I can't be friends with moms of 3+ kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am dying at $60/hr for a babysitter. Only on the DCUM nanny board does anyone make that much for watching kids.

What's the rate for watching 3-4 kids for an hour?

About $3 more than watching one kid for an hour.
You have never babysat or known anyone who has?

I paid $15 for one kid. I would not watch four kids for $20 though.

[Anonymous]

That seems fair, OP.
I have four kids. I had them because I knew they would be good people, and they are. They were worth a few years of changing diapers. I don’t think I could have been friends with anyone with one 12 year old when my kids were really little. It was a really hectic, busy time of life. I did have some friends that I rowed with who were single or childfree, and some couple friends that DH and I went out with on date nights who had 0-1 children, but anyone who came over to hang out while I was taking care of the kids solo also had their own little ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t read most of the responses but this is just so opposite of my experience. I have 2 kids but all of my closest friends have 3 or 4. They all work full time in interesting (to me) jobs across various sectors. Their kids are not crazy - when we get together with the kid’s they generally entertain themselves playing soccer or whatever while we chat. Babies hang out on laps. We try to stay outdoors to avoid an indoor mess. If we want a catch up brunch the husbands chill with their kids at home so no babysitting needed.

Maybe wait for kids to get a little older?

I just met a friend outdoors for lunch. She has 4 kids. She came with 3 kids because couldn’t leave them at home. The whole two hours she kept checking on her two year old who kept walking off and bringing him back, she kept consoling her baby who kept fussing. Our conversation was constantly interrupted “Where is Larlo? I just saw him near the trash can. Larlo, can you spit it out of your mouth? Lrla is crying. Larla is hungry. Larlo, don’t drink it like this you’re spilling it on yourself.” And so on.

We couldn’t really hold a conversation.

Different ages and stages, that's the issue, not the number of children.

Whose age? Mom's age? It has nothing to do with the situation. The stage of her life does. This stage of being unavailable may last 15-20 years if she has 3-4 kids and no one is going to wait this long. That's why SAHMs usually hang out with other SAHMs with the same aged kids. God forbid they have different age kids, then they can't be friends.

Age of kids, age of mom. If mom is early 30s, she may not want to hang out with 50s mom who has a same age tween.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am dying at $60/hr for a babysitter. Only on the DCUM nanny board does anyone make that much for watching kids.

What's the rate for watching 3-4 kids for an hour?

$15 for a teenager, $30 tops if there are special needs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 4 kids. You don't sound like someone I would want to be friends with.

My youngest is 4, my eldest is 12. My eldest babysits my younger kids during the daytime very often.

See? Poor kids forced to parent siblings because of their parents' irresponsible decisions.

Agree. Your kids and your 12 yr old should never be expected to babysit. This is child abuse in my opinion. I would report you to CPS and police.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 4 kids. You don't sound like someone I would want to be friends with.

My youngest is 4, my eldest is 12. My eldest babysits my younger kids during the daytime very often.

See? Poor kids forced to parent siblings because of their parents' irresponsible decisions.

Agree. Your kids and your 12 yr old should never be expected to babysit. This is child abuse in my opinion. I would report you to CPS and police.

Please do that, pp. And if you do, can you record it and post the audio here? I would love to hear their reaction

[Anonymous]

Do you also report parents to cps for making their kids wash dishes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. OMG, I misspoke. It's not 60$/hour, it's $60 for a couple of hours. What's the rate for 2 toddlers and a baby?

Often, our outings last longer than a couple of hours. So forking out $90 + plus dinner for a night out is not in many middle class families' budget.

I wouldn’t know. My husband and I—and our circles of friends—aren’t middle class. Guess I’ll have to take your word for it, OP, but in my world, moms of 3+ kids have plenty of free time and fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re old and have an only. We’re still ovulating and have fun fanilies. Can’t relate!

Is this an oxymoron? As for you ovulating…eewwww.

None of the moms of multiples I know look like their having fun. None.

Another poor poster.

[Anonymous]

I just met a happy mom of twins who works part time. Everyone should have twins and work part timr

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 4 kids. You don't sound like someone I would want to be friends with.

My youngest is 4, my eldest is 12. My eldest babysits my younger kids during the daytime very often.

See? Poor kids forced to parent siblings because of their parents' irresponsible decisions.

Agree. Your kids and your 12 yr old should never be expected to babysit. This is child abuse in my opinion. I would report you to CPS and police.

Haha. Please don’t waste resources like this.

[Anonymous]

Lol the oldest watching the youngest is character building and creates a sibling bonds that are strong than any friendship.

Continue to be a bulldozer parent and your kids will never learn how to do anything for themselves.

The best people I know come from siblings of 3-4. No matter how close I am with my friends, I can see now in this stage of life how much having a sibling matters.

Go ahead and judge us for being tired and boring for now- we know what we got ourselves into.

I didn’t grow up with siblings and when I see the unconditional love my kids have for each other, it’s love like I have never seen in my life- and I mean that wholeheartedly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t read most of the responses but this is just so opposite of my experience. I have 2 kids but all of my closest friends have 3 or 4. They all work full time in interesting (to me) jobs across various sectors. Their kids are not crazy - when we get together with the kid’s they generally entertain themselves playing soccer or whatever while we chat. Babies hang out on laps. We try to stay outdoors to avoid an indoor mess. If we want a catch up brunch the husbands chill with their kids at home so no babysitting needed.

Maybe wait for kids to get a little older?

I just met a friend outdoors for lunch. She has 4 kids. She came with 3 kids because couldn’t leave them at home. The whole two hours she kept checking on her two year old who kept walking off and bringing him back, she kept consoling her baby who kept fussing. Our conversation was constantly interrupted “Where is Larlo? I just saw him near the trash can. Larlo, can you spit it out of your mouth? Lrla is crying. Larla is hungry. Larlo, don’t drink it like this you’re spilling it on yourself.” And so on.

We couldn’t really hold a conversation.

Different ages and stages, that's the issue, not the number of children.

Whose age? Mom's age? It has nothing to do with the situation. The stage of her life does. This stage of being unavailable may last 15-20 years if she has 3-4 kids and no one is going to wait this long. That's why SAHMs usually hang out with other SAHMs with the same aged kids. God forbid they have different age kids, then they can't be friends.

Age of kids, age of mom. If mom is early 30s, she may not want to hang out with 50s mom who has a same age tween.

I’m 43 and have a 12yo as well as a 4yo. I have a friend who is 27 and a mom of a 4yo as well as friends with a 50 mom who has a 12yo and kids in college. I also have some childless friends and friends with infants.

I try not to be so close minded. Most of my friends are 35-45.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 5 kids so I have an evolutionary advantage over everyone in this thread

Except me (I have 7)

While you were having evolutionary advantage, you also destroyed the environment. There is nothing worse for the environment than having so many children.

So your children will be fighting wars over fresh water and natural resources and very likely climate refugees. Have you thought of this or did you just picture them living in a house and buying crap at Walmart and having litters of children?

Can you please go to the travel board, the cars board, or the home improvement board? People aren’t going to kill off their children because they are bad for the environment.

Or maybe go boycott Amazon or Walmart or China who are a zillion times worse for the environment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp w 5 kids. I socialize w childless people. I have a spouse who can babysit. I really don't see how its any harder than 2 in terms of my social life. Once you need babysitting you need babysitting

That's pathetic that you see it that way.