dance rehersal on "his" time. Instead of seeing thisn (bringing her to rehersal) as an opportunity to be part of something she loved he saw it as his ex trying to keep him from having exclusive access to his daughter during "his" time.
Some Dad's feel if their kid happens to have any hobbies, sports, time with friends, etc. on "his" time, it's some devious plot on the part of the mom to "alienate" dad.

Remember if his time is only two fridays a month, then no, it's not reasonable to schedule something on his time without his consent or Mom needs to be willing to readjust the schedule to give him some time for a visit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they’re old enough to have phones and reject his calls I really don’t think you can pin this on the mom.

He will certainly try, though. These MRA jerks love to blame women for their own relationship problems. In your scenario, the only reason a kid has for rejecting dad is mom’s influence. The idea that his own parenting and personality flaws are his own responsibilities is foreign to him.

How about the MRA women who refuse to allow Dad's to be equal parents when they want to be and expect the Dad's to jump though all their games and hoops and still refuse contact. He cannot parent if she doesn't allow it. Courts are a joke.

If you don't know what "MRA" stands for, you should have just asked pp for clarification. Trying to use it in a sentence when you don't know what it means makes you look foolish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I've seen this complaint from dads, it's usually because Dad sees his visitation/custody time as something he "owns" and his right to control his child during that time. He doesn't see the time as an opportunity to be part of his kid's life.

A couple years ago there was a several page thread where a Dad was mad that his daughter was on a dance team, and the team practiced on friday nights (he had every other weekend, including friday nights.)
He didn't think his daughter should go to dance rehersal on "his" time. Instead of seeing thisn (bringing her to rehersal) as an opportunity to be part of something she loved he saw it as his ex trying to keep him from having exclusive access to his daughter during "his" time.
Some Dad's feel if their kid happens to have any hobbies, sports, time with friends, etc. on "his" time, it's some devious plot on the part of the mom to "alienate" dad.

Remember if his time is only two fridays a month, then no, it's not reasonable to schedule something on his time without his consent or Mom needs to be willing to readjust the schedule to give him some time for a visit.

Mom doesn't set the schedule for team rehearsals. The dance studio does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I've seen this complaint from dads, it's usually because Dad sees his visitation/custody time as something he "owns" and his right to control his child during that time. He doesn't see the time as an opportunity to be part of his kid's life.

A couple years ago there was a several page thread where a Dad was mad that his daughter was on a dance team, and the team practiced on friday nights (he had every other weekend, including friday nights.)
He didn't think his daughter should go to dance rehersal on "his" time. Instead of seeing thisn (bringing her to rehersal) as an opportunity to be part of something she loved he saw it as his ex trying to keep him from having exclusive access to his daughter during "his" time.
Some Dad's feel if their kid happens to have any hobbies, sports, time with friends, etc. on "his" time, it's some devious plot on the part of the mom to "alienate" dad.

Remember if his time is only two fridays a month, then no, it's not reasonable to schedule something on his time without his consent or Mom needs to be willing to readjust the schedule to give him some time for a visit.

It’s not “a visit” it’s parenting time. During parenting time you parent your kids which means doing both the fun parts and the less fun parts like helping them with homework, and schlepping them to practice. They aren’t there to entertain you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I've seen this complaint from dads, it's usually because Dad sees his visitation/custody time as something he "owns" and his right to control his child during that time. He doesn't see the time as an opportunity to be part of his kid's life.

A couple years ago there was a several page thread where a Dad was mad that his daughter was on a dance team, and the team practiced on friday nights (he had every other weekend, including friday nights.)
He didn't think his daughter should go to dance rehersal on "his" time. Instead of seeing thisn (bringing her to rehersal) as an opportunity to be part of something she loved he saw it as his ex trying to keep him from having exclusive access to his daughter during "his" time.
Some Dad's feel if their kid happens to have any hobbies, sports, time with friends, etc. on "his" time, it's some devious plot on the part of the mom to "alienate" dad.

Remember if his time is only two fridays a month, then no, it's not reasonable to schedule something on his time without his consent or Mom needs to be willing to readjust the schedule to give him some time for a visit.

You think kids should be denied the opportunity to participate in the extracurricular activity of their choice because of a custody agreement they didn’t have any say in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see it with my boyfriend, he tries to call the kids, they don't answer, he texts his XW, she doesn't respond or have kids call, rinse and repeat.

Does the custody arrangement specify phone calls? Because it's not really mom's job to make the kids call their dad. It's the dad's job to use his parenting time to build a strong enough relationship that the kids want to talk to him. Plenty of dads manage to do it.

Most custody agreements are meaningless except if you have two rational reasonable people who are willing to work together. Dad cannot have a relationship without mom's support if she refuses contact. How does he get around her? He can't.

You clearly don’t understand custody.

If he has a court order agreement he shows up and gets the kids, if she refuses you request a police stand by.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see it with my boyfriend, he tries to call the kids, they don't answer, he texts his XW, she doesn't respond or have kids call, rinse and repeat.

Does the custody arrangement specify phone calls? Because it's not really mom's job to make the kids call their dad. It's the dad's job to use his parenting time to build a strong enough relationship that the kids want to talk to him. Plenty of dads manage to do it.

Most custody agreements are meaningless except if you have two rational reasonable people who are willing to work together. Dad cannot have a relationship without mom's support if she refuses contact. How does he get around her? He can't.

You clearly don’t understand custody.

If he has a court order agreement he shows up and gets the kids, if she refuses you request a police stand by.

Good luck doing that if the kid is about 15+

[Anonymous]

Also there should be retroactive fines to Mom for stalling custody/visitation if the kid is 17 and she refuses to take him to see Dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also there should be retroactive fines to Mom for stalling custody/visitation if the kid is 17 and she refuses to take him to see Dad.

Why can't Dad come pick him up? Or if 17 year old actually WANTS to see dad, they will figure out a way to get there. Even if they don't have a license/car of their own--believe me a 17 year old can figure out how to get there. Friends, bus, bike, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I've seen this complaint from dads, it's usually because Dad sees his visitation/custody time as something he "owns" and his right to control his child during that time. He doesn't see the time as an opportunity to be part of his kid's life.

A couple years ago there was a several page thread where a Dad was mad that his daughter was on a dance team, and the team practiced on friday nights (he had every other weekend, including friday nights.)
He didn't think his daughter should go to dance rehersal on "his" time. Instead of seeing thisn (bringing her to rehersal) as an opportunity to be part of something she loved he saw it as his ex trying to keep him from having exclusive access to his daughter during "his" time.
Some Dad's feel if their kid happens to have any hobbies, sports, time with friends, etc. on "his" time, it's some devious plot on the part of the mom to "alienate" dad.

Remember if his time is only two fridays a month, then no, it's not reasonable to schedule something on his time without his consent or Mom needs to be willing to readjust the schedule to give him some time for a visit.

You think kids should be denied the opportunity to participate in the extracurricular activity of their choice because of a custody agreement they didn’t have any say in?

If dad gets almost no time and those days have scheduled activities, don’t be surprised when dad feels alienated and gives up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did Dad have kids with this woman?

Why did the woman have kids with such a horrible man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I've seen this complaint from dads, it's usually because Dad sees his visitation/custody time as something he "owns" and his right to control his child during that time. He doesn't see the time as an opportunity to be part of his kid's life.

A couple years ago there was a several page thread where a Dad was mad that his daughter was on a dance team, and the team practiced on friday nights (he had every other weekend, including friday nights.)
He didn't think his daughter should go to dance rehersal on "his" time. Instead of seeing thisn (bringing her to rehersal) as an opportunity to be part of something she loved he saw it as his ex trying to keep him from having exclusive access to his daughter during "his" time.
Some Dad's feel if their kid happens to have any hobbies, sports, time with friends, etc. on "his" time, it's some devious plot on the part of the mom to "alienate" dad.

Remember if his time is only two fridays a month, then no, it's not reasonable to schedule something on his time without his consent or Mom needs to be willing to readjust the schedule to give him some time for a visit.

You think kids should be denied the opportunity to participate in the extracurricular activity of their choice because of a custody agreement they didn’t have any say in?

If dad gets almost no time and those days have scheduled activities, don’t be surprised when dad feels alienated and gives up.

Why wouldn't the dad go to those scheduled activities?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I've seen this complaint from dads, it's usually because Dad sees his visitation/custody time as something he "owns" and his right to control his child during that time. He doesn't see the time as an opportunity to be part of his kid's life.

A couple years ago there was a several page thread where a Dad was mad that his daughter was on a dance team, and the team practiced on friday nights (he had every other weekend, including friday nights.)
He didn't think his daughter should go to dance rehersal on "his" time. Instead of seeing thisn (bringing her to rehersal) as an opportunity to be part of something she loved he saw it as his ex trying to keep him from having exclusive access to his daughter during "his" time.
Some Dad's feel if their kid happens to have any hobbies, sports, time with friends, etc. on "his" time, it's some devious plot on the part of the mom to "alienate" dad.

Remember if his time is only two fridays a month, then no, it's not reasonable to schedule something on his time without his consent or Mom needs to be willing to readjust the schedule to give him some time for a visit.

It’s not “a visit” it’s parenting time. During parenting time you parent your kids which means doing both the fun parts and the less fun parts like helping them with homework, and schlepping them to practice. They aren’t there to entertain you.

Exactly this, and the mom is not your butler/concierge. Why would she need to bring the kids to you? Go get them. Why would she need to schedule phone calls between the dad and the kid? Schedule it yourself. Be the damn parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I've seen this complaint from dads, it's usually because Dad sees his visitation/custody time as something he "owns" and his right to control his child during that time. He doesn't see the time as an opportunity to be part of his kid's life.

A couple years ago there was a several page thread where a Dad was mad that his daughter was on a dance team, and the team practiced on friday nights (he had every other weekend, including friday nights.)
He didn't think his daughter should go to dance rehersal on "his" time. Instead of seeing thisn (bringing her to rehersal) as an opportunity to be part of something she loved he saw it as his ex trying to keep him from having exclusive access to his daughter during "his" time.
Some Dad's feel if their kid happens to have any hobbies, sports, time with friends, etc. on "his" time, it's some devious plot on the part of the mom to "alienate" dad.

Remember if his time is only two fridays a month, then no, it's not reasonable to schedule something on his time without his consent or Mom needs to be willing to readjust the schedule to give him some time for a visit.

You think kids should be denied the opportunity to participate in the extracurricular activity of their choice because of a custody agreement they didn’t have any say in?

If dad gets almost no time and those days have scheduled activities, don’t be surprised when dad feels alienated and gives up.

Seems like a grown adult parent should deal with his feelings and cope.

Any dad who has so little visitation has consented to it. He can’t cry now that he doesn’t have a better relationship with his kids. All his choices.