Redshirting my son for pre-k - May birthday

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

+1

It doesn’t happen in real life. One of the most well-liked, nicest kids in my DCs elementary class was a Feb. kid who was a year older. That kid could not have been more well-liked if he tried. And he was the oldest by literally months.

You don't see an issue with having 5 year olds in a class with 7 year olds?

Nope. Look at Montessori programs where there are blended age groups for classes. It’s fine and in fact there are even tangible benefits (older children serving as peer mentors and younger kids learning from them).

Don’t some of you have kids with older siblings? Do they spend time together or do you shelter the younger child from their older sibling too? Seriously, what is the big deal with kids of different ages being in the same class? What a strange issue to fixate on.

Kids should learn how to be with peers of different ages and abilities. That’s part of life.

Maybe your 7 year old should learn to be in class with kids his own age? My 13 year old is with a 15 year old in 8th grade. It is ludicrous. Trust me, my son is not learning beneficial things from his older classmate.

I thought redshirted kids were so unpopular and reviled. Weird that your darling seems so drawn to this one classmate.

Are any others 15 years old around 13 years old?

My kid is an athlete and on sports team with kids older and younger than them. 13-15 year old isn’t a weird range to spend time together and hang out.

A 13 year old and a 15 year old have different academic expectations. If not, then there would be no need for putting kids in specific grades. Many sports teams do follow age. Nice try.

So, does you 8th grade middle schooler not take classes by different levels and abilities? Is everyone in their grade in all the same classes?

Still don’t understand why it’s a big deal for your 13 year old to be around an older child.

And yes, lots of sports practice together regardless of age. Take swim team, for example. My other child is a gymnast and they compete by level so are with kids of all different ages. I would never think to make an issue and fuss over it.

Yes, one does in math. Swim team competes by ages, not grades. And, yes it’s an issue that my middle schooleri is with much older kids.

NVSL has a swim bracket for 15-18. Are you going to complain when your 15 year old has to be around 18 year olds and compete against them?

What are you going to do when your can’t redshirt your kid in that situation?

My child is not red-shirted. They are older because of their birthday and just missing the cutoff.

DP. My kids aren’t redshirted either and do just fine in mixed age groups. I genuinely do not understand how weird the PPs are about never wanting their kids to interact with a child with a birthday more than 365 days apart from their child’s. It has to be some sad combination of rigidly, lack of resiliency, and helicoptering, but I don’t get it.

The helicoptering would be from the redshirted parents. Otherwise, they would not redshirt. I cannot understand them putting their child with someone born within 365 days of their child.

Have you not heard about developmental delays? Social/emotional issues? If you have not heard about them, and how they come into play with the decision to redshirt, do not complain you are not understanding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There will be a lot of “red-shirted” kids as a result of the pandemic. Many delayed starting kindergarten last year so a bunch of six year olds headed off to kinder this year. Our child switched schools to one that uses a different birthday cut off (July 1st) so ended up repeating a year (we moved to private to escape public virtual). It is what it is and people should stop making a big fuss about how old kids are, especially parents of other students. It just isn’t that big a deal.

You are far too rational for DCUMs hissing anti-redshirters. But of course you are right.

What an outstanding argument.

You can’t argue with DCUM anti redshirters. They are too irrational. You just have to pat them on the head and let them whine.

They almost seem scared of their child being around a kid 12-18 months older. Super bizarre.

You seem scared to have your child around children their own age. Even more bizarre.

Nope! They get along great with a wide range of kids who are older, younger, and their own age. And I truly think most kids are like this and can handle a mixed age group. It’s the adults that have issues with it.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:As a pediatric psychologist told me once, it should only be done if there is a serious developmental issue or a serious illness. It also does not have any benefits beyond first few years.
From the classrooms I’ve been in, this holds true.

+1

As our pediatric psychologist told me, it never hurts to red-shirt a boy.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

+1

It doesn’t happen in real life. One of the most well-liked, nicest kids in my DCs elementary class was a Feb. kid who was a year older. That kid could not have been more well-liked if he tried. And he was the oldest by literally months.

You don't see an issue with having 5 year olds in a class with 7 year olds?

Nope. Look at Montessori programs where there are blended age groups for classes. It’s fine and in fact there are even tangible benefits (older children serving as peer mentors and younger kids learning from them).

Don’t some of you have kids with older siblings? Do they spend time together or do you shelter the younger child from their older sibling too? Seriously, what is the big deal with kids of different ages being in the same class? What a strange issue to fixate on.

Kids should learn how to be with peers of different ages and abilities. That’s part of life.

Maybe your 7 year old should learn to be in class with kids his own age? My 13 year old is with a 15 year old in 8th grade. It is ludicrous. Trust me, my son is not learning beneficial things from his older classmate.

I thought redshirted kids were so unpopular and reviled. Weird that your darling seems so drawn to this one classmate.

Are any others 15 years old around 13 years old?

My kid is an athlete and on sports team with kids older and younger than them. 13-15 year old isn’t a weird range to spend time together and hang out.

A 13 year old and a 15 year old have different academic expectations. If not, then there would be no need for putting kids in specific grades. Many sports teams do follow age. Nice try.

So, does you 8th grade middle schooler not take classes by different levels and abilities? Is everyone in their grade in all the same classes?

Still don’t understand why it’s a big deal for your 13 year old to be around an older child.

And yes, lots of sports practice together regardless of age. Take swim team, for example. My other child is a gymnast and they compete by level so are with kids of all different ages. I would never think to make an issue and fuss over it.

Yes, one does in math. Swim team competes by ages, not grades. And, yes it’s an issue that my middle schooleri is with much older kids.

NVSL has a swim bracket for 15-18. Are you going to complain when your 15 year old has to be around 18 year olds and compete against them?

What are you going to do when your can’t redshirt your kid in that situation?

My child is not red-shirted. They are older because of their birthday and just missing the cutoff.

DP. My kids aren’t redshirted either and do just fine in mixed age groups. I genuinely do not understand how weird the PPs are about never wanting their kids to interact with a child with a birthday more than 365 days apart from their child’s. It has to be some sad combination of rigidly, lack of resiliency, and helicoptering, but I don’t get it.

The helicoptering would be from the redshirted parents. Otherwise, they would not redshirt. I cannot understand them putting their child with someone born within 365 days of their child.

Have you not heard about developmental delays? Social/emotional issues? If you have not heard about them, and how they come into play with the decision to redshirt, do not complain you are not understanding.

You are naive. It is incredible disingenuous to say that all these parents redshirting are doing it for the reasons you say. Try not to be stupid again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There will be a lot of “red-shirted” kids as a result of the pandemic. Many delayed starting kindergarten last year so a bunch of six year olds headed off to kinder this year. Our child switched schools to one that uses a different birthday cut off (July 1st) so ended up repeating a year (we moved to private to escape public virtual). It is what it is and people should stop making a big fuss about how old kids are, especially parents of other students. It just isn’t that big a deal.

You are far too rational for DCUMs hissing anti-redshirters. But of course you are right.

What an outstanding argument.

You can’t argue with DCUM anti redshirters. They are too irrational. You just have to pat them on the head and let them whine.

Yes, so irrational that they send their children to school on time. You have to pat your child on the head and whine that you have a low level child that they cannot handle the grade they are supposed to be in.

I am one of the PPs who did not redshirt. I just don’t understand the copious amounts of irrational whining from DCUM anti-redshirters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a pediatric psychologist told me once, it should only be done if there is a serious developmental issue or a serious illness. It also does not have any benefits beyond first few years.
From the classrooms I’ve been in, this holds true.

+1

As our pediatric psychologist told me, it never hurts to red-shirt a boy.

As one told me, do not redshirt and he added that it’s all awash by 3rd grade. He said only in cases of serious developmental delays or serious illness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There will be a lot of “red-shirted” kids as a result of the pandemic. Many delayed starting kindergarten last year so a bunch of six year olds headed off to kinder this year. Our child switched schools to one that uses a different birthday cut off (July 1st) so ended up repeating a year (we moved to private to escape public virtual). It is what it is and people should stop making a big fuss about how old kids are, especially parents of other students. It just isn’t that big a deal.

You are far too rational for DCUMs hissing anti-redshirters. But of course you are right.

What an outstanding argument.

You can’t argue with DCUM anti redshirters. They are too irrational. You just have to pat them on the head and let them whine.

Yes, so irrational that they send their children to school on time. You have to pat your child on the head and whine that you have a low level child that they cannot handle the grade they are supposed to be in.

I am one of the PPs who did not redshirt. I just don’t understand the copious amounts of irrational whining from DCUM anti-redshirters.

The copious amount of redshirting is the reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a pediatric psychologist told me once, it should only be done if there is a serious developmental issue or a serious illness. It also does not have any benefits beyond first few years.
From the classrooms I’ve been in, this holds true.

+1

As our pediatric psychologist told me, it never hurts to red-shirt a boy.

I think you are trolling the previous poster, but I've heard this from two different 1st grade teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There will be a lot of “red-shirted” kids as a result of the pandemic. Many delayed starting kindergarten last year so a bunch of six year olds headed off to kinder this year. Our child switched schools to one that uses a different birthday cut off (July 1st) so ended up repeating a year (we moved to private to escape public virtual). It is what it is and people should stop making a big fuss about how old kids are, especially parents of other students. It just isn’t that big a deal.

You are far too rational for DCUMs hissing anti-redshirters. But of course you are right.

What an outstanding argument.

You can’t argue with DCUM anti redshirters. They are too irrational. You just have to pat them on the head and let them whine.

Yes, so irrational that they send their children to school on time. You have to pat your child on the head and whine that you have a low level child that they cannot handle the grade they are supposed to be in.

I am one of the PPs who did not redshirt. I just don’t understand the copious amounts of irrational whining from DCUM anti-redshirters.

I don’t know, maybe it’s the irrational redshirting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a pediatric psychologist told me once, it should only be done if there is a serious developmental issue or a serious illness. It also does not have any benefits beyond first few years.
From the classrooms I’ve been in, this holds true.

+1

As our pediatric psychologist told me, it never hurts to red-shirt a boy.

I think you are trolling the previous poster, but I've heard this from two different 1st grade teachers.

1st grade teachers are not neuropsychologist. I taught 1st and 2nd and absolutely without a development delay should this be done. It narrows in as they age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a pediatric psychologist told me once, it should only be done if there is a serious developmental issue or a serious illness. It also does not have any benefits beyond first few years.
From the classrooms I’ve been in, this holds true.

+1

As our pediatric psychologist told me, it never hurts to red-shirt a boy.

I think you are trolling the previous poster, but I've heard this from two different 1st grade teachers.

I teach that grade and some teachers don’t want to be bothered. It’s just a reactive answer to get some kids to be older for teachers to have it easier. It’s totally appropriate for kids that age to be immature.

[Anonymous]

OMG OP. People will make fun of you and your child for redshirting a May birthday. They will wonder why you did that - does he have a disability, ADHD, does he hit/fight with other kids? Parents will keep their kids away from him because they think there is something wrong with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is private school? You don’t have much choice. If you don’t want to redshirt your option is another private school or public.

There are a lot of anti-redshirters on DCUM who really don’t seem to understand how private school admissions work or even the difference between public and private so you have to take DCUM with a grain of salt.

If your appropriately-aged child doesn't get into private Kindergarten (and you applied, as OP clearly stated, to multiple schools), then it is pretty obvious that there is something wrong with him or with the parents.

[Anonymous]

Given how overly academic early elementary years are now compared to what they used to be, I’ve become more supportive of redshirting. Many kids would benefit from an extra year of play-based school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: OMG OP. People will make fun of you and your child for redshirting a May birthday. They will wonder why you did that - does he have a disability, ADHD, does he hit/fight with other kids? Parents will keep their kids away from him because they think there is something wrong with him.

I hope this is sarcasm but on this thread who can tell. They will only do this if they are unkind and/or busybodies. If they are those things they’re going to find something to mock, sadly, whether it’s redshirting or something else. These things do not happen to the redshirted kids at my daughter’s school (and no, she’s not one of them, so it’s not as if I’m a reshirter in denial.)