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Redshirting my son for pre-k - May birthday
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Anonymous
My child is not red-shirted. They are older because of their birthday and just missing the cutoff. |
Anonymous
DP. You have to keep in mind that PPs kids are being raised by her. Therefore of course they struggle socially. They have no role model from whom to learn basic social skills. After years of watching redshirting debates, I’ve become convinced that the reason some posters are so unbalanced about redshirted kids is that that have no social skills and therefore can’t teach their kids basic social skills. They genuinely can’t understand kids (like mine) who have no issue whatsoever with redshirted kids, because it is not within their ability to understand that level of social interaction. I had no real opinion about redshirting before I started reading DCUM but I know for sure that I never want to be grouped with DCUMs anti-redshirt posters. Watching that group and their absolute inability to teach their kids any social skills like resiliency or empathy has definitely made me much more pro-redshirting. |
Anonymous
No, I’m saying kids will inevitably end up being around older kids, regardless of redshirting. There are classes with kids in different grades in high school, but some of you seem to think kids remain in these magic bubbles with only students their own age. That’s not reality. Classes, sports, after school clubs, etc will be a mix of ages. You seem to have some weird issue with that. |
Anonymous
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We redshirted our April kid who was a 7-week early premie and on the smaller side. We started him at the right age at a private kindergarten to determine if he was ready for 1st grade. Teachers advised we hold him back after private Kindergarten, and so we switched to public kindergarten the next year.
Now as a freshman, he is still one of the smallest in the grade but plays multiple travel sports - whether based on age or grade. He appears to be a leader among his friends. As our son grew and excelled in school (always 99% on standardized - and that is with age peers, not just grade peers) we supplemented the public school curriculum with math, reading, and writing tutors well in excess of the grade curriculum above him. We didn't feel public school at lower grades was challenging him and he was getting a bit bored. But at the time we made the decision, he had behavior issues. Do what you think is best, since you may never know how it will work out. |
Anonymous
You can’t argue with DCUM anti redshirters. They are too irrational. You just have to pat them on the head and let them whine. |
Anonymous
They almost seem scared of their child being around a kid 12-18 months older. Super bizarre. |
Anonymous
Rather than suggesting to redshirt, they should ask the parents to get their child evaluated. In our case, the preschool recommended us to get our child evaluated when the child was still 3. The preschool then learned about the delays, and the child received some support while at preschool. But when it came to kindergarten time, the school did not recommend that my child was redshirted. The school's policy is to never recommend a child for redshirting!!! That kind of policy is absurd. The school does not want to be seen as money-grabbing, so never suggests redshirting, that is the explanation I heard from another parent. We did our own research, talked with the child's therapist, doctor, etc. We came to the conclusion to redshirt our July born. I think we made a good decision for our child. But redshirting the child was so hard because the preschool insisted that we don't do it. So preschools just refusing to recommend redshirting to everyone (including summer-borns with delays) are as absurd as the preschools who recommend to redshirt normal spring-born kids. Parents need good support, tailored to specific needs of their kids. One size fits all recommendations hurt kids and families. |
Anonymous
If parents and kids have no issues whatsoever with any age group, why do you need a different age group, why not just follow guidance? |
Anonymous
You seem scared to have your child around children their own age. Even more bizarre. |
Anonymous
DP. My kids aren’t redshirted either and do just fine in mixed age groups. I genuinely do not understand how weird the PPs are about never wanting their kids to interact with a child with a birthday more than 365 days apart from their child’s. It has to be some sad combination of rigidly, lack of resiliency, and helicoptering, but I don’t get it. |
Anonymous
Yes, so irrational that they send their children to school on time. You have to pat your child on the head and whine that you have a low level child that they cannot handle the grade they are supposed to be in. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
The helicoptering would be from the redshirted parents. Otherwise, they would not redshirt. I cannot understand them putting their child with someone born within 365 days of their child. |
Anonymous
I didn’t redshirt. I just don’t care if others do. I think for some kids it is helpful and I trust their parents, teachers, school administrators, and pediatricians to make that call, as I am certain they know what is better for their kids than I do. I also feel this way about parents who want to start their kids younger than usual. My kids have no issues with being in classrooms or social settings with a mixed age group. I would worry if they lacked that capacity as it certainly doesn’t set them up well for life. |
Anonymous
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I’m really puzzled by some people’s concern about having a wider age spread in the class. My daughter’s school has an extra grade between kindergarten and first grade. About a quarter of the kids go to this grade after kindergarten and before first grade based on teacher recommendation. The reasons are varied, but all amount to a child who needs and extra year before first grade. It’s not a remedial class in any way, as it also often has a few kids who are more advanced coming out of preK and go into this class instead of kindergarten, as it tends to be more academic. It creates a wider age spread within each grade going forward - usually about 19 months, sometimes more if there are also students the school recommended start early. They’ve been doing it for decades and the wider age spread just isn’t an issue socially or academically, even up through high school.
My child is also in a solo sport where practice and coaching is based on ability rather than age, and her practice tonight will include kids ranging from nine (her) to 16, all at the same level so all practicing together. Socially she clicks with kids in her sport who range from her age to 13 or so - after that they don’t tend to be friends who hang out, but are kind, enthusiastic, and supportive of each other. The key here is that mixed ages often work well if you don’t go in with the assumption that they won’t. And I’ve heard people blame behavior problems both on the fact that a child is the oldest and that they’re the youngest; the reality is probably they it has little to do with relative age and much more do to do personality and parenting. The kid who is a redshirted behavior problem may well have been a problem is he were standard age or young for the grade. It’s easy to blame the highly visible - age - but often the result of other things (and yes, there’s research backing this up.) |