New observation: Men now want high earning women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a much younger sister in her early thirties and she and nearly all of her friends are SAHM’s to men working good professional jobs. Looking at the housing turnover in my neighborhood this seems to be the case there too. So I’m not sure if your theory is accurate.

I think it also depends where you live but ultimately, the high earning lawyer plus high earning cardiologist will do better overall financially and have the most resources of their kids. In the end, I can see this being the ideal set up.

You think a kid being raised by a big law partner and a busy specialist doctor is the ideal set up? Those people are going to need a backup nanny for the main nanny, so we are gonna have to agree to disagree there.

Yeah in the families that I know with 2 busy high earning parents, the kids aren’t getting a lot of attention.

Can't have two really busy parents. Kids suffer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s the ‘20s. Men are absolutely looking for high wage earning women. Women have been seeking out men who earn more for century, it should be no surprise that ultimately men we’re going to do the same.


Welcome to the mid but we’re in the mid 20s, ladies!

The big question is whether or not men are now going to do half the childcare, cooking, and housework. Based on my observations it seems like marriage has less and less to offer women, but we shall see.

Many men actually do the majority of the house work, and looking after the kids. This is not new.

Also, it just makes sense to get a nanny for $20 an hour to look after your children while you are at work making much much more and a housekeeper to clean your house for 100 bucks a week. Many women use the argument that they have to take care of the home and the kids as an excuse to not work and capitalize on there early capacity, but they could be making much earn more money and just using daycare.

The nanny can never really replicate what a parent does. And I know there are some very good nannies out there.

I can only speak for my situation but I would be terrible with my kids full time. I'm just not good at it. I'm better at my job as a doctor and my daughter is better off at daycare with real educators while I work. My husband does 80% if not more of the household labor since he has more flexibility as a govt lawyer. He has a group of dad friends whose wives are in medicine and they do the same. They recognize that this comes with benefits for future retirement goals etc. On of his friends wife is a surgeon and he is also govt lawyer. No way could he have afforded his million dollar home lifestyle and European trips without her income. Their kids have an amazing nanny, they are loved, and they are fine. I know its shocking but some men would actual prefer to deal with the household things in exchange for a more chill work life (just as some women would).

[Anonymous]

I'm fine with my daughters being working moms. HOWEVER, these men wanting working wives will need to ready to really and truly do 50% of the household and childcare, including mental load.

I'm definitely going to warn my daughters not to agree to work full time AND take the lions share of the other stuff too. EFF THAT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've noticed with group of friends that men now are interested in high income women w/ high earning potential vs being with a traditional idea of a woman who wants to stay home while they earn the money. Many of my physician female friends are in high demand and all engaged or married to other physicians, engineers, lawyers, etc, despite working tons of hours and not being "available". If you think about it, this allows for more resources and a better lifestyle than a single income household. One can easily afford a nanny and housekeeper with these dual income professional salaries while still saving for retirement, college, traveling, paying private school, etc so this trumps the SAHM/breadwinner paradigm financially. It also protects against the potential swings of the economy. I grew up hearing that men wanted a "hot" wife that was attractive and available with no though to their earning potential. I think this has changed...

Are all your friends local or live in HCOL? I have a friend that has a high earning WFH career. She moved back to her husbands small town. She is the outcast because she works. It obviously works for her DH but most of the couples in their circle have a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Men asking women to bring "something" to the relationship other than open legs. I see nothing wrong with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not just that, really “Type A” women tend to stay more fit.

It’s this

In Italy, where being fit and thin has way less to do with socioeconomics, no one cares if you are “high earning”.

Being a hot sahm is the dream/goal.

In anglo countries, due to body weight being linked to socio-economic status, interest in professional women is greater because professional women are less sloppy

As someone who used to live in Italy, I find your bizarre statement here fascinating. It is clear you’ve never stepped foot in the country.

By the way, many Italian women do not want to marry Italian men at all. It’s actually a big problem there. And no, very few Italian women want to be SAHMs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not just that, really “Type A” women tend to stay more fit.

It’s this

In Italy, where being fit and thin has way less to do with socioeconomics, no one cares if you are “high earning”.

Being a hot sahm is the dream/goal.

In anglo countries, due to body weight being linked to socio-economic status, interest in professional women is greater because professional women are less sloppy

Of course a ‘hot sahm’ is the dream/goal in Italy. It’s one of the least egalitarian countries in Europe. You need to look at the Scandinavian countries for gender equality. There are not looking for hot SAHMs over there.

Hot SAHM is not a goal for Italian women. This is some bizarre incel fantasy.

[Anonymous]

I work with a bunch of doctors and they are all married to other doctors who they met in med school. They all have full-time nannies / housekeepers who basically run everything at home. It would be impossible to be a high-earning woman and do all that. This is definitely contributing to economic polarization because we now have homes with two extremely high earners instead of one.
I also work with some single guys who are not high earners (same job as me) and they all want a woman who makes as much or more than they do. My husband wanted that as well until he realized how much more pleasant things are with me at home most of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men asking women to bring "something" to the relationship other than open legs. I see nothing wrong with that.

What a charming way to describe SAHMs. If you think that without a high-paying job, the primary parent brings nothing to the relationship, I can't imagine you'd be a decent partner to any kind of woman (or a decent parent, at that).

[Anonymous]

I work with wealthy men, and yea, that’s exactly what everyone wants now.

Ideal is to find some sort of Influencer, so she’s hot, has money, and doesn’t work a ton of hours.

[Anonymous]

This is not new.

The complications arise when they have children especially any children with special needs. Women still do the bulk of domestic work and are more likely to adjust their work schedules to accommodate needs of children.

Professional Women left the work force in droves during pandemic because it was impossible to do everything - high powered jobs, home schooling, domestic chores.

True equality will come when men do their fair share of child care and domestic chores that allow women to maintain high powered employment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work with wealthy men, and yea, that’s exactly what everyone wants now.

Ideal is to find some sort of Influencer, so she’s hot, has money, and doesn’t work a ton of hours.

Many of the influencers (and people on social media a lot) have mental health issues. Remains to be seen if social influencers will make great partners and parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not just that, really “Type A” women tend to stay more fit.

It’s this

In Italy, where being fit and thin has way less to do with socioeconomics, no one cares if you are “high earning”.

Being a hot sahm is the dream/goal.

In anglo countries, due to body weight being linked to socio-economic status, interest in professional women is greater because professional women are less sloppy

Of course a ‘hot sahm’ is the dream/goal in Italy. It’s one of the least egalitarian countries in Europe. You need to look at the Scandinavian countries for gender equality. There are not looking for hot SAHMs over there.

the working class in northern and central Italy are prettier than working class in Scandinavia.

If you actually lived in Europe, you know that the whole “hot Swedish blonde” thing is not as common as you think and it is far more linked to sócio-economic status (not as much as it is in anglo countries) but the looks distribution in Scandinavia is not as equal with respect to ses level as it is in Italy or Spain.

Norway and Denmark is not really attractive. So the whole “hot scandi” thing is really a subset of Swedes.

Also, if you leave scandi and stay in Northern Europe, NL is considered “gender equal” by lot of foreigners but NL women loathe to be gunners at work. It’s all about part time jobs and relaxing/enjoying life.

Something tells me you haven’t lived in Europe

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not just that, really “Type A” women tend to stay more fit.

It’s this

In Italy, where being fit and thin has way less to do with socioeconomics, no one cares if you are “high earning”.

Being a hot sahm is the dream/goal.

In anglo countries, due to body weight being linked to socio-economic status, interest in professional women is greater because professional women are less sloppy

As someone who used to live in Italy, I find your bizarre statement here fascinating. It is clear you’ve never stepped foot in the country.

By the way, many Italian women do not want to marry Italian men at all. It’s actually a big problem there. And no, very few Italian women want to be SAHMs.

I have property in verbania and live there part time during the year. I have lived in torino, Bergamo, and rome.

Where have you lived?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a much younger sister in her early thirties and she and nearly all of her friends are SAHM’s to men working good professional jobs. Looking at the housing turnover in my neighborhood this seems to be the case there too. So I’m not sure if your theory is accurate.

I think it also depends where you live but ultimately, the high earning lawyer plus high earning cardiologist will do better overall financially and have the most resources of their kids. In the end, I can see this being the ideal set up.

You think a kid being raised by a big law partner and a busy specialist doctor is the ideal set up? Those people are going to need a backup nanny for the main nanny, so we are gonna have to agree to disagree there.

Yeah in the families that I know with 2 busy high earning parents, the kids aren’t getting a lot of attention.

Can't have two really busy parents. Kids suffer.

Define "busy"? If you have two people that prioritize their own needs over their kids, then kids will suffer. This could be a classroom aid and police officer who are too busy with fantasy football or getting their nails done or whatever. But speaking from personal experience and from my peer group, so-called power couples are often the greatest parents. We're in a place in our career where we don't have to miss a single game, concert, conference, anything. Kids go to private schools and have tutors. If they are struggling in any way, we solve the problem. We have dinner together most nights now - it is easy to say 'no' to unnecessary work things when your position is very secure or it's your company. We work hard but have a lot of vacation time and make the most of it.

Most high achieving people, men and women, look for a about an equal, or at least that has been my personal experience and observations.