Married and infatuated with coworker

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a despicable person. Half your posts are tearing down his wife who you have zero personal relationships with.

You are an old loser. 10-years older than him with your peri-menopause grandma panties in a twist.

I’m sure everyone in the office gossips about you fawning over this younger guy

Life has given me crap so far regarding relationships, I have worked my ass off, trying to be the best person I can be and I look around and I see lazy idiotic women who had their ‘soulmates’ just fall into their laps. I deserve better than what I currently have, sorry, yes it saddens me, I hate seeing happy couples. I will never ever ever have that.

I actually feel for you, OP. I am in the same situation except I took the plunge. Don't trust him to hit the brakes, men are as faithful as their options. He probably will have sex with you.

The thing you have to choose is the least worst option. Is divorce with a chance at passionate love worth dividing your time with the kids?

I give myself permission to have out of town affairs if the perfect opportunity strikes. It helps me realize there is always a chance for me someday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once said as in your shoes. I researched “infatuation” and learned it generally lasts only about 18 months. In my case, it lasted closer to 4 years but eventually it went away. I’m so very glad I never acted on it. We both had kids the same age and it would have destroyed two families. Plus I could see we were both having mid-life issues with marital boredom. The truth is I love my husband and had the presence of mind to let the (super duper strong) sense of infatuation pass and reignite my marriage. Think this through.

4 years of screwing him, but this is what you told your husband.

It’s possible to be infatuated but still have the sanity snd self control to not screw

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a despicable person. Half your posts are tearing down his wife who you have zero personal relationships with.

You are an old loser. 10-years older than him with your peri-menopause grandma panties in a twist.

I’m sure everyone in the office gossips about you fawning over this younger guy

Life has given me crap so far regarding relationships, I have worked my ass off, trying to be the best person I can be and I look around and I see lazy idiotic women who had their ‘soulmates’ just fall into their laps. I deserve better than what I currently have, sorry, yes it saddens me, I hate seeing happy couples. I will never ever ever have that.

How do you know they’re soulmates or happy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a despicable person. Half your posts are tearing down his wife who you have zero personal relationships with.

You are an old loser. 10-years older than him with your peri-menopause grandma panties in a twist.

I’m sure everyone in the office gossips about you fawning over this younger guy

Life has given me crap so far regarding relationships, I have worked my ass off, trying to be the best person I can be and I look around and I see lazy idiotic women who had their ‘soulmates’ just fall into their laps. I deserve better than what I currently have, sorry, yes it saddens me, I hate seeing happy couples. I will never ever ever have that.

How do you know this guy is your soulmate? You know nothing about him. I feel like I’d be more sympathetic if he was your best childhood friend or somethung and you actually knew him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a despicable person. Half your posts are tearing down his wife who you have zero personal relationships with.

You are an old loser. 10-years older than him with your peri-menopause grandma panties in a twist.

I’m sure everyone in the office gossips about you fawning over this younger guy

Life has given me crap so far regarding relationships, I have worked my ass off, trying to be the best person I can be and I look around and I see lazy idiotic women who had their ‘soulmates’ just fall into their laps. I deserve better than what I currently have, sorry, yes it saddens me, I hate seeing happy couples. I will never ever ever have that.

How do you know they’re soulmates or happy?

This. Seriously, OP, you have a skewed view of how happy long married couples are. Because you never had passion, you assume the couples that did still do.

After 15 years, most couples aren't that passionate, especially if they have kids. Marital sex is usually something women do to placate their man.

Why do you think so many people have affairs? It's a search for passion that is usually long gone. A huge percentage of people cheat and a bunch of us like me would do it in a heartbeat if it had no consequences

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a despicable person. Half your posts are tearing down his wife who you have zero personal relationships with.

You are an old loser. 10-years older than him with your peri-menopause grandma panties in a twist.

I’m sure everyone in the office gossips about you fawning over this younger guy

Life has given me crap so far regarding relationships, I have worked my ass off, trying to be the best person I can be and I look around and I see lazy idiotic women who had their ‘soulmates’ just fall into their laps. I deserve better than what I currently have, sorry, yes it saddens me, I hate seeing happy couples. I will never ever ever have that.

How do you know they’re soulmates or happy?

I don’t know everyone’s situation but I know personal friends of mine who are indeed, happily married and feel very connected to their dh. I don’t have that at all. I never did, yes it’s my fault, I should have just remained single forever. I do have amazing kids as a result tho.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a despicable person. Half your posts are tearing down his wife who you have zero personal relationships with.

You are an old loser. 10-years older than him with your peri-menopause grandma panties in a twist.

I’m sure everyone in the office gossips about you fawning over this younger guy

Life has given me crap so far regarding relationships, I have worked my ass off, trying to be the best person I can be and I look around and I see lazy idiotic women who had their ‘soulmates’ just fall into their laps. I deserve better than what I currently have, sorry, yes it saddens me, I hate seeing happy couples. I will never ever ever have that.

How do you know this guy is your soulmate? You know nothing about him. I feel like I’d be more sympathetic if he was your best childhood friend or somethung and you actually knew him.

I don’t know. I just know that I will never forget the first time I met him, it sounds melodramatic but it’s true. I haven’t felt such chemistry in so long, at least 20 years, if ever. I will never forget that. I admit I don’t know him well but I sense he feels similarly. I don’t work with him but we live in the same area and after we met he suddenly started walking by more frequently and chatting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a despicable person. Half your posts are tearing down his wife who you have zero personal relationships with.

You are an old loser. 10-years older than him with your peri-menopause grandma panties in a twist.

I’m sure everyone in the office gossips about you fawning over this younger guy

Life has given me crap so far regarding relationships, I have worked my ass off, trying to be the best person I can be and I look around and I see lazy idiotic women who had their ‘soulmates’ just fall into their laps. I deserve better than what I currently have, sorry, yes it saddens me, I hate seeing happy couples. I will never ever ever have that.

How do you know they’re soulmates or happy?

I don’t know everyone’s situation but I know personal friends of mine who are indeed, happily married and feel very connected to their dh. I don’t have that at all. I never did, yes it’s my fault, I should have just remained single forever. I do have amazing kids as a result tho.

Feeling connected is not the same thing as either passion or infatuation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a despicable person. Half your posts are tearing down his wife who you have zero personal relationships with.

You are an old loser. 10-years older than him with your peri-menopause grandma panties in a twist.

I’m sure everyone in the office gossips about you fawning over this younger guy

Life has given me crap so far regarding relationships, I have worked my ass off, trying to be the best person I can be and I look around and I see lazy idiotic women who had their ‘soulmates’ just fall into their laps. I deserve better than what I currently have, sorry, yes it saddens me, I hate seeing happy couples. I will never ever ever have that.

How do you know this guy is your soulmate? You know nothing about him. I feel like I’d be more sympathetic if he was your best childhood friend or somethung and you actually knew him.

I don’t know. I just know that I will never forget the first time I met him, it sounds melodramatic but it’s true. I haven’t felt such chemistry in so long, at least 20 years, if ever. I will never forget that. I admit I don’t know him well but I sense he feels similarly. I don’t work with him but we live in the same area and after we met he suddenly started walking by more frequently and chatting.

Classic limerence, he’s not that into you and you don’t know each other. You are addicted to how he makes you feel but you know nothing at all about him. Get therapy or join a limerence support community like the one on Reddit .

[Anonymous]

Pp here I know it sounds silly but there is a lot of good info on limerence,going no contact, enjoying your present life, etc online

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a despicable person. Half your posts are tearing down his wife who you have zero personal relationships with.

You are an old loser. 10-years older than him with your peri-menopause grandma panties in a twist.

I’m sure everyone in the office gossips about you fawning over this younger guy

Life has given me crap so far regarding relationships, I have worked my ass off, trying to be the best person I can be and I look around and I see lazy idiotic women who had their ‘soulmates’ just fall into their laps. I deserve better than what I currently have, sorry, yes it saddens me, I hate seeing happy couples. I will never ever ever have that.

How do you know this guy is your soulmate? You know nothing about him. I feel like I’d be more sympathetic if he was your best childhood friend or somethung and you actually knew him.

I don’t know. I just know that I will never forget the first time I met him, it sounds melodramatic but it’s true. I haven’t felt such chemistry in so long, at least 20 years, if ever. I will never forget that. I admit I don’t know him well but I sense he feels similarly. I don’t work with him but we live in the same area and after we met he suddenly started walking by more frequently and chatting.

Classic limerence, he’s not that into you and you don’t know each other. You are addicted to how he makes you feel but you know nothing at all about him. Get therapy or join a limerence support community like the one on Reddit .

So everyone who has chemistry with someone is in limerance? How do you differentiate between lust potentially love and limerance? Couldn’t limerance grow into love?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp here I know it sounds silly but there is a lot of good info on limerence,going no contact, enjoying your present life, etc online

Being in limerance makes me feel even worse, so the fact that I feel chemistry and passion toward someone automatically means it can’t ever be love and it’s always unrequited? I don’t even know what romantic love is then. I have no freaking idea how love towards a romantic partner should feel. I thought being attracted to someone could potentially lead to reciprocal love eventually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a despicable person. Half your posts are tearing down his wife who you have zero personal relationships with.

You are an old loser. 10-years older than him with your peri-menopause grandma panties in a twist.

I’m sure everyone in the office gossips about you fawning over this younger guy

Life has given me crap so far regarding relationships, I have worked my ass off, trying to be the best person I can be and I look around and I see lazy idiotic women who had their ‘soulmates’ just fall into their laps. I deserve better than what I currently have, sorry, yes it saddens me, I hate seeing happy couples. I will never ever ever have that.

How do you know this guy is your soulmate? You know nothing about him. I feel like I’d be more sympathetic if he was your best childhood friend or somethung and you actually knew him.

I don’t know. I just know that I will never forget the first time I met him, it sounds melodramatic but it’s true. I haven’t felt such chemistry in so long, at least 20 years, if ever. I will never forget that. I admit I don’t know him well but I sense he feels similarly. I don’t work with him but we live in the same area and after we met he suddenly started walking by more frequently and chatting.

Classic limerence, he’s not that into you and you don’t know each other. You are addicted to how he makes you feel but you know nothing at all about him. Get therapy or join a limerence support community like the one on Reddit .

So everyone who has chemistry with someone is in limerance? How do you differentiate between lust potentially love and limerance? Couldn’t limerance grow into love?

This is why you need to educate yourself on limerence and seek help. You know nothing about him and you even admit he seems stoned, you hate his wife without knowing anything , the complete fantasy is disrupting your life , etc. It’s not healthy and that’s not love. Like someone said upthread you sound like a completely unhinged mess of a person and it likely impacts your daily life. That isn’t love. It’s something you need to fix about yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a despicable person. Half your posts are tearing down his wife who you have zero personal relationships with.

You are an old loser. 10-years older than him with your peri-menopause grandma panties in a twist.

I’m sure everyone in the office gossips about you fawning over this younger guy

Life has given me crap so far regarding relationships, I have worked my ass off, trying to be the best person I can be and I look around and I see lazy idiotic women who had their ‘soulmates’ just fall into their laps. I deserve better than what I currently have, sorry, yes it saddens me, I hate seeing happy couples. I will never ever ever have that.

How do you know this guy is your soulmate? You know nothing about him. I feel like I’d be more sympathetic if he was your best childhood friend or somethung and you actually knew him.

I don’t know. I just know that I will never forget the first time I met him, it sounds melodramatic but it’s true. I haven’t felt such chemistry in so long, at least 20 years, if ever. I will never forget that. I admit I don’t know him well but I sense he feels similarly. I don’t work with him but we live in the same area and after we met he suddenly started walking by more frequently and chatting.

Classic limerence, he’s not that into you and you don’t know each other. You are addicted to how he makes you feel but you know nothing at all about him. Get therapy or join a limerence support community like the one on Reddit .

So everyone who has chemistry with someone is in limerance? How do you differentiate between lust potentially love and limerance? Couldn’t limerance grow into love?

This is why you need to educate yourself on limerence and seek help. You know nothing about him and you even admit he seems stoned, you hate his wife without knowing anything , the complete fantasy is disrupting your life , etc. It’s not healthy and that’s not love. Like someone said upthread you sound like a completely unhinged mess of a person and it likely impacts your daily life. That isn’t love. It’s something you need to fix about yourself.

Then, I don’t know how to give or receive love from a significant other, I feel indifferent toward my dh, limerance feels better than indifference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a despicable person. Half your posts are tearing down his wife who you have zero personal relationships with.

You are an old loser. 10-years older than him with your peri-menopause grandma panties in a twist.

I’m sure everyone in the office gossips about you fawning over this younger guy

Life has given me crap so far regarding relationships, I have worked my ass off, trying to be the best person I can be and I look around and I see lazy idiotic women who had their ‘soulmates’ just fall into their laps. I deserve better than what I currently have, sorry, yes it saddens me, I hate seeing happy couples. I will never ever ever have that.

How do you know this guy is your soulmate? You know nothing about him. I feel like I’d be more sympathetic if he was your best childhood friend or somethung and you actually knew him.

I don’t know. I just know that I will never forget the first time I met him, it sounds melodramatic but it’s true. I haven’t felt such chemistry in so long, at least 20 years, if ever. I will never forget that. I admit I don’t know him well but I sense he feels similarly. I don’t work with him but we live in the same area and after we met he suddenly started walking by more frequently and chatting.

Classic limerence, he’s not that into you and you don’t know each other. You are addicted to how he makes you feel but you know nothing at all about him. Get therapy or join a limerence support community like the one on Reddit .

So everyone who has chemistry with someone is in limerance? How do you differentiate between lust potentially love and limerance? Couldn’t limerance grow into love?

This is why you need to educate yourself on limerence and seek help. You know nothing about him and you even admit he seems stoned, you hate his wife without knowing anything , the complete fantasy is disrupting your life , etc. It’s not healthy and that’s not love. Like someone said upthread you sound like a completely unhinged mess of a person and it likely impacts your daily life. That isn’t love. It’s something you need to fix about yourself.

Then, I don’t know how to give or receive love from a significant other, I feel indifferent toward my dh, limerance feels better than indifference.

Limerence is kind of like a drug addiction, it’s a way for your brain to comfort itself and avoid thinking about difficult topics, like instead of thinking about how your marriage is not working out, you fantasize about this married guy. Unfortunately, this is not healthy, and you’re not going to feel good about it for long.