New observation: Men now want high earning women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s the ‘20s. Men are absolutely looking for high wage earning women. Women have been seeking out men who earn more for century, it should be no surprise that ultimately men we’re going to do the same.


Welcome to the mid but we’re in the mid 20s, ladies!

The big question is whether or not men are now going to do half the childcare, cooking, and housework. Based on my observations it seems like marriage has less and less to offer women, but we shall see.

That is the problem. Men now want it all. They want a high earner for a wife AND they still expect the wife to do all of this other work. This is why I am divorced. I do not think marriage offers any benefit. It offered me zero.

+1 back to those physician moms. Not only are they working less than their physician spouses to care for the children, they are harried off their feet trying to be super mom volunteering in school while working their jobs. i see surgeon mom in school but never surgeon dad. ER mom cuts down to three days a week at her job while ER dad takes on two jobs and travel. so now they are all burdened with work school and childcare. i rather be mansion mom who lunches and plays tennis, life seems easier.

+1 I tell my daughters not to go into medicine. The education costs are astronomical, the average salaries aren't high these days, there's little WFH flexibility, and you're going a million miles per hour during your shift. The two female doctors who I know really well have it rough. Both of them had to drop down to part time just to keep their families afloat. Now they don't earn much. One of them has a husband who does help with the kids, but he's not a high earner. He has family money though so they're doing fine. The other has a physician spouse who concentrates on his career. The wife is a great mother but she handles the house and kid stuff and she's just going, going, going all day every day.

Kind of a sidebar, but I also warn my girls not to go into low-paying fields. The whole spend hundreds of thousands of dollars and 11+ years of education to earn less than they could with an easy WFH job is for the trust fund set. Same with many nonprofit jobs. Those are for the trust fund kids or people with wealthy spouses. Prestigious with low pay isn't for most of us.

Actually don’t be too down on medicine for your daughters. I have noticed that in other high flying lucrative professions such as law or banking or consulting many women quit after children, especially if they have high income husbands. The doctors return however. I have thought about it and I think it’s because medicine can be quite flexible depending on the specialty. Like I see the female doctors working less days. The paying your dues and insane hours happen more in your youth, but once you become an attending it’s easier to control hours. Also asides from continuing education it seems easier for doctors to return to the work force after taking time off vs other professions where you become obsolete if you don’t keep one foot in. The girl just has to be smart about the speciality, there is a reason why most dermatologists are women.

Exactly! Specialty is what matters most in medicine. My brother is a dermatologist and has a great quality of life.

One doesn’t just say “I want derm” and it happens.

It is one of the hardest specialities to match to.

No guaruntee that you land derm during med school for res matching….and then what?

If derm is what makes or breaks your desire To be a doc, it’s not something you should bank on

Family practice and pediatrics is pretty flexible too. All the prestigious careers are difficult. But so far medicine seems easier for women to return to than the others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of relying on anecdotes oh look another recent study about elite one percenters. I am too lazy to summarize but women’s incomes inconsequential in 85 percent of top one percent elite households. Also high performing women only married high performing men but high performing men married more economically diverse women. Sorry to burst your bubble… again.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0003122418820702

That doesn’t at all contradict the premise of this thread.

It does. High earning income potential is not significant unless you aren’t a high earning man. Then you actually need the income to make up your lifestyle.

This doesn’t narrow down the relevant age range, so it’s not relevant to the question of dating/spouse selection. Many women of rich men downshift, not because they can’t make more money, but because they don’t have to. But at the time of spouse selection, men don’t know if they’re being to be career successes or not, and younger men understand spouse selection is a bet hedge.

Keep arguing to validate yourself and check back in ten years. It’s laughable that you are arguing when you self admittedly downgraded to a hobby job since your DH earns seven figures. It’s definitely not your income that keeps him there, and with each year that potential income diminishes while you are out of that high flying job no matter what degree you got.

You still don’t get it. It’s not about why we are still married. It’s about why he married me, out of all of the options he had, at the time he was dating. And he will tell you bluntly my income potential was a factor. My income was also was, of course, a major factor in our current net worth. If he hadn’t won big in the corporate game, I would have been able to keep our kids in private school on my own. It happens that that’s not how our lives worked out, but I never would have quit if we needed my income.

Good luck with your attitude. Because of your ivy league degree you can guide your child through college applications - do you even hear how arrogant you sound and entertain clients. I've been to many a function and spouses aren't usually invited except during holiday dinners. Just from this thread alone the pompousness shows through. I don't see you keeping your foot in the corporate game and earning more money so you can outsource the childcare to nannies, as the original proposal said. You are a sell out just like the rest of us. I am from the exact same demographic you keep boasting about and I would never think this way about the other moms or women or even judge. You sure must be popular at your private school PTA.

You are the exact archetype and hypocrite - your education gave you a check mark but your income didn't matter in the end we are talking about.

Did you reply to the wrong post? I didn’t say anything you are talking about here.

You have a lower paying job but keep insisting men care about high income when others tell you the income doesn’t matter in general. Education has become more important as it has replaced family status as a status symbol and also because you get access to the high income men in college and in the workplace. To keep riffing on what higher income men want when you are a stereotype of a highly educated underemployed/SAHM, which has existed for decades, is hypocritical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s the ‘20s. Men are absolutely looking for high wage earning women. Women have been seeking out men who earn more for century, it should be no surprise that ultimately men we’re going to do the same.


Welcome to the mid but we’re in the mid 20s, ladies!

The big question is whether or not men are now going to do half the childcare, cooking, and housework. Based on my observations it seems like marriage has less and less to offer women, but we shall see.

That is the problem. Men now want it all. They want a high earner for a wife AND they still expect the wife to do all of this other work. This is why I am divorced. I do not think marriage offers any benefit. It offered me zero.

+1 back to those physician moms. Not only are they working less than their physician spouses to care for the children, they are harried off their feet trying to be super mom volunteering in school while working their jobs. i see surgeon mom in school but never surgeon dad. ER mom cuts down to three days a week at her job while ER dad takes on two jobs and travel. so now they are all burdened with work school and childcare. i rather be mansion mom who lunches and plays tennis, life seems easier.

+1 I tell my daughters not to go into medicine. The education costs are astronomical, the average salaries aren't high these days, there's little WFH flexibility, and you're going a million miles per hour during your shift. The two female doctors who I know really well have it rough. Both of them had to drop down to part time just to keep their families afloat. Now they don't earn much. One of them has a husband who does help with the kids, but he's not a high earner. He has family money though so they're doing fine. The other has a physician spouse who concentrates on his career. The wife is a great mother but she handles the house and kid stuff and she's just going, going, going all day every day.

Kind of a sidebar, but I also warn my girls not to go into low-paying fields. The whole spend hundreds of thousands of dollars and 11+ years of education to earn less than they could with an easy WFH job is for the trust fund set. Same with many nonprofit jobs. Those are for the trust fund kids or people with wealthy spouses. Prestigious with low pay isn't for most of us.

Actually don’t be too down on medicine for your daughters. I have noticed that in other high flying lucrative professions such as law or banking or consulting many women quit after children, especially if they have high income husbands. The doctors return however. I have thought about it and I think it’s because medicine can be quite flexible depending on the specialty. Like I see the female doctors working less days. The paying your dues and insane hours happen more in your youth, but once you become an attending it’s easier to control hours. Also asides from continuing education it seems easier for doctors to return to the work force after taking time off vs other professions where you become obsolete if you don’t keep one foot in. The girl just has to be smart about the speciality, there is a reason why most dermatologists are women.

Exactly! Specialty is what matters most in medicine. My brother is a dermatologist and has a great quality of life.

One doesn’t just say “I want derm” and it happens.

It is one of the hardest specialities to match to.

No guaruntee that you land derm during med school for res matching….and then what?

If derm is what makes or breaks your desire To be a doc, it’s not something you should bank on

Family practice and pediatrics is pretty flexible too. All the prestigious careers are difficult. But so far medicine seems easier for women to return to than the others.

But if you want a decent paying job with possible flexibility and less sunk cost a nurse practitioner or physician assistant would work - you will still be attractive to men without that Harvard degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a couple who were both Harvard undergrad and none of their kids even went to college. It’s not a guarantee. And my high achieving Ivy educated friends mostly married men who were earners but worse educated. Go figure.

I did but he’s an earner (sales) and tall/attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a guy who dated college girls in college, waitresses when I was a bartender, beach bunnies when I spent a year surfing, and then law students when I was in law school. Why did I marry the law student? She was hot, smart, and kind. But a poor student at the time, just like me. Her future income potential never entered my mind, it was more like my wild days were over and it was time to settle down.

You are 70 years old, and have been out of the dating world for a long time.

Uh... I'm 41

Huh. You sound like a 70-year-old who hadn’t had physical contact with a woman in thirty years.

Can you provide more detail on why you made that incorrect assumption?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s the ‘20s. Men are absolutely looking for high wage earning women. Women have been seeking out men who earn more for century, it should be no surprise that ultimately men we’re going to do the same.


Welcome to the mid but we’re in the mid 20s, ladies!

The big question is whether or not men are now going to do half the childcare, cooking, and housework. Based on my observations it seems like marriage has less and less to offer women, but we shall see.

That is the problem. Men now want it all. They want a high earner for a wife AND they still expect the wife to do all of this other work. This is why I am divorced. I do not think marriage offers any benefit. It offered me zero.

+1 back to those physician moms. Not only are they working less than their physician spouses to care for the children, they are harried off their feet trying to be super mom volunteering in school while working their jobs. i see surgeon mom in school but never surgeon dad. ER mom cuts down to three days a week at her job while ER dad takes on two jobs and travel. so now they are all burdened with work school and childcare. i rather be mansion mom who lunches and plays tennis, life seems easier.

+1 I tell my daughters not to go into medicine. The education costs are astronomical, the average salaries aren't high these days, there's little WFH flexibility, and you're going a million miles per hour during your shift. The two female doctors who I know really well have it rough. Both of them had to drop down to part time just to keep their families afloat. Now they don't earn much. One of them has a husband who does help with the kids, but he's not a high earner. He has family money though so they're doing fine. The other has a physician spouse who concentrates on his career. The wife is a great mother but she handles the house and kid stuff and she's just going, going, going all day every day.

Kind of a sidebar, but I also warn my girls not to go into low-paying fields. The whole spend hundreds of thousands of dollars and 11+ years of education to earn less than they could with an easy WFH job is for the trust fund set. Same with many nonprofit jobs. Those are for the trust fund kids or people with wealthy spouses. Prestigious with low pay isn't for most of us.

Actually don’t be too down on medicine for your daughters. I have noticed that in other high flying lucrative professions such as law or banking or consulting many women quit after children, especially if they have high income husbands. The doctors return however. I have thought about it and I think it’s because medicine can be quite flexible depending on the specialty. Like I see the female doctors working less days. The paying your dues and insane hours happen more in your youth, but once you become an attending it’s easier to control hours. Also asides from continuing education it seems easier for doctors to return to the work force after taking time off vs other professions where you become obsolete if you don’t keep one foot in. The girl just has to be smart about the speciality, there is a reason why most dermatologists are women.

Exactly! Specialty is what matters most in medicine. My brother is a dermatologist and has a great quality of life.

One doesn’t just say “I want derm” and it happens.

It is one of the hardest specialities to match to.

No guaruntee that you land derm during med school for res matching….and then what?

If derm is what makes or breaks your desire To be a doc, it’s not something you should bank on

Family practice and pediatrics is pretty flexible too. All the prestigious careers are difficult. But so far medicine seems easier for women to return to than the others.

I don't know where you're getting your information. The burnout is real in primary care. With all of the notes, messages, and paperwork even if you're technically PT you're still clocking FT hours. I don't want to detail the thread, but want to paint a realistic picture of modern medicine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of relying on anecdotes oh look another recent study about elite one percenters. I am too lazy to summarize but women’s incomes inconsequential in 85 percent of top one percent elite households. Also high performing women only married high performing men but high performing men married more economically diverse women. Sorry to burst your bubble… again.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0003122418820702

That doesn’t at all contradict the premise of this thread.

It does. High earning income potential is not significant unless you aren’t a high earning man. Then you actually need the income to make up your lifestyle.

This doesn’t narrow down the relevant age range, so it’s not relevant to the question of dating/spouse selection. Many women of rich men downshift, not because they can’t make more money, but because they don’t have to. But at the time of spouse selection, men don’t know if they’re being to be career successes or not, and younger men understand spouse selection is a bet hedge.

Keep arguing to validate yourself and check back in ten years. It’s laughable that you are arguing when you self admittedly downgraded to a hobby job since your DH earns seven figures. It’s definitely not your income that keeps him there, and with each year that potential income diminishes while you are out of that high flying job no matter what degree you got.

You still don’t get it. It’s not about why we are still married. It’s about why he married me, out of all of the options he had, at the time he was dating. And he will tell you bluntly my income potential was a factor. My income was also was, of course, a major factor in our current net worth. If he hadn’t won big in the corporate game, I would have been able to keep our kids in private school on my own. It happens that that’s not how our lives worked out, but I never would have quit if we needed my income.

Good luck with your attitude. Because of your ivy league degree you can guide your child through college applications - do you even hear how arrogant you sound and entertain clients. I've been to many a function and spouses aren't usually invited except during holiday dinners. Just from this thread alone the pompousness shows through. I don't see you keeping your foot in the corporate game and earning more money so you can outsource the childcare to nannies, as the original proposal said. You are a sell out just like the rest of us. I am from the exact same demographic you keep boasting about and I would never think this way about the other moms or women or even judge. You sure must be popular at your private school PTA.

You are the exact archetype and hypocrite - your education gave you a check mark but your income didn't matter in the end we are talking about.

Did you reply to the wrong post? I didn’t say anything you are talking about here.

You have a lower paying job but keep insisting men care about high income when others tell you the income doesn’t matter in general. Education has become more important as it has replaced family status as a status symbol and also because you get access to the high income men in college and in the workplace. To keep riffing on what higher income men want when you are a stereotype of a highly educated underemployed/SAHM, which has existed for decades, is hypocritical.

My husband didn’t marry a SAHM. He earned one by becoming fantastically successful. He married someone who could pay the mortgage in the event he face-planted. And that’s the point. Young men these days understand they need to plan on needing a dual income household, and not needing it is the best case scenario. My brother, who is Gen Z, is the classic example of this. He just stared working in tech sales and his SO is an accountant. He’d love for her to stay home with the kids someday but neither of them are assuming that will work out.

It’s convenient for you to point to the actual outcomes, i.e. the fact that one percenters often look like my family. But that has nothing to do with the dating process, or even the early years of marriage. I almost paid off our house before I quit. My brother’s SO paid some of his tuition. But if they someday look like my family, it won’t be because he didn’t care what money she could bring in. He cares a ton.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of relying on anecdotes oh look another recent study about elite one percenters. I am too lazy to summarize but women’s incomes inconsequential in 85 percent of top one percent elite households. Also high performing women only married high performing men but high performing men married more economically diverse women. Sorry to burst your bubble… again.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0003122418820702

That doesn’t at all contradict the premise of this thread.

It does. High earning income potential is not significant unless you aren’t a high earning man. Then you actually need the income to make up your lifestyle.

This doesn’t narrow down the relevant age range, so it’s not relevant to the question of dating/spouse selection. Many women of rich men downshift, not because they can’t make more money, but because they don’t have to. But at the time of spouse selection, men don’t know if they’re being to be career successes or not, and younger men understand spouse selection is a bet hedge.

Keep arguing to validate yourself and check back in ten years. It’s laughable that you are arguing when you self admittedly downgraded to a hobby job since your DH earns seven figures. It’s definitely not your income that keeps him there, and with each year that potential income diminishes while you are out of that high flying job no matter what degree you got.

You still don’t get it. It’s not about why we are still married. It’s about why he married me, out of all of the options he had, at the time he was dating. And he will tell you bluntly my income potential was a factor. My income was also was, of course, a major factor in our current net worth. If he hadn’t won big in the corporate game, I would have been able to keep our kids in private school on my own. It happens that that’s not how our lives worked out, but I never would have quit if we needed my income.

Good luck with your attitude. Because of your ivy league degree you can guide your child through college applications - do you even hear how arrogant you sound and entertain clients. I've been to many a function and spouses aren't usually invited except during holiday dinners. Just from this thread alone the pompousness shows through. I don't see you keeping your foot in the corporate game and earning more money so you can outsource the childcare to nannies, as the original proposal said. You are a sell out just like the rest of us. I am from the exact same demographic you keep boasting about and I would never think this way about the other moms or women or even judge. You sure must be popular at your private school PTA.

You are the exact archetype and hypocrite - your education gave you a check mark but your income didn't matter in the end we are talking about.

Did you reply to the wrong post? I didn’t say anything you are talking about here.

You have a lower paying job but keep insisting men care about high income when others tell you the income doesn’t matter in general. Education has become more important as it has replaced family status as a status symbol and also because you get access to the high income men in college and in the workplace. To keep riffing on what higher income men want when you are a stereotype of a highly educated underemployed/SAHM, which has existed for decades, is hypocritical.

My husband didn’t marry a SAHM. He earned one by becoming fantastically successful. He married someone who could pay the mortgage in the event he face-planted. And that’s the point. Young men these days understand they need to plan on needing a dual income household, and not needing it is the best case scenario. My brother, who is Gen Z, is the classic example of this. He just stared working in tech sales and his SO is an accountant. He’d love for her to stay home with the kids someday but neither of them are assuming that will work out.

It’s convenient for you to point to the actual outcomes, i.e. the fact that one percenters often look like my family. But that has nothing to do with the dating process, or even the early years of marriage. I almost paid off our house before I quit. My brother’s SO paid some of his tuition. But if they someday look like my family, it won’t be because he didn’t care what money she could bring in. He cares a ton.

Your brother’s SO is making around 70k as a Junior level accountant. Unless she’s in her 30s and made it to middle management which pays $120k. She has near zero change to become a 1 preventer, unless you’re brother makes millions in tech sales and it’s via their household income. If he thinks otherwise, I call him stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of relying on anecdotes oh look another recent study about elite one percenters. I am too lazy to summarize but women’s incomes inconsequential in 85 percent of top one percent elite households. Also high performing women only married high performing men but high performing men married more economically diverse women. Sorry to burst your bubble… again.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0003122418820702

That doesn’t at all contradict the premise of this thread.

It does. High earning income potential is not significant unless you aren’t a high earning man. Then you actually need the income to make up your lifestyle.

This doesn’t narrow down the relevant age range, so it’s not relevant to the question of dating/spouse selection. Many women of rich men downshift, not because they can’t make more money, but because they don’t have to. But at the time of spouse selection, men don’t know if they’re being to be career successes or not, and younger men understand spouse selection is a bet hedge.

Keep arguing to validate yourself and check back in ten years. It’s laughable that you are arguing when you self admittedly downgraded to a hobby job since your DH earns seven figures. It’s definitely not your income that keeps him there, and with each year that potential income diminishes while you are out of that high flying job no matter what degree you got.

You still don’t get it. It’s not about why we are still married. It’s about why he married me, out of all of the options he had, at the time he was dating. And he will tell you bluntly my income potential was a factor. My income was also was, of course, a major factor in our current net worth. If he hadn’t won big in the corporate game, I would have been able to keep our kids in private school on my own. It happens that that’s not how our lives worked out, but I never would have quit if we needed my income.

Good luck with your attitude. Because of your ivy league degree you can guide your child through college applications - do you even hear how arrogant you sound and entertain clients. I've been to many a function and spouses aren't usually invited except during holiday dinners. Just from this thread alone the pompousness shows through. I don't see you keeping your foot in the corporate game and earning more money so you can outsource the childcare to nannies, as the original proposal said. You are a sell out just like the rest of us. I am from the exact same demographic you keep boasting about and I would never think this way about the other moms or women or even judge. You sure must be popular at your private school PTA.

You are the exact archetype and hypocrite - your education gave you a check mark but your income didn't matter in the end we are talking about.

Did you reply to the wrong post? I didn’t say anything you are talking about here.

You have a lower paying job but keep insisting men care about high income when others tell you the income doesn’t matter in general. Education has become more important as it has replaced family status as a status symbol and also because you get access to the high income men in college and in the workplace. To keep riffing on what higher income men want when you are a stereotype of a highly educated underemployed/SAHM, which has existed for decades, is hypocritical.

My husband didn’t marry a SAHM. He earned one by becoming fantastically successful. He married someone who could pay the mortgage in the event he face-planted. And that’s the point. Young men these days understand they need to plan on needing a dual income household, and not needing it is the best case scenario. My brother, who is Gen Z, is the classic example of this. He just stared working in tech sales and his SO is an accountant. He’d love for her to stay home with the kids someday but neither of them are assuming that will work out.

It’s convenient for you to point to the actual outcomes, i.e. the fact that one percenters often look like my family. But that has nothing to do with the dating process, or even the early years of marriage. I almost paid off our house before I quit. My brother’s SO paid some of his tuition. But if they someday look like my family, it won’t be because he didn’t care what money she could bring in. He cares a ton.

Your brother’s SO is making around 70k as a Junior level accountant. Unless she’s in her 30s and made it to middle management which pays $120k. She has near zero change to become a 1 preventer, unless you’re brother makes millions in tech sales and it’s via their household income. If he thinks otherwise, I call him stupid.

One percenter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of relying on anecdotes oh look another recent study about elite one percenters. I am too lazy to summarize but women’s incomes inconsequential in 85 percent of top one percent elite households. Also high performing women only married high performing men but high performing men married more economically diverse women. Sorry to burst your bubble… again.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0003122418820702

That doesn’t at all contradict the premise of this thread.

It does. High earning income potential is not significant unless you aren’t a high earning man. Then you actually need the income to make up your lifestyle.

This doesn’t narrow down the relevant age range, so it’s not relevant to the question of dating/spouse selection. Many women of rich men downshift, not because they can’t make more money, but because they don’t have to. But at the time of spouse selection, men don’t know if they’re being to be career successes or not, and younger men understand spouse selection is a bet hedge.

Keep arguing to validate yourself and check back in ten years. It’s laughable that you are arguing when you self admittedly downgraded to a hobby job since your DH earns seven figures. It’s definitely not your income that keeps him there, and with each year that potential income diminishes while you are out of that high flying job no matter what degree you got.

You still don’t get it. It’s not about why we are still married. It’s about why he married me, out of all of the options he had, at the time he was dating. And he will tell you bluntly my income potential was a factor. My income was also was, of course, a major factor in our current net worth. If he hadn’t won big in the corporate game, I would have been able to keep our kids in private school on my own. It happens that that’s not how our lives worked out, but I never would have quit if we needed my income.

Good luck with your attitude. Because of your ivy league degree you can guide your child through college applications - do you even hear how arrogant you sound and entertain clients. I've been to many a function and spouses aren't usually invited except during holiday dinners. Just from this thread alone the pompousness shows through. I don't see you keeping your foot in the corporate game and earning more money so you can outsource the childcare to nannies, as the original proposal said. You are a sell out just like the rest of us. I am from the exact same demographic you keep boasting about and I would never think this way about the other moms or women or even judge. You sure must be popular at your private school PTA.

You are the exact archetype and hypocrite - your education gave you a check mark but your income didn't matter in the end we are talking about.

Did you reply to the wrong post? I didn’t say anything you are talking about here.

You have a lower paying job but keep insisting men care about high income when others tell you the income doesn’t matter in general. Education has become more important as it has replaced family status as a status symbol and also because you get access to the high income men in college and in the workplace. To keep riffing on what higher income men want when you are a stereotype of a highly educated underemployed/SAHM, which has existed for decades, is hypocritical.

My husband didn’t marry a SAHM. He earned one by becoming fantastically successful. He married someone who could pay the mortgage in the event he face-planted. And that’s the point. Young men these days understand they need to plan on needing a dual income household, and not needing it is the best case scenario. My brother, who is Gen Z, is the classic example of this. He just stared working in tech sales and his SO is an accountant. He’d love for her to stay home with the kids someday but neither of them are assuming that will work out.

It’s convenient for you to point to the actual outcomes, i.e. the fact that one percenters often look like my family. But that has nothing to do with the dating process, or even the early years of marriage. I almost paid off our house before I quit. My brother’s SO paid some of his tuition. But if they someday look like my family, it won’t be because he didn’t care what money she could bring in. He cares a ton.

The actual outcome of these one percenter marriages is what matters- it shows at the end of the day once there is a high income what the spouse brings in doesn’t matter. Now show me some statistics where an already high earning man is more likely to marry a high earning woman with an inflexible job and has to have an Ivy degree or someone who has a degree and gets along with his lifestyle is sufficient. I don’t understand the extremes - it’s not Ivy League or barrister, there are many in between that are good enough.

Anyway, it is laughable that you, a prime example of how high income men don’t care about earning power, keeps pontificating on why they do based on your early experience, which is subjective. And btw it is unlikely if your brother and gf strikes it rich it’s because of her accounting work. They need her to keep working if he never becomes rich, but if he does, oh wait she stays at home. That’s exactly the point, men who don’t earn enough need the woman to earn to maintain their lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

One more thing, if a major factor for your DH marrying you was for your education and your earning potential, I am not sure that’s the flex you think it is. In fact, that is rather sad for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s the ‘20s. Men are absolutely looking for high wage earning women. Women have been seeking out men who earn more for century, it should be no surprise that ultimately men we’re going to do the same.


Welcome to the mid but we’re in the mid 20s, ladies!

Yeah, the same as preferring women from rich families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One more thing, if a major factor for your DH marrying you was for your education and your earning potential, I am not sure that’s the flex you think it is. In fact, that is rather sad for you.

Exactly it’s very transactional attitude to marriage. He married her not because she was his dream woman but because she was good on paper on a combination of things. That happened to me. I was an early career star, super educated, famous family, cute, had many men pursue me. He picked me for all these. I continued working but at a less demanding job after having kids. Guess what ? He left me for a successful career women and told me “ he didn’t need a cook”. He started making millions after a long term family investment on his career, and once established he “upgraded”.

What’s funny I always worked AND pulled of all the household duties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, men used to want a wealthy wife, too. It's just that her money came in the form of a large dowry or inheritance. And it wasn't just wealthy people -- a lot of women were considered desirable marriage partners because their father owned some business that his son-in-law could inherit, or a good piece of farmland or whatever. And women often generated income after marriage: spinning, weaving, and other crafts; laundry; selling the products of animals or plants that she tended, etc.

The model of a man marrying a woman without regard to the financial benefits she brought to the marriage, with the expectation that he would fully support her and she would not financially contribute, is actually more of the anomaly.

I agree. Marriage was mostly a financial act.

[Anonymous]

Shrug. Seems fair to me. What’s good for the goose and all that.

-working mom