I can't be friends with moms of 3+ kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, sweeping generalizations much? I have six kids (2 step kids are included) and have never paid $60 an hour for a babysitter. Hell, because of their age differences, I don't think we've ever had anyone outside the family babysit all the kids at once - it's just never been needed. My kids are very well behaved, and yes, I got easy kids but still, we are strict on behavior and manners and they rise to the occasion.

Maybe try taking each person individually instead of categorizing people.

So you never do anything without your kids? Like you and your DH?

Where did you read that?
I’m a dp but also have six kids. We actually got to go out alone a little more once our older kids could babysit. Yes, we paid them but it was easy to arrange on short notice.

I saw a TikTok a few days ago about how they did some survey and most people said the most difficult was having 3 kids, that after 4 it got easier, so 4, 5, 6 was easy.

Half of the comments on that TikTok were people saying it got easy, because the older kids got old enough to parent younger kids. Most comments had something to say about those poor older kids who were forced to raise their siblings.

Six kids a a lunacy in my world.

It depends on the family.

In some families, the older kids want to be more involved and the parents set parameters so it doesn't verge into parenting their siblings. In others, the older siblings are required to do certain small tasks as part of being in the household, but it's nothing that an older sibling in a family with 2-3 kids might not do. Finally, there are plenty of parents of kids with a large enough age difference who either trade babysitting for expensive activities (that a teen would otherwise get a job to pay for themself) or they babysit their siblings to raise money to buy a car.

Issues only crop up when lower income families use older siblings to parent younger siblings while the parents work 2-3 jobs to try to stay afloat. I highly doubt OP is friends with people in those circumstances, because those parents wouldn't have time to hang out with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t read most of the responses but this is just so opposite of my experience. I have 2 kids but all of my closest friends have 3 or 4. They all work full time in interesting (to me) jobs across various sectors. Their kids are not crazy - when we get together with the kid’s they generally entertain themselves playing soccer or whatever while we chat. Babies hang out on laps. We try to stay outdoors to avoid an indoor mess. If we want a catch up brunch the husbands chill with their kids at home so no babysitting needed.

Maybe wait for kids to get a little older?

I just met a friend outdoors for lunch. She has 4 kids. She came with 3 kids because couldn’t leave them at home. The whole two hours she kept checking on her two year old who kept walking off and bringing him back, she kept consoling her baby who kept fussing. Our conversation was constantly interrupted “Where is Larlo? I just saw him near the trash can. Larlo, can you spit it out of your mouth? Lrla is crying. Larla is hungry. Larlo, don’t drink it like this you’re spilling it on yourself.” And so on.

We couldn’t really hold a conversation.

Different ages and stages, that's the issue, not the number of children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t read most of the responses but this is just so opposite of my experience. I have 2 kids but all of my closest friends have 3 or 4. They all work full time in interesting (to me) jobs across various sectors. Their kids are not crazy - when we get together with the kid’s they generally entertain themselves playing soccer or whatever while we chat. Babies hang out on laps. We try to stay outdoors to avoid an indoor mess. If we want a catch up brunch the husbands chill with their kids at home so no babysitting needed.

Maybe wait for kids to get a little older?

I just met a friend outdoors for lunch. She has 4 kids. She came with 3 kids because couldn’t leave them at home. The whole two hours she kept checking on her two year old who kept walking off and bringing him back, she kept consoling her baby who kept fussing. Our conversation was constantly interrupted “Where is Larlo? I just saw him near the trash can. Larlo, can you spit it out of your mouth? Lrla is crying. Larla is hungry. Larlo, don’t drink it like this you’re spilling it on yourself.” And so on.

We couldn’t really hold a conversation.

Different ages and stages, that's the issue, not the number of children.

Whose age? Mom's age? It has nothing to do with the situation. The stage of her life does. This stage of being unavailable may last 15-20 years if she has 3-4 kids and no one is going to wait this long. That's why SAHMs usually hang out with other SAHMs with the same aged kids. God forbid they have different age kids, then they can't be friends.

[Anonymous]

I am dying at $60/hr for a babysitter. Only on the DCUM nanny board does anyone make that much for watching kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 4 kids. You don't sound like someone I would want to be friends with.

My youngest is 4, my eldest is 12. My eldest babysits my younger kids during the daytime very often.

See? Poor kids forced to parent siblings because of their parents' irresponsible decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am dying at $60/hr for a babysitter. Only on the DCUM nanny board does anyone make that much for watching kids.

What's the rate for watching 3-4 kids for an hour?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a nanny please tel me where these mysterious families with 3+ kids are who pay $60 an hour?

I'd love to know that too!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a dad of three kids going on four. My first comment would be no babysitter costs even remotely $60 per hour. Are they doing your taxes and legal work too? Second comment, lots of people are cheapskates and basically never go out after having any number of kids. Third comment, we OFTEN use the fake excuse that we can't find a babysitter or can't afford one when we just don't want to hang out with that person. Same for airplane tickets to relatives we don't feel like visiting, "oof can't handle five plane tickets." Next thing you know we are all flying to hawaii. OP I bet they just don't want to hang out with you lol

OP here. But they do want to hang out, they do. They just bring all the kids with them and then spend that night chasing after them.

And yeah, good luck with plane tickets and hotels for a family of 5.

[Anonymous]

OP here. OMG, I misspoke. It's not 60$/hour, it's $60 for a couple of hours. What's the rate for 2 toddlers and a baby?

Often, our outings last longer than a couple of hours. So forking out $90 + plus dinner for a night out is not in many middle class families' budget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 5 kids so I have an evolutionary advantage over everyone in this thread

Except me (I have 7)

While you were having evolutionary advantage, you also destroyed the environment. There is nothing worse for the environment than having so many children.

So your children will be fighting wars over fresh water and natural resources and very likely climate refugees. Have you thought of this or did you just picture them living in a house and buying crap at Walmart and having litters of children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re old and have an only. We’re still ovulating and have fun fanilies. Can’t relate!

Is this an oxymoron? As for you ovulating…eewwww.

None of the moms of multiples I know look like their having fun. None.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re old and have an only. We’re still ovulating and have fun fanilies. Can’t relate!

OP here. No, you're not fun. You don't have anything to talk about other than childcare. You're also always tired because you never get any sleep, but you spend your days cooking and cleaning and you complain all the time about your life. So why do this to yourself?

I’m an AVP at a Big Ten. I travel and am a Master’s swimmer. Bye! Sorry you can’t handle more than one lonely child.

This is horrible mean. It was kind of rude of OP to make judgements in her original post, but this is beyond the pale and really reflects poorly on you. Shame on you. So mean.

OP felt free to make some sweeping generalizations. If you dish it out…

OP insulted you (apparently). YOU insulted a child. That's the difference.

No, that poster didn’t. They said OP wasn’t able to handle more than one. That’s a reflection of the Op, not the kid. They were insulting the OP who no one feels sorry for, except apparently you.

I feel sorry for basically everyone on this thread--moms of singletons and multiples. You've all shown your ass today. Congrats!

And what about yourself? You taking the high road?
Save the lecture.

DP. One line comment is a lecture? You didn't fare well in school, did you?

How ironic. It was three lines. Math not your thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re old and have an only. We’re still ovulating and have fun fanilies. Can’t relate!

Is this an oxymoron? As for you ovulating…eewwww.

None of the moms of multiples I know look like their having fun. None.

Who are you people hanging out with? Sounds like there are a lot of uneducated, selfish types here. I chalk that up to younger generations being incapable of thinking about anyone or anything other than themselves.

I have three. We're doing just fine. Travel overseas with kids every year. Also, travel domestically at least 1-2x per year. Kids doing well in school. Plenty of outdoor play. Great careers for DH and myself. Doing well in savings and HHI.

I'm sorry that you're so miserable, OP. It sounds like a class thing. Maybe when you stop being a troll, your friends will treat you better. Or maybe you'll deserve better friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am dying at $60/hr for a babysitter. Only on the DCUM nanny board does anyone make that much for watching kids.

What's the rate for watching 3-4 kids for an hour?

About $3 more than watching one kid for an hour.
You have never babysat or known anyone who has?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 5 kids so I have an evolutionary advantage over everyone in this thread

Except me (I have 7)

While you were having evolutionary advantage, you also destroyed the environment. There is nothing worse for the environment than having so many children.

So your children will be fighting wars over fresh water and natural resources and very likely climate refugees. Have you thought of this or did you just picture them living in a house and buying crap at Walmart and having litters of children?

Can you please go to the travel board, the cars board, or the home improvement board? People aren’t going to kill off their children because they are bad for the environment.