New observation: Men now want high earning women

[Anonymous]

I think this is absolutely true but maybe not just for the monetary wealth. DH and I talk a lot about how he wants an intellectual equal in his life and not just a "hot" wife. So perhaps an spouse who is equally educated and ambitious will have same or similar career goals?

I will say that now I out earn my husband by about 2.5x. He would HAPPILY stay home full time and take care of the kids while I continue to work. Times have changed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a much younger sister in her early thirties and she and nearly all of her friends are SAHM’s to men working good professional jobs. Looking at the housing turnover in my neighborhood this seems to be the case there too. So I’m not sure if your theory is accurate.

I think it also depends where you live but ultimately, the high earning lawyer plus high earning cardiologist will do better overall financially and have the most resources of their kids. In the end, I can see this being the ideal set up.

You think a kid being raised by a big law partner and a busy specialist doctor is the ideal set up? Those people are going to need a backup nanny for the main nanny, so we are gonna have to agree to disagree there.

Maybe to you its not ideal but not everyone has the same priorities as you. These kids will have infinite resources and also the ability to spring into careers that they'd like. I have plenty of people in medical school class who had parents with exact these careers and they are doing well, close with their parents, and have also these career ambitions. They also felt that their parents were able to have flexibility in their schedules as high earners. I think the idea that these careers never see their kids is outdated.

This. We are not physicians, but both DH and I have demanding jobs. We are very close with our two teen children. They know that we love our jobs, but we are also there for them. They also know that we cannot attend all of their needs and they will need to take care many things themselves. It has been our mind setting since elementary school. They are very capable and independent kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is absolutely true but maybe not just for the monetary wealth. DH and I talk a lot about how he wants an intellectual equal in his life and not just a "hot" wife. So perhaps an spouse who is equally educated and ambitious will have same or similar career goals?

I will say that now I out earn my husband by about 2.5x. He would HAPPILY stay home full time and take care of the kids while I continue to work. Times have changed.

My wife has consistently out earned me by 2-3x since we started dating. I have to say, it’s been nice to not have to carry the financial burden for our family entirely by myself. If either of us ever decides we don’t like what we’re doing or who we’re working for we have the freedom to walk out. However, I’m also very attracted to my wife (mentally and physically) and wouldn’t trade that for financial gain. I’d rather be the sole earner than Mozart someone who was just a business partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like this thread really demonstrates the difference between secular marriage and marriage with a more religious purpose. When I got married, I made a vow before my
Spouse and before god. Marriage isn’t about incomes and CYA if you end up divorced. Marriage it’s supposed to be a lifelong commitment. As such, both partners need to compromise and trust. I don’t hear any of that in this thread.

I even waited until the wedding night for sex with my spouse. Thought I married a religious man of my own religion. No divorces in our family. Did the whole precana thing in detail. Turned out he was a con and so was his dad. Both bisexual gay men who had sex with other men all over the place. Just like the priests. Also conned money because as you say "money isn't important". So then they justify that they can just take this stuff from you. You know things that you don't really care about. Money. Sex. It doesn't really matter right? Found out another friend is also in this scenario as we speak with another "highly religious" guy who has even made it into religious papers dating her while also sleeping with a slew of men. Being religious does not guarantee you a lifelong commitment. Just show up to any religious divorcecare group to find this out.

There are always exceptions. I'm sorry you got conned but I promise not all men are like that. I know many good men of religious backgrounds.

But the bigger point is that most on this thread don't seem to be into the bigger picture of marriage. Marrying anyonejust because of their income seems superficial to me, sorry.

This is not an only. Just another added criteria. Also I do not find a lot of religious men of moderation anymore. Most are not religious and if they are most are either closeted gay men or political nuts or both. Religion is not attracting the balanced minded these days.

Wow it looks like you are the one with some mental health issues. I know PLENTY of moderate balanced men of faith.

Doubtful. The statistics don't support this for religion or politics but nice dig. Your religion is pretty surface level if an online comment turns you this hateful so quickly. You sound like a religious nut yourself so Im sure they all seem balanced by you. Why does it bother you so much that some men want someone who can provide a bit for the family? Why is that so shallow? Is it also shallow for them to want a beautiful wife? Every other page here talks about some guy in search of the beautiful woman verses the beautiful personality or beautiful ability with children and the elderly. Men are going to college at lesser rates and women are. Men don't seem as interested in some of the less hands on jobs. I'm not surprised at all with the drop in college attendance from men that they would rightfully realize they are not making enough to support a family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like this thread really demonstrates the difference between secular marriage and marriage with a more religious purpose. When I got married, I made a vow before my
Spouse and before god. Marriage isn’t about incomes and CYA if you end up divorced. Marriage it’s supposed to be a lifelong commitment. As such, both partners need to compromise and trust. I don’t hear any of that in this thread.

I even waited until the wedding night for sex with my spouse. Thought I married a religious man of my own religion. No divorces in our family. Did the whole precana thing in detail. Turned out he was a con and so was his dad. Both bisexual gay men who had sex with other men all over the place. Just like the priests. Also conned money because as you say "money isn't important". So then they justify that they can just take this stuff from you. You know things that you don't really care about. Money. Sex. It doesn't really matter right? Found out another friend is also in this scenario as we speak with another "highly religious" guy who has even made it into religious papers dating her while also sleeping with a slew of men. Being religious does not guarantee you a lifelong commitment. Just show up to any religious divorcecare group to find this out.

There are always exceptions. I'm sorry you got conned but I promise not all men are like that. I know many good men of religious backgrounds.

But the bigger point is that most on this thread don't seem to be into the bigger picture of marriage. Marrying anyonejust because of their income seems superficial to me, sorry.

This is not an only. Just another added criteria. Also I do not find a lot of religious men of moderation anymore. Most are not religious and if they are most are either closeted gay men or political nuts or both. Religion is not attracting the balanced minded these days.

Wow it looks like you are the one with some mental health issues. I know PLENTY of moderate balanced men of faith.

Doubtful. The statistics don't support this for religion or politics but nice dig. Your religion is pretty surface level if an online comment turns you this hateful so quickly. You sound like a religious nut yourself so Im sure they all seem balanced by you. Why does it bother you so much that some men want someone who can provide a bit for the family? Why is that so shallow? Is it also shallow for them to want a beautiful wife? Every other page here talks about some guy in search of the beautiful woman verses the beautiful personality or beautiful ability with children and the elderly. Men are going to college at lesser rates and women are. Men don't seem as interested in some of the less hands on jobs. I'm not surprised at all with the drop in college attendance from men that they would rightfully realize they are not making enough to support a family.

Hateful? You’re the one calling people names (religious nut) and leaping to drastic conclusions based one ONE comment online. Is this the same poster that keeps making up weird background stories for other posters and assuming one poster is writing all comments on other boards? It never occurs to you that more than one person may not agree with you? And I’d love to see those “statistics” you speak of. Let’s see some links to your “statistics”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is absolutely true but maybe not just for the monetary wealth. DH and I talk a lot about how he wants an intellectual equal in his life and not just a "hot" wife. So perhaps an spouse who is equally educated and ambitious will have same or similar career goals?

I will say that now I out earn my husband by about 2.5x. He would HAPPILY stay home full time and take care of the kids while I continue to work. Times have changed.

My wife has consistently out earned me by 2-3x since we started dating. I have to say, it’s been nice to not have to carry the financial burden for our family entirely by myself. If either of us ever decides we don’t like what we’re doing or who we’re working for we have the freedom to walk out. However, I’m also very attracted to my wife (mentally and physically) and wouldn’t trade that for financial gain. I’d rather be the sole earner than Mozart someone who was just a business partner.

Mozart?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a much younger sister in her early thirties and she and nearly all of her friends are SAHM’s to men working good professional jobs. Looking at the housing turnover in my neighborhood this seems to be the case there too. So I’m not sure if your theory is accurate.

I think it also depends where you live but ultimately, the high earning lawyer plus high earning cardiologist will do better overall financially and have the most resources of their kids. In the end, I can see this being the ideal set up.

You think a kid being raised by a big law partner and a busy specialist doctor is the ideal set up? Those people are going to need a backup nanny for the main nanny, so we are gonna have to agree to disagree there.

Maybe to you its not ideal but not everyone has the same priorities as you. These kids will have infinite resources and also the ability to spring into careers that they'd like. I have plenty of people in medical school class who had parents with exact these careers and they are doing well, close with their parents, and have also these career ambitions. They also felt that their parents were able to have flexibility in their schedules as high earners. I think the idea that these careers never see their kids is outdated.

This. We are not physicians, but both DH and I have demanding jobs. We are very close with our two teen children. They know that we love our jobs, but we are also there for them. They also know that we cannot attend all of their needs and they will need to take care many things themselves. It has been our mind setting since elementary school. They are very capable and independent kids.

My guess is when they are older they will start to resent how you skipped out on them for your career.

[Anonymous]

Truly successful men don’t care about their partner’s earning potential. My DH has told me he doesn’t care if I ever work again. He’s worked hard to get where he is and is very proud that his children and I are set up for life if anything should ever happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like this thread really demonstrates the difference between secular marriage and marriage with a more religious purpose. When I got married, I made a vow before my
Spouse and before god. Marriage isn’t about incomes and CYA if you end up divorced. Marriage it’s supposed to be a lifelong commitment. As such, both partners need to compromise and trust. I don’t hear any of that in this thread.

I even waited until the wedding night for sex with my spouse. Thought I married a religious man of my own religion. No divorces in our family. Did the whole precana thing in detail. Turned out he was a con and so was his dad. Both bisexual gay men who had sex with other men all over the place. Just like the priests. Also conned money because as you say "money isn't important". So then they justify that they can just take this stuff from you. You know things that you don't really care about. Money. Sex. It doesn't really matter right? Found out another friend is also in this scenario as we speak with another "highly religious" guy who has even made it into religious papers dating her while also sleeping with a slew of men. Being religious does not guarantee you a lifelong commitment. Just show up to any religious divorcecare group to find this out.

There are always exceptions. I'm sorry you got conned but I promise not all men are like that. I know many good men of religious backgrounds.

But the bigger point is that most on this thread don't seem to be into the bigger picture of marriage. Marrying anyonejust because of their income seems superficial to me, sorry.

This is not an only. Just another added criteria. Also I do not find a lot of religious men of moderation anymore. Most are not religious and if they are most are either closeted gay men or political nuts or both. Religion is not attracting the balanced minded these days.

Wow it looks like you are the one with some mental health issues. I know PLENTY of moderate balanced men of faith.

Doubtful. The statistics don't support this for religion or politics but nice dig. Your religion is pretty surface level if an online comment turns you this hateful so quickly. You sound like a religious nut yourself so Im sure they all seem balanced by you. Why does it bother you so much that some men want someone who can provide a bit for the family? Why is that so shallow? Is it also shallow for them to want a beautiful wife? Every other page here talks about some guy in search of the beautiful woman verses the beautiful personality or beautiful ability with children and the elderly. Men are going to college at lesser rates and women are. Men don't seem as interested in some of the less hands on jobs. I'm not surprised at all with the drop in college attendance from men that they would rightfully realize they are not making enough to support a family.

Hateful? You’re the one calling people names (religious nut) and leaping to drastic conclusions based one ONE comment online. Is this the same poster that keeps making up weird background stories for other posters and assuming one poster is writing all comments on other boards? It never occurs to you that more than one person may not agree with you? And I’d love to see those “statistics” you speak of. Let’s see some links to your “statistics”.

No. I don't know what you are talking about. I simply don't see the religious these days having the upper hand on morality these days. I think it's just practical that men look for someone to help offset the costs of an expensive lifestyle that women take enjoyment from.

[Anonymous]

Women who want to live more simply can use their looks which are also superficial to gain a rich man or they can live a more simple life. These aren't new ideas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a much younger sister in her early thirties and she and nearly all of her friends are SAHM’s to men working good professional jobs. Looking at the housing turnover in my neighborhood this seems to be the case there too. So I’m not sure if your theory is accurate.

I think it also depends where you live but ultimately, the high earning lawyer plus high earning cardiologist will do better overall financially and have the most resources of their kids. In the end, I can see this being the ideal set up.

You think a kid being raised by a big law partner and a busy specialist doctor is the ideal set up? Those people are going to need a backup nanny for the main nanny, so we are gonna have to agree to disagree there.

Maybe to you its not ideal but not everyone has the same priorities as you. These kids will have infinite resources and also the ability to spring into careers that they'd like. I have plenty of people in medical school class who had parents with exact these careers and they are doing well, close with their parents, and have also these career ambitions. They also felt that their parents were able to have flexibility in their schedules as high earners. I think the idea that these careers never see their kids is outdated.

This. We are not physicians, but both DH and I have demanding jobs. We are very close with our two teen children. They know that we love our jobs, but we are also there for them. They also know that we cannot attend all of their needs and they will need to take care many things themselves. It has been our mind setting since elementary school. They are very capable and independent kids.

Yeah no. They probably never told you how they felt. I am room parent and I see the happiness in the little kids eyes when their parents come in and the disappointment of the kids who don’t have their parents come in. Don’t be surprised if later in life they blame you for never being there for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a much younger sister in her early thirties and she and nearly all of her friends are SAHM’s to men working good professional jobs. Looking at the housing turnover in my neighborhood this seems to be the case there too. So I’m not sure if your theory is accurate.

I think it also depends where you live but ultimately, the high earning lawyer plus high earning cardiologist will do better overall financially and have the most resources of their kids. In the end, I can see this being the ideal set up.

You think a kid being raised by a big law partner and a busy specialist doctor is the ideal set up? Those people are going to need a backup nanny for the main nanny, so we are gonna have to agree to disagree there.

Maybe to you its not ideal but not everyone has the same priorities as you. These kids will have infinite resources and also the ability to spring into careers that they'd like. I have plenty of people in medical school class who had parents with exact these careers and they are doing well, close with their parents, and have also these career ambitions. They also felt that their parents were able to have flexibility in their schedules as high earners. I think the idea that these careers never see their kids is outdated.

This. We are not physicians, but both DH and I have demanding jobs. We are very close with our two teen children. They know that we love our jobs, but we are also there for them. They also know that we cannot attend all of their needs and they will need to take care many things themselves. It has been our mind setting since elementary school. They are very capable and independent kids.

Yeah no. They probably never told you how they felt. I am room parent and I see the happiness in the little kids eyes when their parents come in and the disappointment of the kids who don’t have their parents come in. Don’t be surprised if later in life they blame you for never being there for them.

This. 100%. All you working parents keep telling yourselves whatever it is you have to get out of your guilt. But the kids know. They k is you picked your careers over them. And they hurt for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women who want to live more simply can use their looks which are also superficial to gain a rich man or they can live a more simple life. These aren't new ideas.

I’m not all that great looking but I give my husband more than just another income. He does indeed appreciate what I do for the family and the other gifts I bring to our family table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Truly successful men don’t care about their partner’s earning potential. My DH has told me he doesn’t care if I ever work again. He’s worked hard to get where he is and is very proud that his children and I are set up for life if anything should ever happen.

so not true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is absolutely true but maybe not just for the monetary wealth. DH and I talk a lot about how he wants an intellectual equal in his life and not just a "hot" wife. So perhaps an spouse who is equally educated and ambitious will have same or similar career goals?

I will say that now I out earn my husband by about 2.5x. He would HAPPILY stay home full time and take care of the kids while I continue to work. Times have changed.

My wife has consistently out earned me by 2-3x since we started dating. I have to say, it’s been nice to not have to carry the financial burden for our family entirely by myself. If either of us ever decides we don’t like what we’re doing or who we’re working for we have the freedom to walk out. However, I’m also very attracted to my wife (mentally and physically) and wouldn’t trade that for financial gain. I’d rather be the sole earner than Mozart someone who was just a business partner.

Mozart?

Dammit Siri!