New observation: Men now want high earning women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of relying on anecdotes oh look another recent study about elite one percenters. I am too lazy to summarize but women’s incomes inconsequential in 85 percent of top one percent elite households. Also high performing women only married high performing men but high performing men married more economically diverse women. Sorry to burst your bubble… again.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0003122418820702

That doesn’t at all contradict the premise of this thread.

It does kind of: men don't seek (on average) wives with breadwinning potential. They are likely to marry down financially, whereby women in most cases marry up. Its the WOMEN not men who make partner selection for marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of relying on anecdotes oh look another recent study about elite one percenters. I am too lazy to summarize but women’s incomes inconsequential in 85 percent of top one percent elite households. Also high performing women only married high performing men but high performing men married more economically diverse women. Sorry to burst your bubble… again.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0003122418820702

That doesn’t at all contradict the premise of this thread.

It does kind of: men don't seek (on average) wives with breadwinning potential. They are likely to marry down financially, whereby women in most cases marry up. Its the WOMEN not men who make partner selection for marriage

This thread isn’t about average men and women. OP noted professionals like physicians, lawyers, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of relying on anecdotes oh look another recent study about elite one percenters. I am too lazy to summarize but women’s incomes inconsequential in 85 percent of top one percent elite households. Also high performing women only married high performing men but high performing men married more economically diverse women. Sorry to burst your bubble… again.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0003122418820702

That doesn’t at all contradict the premise of this thread.

It does. High earning income potential is not significant unless you aren’t a high earning man. Then you actually need the income to make up your lifestyle.

This doesn’t narrow down the relevant age range, so it’s not relevant to the question of dating/spouse selection. Many women of rich men downshift, not because they can’t make more money, but because they don’t have to. But at the time of spouse selection, men don’t know if they’re being to be career successes or not, and younger men understand spouse selection is a bet hedge.

Keep arguing to validate yourself and check back in ten years. It’s laughable that you are arguing when you self admittedly downgraded to a hobby job since your DH earns seven figures. It’s definitely not your income that keeps him there, and with each year that potential income diminishes while you are out of that high flying job no matter what degree you got.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of relying on anecdotes oh look another recent study about elite one percenters. I am too lazy to summarize but women’s incomes inconsequential in 85 percent of top one percent elite households. Also high performing women only married high performing men but high performing men married more economically diverse women. Sorry to burst your bubble… again.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0003122418820702

That doesn’t at all contradict the premise of this thread.

It does kind of: men don't seek (on average) wives with breadwinning potential. They are likely to marry down financially, whereby women in most cases marry up. Its the WOMEN not men who make partner selection for marriage

This thread isn’t about average men and women. OP noted professionals like physicians, lawyers, etc.

They marry women with similar educational level but not women who they expect to make a lot. There is a difference

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of relying on anecdotes oh look another recent study about elite one percenters. I am too lazy to summarize but women’s incomes inconsequential in 85 percent of top one percent elite households. Also high performing women only married high performing men but high performing men married more economically diverse women. Sorry to burst your bubble… again.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0003122418820702

That doesn’t at all contradict the premise of this thread.

It does kind of: men don't seek (on average) wives with breadwinning potential. They are likely to marry down financially, whereby women in most cases marry up. Its the WOMEN not men who make partner selection for marriage

This thread isn’t about average men and women. OP noted professionals like physicians, lawyers, etc.

That study focused on one percent elite households throughout America 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of relying on anecdotes oh look another recent study about elite one percenters. I am too lazy to summarize but women’s incomes inconsequential in 85 percent of top one percent elite households. Also high performing women only married high performing men but high performing men married more economically diverse women. Sorry to burst your bubble… again.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0003122418820702

That doesn’t at all contradict the premise of this thread.

It does. High earning income potential is not significant unless you aren’t a high earning man. Then you actually need the income to make up your lifestyle.

This doesn’t narrow down the relevant age range, so it’s not relevant to the question of dating/spouse selection. Many women of rich men downshift, not because they can’t make more money, but because they don’t have to. But at the time of spouse selection, men don’t know if they’re being to be career successes or not, and younger men understand spouse selection is a bet hedge.

Keep arguing to validate yourself and check back in ten years. It’s laughable that you are arguing when you self admittedly downgraded to a hobby job since your DH earns seven figures. It’s definitely not your income that keeps him there, and with each year that potential income diminishes while you are out of that high flying job no matter what degree you got.

You still don’t get it. It’s not about why we are still married. It’s about why he married me, out of all of the options he had, at the time he was dating. And he will tell you bluntly my income potential was a factor. My income was also was, of course, a major factor in our current net worth. If he hadn’t won big in the corporate game, I would have been able to keep our kids in private school on my own. It happens that that’s not how our lives worked out, but I never would have quit if we needed my income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of relying on anecdotes oh look another recent study about elite one percenters. I am too lazy to summarize but women’s incomes inconsequential in 85 percent of top one percent elite households. Also high performing women only married high performing men but high performing men married more economically diverse women. Sorry to burst your bubble… again.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0003122418820702

That doesn’t at all contradict the premise of this thread.

It does. High earning income potential is not significant unless you aren’t a high earning man. Then you actually need the income to make up your lifestyle.

This doesn’t narrow down the relevant age range, so it’s not relevant to the question of dating/spouse selection. Many women of rich men downshift, not because they can’t make more money, but because they don’t have to. But at the time of spouse selection, men don’t know if they’re being to be career successes or not, and younger men understand spouse selection is a bet hedge.

Keep arguing to validate yourself and check back in ten years. It’s laughable that you are arguing when you self admittedly downgraded to a hobby job since your DH earns seven figures. It’s definitely not your income that keeps him there, and with each year that potential income diminishes while you are out of that high flying job no matter what degree you got.

You still don’t get it. It’s not about why we are still married. It’s about why he married me, out of all of the options he had, at the time he was dating. And he will tell you bluntly my income potential was a factor. My income was also was, of course, a major factor in our current net worth. If he hadn’t won big in the corporate game, I would have been able to keep our kids in private school on my own. It happens that that’s not how our lives worked out, but I never would have quit if we needed my income.

2 private schools is 100K net in DMV. Of course you could so it on your associate income (if in a top law firm) but it would be tight. Nothing like with your partner hubby, right?

You are not statistics, even if you're so special. The cited research clearly confirms that marriage or self employment are the only 2 routes to 1% for women. And in 70% of 1% households women's income is irrelevant for the purpose of them being 1%, it's mostly all men brining financial contribution

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of relying on anecdotes oh look another recent study about elite one percenters. I am too lazy to summarize but women’s incomes inconsequential in 85 percent of top one percent elite households. Also high performing women only married high performing men but high performing men married more economically diverse women. Sorry to burst your bubble… again.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0003122418820702

That doesn’t at all contradict the premise of this thread.

It does. High earning income potential is not significant unless you aren’t a high earning man. Then you actually need the income to make up your lifestyle.

This doesn’t narrow down the relevant age range, so it’s not relevant to the question of dating/spouse selection. Many women of rich men downshift, not because they can’t make more money, but because they don’t have to. But at the time of spouse selection, men don’t know if they’re being to be career successes or not, and younger men understand spouse selection is a bet hedge.

Keep arguing to validate yourself and check back in ten years. It’s laughable that you are arguing when you self admittedly downgraded to a hobby job since your DH earns seven figures. It’s definitely not your income that keeps him there, and with each year that potential income diminishes while you are out of that high flying job no matter what degree you got.

You still don’t get it. It’s not about why we are still married. It’s about why he married me, out of all of the options he had, at the time he was dating. And he will tell you bluntly my income potential was a factor. My income was also was, of course, a major factor in our current net worth. If he hadn’t won big in the corporate game, I would have been able to keep our kids in private school on my own. It happens that that’s not how our lives worked out, but I never would have quit if we needed my income.

Good luck with your attitude. Because of your ivy league degree you can guide your child through college applications - do you even hear how arrogant you sound and entertain clients. I've been to many a function and spouses aren't usually invited except during holiday dinners. Just from this thread alone the pompousness shows through. I don't see you keeping your foot in the corporate game and earning more money so you can outsource the childcare to nannies, as the original proposal said. You are a sell out just like the rest of us. I am from the exact same demographic you keep boasting about and I would never think this way about the other moms or women or even judge. You sure must be popular at your private school PTA.

You are the exact archetype and hypocrite - your education gave you a check mark but your income didn't matter in the end we are talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of relying on anecdotes oh look another recent study about elite one percenters. I am too lazy to summarize but women’s incomes inconsequential in 85 percent of top one percent elite households. Also high performing women only married high performing men but high performing men married more economically diverse women. Sorry to burst your bubble… again.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0003122418820702

That doesn’t at all contradict the premise of this thread.

It does. High earning income potential is not significant unless you aren’t a high earning man. Then you actually need the income to make up your lifestyle.

This doesn’t narrow down the relevant age range, so it’s not relevant to the question of dating/spouse selection. Many women of rich men downshift, not because they can’t make more money, but because they don’t have to. But at the time of spouse selection, men don’t know if they’re being to be career successes or not, and younger men understand spouse selection is a bet hedge.

Keep arguing to validate yourself and check back in ten years. It’s laughable that you are arguing when you self admittedly downgraded to a hobby job since your DH earns seven figures. It’s definitely not your income that keeps him there, and with each year that potential income diminishes while you are out of that high flying job no matter what degree you got.

You still don’t get it. It’s not about why we are still married. It’s about why he married me, out of all of the options he had, at the time he was dating. And he will tell you bluntly my income potential was a factor. My income was also was, of course, a major factor in our current net worth. If he hadn’t won big in the corporate game, I would have been able to keep our kids in private school on my own. It happens that that’s not how our lives worked out, but I never would have quit if we needed my income.

Good luck with your attitude. Because of your ivy league degree you can guide your child through college applications - do you even hear how arrogant you sound and entertain clients. I've been to many a function and spouses aren't usually invited except during holiday dinners. Just from this thread alone the pompousness shows through. I don't see you keeping your foot in the corporate game and earning more money so you can outsource the childcare to nannies, as the original proposal said. You are a sell out just like the rest of us. I am from the exact same demographic you keep boasting about and I would never think this way about the other moms or women or even judge. You sure must be popular at your private school PTA.

You are the exact archetype and hypocrite - your education gave you a check mark but your income didn't matter in the end we are talking about.

This PP with a law partner husband is full of herself. She claims being 1% in income, 10% in looks on another thread, and how non replaceable she is. Everyone is disposable, looks fade, careers fade etc. I am highly educated for my profession (attorney CPA) but I will never claim being able to help my 17 yo son to get into an engineering school. I have no clue about chemistry and physics, and my math skills are all lost. He has professional college prep tutors and a really great private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Given in Texas women are now going to not have jobs I see this as moot.

Same in all red states. Want to work ladies LOL not gonna happen. Then win 2024 already to go bills to make sure women lose jobs to men.

The "family man legislation" headed to all red states I am not wrong.

I have no idea what this post is saying. Could you please rewrite ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s the ‘20s. Men are absolutely looking for high wage earning women. Women have been seeking out men who earn more for century, it should be no surprise that ultimately men we’re going to do the same.


Welcome to the mid but we’re in the mid 20s, ladies!

The big question is whether or not men are now going to do half the childcare, cooking, and housework. Based on my observations it seems like marriage has less and less to offer women, but we shall see.

That is the problem. Men now want it all. They want a high earner for a wife AND they still expect the wife to do all of this other work. This is why I am divorced. I do not think marriage offers any benefit. It offered me zero.

+1 back to those physician moms. Not only are they working less than their physician spouses to care for the children, they are harried off their feet trying to be super mom volunteering in school while working their jobs. i see surgeon mom in school but never surgeon dad. ER mom cuts down to three days a week at her job while ER dad takes on two jobs and travel. so now they are all burdened with work school and childcare. i rather be mansion mom who lunches and plays tennis, life seems easier.

+1 I tell my daughters not to go into medicine. The education costs are astronomical, the average salaries aren't high these days, there's little WFH flexibility, and you're going a million miles per hour during your shift. The two female doctors who I know really well have it rough. Both of them had to drop down to part time just to keep their families afloat. Now they don't earn much. One of them has a husband who does help with the kids, but he's not a high earner. He has family money though so they're doing fine. The other has a physician spouse who concentrates on his career. The wife is a great mother but she handles the house and kid stuff and she's just going, going, going all day every day.

Kind of a sidebar, but I also warn my girls not to go into low-paying fields. The whole spend hundreds of thousands of dollars and 11+ years of education to earn less than they could with an easy WFH job is for the trust fund set. Same with many nonprofit jobs. Those are for the trust fund kids or people with wealthy spouses. Prestigious with low pay isn't for most of us.

Actually don’t be too down on medicine for your daughters. I have noticed that in other high flying lucrative professions such as law or banking or consulting many women quit after children, especially if they have high income husbands. The doctors return however. I have thought about it and I think it’s because medicine can be quite flexible depending on the specialty. Like I see the female doctors working less days. The paying your dues and insane hours happen more in your youth, but once you become an attending it’s easier to control hours. Also asides from continuing education it seems easier for doctors to return to the work force after taking time off vs other professions where you become obsolete if you don’t keep one foot in. The girl just has to be smart about the speciality, there is a reason why most dermatologists are women.

Exactly! Specialty is what matters most in medicine. My brother is a dermatologist and has a great quality of life.

One doesn’t just say “I want derm” and it happens.

It is one of the hardest specialities to match to.

No guaruntee that you land derm during med school for res matching….and then what?

If derm is what makes or breaks your desire To be a doc, it’s not something you should bank on

[Anonymous]

I know a couple who were both Harvard undergrad and none of their kids even went to college. It’s not a guarantee. And my high achieving Ivy educated friends mostly married men who were earners but worse educated. Go figure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of relying on anecdotes oh look another recent study about elite one percenters. I am too lazy to summarize but women’s incomes inconsequential in 85 percent of top one percent elite households. Also high performing women only married high performing men but high performing men married more economically diverse women. Sorry to burst your bubble… again.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0003122418820702

That doesn’t at all contradict the premise of this thread.

It does. High earning income potential is not significant unless you aren’t a high earning man. Then you actually need the income to make up your lifestyle.

This doesn’t narrow down the relevant age range, so it’s not relevant to the question of dating/spouse selection. Many women of rich men downshift, not because they can’t make more money, but because they don’t have to. But at the time of spouse selection, men don’t know if they’re being to be career successes or not, and younger men understand spouse selection is a bet hedge.

Keep arguing to validate yourself and check back in ten years. It’s laughable that you are arguing when you self admittedly downgraded to a hobby job since your DH earns seven figures. It’s definitely not your income that keeps him there, and with each year that potential income diminishes while you are out of that high flying job no matter what degree you got.

You still don’t get it. It’s not about why we are still married. It’s about why he married me, out of all of the options he had, at the time he was dating. And he will tell you bluntly my income potential was a factor. My income was also was, of course, a major factor in our current net worth. If he hadn’t won big in the corporate game, I would have been able to keep our kids in private school on my own. It happens that that’s not how our lives worked out, but I never would have quit if we needed my income.

Good luck with your attitude. Because of your ivy league degree you can guide your child through college applications - do you even hear how arrogant you sound and entertain clients. I've been to many a function and spouses aren't usually invited except during holiday dinners. Just from this thread alone the pompousness shows through. I don't see you keeping your foot in the corporate game and earning more money so you can outsource the childcare to nannies, as the original proposal said. You are a sell out just like the rest of us. I am from the exact same demographic you keep boasting about and I would never think this way about the other moms or women or even judge. You sure must be popular at your private school PTA.

You are the exact archetype and hypocrite - your education gave you a check mark but your income didn't matter in the end we are talking about.

This PP with a law partner husband is full of herself. She claims being 1% in income, 10% in looks on another thread, and how non replaceable she is. Everyone is disposable, looks fade, careers fade etc. I am highly educated for my profession (attorney CPA) but I will never claim being able to help my 17 yo son to get into an engineering school. I have no clue about chemistry and physics, and my math skills are all lost. He has professional college prep tutors and a really great private school.

You’re mixing up me and some other poster. I didn’t post anything about my looks percentage, never said I was irreplaceable, never said I went to an Ivy. My husband is in fact a law firm partner but there are many of us on DCUM—heck, I was one before I quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of relying on anecdotes oh look another recent study about elite one percenters. I am too lazy to summarize but women’s incomes inconsequential in 85 percent of top one percent elite households. Also high performing women only married high performing men but high performing men married more economically diverse women. Sorry to burst your bubble… again.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0003122418820702

That doesn’t at all contradict the premise of this thread.

It does. High earning income potential is not significant unless you aren’t a high earning man. Then you actually need the income to make up your lifestyle.

This doesn’t narrow down the relevant age range, so it’s not relevant to the question of dating/spouse selection. Many women of rich men downshift, not because they can’t make more money, but because they don’t have to. But at the time of spouse selection, men don’t know if they’re being to be career successes or not, and younger men understand spouse selection is a bet hedge.

Keep arguing to validate yourself and check back in ten years. It’s laughable that you are arguing when you self admittedly downgraded to a hobby job since your DH earns seven figures. It’s definitely not your income that keeps him there, and with each year that potential income diminishes while you are out of that high flying job no matter what degree you got.

You still don’t get it. It’s not about why we are still married. It’s about why he married me, out of all of the options he had, at the time he was dating. And he will tell you bluntly my income potential was a factor. My income was also was, of course, a major factor in our current net worth. If he hadn’t won big in the corporate game, I would have been able to keep our kids in private school on my own. It happens that that’s not how our lives worked out, but I never would have quit if we needed my income.

Good luck with your attitude. Because of your ivy league degree you can guide your child through college applications - do you even hear how arrogant you sound and entertain clients. I've been to many a function and spouses aren't usually invited except during holiday dinners. Just from this thread alone the pompousness shows through. I don't see you keeping your foot in the corporate game and earning more money so you can outsource the childcare to nannies, as the original proposal said. You are a sell out just like the rest of us. I am from the exact same demographic you keep boasting about and I would never think this way about the other moms or women or even judge. You sure must be popular at your private school PTA.

You are the exact archetype and hypocrite - your education gave you a check mark but your income didn't matter in the end we are talking about.

Did you reply to the wrong post? I didn’t say anything you are talking about here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a guy who dated college girls in college, waitresses when I was a bartender, beach bunnies when I spent a year surfing, and then law students when I was in law school. Why did I marry the law student? She was hot, smart, and kind. But a poor student at the time, just like me. Her future income potential never entered my mind, it was more like my wild days were over and it was time to settle down.

You are 70 years old, and have been out of the dating world for a long time.

Uh... I'm 41

Huh. You sound like a 70-year-old who hadn’t had physical contact with a woman in thirty years.